Me in Melange

Day 45-46: Cheese hog, Dissections, and Laundry

There’s nothing worse than being solo with the kids from a cheese perspective.   The kids will eat a lot of mild cheeses, creamy bries, or dry parmesans, but they steer clear of the stinkier and more funkier cheeses. This only poses a problem because as the only adult here, and the only ONE eating said stinky cheese, it’s abundantly clear to me that I have eaten WAY too much. When you have other people noshing on the apps, it’s easy to think they took the lion’s share of the cheese hunk. Right now, I’m having to face the music of my own personal cheese-fest. I also ate three figs….which were amazing, fantastic, glorious. Cheese and figs should cross all cultural boundaries, who can resist this stuff?

Yesterday John left, but while he was suppose to leave via train at 8:00 a.m., he got down to the station, and realized in a panic that the train gods were not looking out for him because there was a rail strike and John’s train to Venice was cancelled. His train to Venice took him to the Venice airport, where he flew two different legs, landing in Atlanta, then to LA. Nightmare flight home. Anyway, I was leisurely having coffee, in my pj’s when the apartment buzzer sounded off, and John asked in a panic, “can you drive me?” So I forced everyone up and into the car, in a total flurry, despite the rigorous resistance from Ava and Lucia who were dead asleep. I probably could have left them home for the 3 hour round trip, but I just couldn’t quite take the plunge on that.

So we spent half the day driving John to Venice….where he caught his plane and made his way stateside.

We’ve been pretty lazy ever since. Left to our own devices, with no guests, no schedule, and not even John around to make me feel guilty for not filling the cultural agenda to the brim, we are free to sloath-it-up. And sloath-it-up we have.

Notables would be the Teatro Anatomico….basically, the theater of anatomy. The room used by the University of Bologna as far back  as the 16^th century in the training of doctors, the home of the first medical school in Europe. Officially not sanctioned by the Catholic church (desecration of the dead, they aren’t big on that), apparently Bologna was fairly cutting edge at the time and very proud of this facility which is an incredibly ornate wood carved room (fairly intimate), with a white
marble slab in the center where the dissections were performed The entire room is done in the word—except the slab-making it very striking. Of course, you need only say “dissection” to any kid and their ears perk up. What? Did you say they sliced someone open?? Were they alive?? They are medieval in their thinking, kids are scary.

We had a monsoon rainstorm this afternoon which was super fun. It gave me the perfect excuse to hibernate although technically this city is perfect for rainy days because there are porticos everywhere, so you can stay dry as you walk.   Ava and Lucia went of in search of Boba tea (I personally can not understand WHY anyone would like those snotty little balls of jelly in their tea, but it was three hours of entertainment for them). Romeo and Gia spent a sizeable chunk of the late afternoon knee deep in the big bag of legos we bought.   That left me free to read….and almost finish my book (The Nest…very entertaining book).

So that’s my two days of sloathing. Sorry there isn’t something more crazy to report, or interesting. Somehow I doubt anyone wants to hear about the fact that I caught up on the laundry, which is actually a feat. The dang washer is so small that I almost have to keep the thing going nonstop to actually avoid a big pile of dirty clothes (and my type A, bit on the crazy side personality, really HATES to see a big pile of dirty laundry).  

I’m still detoxing, this is day #2 of no alcohol or sugar. I feel a little less crazy. I did amp up my cheese intake about 400% though, so after I’m done detoxing from alcohol and sugar, I’ll detox from cheese.

Romeo's dog of the day is this white beauty, who sits inside of this little flower store we walk by.  It seems like a pretty good gig for a dog, lounging around a flower shop, given the fact that it's 1000 degrees outside so running around chasing pigeons just sounds exhausting.  This guy doesn't look happy though....we named him Prozac, because he looks like he needs some.  

Signed, ME {lv}

Day 42-44: Lost and Found, City of Love, and Rain

It’s been three days since I last posted…and it feels like it was about two hours. It’s all warp speed now. So I’ll just give you the high and low lights.

First, low light parenting moment. We went back to Florence with my sister and her two kids (her husband decided to “opt out” of traveling for a couple of days, much to my sister’s frustration…some marital counselor is going to make big bucks on them after they get home). She rallied though, and although we had already gone to Florence once, we felt like time number two would only be better, AND we didn’t want her to leave Italy without seeing it. This time we took a fast train, and 30 minutes later we were there.

Great day overall, but the low light? We were in a little boutique, in which the three little boys bought toy Ferrari’s (because what else would a little - or big - boy want?)   It was a little chaotic, as any purchase in a small boutique is because you’ve got little kids, breakables, small space, and the Italian shop keepers are generally speaking, NOT big on anyone touching anything. You end up saying “no” and “don’t touch” 5 million times. So we made the purchase, and the sweet owner was trying to get the cars out of the packaging for the kids (which were secured with, of course, a screw and then you need, of course, a screw driver to get it out). Gia was in the back of the store wanting to buy a tiny pink ceramic Vespa scooter. I don’t even bother asking if they “need” that anymore. Their money, their choice. So she’s got her hand into her purse fishing out change for her purchase, the boys are about to get their cars and then “vroom vroom” all over the store at max velocity, and so because I see impending disaster I usher them out of the store. My sister is somewhere in that mix, and so is Ava & Lucia…John is at the doorway (because truthfully, there is no way we’d all fit in the store).

