Me in Melange

Spam it to me

I had a wild hair earlier today to google "why do spammers send spam"….mostly because in our inbox at the store there were 100's of spam emails (we filter out a lot, but if your filter is set too aggressive you miss emails you actually want)--therefore we have to hand sift thru quite a few that still slip thru.

Scanning the subject lines:

"Add penis girth….

"Tires..best price for tires"

"CostRicanVacation…."

"Oil Change Coupon...

"Amy Shyumer in bed with Jimmy Fallon….

It fascinates me, the concept that somebody is holed up in some dark room, typing away on their computer creating code to send crap we don't want.  So I googled it….tried to find out more.  What I found made me think about the different "kinds" of spammers.  There's the super illegal "I'm coming from Nigeria with my million dollar property and I need $1000 to deed it"….to cons about Fed Ex packages etc.  They are stealing money, theft without leaving the home (and hard to prosecute although it does happen).

Then there's the whole group of spams designed only for name impact.  They want you to see a name, click on the email, then make the mistake of clinking on a link in the email and book, they get money in their pocket (because they are paid by impression of either the site URL or a popup).  The odds are low, but it's a numbers game--these retailers figure if only one in 10k people click thru and buy something, it's worth it because they are dealing with millions and millions AND millions of emails.

Then there are just the nasties out there who want nothing more than to write code to create damage.  Either sending viruses, or sending information about Amy Shyumer (guessing she really isn't sleeping with Jimmy Fallon).  

The world of the computers and technology create this whole hidden, secretive and dark underground…where all I can envision is some pimply overweight guy, hunched over his computer, drinking soda and punching in code that either makes him money (hard to picture this guy going to an actual "real" job) or satisfy some angry, deeply disturbed aspect of his personality.

It's just incredible how much spam there is.  I probably see 50 penis enlargement emails each morning….I wonder if I was a guy with a small pens what that would do to my subliminal messaging section of the brain?  Might just prompt me to go buy something "enlarging" from one of these sites…who knows!!

 

That's it….my random Friday brain tangent. :-)

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Medieval Face

So I get the magazine More…not even sure why it shows up, probably as the result of a gift with purchase type thing (because I definitely didn't pay for it), but it's not half bad.  I got it about a week ago and there is a section on "reinventing" yourself at any age (always up for the challenge personally).  So one of the things it suggested is that you should get a new beauty routine because it is
shown to increase your happiness (guess when you take "care" of yourself in any way, your mind and body likes it--go figure.)  Dressing up (as in the most dressed person in the room) was another way to reinvent yourself, but I'll save that for later.    So of course, I figured I better do something "new" (and my resurfacing kit didn't count since I had already done that and new means new).

So a handful of minutes later (I'm guessing it was close because if it had been long I would have forgotten the whole thing and moved on).  I got an email from Derm Store about some blog post on MicroNeedle Rollers.  Being a needle-phobic person, of course I was intrigued.  Turns out you use this little medieval looking roller in your hand (seriously, I think I saw this in a big scale version on Gladiator the movie), and you crisscross it all over your face puncturing it with tiny microscopic holes, so that face has to repair itself and sends all those messages of collagen production etc. to the skin, AND simultaneously, the tiny holes provide a straight shot for your products which then work wonders. 

Sounded like total crap, so of course, I bought it immediately.  
I did it once so far….since i bought .5mm which is a very VERY short needle (you can go to a spa and have this done with needles 1.5mm-2.0mm and obviously increase the effectiveness.  This was one situation where I didn't apply my standard "go big or go home" mentality.  I'm a wimp, it kinda hurt.  A sort of prickly sensation with the occasional weird little crisp poppy sound.  I envision the needles popping my skin surface, but not sure that's really it.  I'm suppose to do it twice a week now, up to three times (think I'll be good with two), and we'll see if it works miracles.  Do I feel happier from my new routine….hhhhhmmmmm, thinking maybe I should have picked a kinder routine to add in???

