When I was 19 years-old, living in my first apartment, my bed consisted of a broken-down futon laid over a bunch of plastic milk crates. No lie. My bookcases were cement blocks with wooden planks between them, and my rent was only 86.50 a month, for my half of the two bedroom place I shared with one of my best friends, Debbie. This was in 1985. Granted, it was a crap-hole apartment, down by the railroad tracks, so close that whenever a train went by, which was every hour or so, the entire place shook. We were also right next to a cannery that worked all night with forklifts going in and out of its giant doors, carrying thousands of silver cans, the contents of which we could guess by the smell in the air. It was either beets, or beans, or carrots. And they all smelled bad.
Although we lived in such a humble abode, and I had no real furniture per se, I always took great care with my bed and bedding. Over the broken-down futon I would tenderly spread my very-clean, mismatched sheets, tucking them in and artfully arranging the various quilts and blankets I'd collected so that it looked comfy and cozy and welcoming at all times. Being a kind of sensitive person I have always valued a sanctuary. The rest of the apartment might be trashed, but my bedroom was clean and my bed always welcoming. The same could not be said through long the days of raising kids. The kids were actually IN my bed, so it was no sanctuary. That was ok because at the time I'd found a whole new kind of sanctuary with my baby. She was welcome in my private world - she became my private world. Until about age 11. When the attitude hit, mommy started needing a hiding place again.
These days I still don't have an ideal situation - we have a two bedroom house, one of which my husband sleeps in, and the other is for my teenage daughter - but even though I sleep in the basement, my sanctuary is better than ever! My husband and I slept in the same bed for the first 15 years of our marriage, and then one day I realized that I had to get my own. I needed better sleep! I needed room to spread out, and our bed was cramped with both of us, and sometimes the dog. I'm almost 6 feet tall (and so is my husband), and a queen-sized bed just doesn't work. Add to that the fact my husband talks (loudly) in his sleep and I have back pain which makes me sleep in weird positions, and now these horrendous hot flashes...well, having our own beds is a must if we don't want to become stark, raving, sweating loonies. PLUS having your own bedroom space is fantastic for other reasons! I think it is highly underrated. No more stressing out about how badly he makes the bed, or how he leaves clothes all over the floor. It's in his room, not mine! Mine stays neat as a pin and feels calming every time I enter it, basement or no basement.
It is a finished basement that I have made as cozy as possible, and until my 18 year old daughter moves out (this summer) and I can take her room, it works very well as a sanctuary. I have soft rugs down there, a comfortable couch, pretty lamps, and even though every now and then I see those shiny silver slug trails that tell of a nocturnal basement visitor, I have yet to see the actual culprit. I have hung sheer curtains around my bed, which is no longer a futon on milk crates, it's a Beauty Rest pillow top mattress that I would consider marrying if I wasn't already married. It is a dream mattress. I only buy over-300-thread count sheets now because I have very sensitive skin, and I wash them OFTEN. (I looooove clean sheet, one of the great joys of life! And very healing - even on Downton Abbey they talked about how important good food and clean sheets were to the wounded soldiers recuperating there.) The smell of my bedding after it's been lightly bleached, washed and dried is like a haven in itself. Instantly relaxing. And isn't that what a bed is all about? I recently purchased a new duvet cover and shams that have such a pretty print and tiny tassels at the edges, and new sheets so that crawling into bed at night with the curtains around me I feel like the princess that I deserve to be. We all deserve it!
So my life-hack advice today is to spend time on your bed. Take care of it, Buy nice sheets. Make it a sanctuary for yourself to retreat to every night, or day. Or whenever you want. I read a quote somewhere once that said, "A made bed is a clean room". I think that is true literally and metaphorically. One could easily say "A made bed is a peaceful life".
Amen! Happy Monday!
xoxoxo DR
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