So we get outside, and it feels crowded, and bustling, and we decide we need to move out of that area and into something quieter. Florence is just SO busy in the Summer. We start trekking down the sidewalk, make a left, then a right, then a right…we’re maybe 3 full blocks away when finally the crowds thin out and I look around and don’t see Gia. I do the head count, she’s not there, we are on a quiet street now, so it’s clear she’s not a few people back, and she’s definitely not with us. Uh oh, we have a “Home Alone” moment where clearly we’ve left Gia in the boutique, three blocks back. Ohhhh crap. That’s right, big OH CRAP.

So John is hobbled with his cast, he can’t run, I leave my sister and three boys, and the girls and I jog the three blocks back to the store (wearing my flip-flops and little black dress). And there in front of the store, is little Gia, big flower headband, little flower dress, standing with the nicest English family with two little girls. Apparently when she realized we’d “left her”, she told the shop keeper (who spoke very little English, but she was a super kind woman) that she “couldn’t find mommy and daddy” and the shopkeeper utilized the kindly English family in the store to help translate. Apparently she stayed rooted to where we last saw her (which I’ve drilled into them 100x’s) and she told the English gentleman that her daddy had a cast, so he was just about to go walk the street looking for a dumb American dad with a cast who might not have realized he lost his 8 year old kid.

So, truthfully, I had that moment of panic, but it wasn’t really that kind of panic where you really panic and your insides go cold. I knew Gia would be ok, and that she knew what to do, and I felt “pretty” confident she wouldn’t freak out. She did great, and although she started crying when she saw me, she managed to keep her cool the whole time prior to that which was good, and she was able to speak to the family, keep her calm, and although I fully expect her to be in therapy for it as an adult, she seems ok for now.

So, one kid lost and one kid found.

The high of Florence was finding this great “family friendly/family style” restaurant to eat lunch in (and it wasn’t even expensive).   The food was great, and I didn’t even break my wine glass until the very end, so that’s pretty cool.  We had a huge round table for 9, and it was a fun family moment.

What else…..We went to Verona (city of Romeo of Juliet), which was incredible. Once again, throngs of tourists (didn’t realize quite what a tourist destination this city of love was…Romeo and Juliet draw a lot of people I guess.) It’s a beautiful place though, and I’m so glad we saw it. I’m going back someday in October, I’ll like it even more. 

The next day it rained, and it’s been gloriously cool (probably still mid-80’s, but with the clouds it feels almost cold). Well, cold is a stretch, but at least I am not getting heat stroke by 9:30 a.m.. My sister left early afternoon, which was sad, and more sad, and more sad. It’s hard when you love to do something like she does (travel), and you are married to someone who doesn’t (and doesn’t fare well with it AT ALL), and I think overall, it’s just such a bummer.  It always makes you sad to see someone you love not get what they need/want.

The other low part of the rainy/cooler day is that I put on my boyfriend jeans for dinner at night…and let me tell you girlfriend, those boyfriend's were TIGHT (and not the kind of tight that feels perfect after they stretch out 20 mins later…the type of tight where you have to unbutton your top bottom during dinner just to finish your tuna nicoise salad.)  It’s not pretty. Ugh, seriously, there’s nothing worse than tight clothing, and I feel so puffy overall. I’ve been eating and drinking way too much of the Italian cool aid, and I’ve got to chill before I literally have to wear leggings home on the plane because nothing else fits.

John leaves tomorrow…another week in LA while we spend the time in Bologna, and then meet him in Agde, France.   I’m going to include this picture of the stealth grasshopper, because it’s positively freaky, and this guy was just hanging out on a cement post in the city. It’s like something from the prehistoric age.   He’s almost the exact color of the cement too so you’d miss him easily. I made John
put his finger up for perspective because it’s hard to really “get” how big he is. John’s doesn’t have freakishly small man-hands just so you know. They are normal…THAT’S how big this hopper is!

I’m also putting in this picture of a graffiti door. Why? Because if it’s one thing I still can’t get use to here, it’s the amazing amount of graffiti. It’s everywhere…literally. Not just in the “hood” either, literally everywhere. Including buildings that look like they could date back to the 15^th century…beautiful old wood doors, historic sites. It’s pretty incredible actually. I can’t figure out if the fines aren’t that big, they can’t catch people, they don’t care?? What’s the deal Italy? Bologna has a huge student population (although not now because it’s Summer), but normally the university here is 100k kids, but that’s not why the graffiti is everywhere because we’ve seen it in most of the Italian cities of any size.  Perplexing.

This here is Romeo's dog of the day....we named her "Peaches the Devil."  Peaches has the face of an angel but the ears of a devil.  She heard us coming.  We also considered calling her Pisa, because she's perpetually leaning like the leaning tower of Pisa.  

Signed, ME {lv}

Day 41: Parmesan Cheese, Raw Horse, and Trusting the Gyro

So, as you may have noticed, we’ve been gone forever. Well, not exactly forever, but 41 days. How can you travel so long one might ask? Don’t you have jobs? Yes in fact, we do. Mine, more portable for sure (and I work less), but John actually has a “real” job job…the kind where he has billables, has to supervise people, interact with clients. Essentially, work. So, he does two things, he goes back and forth to Los Angeles and works every other wek (he leaves again on Sunday), but he also has to work when he’s here (because he only took two weeks of actual vacation). So when he works here, it looks like this. During the day, it’s the middle of the night in the U.S., so we can do our trips, explore, and essentially have a normal day. He starts work around 6 p.m.’ish our time, so that’s 9 a.m. your time. He works until around 2:00 a.m. our time….that’s 4 p.m. your time. It’s not really a full day, but he’ll sneak an hour in somewhere else in the day. If he wakes up by 9:30, he still gets a pretty decent sleep, and then he can still have a pretty nice full day to do whatever. It’s like living a double life.

