I don't make New Year's resolutions. I have always felt they were jinxed from the start by putting on the pressure to succeed.
But this year I have found a way to make a resolution, with no pressure! The resolution is: to remember something I loved to do when I was little, and do it again.
What did you love to do when you were young? What was it that you always looked forward to, and didn't want to stop doing? Was it dancing? Was it drawing?
For me, it was horses. I was one of those horse girls, the crazy ones, the ones that wanted to be on the United States Equestrian Team. I rode and rode for years, and collected horse models by the hundreds. Gradually, I gave my time more and more to other things...friends, boys, rock and roll. The typical story of late adolescence. But I never lost my love for horses, or for riding.
So, I decided to get back to the barn. I looked online and chose the prettiest stable I could find, where the horses looked sleek and happy, and signed up for riding lessons. I still have my old riding boots and breeches, so I showed up, wore one of their student helmets, and met the sweetest mare in all the world, the aptly named "Angel".
I got to groom Angel, and tack her up, and met all of the other horses in the stalls who poked their heads over the doors to sniff Angel, and get carrots from me. It was such a treat. The barn is truly another world with the spicy smells of wood shavings and horses, leather and hay. The sounds of hooves stomping, and the old feeling of being with the animals, kissing their soft noses, lifting Angel's hooves to clean them, finding my saddle in the tack room, was like a balm to my soul. I had returned to a place where I was just me, not mom, not wife, not daughter or sister, just me and the horses. It was totally zen!
After a couple of hours I was tired, and sore, and ready to return to my regular world. I was excited to tell my family about the experience, and I was really ready for a shower. As I drove up the freeway in dirty riding pants and muddy boots, I felt pretty rad. My soul felt refreshed and rejunivated., and I felt strong, interesting, and empowered!
I felt even better after a shower. As I turned to my usual routine of making dinner, and tending to the household needs, I felt different, settled, happy, even fulfilled.
New Year's Resolution? Find that glow! Think of what made you happy when you were small, and give it another try!
xoxo Happy New Year!