Whooo - sorry about the delay in posting, this last week has been a whirlwind, a dust devil, a veritable water-spout of activity and developments. I have hardly had a moment to rest let alone write. But now - it's 3:41 am on a Monday morning which might seem like the worst time of day ever to some - perhaps the actual worst time of day of the whole week, lol - but to me, it is the perfect time.
Menopausal insomnia isn't all bad. A whole heck of a lot of it is, but some it it isn't. I've always been a morning person - albeit not a 1:30 am kind of morning person - so having to make this bizarre shift isn't quite as hard for me as it might be for others. I love the quiet. I thrive in it. And living on one of the busiest streets in SE Portland means it is almost never quiet. So 1:30 am - well, it isn't always quiet either. There are no less than four bars right down the street, so the action is pretty constant round the clock, and there is a lovely little 2:30 am rush hour every night of the week, but right now at 3:42 am on a Monday morning it is quiet, and now is when I can find the mental and emotional space necessary to write.
So - October has been a dream month for me. You all have probably followed me a bit on this blog - read about my serious back issues and debilitation - my hot flashes and migraines - and my determination to survive it, because I'm telling you this menopause thing can make you think and feel like you won't. Well - this week I finally have some truly good news - on 2 fronts.
First, and by far the most glamorous is - my novel Bridge of the Gods has won a Silver Moonbeam Award for Children's Fiction in the Pre-Teen Fantasy category! OMG! So unexpected, so beyond my wildest, I entered on a hope and a prayer and I could hardly believe it when I was told. It's still sinking in, and every time I think of it I just want to cry with happiness. It must be like what it feels to win an Oscar or something, I am just totally shocked and deeply thrilled. It's a life-long dream since I was a little girl reading middle grade novels to write one myself, and have it be well-received. That little girl is jumping for joy!
The other amazing news - and knock on wood here because it's still early days but I have to share because I am so excited - my back feels good. Not perfect, but goooood. My hips don't hurt, my legs don't hurt, my feet don't hurt. I'm limping less, I have backed of the medication a little, my energy is up, my mood is up, I'm able to do more - it's incredible. I don't know exactly what is responsible but I have a suspicion. It could very well be a new supplement I started taking only four days ago. It's an IODINE supplement called Detoxidine.
Could this be what I've been lacking all these years? Could it be as simple as an iodine deficiency? It kind of makes sense. As a vegan who doesn't eat bread or much salt, where would I get it from? It is found in animal products and bread, and iodized salt.
For the past 13 years I have suffered enormously from back pain. I have had four or five incidents where my sacro illiac joint spazmed and sprained, resulting in total debilitation for months and years. Bed-ridden, unable to move, in the worst pain of my life including childbirth with no anesthetic, I was also deeply depressed. I can't tell you the fire I have walked through because of this condiiton, it has totally changed my adult life from one of total action (I ran five miles a day, I played in a band, I walked the dog all over town every day, I worked full time, I made art, I gardened) to one of nothing. Of being in bed almost 24 hours a day, walking short distances with a cane, not being able to sit at all - not being able to drive anywhere or travel anywhere at all - I couldn't even draw because I would have to do it lying down and the pad was too heavy to hold. I still can't lift anything heavier than my wallet. It's a life-altering situation, and worse - nobody knows why, or what to do.
Of course I've tried everything. I've desperately sought the answer for 13 years from a myriad of doctors, specialists, chiropractors, naturopaths, acupuncturists, rolfers and shiatsu masters. I've had injections, 3 MRI's (totally clean, all of them) x-rays, all the medication, all the ice packs, all the PT, all the orthotics, the back belts, everything. No improvement, if anything it just gets worse.
As a vegan for so long I found out a few years ago about how important vitamin B-12 is, and how I hadn't been getting that for a decade either, as it's found in animal products. So I started taking that, and noticed a small improvement. I also tried some bio-identical hormones thinking the joint pain might be menopause-related, but that didn't work. A week or so ago I again googled "severe joint pain" and found a link to a discussion about iodine deficiency and how it can cause joint pain, and gout, and other symptoms like low energy, poor eyesight, thinning hair, dry skin, weight gain, and other things - also symptoms associated with menopause, and which I have. The reviews were astounding. Rave reviews from all kinds of people in their 50's and 60's who have seen tremendous improvements in their health almost immediately upon taking Detoxidine. I ordered it. 
I think it's working. No joke. I felt it the second it hit my tongue. Not the improvement, but the buzz of the iodine immediately hit me. They say you should start with two drops, three at most to see how you feel. Evidently the effect is like drinking a lot of coffee - and they are right. I am taking three drops in the morning and I am buzzed for a long time after. You can work your dose up - I think the highest dose people take is ten drops a day - and people say their hair grows thicker, their eyesight improves, their libido increases, the "weight melts off", energy soaring, pain gone, mobility improved - and I actually think they may be on to something! I feel amazing! Yesterday I was just flying! I didn't take any heavy medication, I was able to go shopping and lay down with no pain, only the usual discomfort which was reduced. I feel a new stability. Oh - and yesterday I was able to play my bass guitar! I couldn't stand holding it for long, but I rested part of it on the bed and I played it for a long time! First time in years.
So - I woke up this morning feeling good too, not perfect because yesterday was an active day and like I said I've backed off the meds - so today should probably be a pretty restful day - but I will continue taking this wonderful stuff, and report back. I have a good feeling - a very good feeling - literally! It's been so long since I've felt "good" - at best it has been "not terrible", but never good. I like good.
So - this October the gratitude and joy is rushing through me like a river. You never know what you've got till it's gone, that is just so true. Today - on a Monday - take a moment to enjoy the health of your body if you have it. Do something that makes it feel deliciously good, and enjoy the absence of pain and presence of pleasure. I truly believe it's part of why we're here on this planet.
xoxoxoxo Diane
