I'd call a friend and complain, but I'm afraid they'd fake a house fire to get off the phone. So...the beauty of blogging, I can vent unfettered and will never know who stops reading (which, my best guess is, right about now)! So, the highlights of my weekend (I might add, the LAST weekend pre-Labor Day and pre-start of school for the kids)....
1. I had a sudden and abrupt realization about 1/2 an hour before a BBQ Friday night (the barbeque was across town which Friday at 5:00 means an hour long drive....note to self, don't ever plan a get together on a Friday night unless it is at YOUR house)....anyway, my realization is that I had nothing to wear to Cara's wedding the next day--and when I say nothing, I mean nothing, NADA, zip. I stopped off at the only boutique in the vicinity (conveniently located next to the grocery store where I was getting pre-made salads to bring to dinner..never mind I promised to make something special). I ended up finding a dress (non-maternity but super blousy in the mid-section so it worked.) There were only two options in the whole store....the one I bought, and the other one that I did manage to get ON my body, but then couldn't take it off. And when I say couldn't take it off, I mean I had to put my pants back on in the dressing room and go out to find help taking the dress off...it had lodged itself under my enormous pregger boobs and didn't want to budge. VERY embarassing.
2. Cara's wedding was 3 hours away...it was a beautiful wedding and it was a honor to be there....the only BUT would be the 27 times I had to stop to pee along the way. When driving back at 11:30 p.m. I seriously considered the question of whether the baby could kick a hole in my bladder and kill me instantly??
3. Some of you will wonder if I was smokin' crack when I came up with my goal for Sunday...and it is a legitimate question. The answer is no, I'm just crazy. I got up early, got both kids dressed, and went to Costco. I would have had to do it solo too, but randomly my youngest sister was bored and decided to go with me (she was either really, REALLY bored, or perhaps gearing up to ask me for a loan). My husband was off motorcycle riding, about which I can hardly say much because I was the crazy moron who bought him the bike in the first place.
I'm not sure what it is about having 72 rolls of toilet paper in your stockpile and 1400 zip lock lunch baggies, but I find it comforting. I think it is all the Little House on the Prairie I watched as a kid...and fantasties of getting stuck out in the wild in a huge snow storm, trapped for days. Except in my fantasy we have more than a scrawny chicken and cornmeal to cook. I wanted to do all my pre-school-starting shopping and aquire enough kid lunch treats to last at least a week. Two packed carts later, and for the price of a downpayment on a Kia, I was done. The kids ate every crappy sample, and busted into both the beef jerky AND the dried mangos, but we got out alive.
4. As if I hadn't been punished enough already by my ambitious morning of stockpiling, I then decided to take the kids to buy shoes for school. I took the kids to Haggis McBaggis, this adorable children's shoe store in Portland which I love because they actually know how to fit your kids' feet and they have good quality shoes. Expensive, but really nice. We tried on no less than 50 shoes, the poor sales lady was about to have a break down I think, and my kids touched every single thing in this boutique about 200 times. When the owner walked by and peaked in to the "shoe zoo" situation, he calmly asked if everything was o.k.? My answer? "Sure, nothing a shot of tequila couldn't cure". We walked out of there, after another 6 months of payments on that same Kia, with 4 pairs of shoes that I "think" my kids might actually wear (but as we all know, they are fickle buggers so who knows if they will hate them next week when school starts).
And that is it...well, I also cleaned the house, did about 10 loads of laundry, and have now spent a solid 15 minutes bitching on this blog when I could have been sleeping....oh, except for the fact that I'm sitting here with the kids watching a video (which I've already seen 200 times hence the ability to write AND watch) hoping they will drift off to sleep shortly so I can fall into a coma. This back to school business is killing me!!!
Signed, ME {lv} {aka grouchy and tired}
p.s, The capper is my husband who just tried to bemoan his soar and aching body from a hard day of "riding" the trails. Uhhhh...how about you try lugging 25 extra lbs balanced precariously between your stomach, butt and boobs, 400 lbs of costco food and two kids filled to the max with sugary samples, heavy leather shoes and boots that wouldn't fit in the base of the stroller....not to mention pushing the vacumn around, stressing out my pecks as I load and unload the washer/dryer.....YEAH, that is RIGHT, don't even mention your hard day out on the trails mister unless you want that bike shoved so far up your..... (edited for the faint at heart)!!!
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