It takes a certain “regime” mindedness to get into it (because it’s easy to sleep in past 9:30), and hard to start work at 6. We have both been trying to get on the program. I don’t stay up as late as he does because I get up earlier with the two little kids, and I make them dinner (or otherwise find food to feed them) at night. Plus last night I took a break to go have wine with my sister between 9-11. Clearly I’m having a harder time getting on the regime than John.

So that’s how the day is structured for us. We woke up late (and by “we” I mean John and the older girls) and then we rallied, Whats App’ed my sister and crew, and drove to Parma which is about an hour and twenty minutes away. We read all kinds of things about it being a great city, the birthplace of parmesan cheese (and who doesn’t love parmesan cheese??), so we figured we must see it.

We drove and left separately from my sis, so we were on slightly different time schedules. As luck would have it we are walking into town though and we see them at a café having a glass of wine and trying to feed their kids. Hard to miss big groups of loud Americans in these smaller cities, we tend to stand out. We decided to not stop and eat with them quite yet, and check out the town a bit more before siesta closed it down.

It’s nice, it’s listed as the 4th most livable city in the world. Can’t remember where that came from (but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a crack pot publication). I can see why, there are bikers everywhere, and it looks like everyone is getting around easily, the center square is great, shopping is great (when you see a Khiel’s store, it’s always a good sign). It was a nice town. Surprisingly few parmesan cheese stores though, we thought they’d be pimping out that tourist angle more. Wasn’t expecting a big marble parmesan cheese statute in the square exactly…but somehow thought there would be something more…more…parmesan-y stuff.

We found a GREAT place for lunch, and waited 10 minutes in the scorching heat before being seated, but we knew it was going to be worth it because the menu looked awesome and ambiance was bustling and hip. The problem with that was that by the time we were actually seated people were damn hungry, a little heat stroked and things weren’t exactly smooth sailing. Our waiter spoke zero English, the menu was entirely in Italian and while it had the bones of traditional Italian, it was a little funkier than average and needed decoding.

I had a fantastic salad, Romeo had ravioli’s (Gia told him he’d hate the cheese inside so he said he wasn’t going to eat it before it even came but then ended up literally eating every last one), Lucia had salad and some pizza without cheese crispy thing, Ava “thought” she was ordering pasta with ham and parmesan, and we ordered prosecco and a prosciutto and parma plate. Gia initially said she wanted “nothing” , insert rebellious and snotty head turn, because there was “NO food” here she liked. She’s our kid that only eats about 6 things in life total.

The problems progressed. We called the waiter back because we saw on the daily specials menu that they had “pesto con cavallo”….AH, PESTO. If it’s one thing Gia will eat, it’s pesto and pasta. So the obvious next question was, what was cavallo. A big pasta? Little pasta? The funky weird shaped pasta? We asked the waiter and he said a bunch of things we didn’t understand, meanwhile I’m trying to open my google translate…and then I hear him say “raw” (which he pronouncing ‘roowwaahh” so it takes me awhile to even figure that out). Oh, ok…raw pesto…trying to figure out how exactly pesto could be raw? I’m envisioning big chunks maybe, less olive oil??….I’m all confused. Then I find my translate feature and type in cavallo. HORSE. We almost ordered pesto with RAW horse. Not just horse, but RAW horse. And for the low, low price of 8 euros. I didn’t even realize any country actually ate horse voluntarily??!!

Needless to say, we didn’t order that, but after a 5 minute back and forth hand gesturing, Italian-English fest, we got them to throw some pesto on some pasta for Gia. OK, problem one solved (which is that if Gia doesn’t eat, she turns into a monster and while I am a firm believer in natural repercussion of not eating and being hungry, the repercussions fall more on us when she turns into a monster, so I was trying to avoid that pain).

So then the food comes (before the prosecco, which is no good because we actually NEED that prosecco stat). We get half the food, and then they try and bring out a second prosciutto/parma plate, which is just basically loads of prosciutto folded neatly around a mound of parma chunks. We explain that no, no, we only ordered one, “you” made a mistake. Again, no English speakers and my three words of Italian aren’t helping. They take it away, and we wait another minute and when everyone’s comes except Ava’s we ask our waiter where her food was?? He looks confused, calls over another waiter, who tries to decode for us (her English is slightly expanded to maybe 10 words), and then next thing we know they are bringing the prosciutto/parma plate out again and putting in front of Ava.

Ava’s insisting over and over she ordered pasta. Everyone is getting frustrated…the waitress brings over the menu, and I tell Ava to point to what she ordered. She points to the anti-PASTA plate, “prosciutto and parma”.     Apparently she ignored seeing the “anti” in front of the word pasta, and assumed she was ordered pasta with prosciutto and parma. Oops.

We look like big idiots, they are nice and take away the other prosciutto plate once again, and Ava asks if she can just have the same as Gia (pesto pasta). We ask feverently for the prosecco so we can hopefully now enjoy our food, relax, and take the edge off.

