Me in Melange

The Opposite of Freaking Out

The is my goal for March--to do the opposite of freaking out.  You can't watch the news from any source, or talk to just about anyone, and not have a panic attack for one reason or another.  I thought it would only be election year stress, but with the new coronavirus there's a whole new layer of stress.  It's hard not to get yourself all whipped up and prepping for doomsday.  

Just go try to find hand sanitizer, disinfectant wipes, or face masks, you'll find empty shelves and frantic people searching everywhere and paying exorbitant prices, there's panic in the air.  I'm not saying the concerns aren't legitimate, they definitely are understandable.  We are in unchartered territory and the unknown is scary for everyone.  Freaking out though?  I think we can do without it.

So when I pondered what my goals for March were, I decided it was first and foremost to NOT freak out.  Instead, I'm going to do the opposite and I'm going to take a deep breath and chill out.  

So when people ask me if I have two weeks supply of food because they read somewhere that it was recommended by the CDC, I'm going to say, "yes, but that's because everyone should have two weeks of food for any disaster that might happen (natural or otherwise)". When people ask me if I'm going to cancel travel plans, my answer is, "no, but we might wear masks on the plane as a precaution."  Things will be ok, no matter what, because we'll make sure they are.  Freaking out isn't going to help, or make life better, or stop something bad from happening.   Stress isn't great for your body, but relaxing, sleeping well and washing your hands IS good for your immune system so that seems like a better route.

So each day of March we're going to send out a good mantra for the day, one that calms and empowers, and I hope everyone remembers to just take a deep breath, not get caught up in the mania of panic, and remember that it will be ok.  March will bring the start of spring, the rebirth of everything dormant, and hopefully some sunshine....bring it on!

Signed, ME {lv}

The Power To Do What You Want

I walked with a friend this morning in the beautiful sunshine and it felt like food for the soul.  I had planned on going to a noon yoga class, but then right before I needed to leave I realized that I didn't quite feel like going.  I usually always feel like going, and I'm completely a creature of habit.  I also tend to be a little OCD with my schedule and rituals and feel guilty when I don't follow thru.  But here's the thing that is awesome.  You can change your mind.  You can do whatever you want and you don't have to feel bad or guilty about it.  It's so basic.  So simple.  It felt liberating to remind myself though, and good to follow thru with doing what my body and heart felt like doing--regardless of what I had written in my bullet journal.

So that's it.  Remember that you have the power to do what feels right for YOU.  That means you can change your mind, change your attitude, change your style....and you can own it fully.  AND, it will feel good.

Have an amazing Saturday, filled with everything that feels right for YOU.

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Uncomfortable Change, Microblading & Summer Cover Ups

Yoga was tough today.  All around.  It was definitely a day I felt like I might just have to NOT do one more forearm plank.  The message was good though, it was all about how uncomfortable any change was, and how even the changes you want to make, need to make, or are otherwise totally welcome, come with the uncomfortableness of making the change and losing your old patterns.   We all gravitate toward what we know, good or bad, and that makes the "new" inherently tougher to embrace.  It was a good reminder, and I for one need constant reminders.

The big news....I've got an appointment for microblading Saturday morning.  I'm super excited, and I'm really, REALLY hoping that it looks ok.  In my head it'll be great because my brows will always be perfect--no maintenance needed.  As it is now, I usually grab my eyebrow pencil and do them in the car rearview mirror at a stoplight and then inevitably they look a little wonky in some way or another.  Maybe if we did them in a real mirror each morning and took some time it would be fine, but that NEVER happens.  So here's to hoping they will look amazing.  Downside is that you aren't suppose to do any super sweaty workouts for 4 days (so no hot yoga), AND they look freakishly dark the first few days until they flake off and mellow out.  So it may not be my best looking weekend unfortunately, but that's the price.  Come Tuesday or Wednesday though, look out...I'll keep you posted.

Lastly, my mission is to start stock piling light and airy things for summer that will protect my skin.  We're going to Greece and Turkey, and it's going to be warm and sunny--really warm, and really sunny.  I'm not sure if its and age thing or what, but last summer was a freaky intro into pigment malfunction.  I do not need even ONE more sunspot, and I've now spent all winter trying to get rid of them so I'm going to do everything short of carry around an umbrella this summer (and I'm not even totally opposed to that).  I'm looking to find light and airy fabrics, with as much coverage as possible, AND hats.  The new Margaret O'Leary skirt caught my eye--perfect example of coverage, yet light and airy.  I also want one of the Shebobo hats (super silly name, cute hats). I'm going to pop that brim out and  protect my face (along with 10 layer of SPF).  I'll admit, I'm super jealous of all the women I see who have gorgeous olive skin and tan perfectly the second they are out in the sun.  I'm just a sea of sun spot freckles.  Ugh.  

