We'd like to take a minute and say we love you. One thing that has come out of this shocking national event is a wave of love. People are letting down their usual guard and reaching out with kindness, compassion, tenderness and love - to friends and family of course, but also to coworkers, the mail man, and strangers on the street. It's a lovely silver lining, and I think it's teaching us all something about connection, and respect. We all suffer the same way. We all feel fear, insecurity, despair, and grief. We also all love the same way, we just don't show it enough. In the pre-election days humanity had the luxury of being a little bit snarky all the time, airily dismissive and pretty competitive in every arena, from driving to shopping at the store, from walking down the street to waiting in line at the theater. At least in Portland. But now...daily priorities have suddenly changed. Whether it's fear or shock, or a desire to only radiate love in the face of stress and uncertainty - people are quieter. A little more cautious. They aren't trying to get in front of me, pass me, cut me off, or even make a lot of noise. Our noisy street has been very quiet these last three days, except for some frighteningly loud motorcycles that roar down every now and then - I think they must be celebrating. :( But everyone else...is wanting to be comforted.
I had my own moment of stranger grace yesterday when I went to the bank. I was feeling a little bristly because I had just been at Freddy's and was leaving with my groceries, passing a lone cashier - a very young man - who stonily ignored me even though we were the only two people on the floor and within six feet of each other. He made a point to stare ahead, not acknowledging me in any way. I know he knew I was looking at him, smiling a little, ready to say "have a good day", but he refused to look at me. This really upset me for some reason, and I said nicely, and not in an irritating way, "Have a good day!" He still said nothing! I was so offended! I tried once more, saying - still sweetly, and genuinely - "goodbye!" And he STILL wouldn't look at me, but he did grunt. I was completely blown away. Who acts like that to a customer - at their job? What kind of customer service is that?! Incredible! I did not know what to think, I just felt completely disrespected - it was disorienting for a minute. For a moment I was so mad I felt like complaining and getting his rotten little a** fired - but then I calmed myself. He's like what, 22? I'm a 50 year old woman with a lot of experience, and I really need to rise above. He is a child, with no skills in life, and should be pitied, and wished the best for. So that's what I did. I shook it off, wished him as well as I could in my mind, and got in the car to go to the bank.
So I get to the bank, and I feel better, but still a little rattled, and another car pulls up near the drive-through. We both stop - they thought it was probably my right of way, which it actually probably was. But I felt like being nice. I felt like spreading some love around. So I motioned to say, "would you like to go first?" And surprised but happy, they waved thanks and went. I waited behind them, enjoying the classical music on the radio and trying to feel centered and calm, and then...when they were done and beginning to drive away - they waved goodbye. And I waved goodbye back! And I think we both felt the same thing - gratitude for kindness, and a desire to wish a stranger well. I felt so wonderful - it was such a small thing, but in that moment that wave goodbye was everything.
An example of how even a tiny bit of kindness can heal in the moment...can really make a difference in everyone's day. So I just wanted to put that out there. We can all create ripples of kindness and respect. Instead of always rushing forward, trying to out-fox, out-run, and out-drive all the people around you - try slowing down a little. Just back off the gas. Let them pass, with a smile. It generates instant gratitude, and it feels so good. And who knows? It's likely they will be inspired to do the same for someone else. It's one way we can immediately change the world around us.
So in that vein, here is a beautiful quote our own Amanda shared with us this morning.
Love to all of you!!!!! You are wonderful!!!!! xoxoxoxo DR
"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny."
-- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
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