The food is great, we move along ok….everyone eats but Gia who claims it’s still too hot, and then after we call her out on the fact that it’s NOT in fact hot anymore, she takes a few bites says she doesn’t like that type of pesto and she’s done. Within 60 seconds she’s asking to go get gelato. So we do what parents are suppose to do, “no, you have to eat lunch first….blah blah….” I mean, the dialogue goes on and on, I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice it to say, it was a time suck. Romeo went to eat some of Gia’s pesto, she got territorial (obstensibly because now she wanted to eat it so she could get gelato), John went to grab her plate to slide some onto Romeo’s plate, she grabbed it from John, and somehow in the process of all that, the balsamic vinegar bottle (large, we aren’t talking a 4 oz size unfortunately), flies off the table and onto the ground, which luck would have, is hard stone.

You know in the movies, or in books, when rooms go silent and they say “you could hear a pin drop”?….well, that was exactly what happened. The bottle shattered, balsamic everywhere, and the big, bustling, hipster restaurant that a minute ago was super loud and festive, goes dead silent….no joke, SILENT. What’s that I hear, a pin? Everyone is staring at us like our hair is on fire.

And that folks, was lunch.

We drove back from Parma later that afternoon, and spent an hour listening to Ava complain because we didn’t buy her “back to school clothes” at the store that her and Lucia spent an hour in while we met my sister and crew and had cappuccinos. Ava had picked out two pairs of shortie shorts, a white eyelet romper and I don’t even know what else because after I saw those I shut the operation down and told her we weren’t doing back to school shopping right then. I didn’t have the stamina for the arguments.

This wasn’t a bright spot for our kids today, they were little terrors (little and big actually), and it felt like a serious gift to get back to the apartment in Bologna, into the AC, and be done with the whole day of managing complaints. Some days I feel like that is 90% of what I’m doing with the kids…managing their complaints about food, about sweets, about what they do and don’t want to do, about buying things….the list goes on. It’s exhausting. Ungrateful little buggers is what I say.

I got another gyro for dinner, and I have to say, as I looked into that mystery combo of “stuff” in my wrap, I thought to myself, I almost ordered raw horse today….I have NO IDEA what is actually in this mystery gyro (and the place looks so authentic who knows what stuff they throw in there, they probably aren’t leaving out the questionable ingredients and Americanizing it for me). It’s so darn good though, I decided to just trust the gyro and not look too closely. I’m pretty sure there is no horse in it.

This is Beverly, Romeo's dog of the day.  Isn't she just the cutest?  Definitely a Beverly, and I think she might have been looking at Ava and Lucia's immodest clothing with a bit of disapproval.  

Signed, ME {lv}

Day 40: Italian Throwdown, Peaceful Lives and Sausage Skirts

We conquered Venice today. Well, not so much as conquered it, but at least we weren’t crushed and killed by it. We trained from Bologna, which was super easy (we’re a 10 minute walk from the train station).   We all made our way there, and it’s no big surprise,
Venice is amazingly beautiful, especially if you can avoid the touristy areas and meander down the little alleys and canals. It’s like a “secret garden”—but in old stone buildings and water. We made our way to San Marco square (stunning, but incredibly busy and filled with tourists and an irrational number of selfie sticks). Why does anyone think that is ok?

We took a gondola ride thru the back canals into the main canal and got a mini history lesson on some of the high points of the city. The homes and architecture along the water are unbelievable. It was lovely, despite having to watch Ava and Lucia do a photo shoot of themselves WHILE the amazing history lesson was going on. Do you think you might want to take a picture of something other than yourself? Nope. The only thing they were missing was a selfie stick. I hate to be harsh, but if you own a selfie stick, you should just get rid of it immediately, no excuses, just let it go.

What I really think is that Venice is like Florence, too beautiful for words, and you have to find a way to see it without the mobs of tourists (and 95 degree weather). John and I talked to the gondola driver and he said the best time to come was October/early November….it’s cool, no tourists, maybe not sunny but what I wouldn’t give to wander those streets in quiet, with fog rising from the canals, a stillness to the air….it would be amazing. There are some darn romantic looking hotels hidden away in there too, I think you could tuck yourself in there for a week and be completely blissful. When I asked our driver if he grew up in Venice he said yes (he looked to be maybe 40 years old), and said every day he was out on his gondola on the water, and it was a “very peaceful life” and I thought to myself, wow, can you ask for more?

The train ride back. Well, let’s just say, not so smooth. First off, my expectations weren’t very high, so the fact that we didn’t come close to reaching them is not good. We have 6 kids, 2 of them are 5 years and then a 3 year old, and an 8 year old….and given the right circumstances Ava and Lucia can lower their behavior to about a 5 year old too, so it wasn’t pretty. It had been a long day, we got to Venice after a two hour train ride, at 10:20 a.m., we left at 6:42 pm. We walked a total of 7 miles….it was hot, it had been awhile since lunch and the snacks of pizza, breadsticks and squishy apricots just didn’t do it for everyone. Way too much refined sugar had been consumed throughout the day. It was poised for a throwdown.

My sister, her husband, and 4 or 5 of the kids (hard to tell because they were moving around so much) were in the two blocks of 4 seats just in front of John and I, so the two of us were talking and sort of checked out to be honest (in only the way parents of 4 kids can be…you just don’t hear the noise anymore). Yes, the kids were loud for sure, but there was no crying (of great length), or blood curdling screams of actual pain (screams yes, but not of pain). It was the last 45 mins of the trip, and there were a handful of other passengers in the car, most of them with earphones on (lucky bastards). There was one person who was not so lucky. He was an older gentleman, maybe 65, white hair, big Italian belly, imposing figure….he got up, marched over to the double block of crazy-town in front of John and I, and started going off in Italian….he did NOT sound happy, and it was NOT a short rant. Finger wagging.  I was wondering at what point he’d clue in that we were obviously oblivious to loud noises, so the fact that he was yelling didn’t matter, and we clearly didn’t speak Italian….so, what exactly was he accomplishing after minute 5?? I think he needed to vent.  He got a lot of blank stares and I'm pretty sure that just fueled the fire.

