It’s a bit tempting to try and paint this day with a prettier brush, but that would hardly be authentic now would it? I don’t want to be like those Facebook’ers who only post the good stuff, so here’s the real day, unedited. It’s not so pretty.
First off, I was jolted awake at 6:30 a.m. by Gia, informing me she felt “barfy.” Usually I’m up relatively early, but this morning 6:30 a.m. might as well felt like the middle of the night. I spent the next 3 hours trying to talk Gia off the ledge because she was melting down. She felt nauseated, and eventually threw up, but I don’t think she had any virus, or ate something bad, I really think she just had indigestion from spicy Indian too late in the evening the night before. She said she couldn’t sleep on and off all night, and woke up at 5:30 with her stomach hurting (so really it was a gift she waited an hour to get me up.) Thanks to my trusted full scale zombie apocalypse emergency bag, I have anti-nausea medication at the ready, which she took. She was feeling much better by 10 a.m., but it was real touch and go for awhile, and Gia is super dramatic when it comes to pain or any health related issue. On a pain scale of 1-10, 10 being your arm being ripped off by lions, she was moving toward an 8 at some points this morning.
Eventually we managed to get everyone fed, and out the door. That was one step (the first one) in the right direction—possibly the only one of the day. We walked maybe 15 minutes and it was peaceful enough. We talked about cars mostly, because John had pointed out a mini Mercedes on the street that he thought I should get (only a small car will fit in our new garage) and then we bantered back and forth about how I didn’t want anything mini. The conversation morphed into Ava talking about what car she wanted when she turns 16 (and that doesn’t mean we are actually getting her a car when she turns 16, but she likes to frame it that way.) She is 15 ½ now and hasn’t bothered to get her learner’s permit as of yet (for a period of time she kept saying, “why drive when there is Uber everywhere?” Planning isn’t her strong suit, and procrastination is her security blanket—thanks ADHD.
Anyway, we are finally just a couple of minutes from the center of Vienna, when I get sick of the conversation between John and her about the laws on when teens candrive with friends, and I say, “It’s really mute because you’ve got a whole year of having your learner’s permit before you get your license anyway, so it’s a ways off.” Our rule, which I think is totally reasonable, is that you have to practice with a “learner’s permit” for one full year before you get your license. She could have got her permit the day she turned 15, the fact she waited isn’t really my issue. I just stated the rule, not making a big deal about it or yelling at her in any way. Doesn’t seem unreasonable to me.
So, that is the back story to the drama. Ava got ticked off at what I said, and told me that it wasn’t the rule, and she got super mad, and then stormed off saying she was going back to the apartment and wasn’t going to walk with us anymore. She walked off down the busy avenue, end of discussion. She’s very dramatic that way—thanks again ADHD with impulse control issues.
John’s response to all of this was to basically tell me that I really should haven’t said that because, “No 16 year old wants to hear that and we never really made a hard and fast rule about having a learner’s permit for a year.” He’s crazy, we did make the rule. He’s also crazy for making it about what I said which was reasonable, when the real issue was Ava having a teen tantrum. John’s not big on hard and fast rules of any sort—they box him in too much, nevermind that kids need the stability and predictability of fair, predictable rules.
We civilly argued for the next 3 hours, both verbally and non-verbally. That was a major bummer, and the foundation of the day. See, real life happens whether you are home or traveling. Effective co-parenting is the hardest thing in the world in my opinion—way harder than anything else in our marriage. We don’t agree a lot, and that’s hard. I’m not saying I’m always right, but mostly I am.
We did manage (even in this state of mutual irritation) to explore Naschmarkt which has loads of restaurants, fruit stands, spice stands, butchers and cheese mongers. Crowded but fun. We bought some olives, one variety which was this monster size Kalamata tasting olive that Romeo just loved. We also had a wonderful Vienna coffee afterwards at this cute little café, and we lounged like the locals do—with nothing to do and nowhere in particular to go. We visited St. Stephen’s cathedral which is right in the center square which is called Stephensplatz. It’s a huge gothic church, which I personally thought was prettier on the outside than inside (more dramatic I suppose). It has 23 bells which we heard tolling as we walked out and Romeo declared it, “way too loud.”
Ava met us at the café in the afternoon after spending much of the day solo. She seemed fine, and we didn’t talk about driving anymore. Around 3:30 p.m. the skies once again opened up and it poured rain, but luckily we were home just in time to avoid being drenched. Ava and Lucia spent the late afternoon obsessed with coloring the blond highlights OUT of their hair (which is hard to stomach given the fact they paid for those highlights not that long ago.) That’s just like a teen though, obsessed with one thing at one moment, and a totally other thing the next moment. I can’t keep up. Instead I gave myself a short yoga class, heavy on the Shavasana.
Vienna is a beautiful city, but I still haven’t felt its true vibe (or at least haven’t connected with it yet.) I feel like there are areas we have yet to go that would get me in the Vienna state of mind more…I need to find the little streets with local artists and merchants, loaded with natives, light on the tourists. I do love all the beautiful buildings though, just walking around and seeing the ornate detailing, and the complexity of everything is amazing. There’s something about it that fills up your senses like nothing else.
In case you are wondering, the answer is no, John and I never really made up by talking out our issues. He came up to me at the end of the day and tried to smooth it all over with a quick make out session, but that’s hardly an answer for conflicting parenting. I was too tired to make this point though, so I imagine we’ll just drop the whole thing, at least for now.
I finished my latest book, “Imagine Me Gone” by Adam Haslett. Interesting book. Sad. Moving on to “Less” by Andrew Greer, it won a Pulitzer and even though the topic didn’t draw me in immediately, the reviews did make it seem amazing. Will let you know.
Signed, ME {lv}
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