I’ll start out with the important stuff. Our gardener is really, REALLY good looking. Seriously. Every week he arrives with his crew at 8 a.m. on Friday and every week I walk out of the house looking like a hobo, and then I remember that cute gardener is there and I WISH I had remembered 30 mins prior so I could have swiped on some blush and tamed my frizz. This morning I had to engage in a 15 minute discussion on driveway algae and was forced to look into his ridiculous cuteness, and I felt like a total troll…a tired troll. It was not the best way to start the day. Next week I’m going to look better on Friday morning, I’m putting it on my calendar.
Second, on our way to drop the kids off Lucia asked me what was for dinner and because I’m totally committed to my new meal planning I could actually TELL her exactly what was for dinner…Shredded BBQ chicken sandwiches and zucchini slaw. Boom. To make me feel even better Lucia said, “I like knowing what we are going to have for dinner.” My heart warmed. “Really? That’s awesome!!!” Lucia: “Yeah, if you plan dinners there is less chance of having something like quesadillas and red peppers and then you find out the peppers are moldy and we just have quesadillas.” Hhhhhhhmmm, well, she had a point there.
Today I’m most disturbed by my conversation with Ava & Lucia in the car, where Ava off handedly told Lucia something about having a long “to be honest” on her Snapchat story. Honestly, you would think they were speaking Chinese, I understood nothing. Snapchat story? A long honest? Then I tried to ask WHAT that meant, and they basically rolled their eyes and refused to lower their explanation down to the level I would need to understand. I wanted to kick them both out of the car and make them walk home, but I dug deep and promptly came home and Googled what a “to be honest” was. I am still not entirely sure what it is, except it sounds like a segway for people to flirt on Instagram via their “stories”. Either flirt, or level you to the ground with an insult that is preceded by a loaded “to be honest…..” Only a kid would actually open themselves up to honestly like that. To be honest? To be honest I really don’t want anyone’s unprofessional opinion on how I look or act because it’s likely to hurt my feelings. Ugh.
In my Google research I came across a list of the “Instagram lingo” . Wow. That’s all I can say. It’s a tough world for our teens these days (and all those coming up thru the younger years right now and soon to join the ranks…it’s only getting harder). I know middle school and high school were hard enough back in the day without someone being able to blast half the school in 5 seconds with a handful of words that just sound weird, “butter face ur ratchet”. I know RAD and LAME weren’t all that great, but I’d take them any day over any of the weird acronym list you'll find below. There was a real benefit to the rumor mill that actually required physically calling someone on a phone, passing notes, meeting at a locker, or driving to their house…it slowed the whole thing down considerably. Now it’s lightening quick. The whole scene to be honest depresses me, and the sad thing is that you really can’t sever your kid from it because it’s so completely ingratiated into all social scenes. There’s no escaping it. We limit it, but it’s like a lifeline to them…take it away and they feel on the “outs”, they feel excluded, nervous and lonely. All bad things to feel. Being called a “butterface” might be bad, but to not know what is going on and what “might be” happening behind your back is potentially even more stressful. Oh crap is all I can say right now.
On a positive note, I’m still sugar free, and feeling good. I’m blowing my own mind with that one. I stuck to my exercise schedule this week. I will likely NOT reach my dog walking goals though…Milo nearly dragged me behind him horizontally today. He saw a squirrel and went berserk and since there are only a few pounds separating our weight, I really can’t hold him back. I seriously can’t walk him until I sign up for some dog lessons—he’s out of control and it’s too stressful (not to mention dangerous). I’m going to have to revamp that resolution.
Peace out friends, stay strong this weekend and don’t attack any chocolates.
Signed, ME {lv}
JBH = Just Being Honest
LBH = Let’s Be Honest or Loser Back Home
TBBH = To Be Brutally Honest
SMEXI = Smart and Sexy
IMO = In My Opinion
GOMB = Get Off My Back
KOTL = Kiss On The Lips
KOS = Kill On Sight. This is a term that originated with online war games such as World of Warcraft. It means basically marked for death just by showing your face. However, it can also be used as a threat by a cyber bully.
S&D = Search and Destroy (also could be a threat)
Ug = Ugly
CID = Acid (as in, the drug)
WAW = What a Waste
CNBU = Can Not Be Unseen
Gomer = Geek, weirdo, nerd
Ratchet = Ugly, nasty, awful
Broken = Hungover from alcohol
Beep face = A general insult
Butter face = A named describing a person with an alleged pretty body but ugly face
420 = This means marijuana (also look for words like 420 4life, boo, blunt, and buddha)
ASLP – Age, Sex, Location, Picture (if someone is asking this to your child, dig deeper)
FYEO = For Your Eyes Only
CD9 = Code 9; parents around POS = Parents Over Shoulder
FUBAR = ****** Up Beyond All Recognition (inebriated or stoned)
Sugarpic = Suggestive or erotic photo
53x = Sex
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