As he wrapped it up and stormed off to his seat, my sister said “he just said, ‘shut the hell up’ in Italian” (except she used a more choice word than hell).   I turned to her and said, "no one calls my animals, animals, it's on."  We thought there might actually be an Italian throw down right then and there. We decided we should pitch the whole idea to a reality t.v. mogul. It would be like Naked and Afraid (which I’ve happily never seen), but instead we’d call it “Trapped in a Train”….with the tag line, “6 kids, 2^nd class seats, one mad Italian, one kid eating boogers….anything could happen”… and of course they’d have to play the music from Law & Order. Dun dun…dun, dun, dun, dunnnnnnn….. Can you imagine? AC could go out, we could run out of snacks, someone could barf…you’d never know what might happen on the “Trapped on a Train--Second Class Train Ride from Hell”—it would be riveting. An entire episode could be on navigating the kids to the bathroom (think airplane bathroom, but 10x smaller, and 100x dirtier). There are endless possibilities.

We laughed the entire way home, except when we were “shooshing” the kids (had to put on a good show, but let’s face it, it made no difference, we were too far down the rabbit hole). We felt lucky that Bryan (my sister’s husband, you can see him on the left) didn’t kick it up another notch. He’s a hot head and we knew that if angry Italian guy came back over, he’d go off on him in retaliation and we’d likely end up with an Italian jail cell situation. So really, we were pretty lucky all around.  Take a look at him, if that isn't a guy about to blow...sunglasses on, tight jaw, ready to spring into action... it's about to get real up in here.....

I think we’ll make millions on our show idea.  I might as well retire now.

We managed to exit the train reasonably intact, and there you have it, another day, another near miss. I snapped this picture on the way home, which is positively creepy, but since it involves a very unique outfit, I thought I would post it for you. If you can't quite tell what it is, it's a "big eye" looking girl, with a ballgown made of meat...sausage, ham, meats overall...it's gross.   Be happy that’s not the latest trend.  It was just on a wall somewhere, peeling off, but still offending eyeballs.

Romeo's dog of the day....this gorgeous black lab with kind eyes.  He just looked like home to us (not sure why because we don't have a black lab), but America seems like a good name for him because you don't see many labs in Italy so he seemed out of place here.

Signed, ME {lv}

Day 25-39: Heaven & Hell, Ghosting, and AC

I went ghost as they say. MIA. Off radar.  No longer on the grid. So here’s the fast recap (or fast for me). We had loads of guests, did loads of shopping, eating, cooking, applying of mosquito repellent and because that never seemed to work, loads of mosquito cortisone cream. We saw some amazing little countryside medieval towns, we kept going back to Orvieto again and again (and I would go there again but for the fact it’s so far away now).   I nearly killed John at one point (and that point was several days long), literally (suffice it to say, the entire situation was ripe for a marital blow up…broken foot, no alone time, 4 kids, guests to entertain and focus on, heat and mosquitos.) I’m surprised we’re still married.

Highlight of towns… Civita di Bagnoregio, this amazing little town on a mountain that is literally crumbling, and within 500 years apparently the entire thing won’t exist. When I told Lucia that she said, “So, I won’t be alive in 500 years.” True.  Another highlight, pottery class in Montepulciano....girls loved it and made some great pieces with a really sweet instructor.     

My sister showed up after the second week in Umbria, with her husband and two kids (ages 5 and 3), and shortly thereafter Mady and Maxen left…and we’ve been a party of 10 ever since (John went back to LA for a week, but just returned yesterday).     That whole week was a blur, and not necessarily a nice blur, there were some real tough bits.…I’ll just say that my sister’s husband did not have an easy entry into the country (and I don’t mean he was stopped by immigration and aggressively patted down or given a full cavity search, I mean the guy isn’t big on traveling and it’s stressful, and stress brings out the worst in people).

Anyway, the bright spot is that we are now in Bologna and so far, it’s going swell. I was nervous because our friend Brian had gone thru Bologna on his way out of Italy and he wasn’t there that long but he didn’t sound enthused about it and when we texted him from Umbria asking if he liked it, he diplomatically said something about ‘not seeing a lot but what he saw was industrial’ and his concern about ‘spending two full weeks’ and feeling bored. It of course freaked me out because at that point my brain was so fried from heat and bug repellent that I couldn’t remember why we picked Bologna in the first place and I second guessed myself for days.

BUT…turns out Bologna is AWESOME…an amazing city, I love it, two weeks won’t even be long enough, and coming here was like Heaven (not that Umbria was Hell exactly, but there were enough hellish moments toward the end to equate it just a bit).

We are right near Piazza Maggiore which is in the center of the old medieval part of the town. This city rose after the Dark Ages around 1100, and was one of the most thriving cities in Europe (the home of the first university in all of Europe). The history of this place is incredible. It doesn’t have the splash of Florence with all the statutes and ornate architecture, it’s more subtle, but amazing, and much, much less touristy. It’s a university town, so there is a young vibe to it, the restaurants are hip, full of people drinking carafes 
 of wine for 3 euros, with music and tiny Italian bites (the equivalent of what looks to be a tapas). It’s a wealthy city, and the stores are cosmopolitan, the shopping great. Food…great. Shopping…great (warrants a double mention). Heat, not so great…it’ll be 95 tomorrow and that’s just too hot to live, but other than the heat, I’m in love. Our apartment is spacious (4 bedrooms, and we’re staying separate from my sis and family so we can spread out), with AC (now that's a piece of heaven right there) we can create a frigid environment to return to after the heat gets to us. We’ve done nothing these past two days but wander around the city, it’s been fantastic.

