Hello January, 2018!
What a fresh start for the world - it feels like a new age is dawning, and I feel the potential for positive change brewing in the global winds!!! I am determined to change my attitude this year. I feel a power in positivity, like in no time in my life before. Maybe it's the level of atrocities being reached out in the world that throws the strength of positivity into light, but it doesn't matter. It only matters to focus on what we can do, and do it. It matters how we think about situations, and it matters greatly what our reactions to them are.
And now really is the time. Think of how it would be if we all individually ignored the hate bait in the news and social media - and instead just went straight up positive. Cold turkey. No snark, no sarcasm, no anger, no hate - just the power of compassion, of humor, of calm, and of encouragement. To train ourselves not to react, but to step back before we speak. To resist taking the bait - as a culture we're terrible at that, and it generates so much avoidable negativity. If we can resist the temptation to react, we have the power to prevail. To change minds. To change the world. And a good place to start - our faces.
Our faces say so much, just in their resting state. The internal is far more external than we think, the subtle shades of expression on our faces convey entire paragraphs of information to others, without us even really knowing it. When I catch myself with an angry face, or an intense, kind of sarcastic face - I try to change it. It's not that I have to SMILE, I would never use that dreaded command to myself or anyone else - it is such an insensitive thing to tell someone to do - ugh! But i important to wash away the anxiety and negativity from your facial expression. The muscles draw in, and down, and they bring your focus with them. If you don't change your expression you can't change your thoughts, and thus what happens to you.
I have found that closing my eyes, taking a deep breath and rubbing or tapping gently on my face - is enough to break that energy. Oddly enough if you change your facial expression, distract and relax the muscles in your face - your mood changes too. Just a little, but it's a start. It's utterly human to have negative thoughts - it's natural - but we don't have to stay there, feeding it. And it's so important not to, not only for ourselves - but for the energy we're spreading around every time someone looks at us.
Sometimes when it's really hard to see past emotional pain, and I'm struggling, I use a secret (not anymore) technique. It's extremely dorky, but effective, for me. I ask myself, If I could have someone drop by to listen to me right now, who would it be? Who would lighten this situation up, laugh at it, make it ridiculous and be on my side?
And of course the answer is, Alan Alda. lol! really! :)
The Alan Alda in my mind would understand completely, but he wouldn't let the problem bother him a whit. He would just make some irreverent joke, drain all the power out of the pain, and revealed it for the silly nonsense that it actually is. Alan Alda would just laugh at it. Now, why can't I?
Or, if Alan Alda is busy, perhaps Danny Kaye could come by. He would also laugh in the most charming, hilarious way, and then break out in song and goofy dancing. Just thinking of that makes me smile. And that's enough!
Who is your gentle charmer of choice? So far this technique is actually working for me. Instead of being crabby with the extra-loud garbage trucks this morning, I just lifted my coffee cup in salute to their courageous, stinky, and in-enviable task, as I can imagine AA and DK would have done, at least in my mind.
Happy Friday everyone!!!!
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