My younger sister and I were talking the other day about when she should have children (she is 30 years old, recently married, and officially "trying" to get pregnant). She was waffling back on forth on whether to take 3 months off from trying so she could have a "fun summer". In the course of the conversation she said, "I mean, I'v worked so hard to get in shape and get the body I want, I want to enjoy it..." (she is a yoga instructor and does have a pretty amazing figure), and "the second you have kids you stop being seen as a sexual object or sexy and you are a MOM". I, of course, was insulted....I mean, don't I have a little sexiness left? She assured me that it wasn't meant as an insult, but lets face it, I can't be too sexy picking up kids from pre-school, everyone would just think I was a big old "ho" as she put it. Anyway, it got me to thinking that it is easy to turn off the "sex appeal" mode when you start having children....sure you can turn it on again in a pinch, but running errands, changing diapers, and picking up kid toys in large quantities doesn't lend itself to a feeling of immense sex appeal to the world at large. You're a "mom" after all. My husband would say he thinks I'm sexy all the time, but that is beside the point because it is ME who doesn't feel sexy because I think I fall into the same trap my sister falls into--thinking there is no place for sexiness in "mom-mode". I'm realitively young (not in the eyes of anyone under 25, but still, young to most), and I've decided I want to reactivate my sex appeal. No, I'm not going to do it with a skimpy top and a mini skirt--ugghhh, that is a bad visual--I prefer the subtle sexy looks and the ones garnered from confidence and an awareness of your own attractiveness. I think I'm going to do it by buying myself something I distinctly feel sexy in (vs cute, "lovely" etc.), and I'm going to tap into my inner confidence and let myself feel sexy a bit more. So, this is my pick for my sexy piece of attire..... Nancy Meyer Lingerie , first, a piece of gorgeous (and ridiculously expensive) lingerie--a total indulgence! Next.....DVF Avara Wrap Dress (which I think is fabulously sexy)! Signed, ME {LV}
I'm 47 with two girls, ages 7 and almost 10. The baby and toddler phase was tough. It is hard to feel sexy when you are sleep-deprived and overwhelmed. I have to say though, that having had kids, I now feel "sexier" than ever. Sure my body sags and droops in places that it never did before. but "sexy" comes from within. The power of being a woman, of being able to bear children adds a confidence and dimension to "sexy" that I never had in my 20's.
Posted by: Angela | March 17, 2007 at 08:33 AM
Oh do I hear you sister! I am still relatively young with two children under five. It is hard to feel sexy when you are cleaning and running around like a mad woman. I have recently started to grab some me time and get back to yoga and reading- two things I love almost as dearly as my children. I agree also about the sexy lingerie- it helps a little to have the post breast feeding girls back to their perky state. All I need now is the perfect pair of jeans that fit me well and I will be good to go!
Posted by: Emma | March 19, 2007 at 01:25 PM