The girls love it because they, armed with phones and a set of apartment keys, can get their freedom and walk around, checking back in regularly.  

Another HUGE plus....there is food diversity.  I just about knelt down in front of the Mediterranean food window kiosk and kiss the ground when I ordered a falafel wrap.  I had three of those things within the first 48 hours.  There's Chinese food, Mediterranean....apparently Mexican (although we haven't found the restaurant yet).  It's amazing!  We are so lucky in the U.S. to have such a diversity of culture and those cultures all bring their food to the table.  Holy falafel, that's all I will say...that thing was good.

I’ve never traveled with my sister and her family before, so we are finding our groove…traveling with other people is a tricky thing, and we do it a lot with the same groups of friends, so much so that I have now taken for granted the ease of traveling with them.  Traveling doesn’t bring out the best in everyone, because it’s definitely messy, and unpredictable. My sister and I have laughed a lot though, and it’s been great to share the experience with her.

Tomorrow we train to Venice, at least it will be cooler there (high of 85 I think I read)!

Signed, ME {lv}

Day 24: Ladybugs, 12, and Nigeria

We are a party of 12 right now. My friend Lani, Bryan and their two girls 11 and 13 (his step kids, her kids), and my friend Mady, and her son who is 13. If you bother to add up the number, it’s a staggering party of 12. Three cars, three groups, 7 kids. You can only imagine….

Today we hit Montepulciano and Siena. Moving around with a group this big can be annoying from the start. I prefer to NOT caravan places. Number one, I need to focus entirely on driving and not who is potentially following me or who I’m trying to follow. Too much work. Someone misses a turn, or is slow….you can see the problem. So I took off solo with 3 kids. My friend Mady has John in the car with her (she’s still intimidated with the Italian drivers and wants a personal google maps assistant), and then two kids, and Lani and Bryan took 2 kids. We all met in Montepulicano.

It’s an adorable hilltop town, great little shops, incredible view. LOVED. We had a fantastic long lunch, with delicious salads (Sasha found a ladybug in hers which was fresh and maybe good luck??), lots of white wine, pizza and of course pasta. We strolled around, did some shopping, John found a man-bag (where else can you find a cool man bag but in Italy?) About ½ the day was smooth sailing.  The girls went to church and did some candle lighting (all of them were fairly indecent in their apparel choices...for church, and probably almost anywhere else too).  

We then all separately grabbed our cars and kids, same layout as before, and headed to Siena.

Now I know Siena gets big thumbs up from Rick Steves, and almost every travel book out there. It’s on the “have to see list” of Tuscan towns. Personally, other than the church which was beautiful (and I really wish I had the patience to wait in line for tickets to see in the inside), I could have almost skipped it entirely (except curiousity would have prevented me). It’s VERY touristy, and bustling, and touristy (warrants saying twice). Yes, the big piazza is really pretty (and we just missed the huge horse race they hold in it early July), but I still don’t get why Rick Steves said it was the prettiest piazza in all of Italy. I haven’t seen all of them, but I guess I’m skeptical. It was really hot today, and that thing is like a fish bowl….of heat, tourists, sub-par Italian restaurants (that are overpriced), and to me, that takes away a lot of the ambiance.

We tried hard to find a restaurant that would warrant staying in the later twilight/night hours because everyone says it’s gorgeous at night, but we never found a place, the ones that look possible were packed and there was no room for our big ass party, and everyone was hot, tired, and ready to call it quits at about 5….we pushed it until 6:30 looking for some place to sit and relax/eat….but finally gave up and the kids all grabbed a slice of 1.50 euro pizza on the way out. (think Dominoes, but in Italy).

So, here is my summary. First half, fantastic day…great lunch. Second half, too hot, too touristy, and too hard.

When we finally called it quits everyone was a little grouchy, tired, and definitely “done”. Mind you, we are 12 people….that’s a lot of grouchy energy. As we divided up to go back to our cars I offered to take my kids and go find John (who had wandered down a street to go find Gia a sausage to eat---really, I’m not joking…apparently she couldn’t get enough in Germany). Mady felt like she needed John to navigate her home though because her phone was almost dead and she wasn’t sure she could do it alone without his help directing her out of the city, so she wanted to take him instead of us taking him.

So I said fine, wait for John, I’ll take my kiddos and start heading home. We trekked back to our parking spot (which was way down the hill, required the use of Google maps,  and down 5 super steep escalators). As we were walking Ava said, “I don’t know why she needed daddy’s help, I’m always going to know where and how to get around…you could drop me in Nigeria and I would be able to find my way home.” Lucia was nodding in the background.  (insert annoying teen eye rolls and bravado).

But I’ll tell you, that statement made my day. Despite being exhausted, hot, hungry, tired of trying to navigate a large group, I had a moment of clarity about why we are doing this in the first place. We continually travel in this manner, with big groups, with our friends and family, to all kinds of interesting places…not because it’s easy, always fun, or even relaxing, but because it’s stimulating, a challenge, fantastic, and above all, teaches our kids something that is really hard to learn in other ways.   All the frustrating times I’ve poured over maps, google, gps, and street signs, all the times I’ve turned us in circles and got us lost and back on track, and been frustrated and worked thru it (wanting to cry and sometimes actually crying)….I think all those individual little times have sunk in a little with the kids (hopefully), and maybe, just maybe, makes them feel like they could tackle it too and not "need" someone else to figure it out for them.  