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Dog out, Dog in

My kids never love the dog as much as when he’s lost, it’s the classic “romanticize the past,” even if the past was just yesterday.
Most days Milo (almost 100 lb Great Pyrenees/retriever mix) is too hairy, too big, and too needy.   The kids argue over who is going to feed him, or let him back in to the house after he’s gone outside (honestly, they will watch him at the back door barking and looking at them like ‘seriously, am I not cute enough, don't you love me??”)   They yell at him for following them around, or trying to lick them, he's like the annoying younger brother, always in their grill and all they want to do is brush him off.  

Sure Romeo gives him love (see pic), but I’d say Milo gets maybe 18% love, and 82% verbal abuse from the kids (some of it in the form of general emotional neglect). 

Milo’s fatal flaw (really his only flaw other than being incredibly hairy) is that he is a sneak attack runner. He is 99% lazy, but he’s like a camel, he stockpiles his energy for short bursts and the bursts always happen when he’s seemingly lazing out on the couch, but then the door gets left open for a second and then it’s like a switch is flipped and he goes from overweight couch potato dog, to cougar, in 4 seconds flat. So what I’m saying is that we are no stranger to having to go and track Milo down, usually it’s in our car, and we lure him back into the car by throwing treats at him while he’s running like his tail is on fire. The only thing that will get him to slow down is food. Last time he went to the vet they informed me he was “a bit chunky and should go on a diet today, as in ASAP”…might be due to his great escapes.

So that’s our dog.  On with the story.  Yesterday, at lunch time, I took him for a short run….not for him because honestly he looked like he couldn’t be bothered (sleeping feet up in the air on the couch), but for my own stress relieving purposes.  Ironic since the next 24 hours would prove to increase my stress to max levels. Big mistake going on a run, BIG.  This was one of those situations where I can honestly say being physically inactive would have far benefited me.

Milo pulled a classic “dog running-dog sees squirrel-dog goes crazy” scenario. My problem is that I didn’t have firm grasp on the leash and it slipped from my hand and he was gone. Even if I was puma runner status (which I'm not) I couldn’t have caught up with him. That didn’t stop me from trying, weaving in and out of private property trying to find him and screaming his name as if he'd actually come when I called.  I looked ridiculous.  The big problem, we were dangerously close to a "pet cemetery" type highway/road, and Milo is not good with cars.  He's also not smart enough to wander home on his own.

I told the kids after school that he ran away and they were devastated. Is this the same dog that you refused to feed yesterday?  The same dog that you refused to throw a ball with?  Lucia said that she was scared and couldn’t go to sleep without Milo there. Gia said the “house felt weird” without him. I asked Romeo if he would forgive me if we didn’t find Milo. He looked at me and said “I u-give you if we find him, I not u-give you if we don’t”. When he saw the sad look on my face he instantly back tracked and said, “no, no…I u-give you”. Thank god I have one sweet boy that wants to make me happy. Lucia just wanted to know why I didn’t hold the leash tighter (coupled with that look that tweeners give that says "you're an idiot and I'm on to you.")

So he was MIA for 24 full hours, until just about an hour ago, when a kindly neighbor down the road called me and said “do you have a big yellow dog?” AH, yes indeedy, he’s big…and yellow, and thankfully alive. OK, crisis over, now the kids can get back to being annoyed by Milo. There will be a 5 minute lovefest when they see him, and then Ava will yell at him for getting fur all over her running pants.  They will be devastated all over again on his next great escape (and let's face it, that could happen any time). 

Signed, ME {lv}

Resurfaced and feeling all grown up!

So you know how I'm a big sucker for scientific studies….especially the ones that promise youth and happiness :-).  I bought this Philosphy resurface


"kit" and got to say, I added myself to the list of "100% of the people" and the "84% of the people" because I did it last night and this morning my skin does look pretty fantastic.  I bought mine on Amazon (because I use the Prime overnight since immediate gratification is always more fun).  It was way cheaper on Amazon too I might add, but now that i have I I would have paid more for it anyway (knowing how much I like it).  So there you go, advice on skin products you didn't ask for and didn't know you needed (but maybe you kind of do)!!