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Spring Cleaning Stage 2

I'm feeling SO proud of myself!  I took 3 hours today and I made some serious headway on my re-organization/spring cleaning!  I did all the horrible stuff we all hate to do....like cleaning the junk drawer, attacking the hall closet, going thru the drawers in the media stand that accumulate stuff somehow.  I have at least two kids who are too lazy to put anything away in its proper place (especially if it involves walking up any stairs), so in the media stand drawers I found tampons, a plate, tons of pens, usb cords, and loads of empty wrappers from snacks, cups...the list went on.  It was maddening.

I powered thru though, and then I did something worse than all of the above.  I got out the upholstery cleaning machine, heated up extra hot water, and worked on getting the dripped candle wax off the tv room sofa.  Yes, down the entire side arm was wax that "mysterious" was dripped.  Sounds safe doesn't it?  Of course there was fervent denial from both teens (they lie though, and their motto is deny, deny, deny).  Anyway, it was a horrible task and I have dreaded it for weeks.  I'm happy to say though, it's DONE!!!!

So my point in all of this, is that as much as I was dragging my feet, I'm so glad I put some time in because it felt amazing to purge and organize.  I ended up with four large garbage bags full of stuff....and I'm not even done!  Sometimes the anticipation of doing jobs you don't want to do is worse than the actual job itself.  I instantly felt lighter going thru the closets and clearing stuff out--I felt the energy flowing much better.  It's a great feeling, I'd forgotten how great it feels to just tackle the thing you don't feel like tackling.

My reward?  Yes, because I feel like I deserve one for sure.  I'm going to have a little beauty
night with some of my favorite Melange beauty purchases.  #1, bath with a Latika bath bomb (these smell great and are just fun), and while I'm taking a bath I'm #2 doing a mask from Nash & Jones (the fossil mask).  Then I'm going to #3 do the Elizabeth W. lip scrub.  #4 Nash & Jones body lotion (love this stuff), #5 I'm going to jump into cozy jammies and #6 do my nails in the Priti NYC Sea Holly color (just because its fun and different).  A little TLC for me.

Lastly, I just want to make a report on my weekly organic fruit and veggie box.  I can say (and I realize it's only week #1) that so far, it's been awesome.  Besides the obvious of wanting fresh and organic fruits and veggies, I was hoping that it would push me outside of my veggie comfort zone and force me to diversify.  I love veggies, but I am the first to admit I get lazy.  I might not buy beets, simply because they are more labor intensive. Well, tonight I made bok choy, which for me is totally diversifying.  I just don't generally cook it, but I did it tonight because I got it in my box and didn't want to waste it.  I've also had two kinds of kale this week (granted, I made both kinds into crispy kale chips loaded with olive oil and salt), but still.   I'm excited for week #2!

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Ear Piercing

There was a time that I was much more conservative as a parent.  When Ava, my oldest, asked to get her ears pierced I made her wait until she was "old enough".  When she asked to get second piercing the answer was, "absolutely NOT."  The same went for hair dye, bikinis and makeup.  

But truthfully, it didn't last long because Ava is, unfortunately or fortunately, an unrelenting child (the CIA could use her interrogation purposes, she's be better than water boarding.)  She wore me down year after year, and I consider myself to be fairly tough.

Fast forward to today.  My second daughter, Lucia, now 15, asked me to give her a second piercing.  Well, not exactly.  She actually GAVE herself a second piercing on one ear, but then came upstairs to ask me to do the second one because it was harder to do the "other ear."  That's right, she pierced the first ear herself, with a long needle, some alcohol and an apple--I didn't even realize she was doing it. Girl has nerves of steel.  When I asked her why she didn't wait and have it done at one of those mall kiosks she said, "you need a parent's permission to do it and it costs like $50."  So apparently she didn't consider asking for my permission, but kudos to her for saving $50.  

So when she came up and asked me to the second ear, I felt obligated to help.  She was one ear in, and clearly not feeling confident about the second hole (and it's tricky to get them even.). She's been a handful lately, so stabbing her thru the ear with a sharp object didn't seem entirely ridiculous. 

So I did it.  It was awful--it goes against your instinct as a parent to actually stab something into your child that isn't for life saving purposes.  It did however bring back a very old memory of a high school party, my best friend, and a similar ear piercing situation (I honestly can't remember if she pierced mine or I did hers--she couldn't' remember either.)  I can recall the orange we used to hold behind the ear, and the wine coolers we were drinking for courage (remember those awful things?), which are probably responsible for our poor memory of the whole thing.

So that's it, I've come full circle from piercing ears in high school, to piercing my own daughters ears. I'll add that to the list of things I never I thought I would do.