It’s scary to travel sometimes, it’s overwhelming, uncomfortable, totally freaks you out at moments. Even figuring out how to pay your parking tab at the Italian kiosk can suck. BUT…when you do those things with kids repeatedly, the hope is that they learn a certain ease with it, and they learn to adjust to the uncomfortable feeling, work thru it, and not be overwhelmed by it (at least to the degree that they don’t do it themselves). Mady was totally justified in feeling overwhelmed driving around Italy, it’s not easy in the least, and I don’t blame her for wanting John’s help at all. She’s adventuresome and has come with us on lots of crazy adventures (at her own peril because sometimes it’s just insanely stressful). So if you are reading this Mady, and were previously thinking "suck it Lauren", just know I admire you immensely and you are now officially a pro Italian driver.  

What makes me happy though is that Ava recognized that she didn’t WANT to feel that way (i.e. that she couldn’t do something easily herself), and that she determined to NOT feel that way, and at the very least, that makes me feel like she has learned something that will empower her for her lifetime. Some of it is probably just her personality, but I think all the kids are learning it whether they realize it or not.  

So that was our fun filled day, and I love that we spent it with so many people we love and it didn’t have to be perfect, or easy…that it had moments of perfect, and moments of absolute frustration.  I thought I would include this picture of Maxen and Ava because....well,
you know what a teen wants to do after a long day of sight seeing in towns a gazillion years old with parents focused on wine tasting and trying not to sweat too much?  Get on their phones, that's what.  Notice Ava's hair twirl.  

Romeo’s dog of the day was this glorious stallion of a guy….he’s definitely got to be named Antonio, don’t you think? 

Signed, ME {lv}

Day 23: Naked Dogs, Naked Men, And Gluten Free Heaven

I think I started my gluten free “tester” about 5 or 6 weeks before we left for Italy, just to see if I felt better. I have Hashimoto’s which is a thyroid autoimmune disease, and now I’m chronically hypo-thyroid, and take a daily pill to correct it. Links between gluten and hashimoto are pretty strong, sadly enough. SO, the upshot of that is that even though I decided to forgo the gluten free dealio while traveling, I have realized that I really don’t feel as good, and I have much more intermittent fatigue (the intense kind) AND I feel a little less emotionally stable (and I know this sounds maybe impossible, but I swear it’s true). So despite gorging on gluten the last 3 weeks, I decided I needed to reign it back a couple of days ago. You’ll see how this is important (only to me) in a second.

SO…today we went to Florence by train. Me, John, and 6 kiddos. Four of the kids only wanted to go because of two things. One, their mother ship was located there…a Brandy Melville store (you will only recognize the name if you have a young teen girl). Two, they have the best gelato in the world (apparently). I wanted to see the amazing buildings and art (no chance of actual museum going, but still the potential to see a lot of cool stuff).   Florence is incredible. If there weren’t so many tourists it would be even more incredible, but it still was awe inspiring. The shopping is awe inspiring too, and I didn’t get to do nearly enough.

The kids all had salami and cheese Panini sandwiches on the square, but I restrained from the gluten (not easy because I was starving). There are shops like this one to the left everywhere, with all kinds of delicious Italian foodie things.  We continued to stroll and then the heavens opened up for me in the way of an entire, ENTIRE shop, nestled in among the Florence eateries, of GLUTEN FREE STUFF. It was incredible. I walked in and nearly cried. Focaccia, croissants, focaccia sandwiches with prosciutto and tomatoes, cookies, pastries, pasta, gnocchi….the list went on. I can’t even tell you how good it was. I ate my focaccia sandwiches and had to stop to say “oh my god this is amazing” at least 10 times. Then I scarfed down this apricot pastry, and first off you’d swear it wasn’t gluten free, AND it was delicious. I want to stay in Florence, master their tricks of the gluten-free trade, and come back to America and make a million dollars. It was THAT good.

OK, gluten free rant over. Believe me, for all of you who are rolling your eyes and just saying “eat some gluten you pyscho”, I totally feel you….I feel that way AND some. I’m annoyed just saying I’m gluten free, but what can I do, I legitimately feel better when I cut it out. Annoying.

I also want to state, there were a LOT of naked men statutes in Florence. Obviously the David statute is housed there, so it’s inspired a
 lot of penis postcards (they like to dress up the penis with glasses and a fake mustache, and put a quote next to it), but besides David there are tons of naked men statues in the square. As my friend said, “I’ve seen enough scrotum for one day.” That statement makes it sound less beautiful than it was.

Romeo shopped the kiosks of crap (every one of these more touristy towns has them…the kiosk in the square that sells snow globes, postcards, and various assorted random crap—all made in China). It’s Romeo’s favorite place to part with his money. Today he bought a snow globe, which he calls a “snowflake” and it’s also his “treasure” so you have to listen to him tell you many times to be very careful with it.

This naked, and very hideous dog, was his dog of the day. I don’t know why, but he looks like a Felix to me. The weird part, we saw TWO hairless dogs today. TWO. What are the odds?? Maybe it’s a Florence thing.