 

I also got this new Eileen Fisher cardigan, which I feel like it is a grown up and sophisticated version of my beloved Hard Tail Slouchy Cardigan.  

It's cozy…soft, I can throw it on with everything, I love the two-tone detailing and seam work.  It's pretty all around awesome.  Signed, ME {lv}                               

 

Things that bug late at night...

So here's my (maybe) short list of things that bug on this Monday night at 11:10 p.m. :

 

1. Why did I ever promise (out loud) that I would do a blog post Monday thru Friday?  That was just dumb.
2. Why does my hormonal cycle at 45 years of age take me on a sleep roller coaster?  Some days during the month I am literally WIDE awake at 11:00 p.m., other times I feel like I've been clubbed over the head at 8:30 p.m….I'm fine one minute and then it's like someone slipped me a roofie and I'm out.  I've done the evaluation, it's not caffeine, therefore I am guessing it has to do with "other" hormonal factors unique to my age/stage.  Yuck. I just want to sleep normal for pete's sake.  I should have been sleeping 2 hours ago!  
3. I'm almost out of my beloved RMS coconut oil face cream, which i have lavished on my face nightly since I got it a couple of months ago.  The irritating part is that EVERY time I use it now I think of Ava & Lucia making fun of me because my face was greasy.  Apparently I look like a greased turkey and smell like a bowl of popcorn.  I feel better that way than dry and crackly, but they said it like it was a bad thing so that bugs and now I can't get the image out of my head.
4. I'm tired of waiting for MOL.  I'm super excited…it's adorable, and it needs to come already.  I'm ready for some Spring wardrobe planning.  I know I can't wear it yet, but when the bell goes off, I'm jumping out the gate looking awesome. How am I going to do that unless I obsessively plan?
5. Why does it have to be meatballs for school lunch tomorrow (never mind the quinoa and cauliflower salad)??  Gia has already refused it eat it which means I have to wake up in exactly 6.2 hours (if I fall asleep in the next 2 minutes), and try to scrape together lunch.  Alternative?  Make her get hot lunch, she won't eat it, I'll pick her up at 3 pm and she'll be famished, irritable, and her hunger will have obscured her ability to learn her times table all afternoon (which will lead to certain doom and failure as an adult).
6. I think #1 deserves repeating.  What was I thinking? (note to self, maybe don't wait until 11pm to try and scratch out blog commitment.)
7. Quite frankly, it bugs that I'm bugged.  I think besides my hormonal sleep issue, I just have an overall irritation roller coaster problem.  What is that?  It's like some crazy mid-40's thing…and no, I'm not para menopausal (which my mom has been telling me for the last 5 years, enough times that I actually went and had it checked and no, turns out I'm NOT).  Suck it mom.  Sorry, that was mean.  But something must be up.  Unless my true personality didn't come out until I was in my 40's and I had secretly been suppressing it.  That would be a bummer.  My doctor put me on some "cocktail" about a year ago of Vitamin D, magnesium, iron, and something else in the same vein (i.e. non prescription hocus pocus…all intended to boost my energy and smooth out my irritation.) Think I've been off my meds.                                                                                                        I'll do better tomorrow.  

Signed, ME {lv}

Friday laugh!

This was outside a hipster restaurant, and it gave me a good laugh!  Happy Friday everyone!!

 

Signed, ME {lv}

Growing up to TBT

I can still remember in my youth and naive saying “I’ll never wear a bra without the matching underwear…” or “I’ll never go without having my roots done the second they need it…” or “I’ll never let my kids crawl on the grocery store floor throwing a fit…” Fast forward…and yes I do, to all three.

Now, I’m going to admit something. When I first bought Tees by Tina for the store I totally snubbed them to the rep. I only ordered them because SHE swore they were great, and I trust her and I knew that “people” in general loved them.
I wasn’t convinced personally. I can remember saying that I didn’t like the synthetic fabric…had no desire to wear it myself. I would get it for the store, because “some other” people don’t mind that fabric. HA. Well, I’ve come around. Here’s the deal. It’s hard to get that same hold, that same smoothing affect with a mere cotton/lycra blend. It’s just not going to happen. Here’s the other deal….it turns out I hate back fat MORE than I hate synthetic fibers. Way more.

