I spent a lot of time pondering this yesterday so I thought I would share. Delegation, I've always known, is one of the most important things in management...you've got to learn to be able to let go of things at the appropriate time and pass on that task in order to free yourself up. I'm pretty darn good at it by now, there isn't much I won't or can't pass on to the right person. Part of being able to do that is letting go of the concept that you are the only person who should or CAN do something. You've got to realize that most things you do can be done by someone else just fine and that you in fact are not solo in your talents and/or abilities. So...that part I get perfectly fine, in the WORK setting.
The hard part for me is taking that concept and translating it somehow to the home. I of course, was realizing this as I was running the 4 million different errands and "things" necessary to make Thanksgiving work (and the next two weeks when we will at some point have a new infant). There is part of me that unconsciously "shelters" my husband from a lot of stuff and I think this is common to a lot of women (although what started me thinking was my girlfriend who on Monday was explaining how she doesn't shelter her husband). By "sheltering" I guess I mean that I do a lot of the multi-tasking, house-organizing, and mentally-draining coordinating that is necessary to keep the ball rolling because I think to myself, "he works so hard, he is such a great father, blah, blah, blah." Part of it is also probably because I want to be able to do it all...or think I "should" be able to do it all.... work, run the kids around, run the household. So there are certain things I just do without even thinking about it, simply because I want to make it easier for other people I love (him and others). That is a nice theory, as long as you aren't killing yourself in the process, which I am.
I guess this is where letting go comes in and delegating. I've got to accept that it is o.k. to ask for help, and o.k. to burden someone else who is already working hard because I'm in the same position, so my only choice is to kill myself trying to accomplish it all, or share the responsibility and we can both semi-kill ourselves. I also have to let go of the concept that I'm the only one who can do the house stuff....I might be the only one between the two of us with the multi-tasking and aforethought skills :-), but I'm definitely not the only one who can run to Cosco for toilet paper and lightbulbs.
Anyway, I think I'm probaby particularly bad at this, but I know at least some other women need to "check" themselves and start delegating too because I see them running themselves ragged. Like I said, others out there, like my dear girlfriend, have a different response...."I just ask" (she is a stay at home mom--which I think would be make it even harder to ask sometimes because you feel like it is your "job" to do all of it). I know if I ask I'll get help (from my husband and any other number of people in my life), and there would be no attitude about it, so it really is silly not to just unburden myself a tad and delegate some of the mania away...hopefully bringing just a tad more peace into my life.
Signed, ME {lv}