The biggest problems I’ve had so far today (and mind you, it’s been a pretty good day and the day is pretty young), is whether to get a 3rd cup of coffee, and what Anni Kuan I want to buy for fall. My kids, apparently face a much bigger issue every single day. This is how I came to understand the harsh realities of elementary school.
All the kids were safely in the car yesterday afternoon, we are pulling away from the curb when Lucia starts nonstop complaining about how we must HURRRRRYYYYYY home (we’re a good 25 minutes from home at this point) because she has to pee so badly she can barely stand it and that she hasn’t gone since this morning. She is clearly in physical pain. What is going on??
Me: “Why didn’t you got during school, that’s definitely not healthy??”
Lucia: “My teacher wouldn’t let me go.”
(here my antenna goes up and I’m instantly in fight mode, ready to pounce on the teacher that is restricting my child’s bodily functions)
Me: “What EXACTLY did your teacher say?"
Lucia: “That I just got back from lunch 5 minutes ago and then he made a face and said ‘really, you have to go now?’ and told me to sit down”.
(Lucia mimics her teachers sideway head tilt and incredulous eyes…”really, you have to go now??” )
(yep, that sounds reasonable. My sympathy has vanished.)
Me: “So why don’t you just go during lunch, or when you have recess after lunch?”
With this question Lucia turns her head 90 degrees and looks over at Ava, Ava turns her head 90 degrees and looks at Lucia and they both have huge wide eyes and open mouths—you would have thought I asked them why they didn’t eat raw pork with chopsticks. It was all immediately followed by eye rolls and enormous sighs.
Luca: “uuuhhhh, there’s no WAY I would go during recess OR lunch, EVERYONE is in there, there’s WAY too many people. Everyone can hear you pee, and then there are huge gaps in the doors so you are literally going pee and people can SEE you…..it’s horrible.”
Ava: “uh, yeah MOM, that’s WAY awkward to have eye contact with someone while you are going pee. It’s not right that they have big gaps, it’s not civilized.”
(ok, fair point)
Lucia: “You don’t understand mom, everyone is banging on the door, telling you to hurry up , and the doors don’t lock that well. It’s dirty, there’s not always toilet paper and you don’t even have time to inspect the seat for grossness”
Ava: “Yeah, I was in there with my friend and someone literally opened the door while she was going…they saw her PEE actually saw her going PEE”.
(she draws out the word pee for affect…ppppppeeeeeeee).
(oh lordy, traumatic)
Me: “Ok, so can I ask you why you didn’t just go AFTER school, I mean, we’ve got a long ride home, we might get in a car accident and your bladder will bursts.”
Lucia: “After school?? That’s almost worse than during school…all these moms bring their little kids in and then they pull on the door while you are trying to go even when it’s locked and then even if it’s locked the little kids will look under the door because they can’t tell we are in there. It’s a nightmare, I’m definitely NOT going pee after school.”
So there you go, it’s not easy being a kid, be happy you’re an adult. Can you imagine all that drama over just going pee?? God forbid someone has to go #2.
I feel like maybe I should be starting a fundraiser for doors on the stalls that don’t have a 2” gap around the door.
I feel really blessed to be able to go to the bathroom without stress today, and I’m super excited for the Anni Kuan to come…IT’S AMAZING!!!
SIGNED, ME {lv}
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