Plus I’ve gotten over the notion that “synthetic” is bad. It’s not like the polyester images of the 70’s—all shiny and yuck. It’s come a long way. It’s very sophisticated and it turns out that man-made fabrics can be nicer, stronger, and softer than the “real” deal.

I’ve come to appreciate, rely on, and fully embrace the Tees by Tina tanks. I wear them over my bra, they smooth out all the lines, give me a little extra support, and add a spot of color when I need it (sometimes just a little of punch color under my basic blacks and charcoals is all I need to keep upbeat.  They are nice and long, so they will smooth out the waist, zipper lines etc., and they don't hitch or roll up.  They do really seem to fit 95% of the people, shocking, but true.  All in all, they work well, satisfy a great place in the wardrobe, and I find myself picking up random colors to go under random things…that floral sheer top  that needed a pale yellow tank, or that navy blue sheer cashmere sweater that needed a midnight blue tank.  It's an inexpensive way to complete outfits!  

Signed, ME {lv}

ps  I really do wish all my bras and underwear matched…I think I might need to change that!

My new saying….

You know that saying, “do one thing that scares you every day?”   My new saying is “take care of one thing that annoys you every day”.   Here’s the story, and I warn you, I sound like an idiot.

In my office I have a television, and I usually watch a fair amount of CNN while I’m working. Sometimes I have to turn it off, too much misery and sensationalism of said misery and once you hear the loop, you’ve heard it all.   But sometimes I just want company, because it’s quiet and apparently Jake Tappers voice is soothing (??) J

So at least once, usually 2-3 times during any sizable chunk of CNN watching, the t.v. will spontaneously pop up a box that says “your viewing will now be interrupted and your DVR recorded show will start, is this ok?”.   There is then a yes or no button button in the box, and theoretically if you see the pop up in time you can hit no and it will stop the recording. BUTTTTT if you are like me, you always catch it a hair too late, and then it will spontaneously jump to whatever show has been DVR’ed. because that is what some idiot has told it to do.

John ("that idiot"), in some delusioned state of mind, decided one day to set up some 15'ish automatic recordings schedules…”new AND repeat” shows of things like Mickey Mouse Playhouse, Teen Titans, Flintstones, My Little Pony. Those are just a few. I’m not sure why he thought our kids, who don’t watch any television during the school week, would need to binge watch re-runs of Teen Titans on the weekends, but apparently he did. They don’t even like ½ those shows.  

I can’t express the level of aggravation that this has caused me. Every single time it happens I curse John’s name. He is never around to hear my curses (most of the time he’s either traveling or somewhere physically too removed to throw something at him). The annoyance factor of listening to a news story, and then all of a sudden it switching to the voices of My Little Pony. It’s nearly driven me mad. More than once I tried to delete the recordings…I would spend 10 minutes trying to hit the right buttons (following an intuitive theory), get irritated and give up. This routine has gone on for 2 years. TWO YEARS. There’s no logic to why someone would sustain that level of annoyance for two years without doing something about it.

Today my friends, as I’m listening to tales of the stock market tanking, typing away on my computer, all of a sudden I hear “Wiiiilllllmmmmmmmaaaaaa, I’m hoooooommmmmmmeeeee…..” and the abnoxious sounds of the Flinstone’s chorus.

That’s it, I’d had it. Finally, I snapped and decided to stop being irritated. It took me 6 minutes start to finish to google “how to get rid of auto recording on DVR”, get the directions, and then proceed to delete the 12 different recording rules that no one has watched or will watch.

Liberated at last. The relief and joy that I felt in finally taking care of that thorn in my side. Seriously, you can’t know. I’m doing a celebratory happy dance in my head and plan on pouring some wine and toasting myself tonight. Celebrating the end of my stupidity (at least as far as DVR’s go).

