My relationship with Christmas is tenuous at best. I want to love the holiday, I really do. I start out each year in earnest to love the holiday and always begin with high hopes that I will do battle with stressful Christmas and only allow peaceful Christmas to stay with me. More often than not, stressful Christmas kicks peaceful's butt. It's the kids saying 1 million times how excited they are (that just equals massive pressure on me), it's the relatives coming, it's the sheer organizational madness of it all, and perfectionism that creeps in even though I try not to let it.
What can I say without sounding like a grinch? Not a lot. At this point I should just shut up, plaster a smile on my face, and open my eyes in 3 days. My in-laws arrive tomorrow night, after which time I have to pray nothing comes out of my mouth for the 60 hour visit of an incendiary nature -- this is incredibly hard because sometimes I can't help myself and sometimes I don't even realize what I'm saying could possibly be construed as incendiary. Add in a cocktail or two and you can understand my dread. I'm a ticking time bomb.
Here's what I know. We (women), make a lot of excuses for not taking care of ourselves, and when we do take care of ourselves, we make excuses why we are doing it as if we're embarrassed we are doing it. We are most often last in line. Kids come first, then a spouse and partners, family members, jobs....it can be awhile before we pop up on our list of priorities. This is the time of year we all need extreme self care because every woman I know, whether she has no children, or a boatload of them, is running around doing, doing, and doing more....for others. Which is a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong, but it's also exhausting. It can be fun, rewarding, and meaningful, and STILL be terribly exhausting. And no, you don't have to feel ungrateful for admitting that. You can love your family, love your life and have incredible gratitude for everything in it, and STILL recognize that Christmas can be madness, insanely tiring, and fray every last one of your nerves.
Most people I know are relieved when Christmas is over. That sounds horrible to say out loud, but the truth is, the whole thing is a lot of pressure. You want everyone to feel loved, to feel special--each gift to be perfect. You don't want to forget anyone. You also have to remember people that quite honestly you could stand to NOT remember quite so much. That right there is taxing on one's emotional spirit.
So all that is just to say, take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Do things for yourself, don't apologize for doing it. Whether it's a bath in the middle of the day, a new lip gloss just because, or some other indulgence that you deserve. Whatever you need, take it.
Christmas is almost here, and there will be plenty of moments that will be wonderful. I can't wait to see the look on everyone's faces as they open gifts I've labored to pick out so carefully. I can't wait to see the unbridled joy that Christmas brings my kids. A 9 year old boy Christmas morning is a wonder, it really is. I will however, also be SO happy for the moment AFTER all the crazy, when I can kick my feet up, and say, "done, and done."
A big shout out to all of you who are feeling the strain these last few days pre-Christmas or Hanukkah. I feel ya, and just know, we are almost there. Take a moment here and there, more if you can, for yourself, and remember that self-care is an act of love for yourself AND others around you. If you care for yourself you are able to be present for others. My favorite yoga wisdom I heard recently was "you can't pour from an empty cup." Be good to yourselves in the spirit of Christmas--love and kindness for ALL (that's right, YOU too)!
Wish me luck.
Signed, ME {lv}
Comments