I thought Monday was hard. Tuesday morning nearly killed me. Three out of four kids were late for school, so that right there involved all kinds of yelling and frustration--and all before 8:30 a.m.. I attribute the entire reason I need botox (badly) to Ava, she’s single handedly aging me rapidly.
I went to yoga, after the hideous morning drop offs, with high hopes that it would chill me out. It did, a bit (but honestly I was so amp’ed up that coming down 50% only brought me to moderately frantic.) I was totally confused by the teacher’s offering today. Something about a heart chakra and a stomach chakra, but I never quite got it. I did hava a take away though, which didn’t involve the teacher at all.
I often see the same people at yoga, but usually I’m in a rush, so I don’t actually SEE them until I’m already in the hot yoga room which means a couple of things. One, my entire focus is on not bolting out the door because I’m usually ruminating on how it feels hotter than normal and too hot to actually exercise in. Two, it’s quiet and dimly lit, with soft music playing….i.e., it’s not social hour so the most you do is look around, but that’s about it. Today I was a few minutes early and entered the too hot room, went to set my stuff down in a cubby and a woman that I often see in the same time slot on different days was also setting her bag down. Now I’ll be honest, she always looked kind of stern to me, not approachable at all. She looks serious and a little intense, and for some reason I assumed she didn’t have kids and lived in an urban condo and was married to some intense job. Where did I get that whole internal story in my head?? Who the hell knows, there is no good reason, except that if we are honest we all make snap assessments based on all kinds of faulty random info that our brain cooks up (hello biases, nice to meet ya.)
Well, today I had a whim and said, “I see you here all the time, looks like we’re on the same schedule.” She immediately responded and introduced herself and turns out she’s SUPER sweet, has two little kids, and is not stern or serious at all. She does not live in an urban condo either.
Moral of the story….you don’t know a person's deal, so don’t assume you do.
The rest of my day was spent knee deep in errands and birthday prep for Ava who turns 17 tomorrow. It’s harder to do birthday prep when you are SO irritated with someone you want to throttle them, yet that’s exactly what I did. All I know is I can’t believe I have a 17 year old kid. It made me ponder how much my life has changed in the last 10 years, and how much it’ll change 10 years from now. We celebrated her 7thbirthday 10 years ago. Everything was different. And 10 years from now she’ll be 27 and who KNOWS where we’ll all be, I can’t even begin to speculate what that might look like. It's exciting and scary both at once.
One thing I did do for myself today was to light myself a candle while I sat in my office. It’s a silly thing, because a candle isn’t all that special, I do use them all the time, but not usually in my office and today it was more of a ceremonial treat--a little ritual to make me feel good. I used my Made Market matches (which are just crazy cute and would be a needlessly indulgent except that they make me happy and the bottle is so darn pretty to look at. The Makana candles are wonderful, I need more of them but the last one I bought is just delicious and it did make me happy to have it burning.
Besides that the other thing I did to make me happy is repositioned my flexi-yoga-frog. Yep, he sits on my desk, a gift from my dearest friend in SF, who saw him and couldn’t resist. When we were in college we had a toy flexi-spider that was about the same size that sat on the dash of the car with a cigarette in his mouth. He was dubbed "really scary spider" and was the mascot for our wild and debachery filled college days. It seems fitting that my late 40's should have a flexi-green-yoga-frog as a mascot. It's another one of my fun little rituals to make me happy...positioning froggy, snapping a picture, laughing, and then sending the pic to my friend with a caption entitled "froggy in down dog" or "froggy trying tree pose". As my husband often says to me, "you are cracking yourself up." Emphasis on YOURSELF (vs. anyone else).
Here's to hoping that the rest of the week is smooth like butter (that I can't eat because I'm allergic to dairy.). Again, cracking myself up....
Signed, ME {lv}
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