Moral of the story. Don’t live with something that is bugging you. Chances are it’s easier to fix than you think.   All those irritated moments were completely wasted (and may have in fact added to my crows feet which I so judiciously work at getting rid of), I should have fixed this thing long ago!

Tomorrow Siganka comes and I’ll have all kinds of things to say about that…it’s CUTE and has me thinking of the sunny, dreamy days ahead.

Signed, ME {lv}

False starts and new styles….

There’s a rule in the universe, that if you get too excited that something will be one way, it’ll be exactly NOT that way. It's like the opposites rule…say what you want, and you'll get the opposite for sure.  Today was evidence. I closed the day yesterday after working late with a note that I started to Amanda just confirming I was working all day and that I had no appointments. My plan was to “bust thru” some projects and be super productive.  Amazing superwoman productive.  I was excited, real excited.

I dropped the kids off this morning, and sent off the note to Amanda via email with a short “confirmation” that all was good and the kids were all at school…I was ready to get on it and cross some crap off my list.

I was making good speed on the list…cruising along. Feeling good…dare I say, great.  Phone rang, and it was the school (never a good thing). Ava gets on the phone and tells me she’s sick—sick enough she has to come home. I tested the depth of that by reminding her she’d miss her singing lesson (which she loves). Nope, she’s still too sick to stay at school.

So there you go…I’m running along, good pace going and then it all comes to a screeching halt. Rule number one, you can’t get too attached to any plan or it's sure to get changed.

The other lesson I learned today…or rather I was reminded of this morning, is that it’s ok to just change your mind about your style. We get more rigid as we get older. We think we are boxed into our own image. We think we are locked into items we thought we loved or we paid a lot of money for. I was listening to Ava and Lucia have a short interchange in the back seat today. The entire trunk of the car is full of clothes for Goodwill. We did a kid’s clothing purge. Among the items peaking out of the top of one of the bags was some item Ava had bought in Paris apparently and she was telling Ava how much she had loved it, but then she matter of factly said “but then my style changed, and now I can’t stand it.”

I was thinking, how liberating that is—the concept that you can just change because you want to. It’s one of those wonderful things about youth, you just allow yourself to reinvent, develop, change and grow without too much thought about it. One day you like it, one day you don’t. Simple. Done. Moved on. It was a nice reminder to just allow myself to have style transformations, mishaps, or whims….it might keep me young and it's definitely more fun.

I'm definitely NOT going to be productive tomorrow.  Maybe saying that will get me to the place i want to go. :-)

Signed, ME {LV}

Working Weekend….

There’s work, and then there’s WORK. This weekend was the latter.   I was all up in Marie Kondo’s “Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up”. Basically, I purged, hard. It felt great, and I’ll share my stumbling blocks and successes.

First, when she mentions in the book you shouldn’t involve your family, she’s right. At one point I was in Gia & Romeo’s room going thru a small mountain of stuffed animals. It was the trifecta of bad decisions…between Gia, Romeo and myself—we brought way too many issues to the table. I held up each animal/doll/fluffy thing and said “is it important to you?” To which Gia answered almost always “no” (the exception was a hideous Minnie Mouse stuffed animal with several tears and a split eyeball that took me 30 minutes to sew up), and Romeo answered almost every question with “yes, VERY important.” Then I threw in my own attachment issues, and despite Gia wanting to toss everything, I found her unsentimental perspective sort of unsettling. Really? You don’t want to keep the stuffed donkey you begged for our on trip to France? No? You don’t want to keep the stuffed ballerina that I gave you from when I was a kid?? That whole process took about 2 hours (2 hours I’ll never get back I might add). We did all the toys/kids books/doll clothes and stuff animals, and ended up with 3 huge bags to give away.  I should have just done the whole thing solo, I doubt they would have noticed any of the missing items because honestly at the end there were only a couple things they really loved and the rest is just back in a big basket (and will probably be ignored until next time I declutter, hopefully more deeply).