Update on Crazy Eyes, I raised a stink with our landlord and I think we got Crazy Eyes deported (at least to his indoor kennel). Looking forward to sleeping regularly.

Signed, ME {lv}

Day 21 & 22: Gelato Detox, Caesar, and Chocolate

There’s officially only SO much gelato you can eat. I wouldn’t have thought this to be the case to be honest, except I hit my wall and now I know, there is indeed a limit. Mine came the night of day 21, when I attempted my second cone of super rich caramel (my first being after lunch, second being after dinner). Not good… it was one caramel too many. I think I might have, without even intending it, saved myself from gaining an extra 20 pounds because there is no telling when I can venture to gelato land again.

But I’ll back up, I digress only because it’s almost 6 p.m. on day 22^nd and I’ve had NO gelato today AT ALL. It’s insane and warrants a moment of silence.

Yesterday was Orvieto, which is a beautiful medieval town, conquered once by Julius Caesar, which pretty much says it all. First, that it’s really, really old. And second, that Julius was a genius because the city is set at the very top of this very imposing cliff, and it’s literally on the ledge, totally protected and theoretically really hard to conquer. Kudos Julius, kudos.

The Duomo (that’s an Italian cathedral church to everyone not up on Italian lingo) is A-MAZ-ING…one of my favorites of all time. They started building it in 1290---do you get that people? 1290!! Holy crappo, that’s old. It took nearly 300 years to fully complete. The shopping is amazing, the restaurants are, well, pretty darn good although I quickly had two glasses of wine and I’m pretty sure pizza can’t taste too bad in Italy after you gulp two glasses of wine.

The kids complained NON-stop about having to be forced to walk yet another small town. You would think that strolling thru these incredibly beautiful towns, with history, beauty, local crafts, quaintness galore, would excite the kids right? We have two 13 year olds, and two 11 year olds in tow right now in addition to the 8 and 5 year old and I can safely say, they are NOT intrigued, and they are NOT enticed…and we are officially overwhelmed by their attitude.

We managed to starve them for long enough to get them into the town first on the pretense of eating, and then they walked as far as the gelato store down from the restaurant to get gelato of course. AND THEN…as the Gods were looking out for us, there was a bathing suit shop just down from the gelato place and it managed to thereafter entertain the kids for at least another hour. If it’s one thing tweens need (and we know it’s not antiquity or culture), it’s more bathing suits!!

We had a great long and late lunch with our friends, drinking wine and talking while the kids created havoc in shops that we couldn’t see so we didn’t feel responsible to intervene, and then we made our way back home.  Romeo and Gia strolled up and down the street by our restaurant feeling empowered and like "big kids".

One of the things that keeps tripping me up here is the long, “siesta” in the afternoon. It’s pretty aggressive…most places seem to close around 1:30-2:00 and then don’t open again until after 4:30…and a dinner place might not open until 7:00 or 7:30...it's dead until 8pm. This proves a little tricky for a schedule where two younger ones like Gia and Romeo wake up at 6 a.m. no matter what, which means they really need to go to bed by 8 pm, no matter what.  We keep getting stuck in tiny towns during the siesta (and I don’t know what the actual Italian phrase is for it), and then everything is closed.   Even in Orvieto, which is much more touristy, there were many stores that were closed in the mid-afternoon. The key is to get out early in the morning, be where you want to be mid-morning, and then start your lunch at around 1:30…then hang out in the restaurant for two plus hours. For Italians, any meal is a 3 hour endeavor or why bother?

Day 22….we are officially solo with 6 kids. Our friends took off early this morning (dad and girlfriend), leaving two kids (to be picked up in two days by their mom and her boyfriend).   The biggest problem is that John can’t drive, and my car officially only fits 7 people. SO, I took the kids solo today, to the Casa Del Cioccolato Perugina in Perugia….the home of Baci balls (the infamous Italian chocolate). The company has been in Perugia since I think 1921, and later in the 60’s was invested in, or acquired by, or some variation of, Nestle chocolate, and this particular factory does all the exporting for Europe of Perugina and Nestle. Baci means kiss which I learned today, AND I learned that an actual coco bean in it’s original state is huge---for some reason I envisioned them always as the size as coffee beans but really they are the size of a forearm to the wrist, and grow out of trees.

The tour was entertaining, if only because the kids got their fill of chocolate tasting. No one seemed to mind that they were stuffing them into their purses for later like old ladies at a buffet.  They refused to go to “another small town” but when I offered up a chocolate factory tour, they were on board. Although I’m pretty sure they thought they were going to go on a Willy Wonka-esq tour complete with edible candy garden. I drove them back after getting French fries at….drumroll please….McDonalds. Yes, it’s true. Horrible, I know.   I figured I needed a break after surviving an hour of max volume music all the way there, and what I knew would be max volume music all the way back. I need earplugs for the car because if I have to listen to Selena Gomez sing “Kill ‘em with Kindness” I’m just going to kill ‘em, and not with kindness.

Romeo’s dog of the day is this little thing. I’m going to name him FOR Romeo, and I’m going to call him Crazy Eyes (Orange is the New Black reference here), because you see that crazy look in his eye?.... it’s sleep deprivation, his and mine.

He literally barks ALL night long and he’s lucky I haven’t woken up and drop kicked him in a sleep induced zombie move. Seriously, it was so bad last night I had to email the owner of the house and ask her to please, please, PLEASE talk to the neighbors and tell them to shut their dog up pronto. So far, it's quiet and I hope for Crazy Eye's health it stays that way!

Signed, ME {lv}