Second reason not to involve family….when I finally DID have bags and bags of stuff from my own closet all nicely ready to depart by the door, I had Ava & Lucia rummage thru it all and try to take half of it back into the house (which really means no decluttering, it means redistributing in the same house).  I'm pretty sure Ava doesn't need my Jawbone bracelet, or the 14 strand Chan Luu necklace that's too big for my frame…pretty sure it's WAY too big for Ava.  

My successes? I had some. One was getting all the things in the “repair pile” done. I got out the needle and thread and dug sewing
101 out of my memory. I even reattached the little guards on Romeo’s swim trunks. Yes, those little things were some of the random stuff I found—I apparently actually kept the little plastic things at the end of the drawstring, and once I realized I had kept them, I couldn’t very well just throw them away!

I found stuff I didn’t even know I had. I emptied the entire linen closet—the WHOLE thing, and restacked and organized everything. Hello twin pillow protectors, I bought you several times over thinking I had none. Turns out I have lots.  Being disorganized is expensive.

What I do know is there is something deeply satisfying about having a place for everything.   Just knowing that things have a designated place, and are actually there…it makes me really happy. I organized all my drawers accordion style instead of on top each other.
It makes it a million times easier to see what is in your drawers (and more fits in there) and I’m not sure it really takes longer to put away (which was my initial fear).

I'm not done, sadly I have some decluttering mountains to still tackle (3 car garage for one…which contains no cars, only boxes, and stuff, and more stuff).  The house though, that feels good.  It feels like if I packed up my house tomorrow every box would have a titled name, and there would be no "catch all" boxes with loads of the stuff you don't know where to put (and therefore it sits there until long after you unpacked everything else and you usually are tempted to just throw it away but instead you start a junk drawer).  Feels good and I love starting my week like this!

Signed, ME {lv}

Looking Forward…..

One of the things on the list of “8 Scientifcally Proven Ways to Make You Happier” is to plan something fun to look forward to. Apparently the planning and anticipation is half the fun—literally.  I'm a sucker for scientific studies (the ones that promise "to make you look 20% younger" always get me).  So in that spirit, I’m future planning several things. 1) my spring wardrobe 2) my upcoming move from our current house in May 3) our Europe trip in June.

I’m going to talk about #3 first, because it’s the one I’m most obsessed with. We’re going to Italy, and France for a nice big chunk of time this coming Summer, and because John’s work, and relative inflexibility with that pesky thing, some of it will be with him, and some will be me and the kids solo.   Think Paris 2014, but this time I know all the tricks to prevent (or limit) my insanity. The kids and I are starting the trip in Paris, we have 2 weeks alone together (16 days to be exact), and then will meet John and friends in Italy. So my plan is a ROAD TRIP. Here’s my inspiration pic to the right.

Here’s also the “back down to reality pic” on the left, because clearly I can’t take a two seater (bummer).   Kids in trunk??  Note how carefree and chic the driver looks.
The reality picture doesn’t fully depict the 4 kids inside, in various stages of unravel.  I'm pretty sure I'm not going to look quite as chic in this decidedly "uncool" car, but I can deal.

We’ll be road tripping from Paris straight thru to Austria with key stops on the way. Then back down to Italy, stopping in Milan to pick John up before heading to Umbria. Can. Not. Wait.  Truck loads of pasta are in my future, I should start working out now.

 

 

 

My Spring inspiration…easy dresses.  No brainer, throw on, good to go, always fabulous.  This blue dress from Velvet is one of my favorites…interesting print, gorgeous color, LOVE.

My summer inspiration is going to be the same…..easy throw on dress for travel, and some pink Birkenstock flip flops (because they will actually be comfortable for walking in Europe).  

 

I’m going to have to work on an inspiration board for our house move…something visual to cement my vision (which is a little foggy right now).  If you can’t see it, articulate and envision it, it definitely isn’t going to happen.  The one thing I always have in my office….a vision board.  I've just decluttered it of all pictures, quotes that I've already digested thoroughly, and kid artwork.  It's primed and ready for all my new year visions.  Those Birkies….they are on the vision board.

 

Signed, ME {LV}

Blog Out New Year

I've been slowing working up to my vision of 2016.  Yes, 14 days into the new year, I'm just starting to come down from the holiday hangover, and cement down what I'm going to make of my 2016.  

I was inspired by this book, sent to me as a gift from my favorite designer/person/artist friend, Anni Kuan.  She's cool like that.  I'm completely immersed in the process of artfully designing the life I love (thank you Anni)!!  
So, in the spirit of that, and because as soon as I sat down with this book and pulled out my pen I realized that I love writing, find it therapeutic and relaxing (and God knows I need therapy), so I'm committing myself to writing more (think this was also a commitment last year, but this year it's going to stick).  I'm such a creature of habit, so if I put it into my schedule among other structured schedule items--it's likely to stick.  So brace yourself, I'm going to write a post Monday-Friday….every single week day, whether I have something to say or not.  Chances are it'll be the latter.  I'll have to change it up to keep myself interested.…fashion, life, motherhood, work, play, and everything in-between.  I am not of fan of the word "blog" (just doesn't sound pretty to me)….I'm wondering if I can figure out something else to call it?   It'll be my diary, except maybe less honest…it's too late to have a pen name and secret identity isn't it?  

Today, I'm just going to share something that I've been thinking about every day since January 2nd.  In December a friend's husband died, rather suddenly after a longer battle with bladder cancer.  He had it, he beat it, it came back, he fought, it became terminal, and within days of the terminal diagnosis, he passed away.  His wife, my friend, and their 3 children, are left with the void and the grief.  Sorry, I know that's a sad story to lay on everyone, but the part that I wanted to share is what she said on January 2nd, his memorial celebration.  She spoke about how in the midst of all this horrible pain of missing him, she took a lot of peace from the fact that they said everything they ever wanted to say to each other.  Not just in the last days of his life, but during their whole life together.  Nothing was left unsaid, nothing.  

I thought there was tremendous beauty in that statement…in the ability to find peace because you could say, without hesitation that you loved, felt, said, expressed, everything that you wanted to toward that person.  She encouraged everyone there that day to make sure that they lived their life like that with the people they loved because it was one thing that really brought her some peace.

A few days later I asked John as we lay in bed if he felt like he'd said everything he wanted to say to me….his response was, "Uh, yeah, I think so."   I was hoping for something more meaningful from him, like "well, if I didn't say it before, let me remind you….".  That I didn't get, BUT, I will say that a few days AFTER that interchange with him, as we were laying in bed, I told him that I wanted to make sure that he knew I thought he was the most amazing person I ever met.   Why did I say it (especially given the fact that he didn't say anything to me and retribution did cross my mind--I'm petty like that)? Well, besides the obvious, which is that is how I feel, I tried to think back on when I said that out loud before.  I'm sure I probably have….we've been together for 20 years, so some of those years are foggy now but I know I probably was more demonstrative with my love at some point.  I liked saying it, and liked making sure he knew it and was reminded of it.  I liked reminding myself too.

So take a moment everyone, to make sure you let the expressions of your heart be articulated verbally, or in writing, or in an email…just get them out there.  Yes, most of the people you love probably know it already and have maybe heard it all before, but there's something eternally special about saying things that are heartfelt, loving and of genuine kindness.    

Until tomorrow peeps….

 

ox

Signed, {LV}

 

 

 

Winter Break

I love January. That may be a controversial statement for some because I mean, come on. It's the dead of winter. It's when bitter winds blow and freeze your face. It's when you have to defrost your windshield every morning and it gets dark at 4:30pm. I know, I get it. But on the other hand...it's so clean. Those same frigid winds to me feel like a total cleanse after all the heat of summer and the bloated indulgences of the holidays. To me the rain washes and rinses the world of all the trash and dust and human pollution accumulated over the year. The cold winds blow it dry and blast all the dust and dirt from the corners. The birds soar on that wind, dipping crazily as it tosses them around in the sky, and they love it. They carry on above the early rush hour traffic while the headlights blare below, drivers cramped in their idling, exhaust-puffing cars, waiting to...go...go...waiting...cursing the night, the crows revel in it, free, soaring, calling to each other.

I love the early nights. I think I am "crepuscular" by nature, I learned that word from a documentary about deer, who are also crepuscular. It means you love the changing hours of the day to night/night to day - dawn and twilight. And the dawns and twilights of January, though particularly close together, are special. Winter light is remarkably colorful, pale pastel pinks, apricots, indigos, and peach...the bare branches of the trees outlined against this soft rainbow are like a winter poem. 

January is a time to appreciate the sight of Mt. Hood covered in snow. After a summer of intense drought, with weeks of 100 degree days the like I've never seen in my 40 years in Oregon, the mountain dry and bare and hot for months on end, it is finally covered in snow. What this summer may bring nobody knows, but right this minute the mountain is cool. Ahhhh, it's a relief to look at. 

January is also a time to cook nourishing, hot food. Clean food. It's time to replenish the body after the rich indulgences of the holidays. It's time for soup. For stew. For roasted vegetables. And it's a time to appreciate the intense COLOR and LIFE in the natural world. Fare from bare, the winter garden is a stunning collection of color, albeit not the outrageous, more obvious flowering of summer. But cut into the gorgeous root vegetables of the season like beautiful beets, colorful carrots, and those incredible purple yams! YUM! WOW! So easy to make, simply cube them, dab them with olive oil, and roast at 400 degrees for 40 minutes. Beyond delicious, and give the body much-needed nutrients and fiver, and they just feel good for the soul.

Finally, January is a time for playing indoor games. After a brisk and windy walk to a neighborhood church that has become a lovely, cozy coffee shop, the hub and I took down their battered Scrabble game from the shelf and played while we drank their very delicious almond milk latte and bran muffin. I love that space with its high wooden rafters and beams, amazing stained glass windows that cast a beautiful golden light, and hushed interior. Sometimes you can hear the organ being played in the other room, and it's just marvelous. Of course sometimes there are crowds of very loud and un-monitored children, and when that happens you just gotta' cut your losses and go. But most of the time we luck out and get a window of peace and serenity and Scrabble. 

So...don't rush January out the door in search of Spring. Spring will come soon enough, indeed it is just around the corner, and soon after that..summer. With the planet heating up the way it is, and the water shortages there are, I would like to savor this time of moisture, of cold, of winter light, however brief, and of the peaceful winter dark. It is a time for physical and spiritual rest. Let's make the most of it. 

XOXOXOOX HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!! DR 

New Year, New Projects

I don't do New Year's Resolutions, but I do like to look ahead to any creative goals I have, just so I can make sure to have the right tools and supplies on hand when the time is ripe. Three such goals I have for myself this year are:

1.Buy an electric guitar, and take some lessons. I've played guitar and bass for years, but am self-taught so my chords are a little awkward. We got my daughter lessons when she was younger, but now she's not interested, so it's my turn. :)  

2. Experiment with raw, vegan cuisine. I've been a vegan cook and baker for years now, and love it so much, but would also love to clean up the old diet even more with less oil, and more raw, nut-based options. I have been SO inspired by all the new foodie instagram accounts and facebook pages, there are some lovely ladies out there making gorgeous, delicious, super-healthy food. Their photos are so inspiring, I've got to give it a try myself!

3. Learn to weave. I am totally in love with the latest craze of woven wall art. I've always liked my mother's macrame and old rugs she hangs on the wall, but let's face it, they are a little dated. Today there seems to be an explosion in the textural wall art realm, with the most stunning fibers, colors, and composition you could wish for! I found this amazing page of photos and links to weaving tutorials, I'm excited to give it a try. 

That's about it for new projects this year. I have some old ones I'm still working on, and I'm looking forward to their culmination. Writing, print-making, and hopefully some self-publication are all on the immediate horizon. If the results are worth sharing, I'll share them here. 2016 is off to a fun start!

XOXOXO DR