Yoga today was good, but the best part really was at the very end when we were just about to say namaste and get out of that hot sweaty room and she said "I see you."  For some reason that phrase really hit me, and stuck with me.  It's what everyone wants, it's universal.  To be seen.  It's funny though, rarely does someone say it out loud like that.  It was lovely I will say.

We had more sun today.  It's official, Spring is almost here!  I finished my closet today, and have my piles of stuff to get rid of.  There were winter pieces that won't make the cut and it's nice because now when I go to put my winter clothes away for good (which will be very soon), I will only be putting away stuff that I know I want for next year.  I'm also methodically going thru and washing my cashmere, de-pilling it and then when I pack it away I'm going to use some of the Meyer's dryer sheets in the plastic bins so that they come out smelling wonderful next winter.  The only thing better than cashmere, is good smelling cashmere.

Signed, ME {lv}

Teary Yoga

I know I talk about yoga a lot, but I can’t help myself.  Today was an intense class.  The instructor is one of my favorites, and she had just come off of an intensive weekend training and she warned us that she was a bit raw.  This is what I love about yoga, it’s so much more than just the poses, it’s really all in your head, that’s where the real work is.

Anyway, she talked about she felt during this training program she attended, which basically amounted to “unworthy”.  It was that feeling of walking into a room and feeling like everyone had a better job, more education, better outfit, prettier, funnier….basically that everyone is out of your league.  Who hasn’t felt that way?  Part of the training during the weekend was to tap into what was holding you back, what made you feel unaccepted, or unworthy.  She shared a memory of her father (who died suddenly when she was in her teens), and how he had come to a diving meet (after rarely ever coming) and said, “I just thought you’d be better by now.”  So part of her cathartic weekend, was coming to accept herself, and her father’s limitations, and forgiveness. All in order to move thru them and keep them from holding her back or being the excuse that held her back.  As she was telling her memory of her father she broke into tears.  It was such a vulnerable moment for her, and she was willing to share it with everyone. Another reason I love yoga.

She quoted someone…I think it was Eckhart Tolle, who said, “First there must be acceptance. Then you can begin.” All the things (insert people, circumstances etc.) that hold you back, are things you haven’t fully accepted yet. 

She went on to teach a hard ass class….lots and lots of arm work.  Another reason I love yoga.

On a totally other note, my other favorite thing (clothes) deserves a little shout out too.  I just got the Anni Kuan Kite top, and can I just say how great it is??  I think this is such a perfect morphing top….it can morph from day to night, or season to season.  Super cute on too (love the sleeves), and I think it will make a great travel piece. I like that it isn’t black, but it’s not a washed out grey either—it’s that great in-between that manages to still look fresh and not dreary.  It took me a long time to warm up to Anni’s fabrics (I couldn’t get past the fact that they weren’t “all natural”) but I have come to totally trust her ability to find fabrics that feel, wear, drape and wash really, REALLY well.  I’m never disappointed. I have her flight pants in black, but now I know I need them in the grey too because it would be fantastic worn with the top—a lá jumpsuit style. 

I will also say, that I’m enjoying my Child perfume and body cream almost every day.  Last I heard Cammi had totally converted to loving it too.  Initially when I asked her if she liked it she said, “well, it’s not for me really.” The smell changes a lot on your skin, and at first smell from the bottle it can feel a little bold, but softens and mellows so beautifully on the skin.  She now has confirmed she’s completely in love with it too.  I just really adore the small roller ball size, it’s always in my purse and I love that I can dab it on during the day.

Lastly, Romeo wore shorts and a tee shirt today….it probably didn’t get warmer than 52 degrees outside. When we walked the dog in the late afternoon he said, “mommy, I hate to tell you, but I think it’s because you are over 40 that you are cold because I’m always comfortable OR I’m too hot.”  So apparently my advanced age is making me cold. Who knew?   

Getting Organized For March (and Spring)

It's the last week of February, which officially means, March is RIGHT around the corner.  This gets me in the mood for some spring cleaning.  Time to start prepping for the new season to come since March is almost here and March = Spring.   I know it's early, but I've waited before, and then all of a sudden it's a rush and I'm shoving wool sweaters into bins and searching for my spring stuff.  

So I'm starting on my closet first. First thing I did was to pull everything out of my closet and anything I haven't worn in a year gets a super hard look and theoretically goes in the "to go" pile.  There was an article in Elle that said, "If you haven't worn it in a year, what makes you think you're going to wear it now? Don't hoard items under false pretenses."  I think that sort of sums it up.  It's really easy to make excuses about why you did or didn't wear it, or why you "might" wear it at some point.  The truth is though, if you didn't wear it, you most likely won't because if you really think about it, there's a REASON why you didn't wear it.    

Cocktail dresses, dressy outfits and formal wear are excluded from this rule.  I hold on to pieces for years, and I can go a year or two (or more) before looking at it again.  Good pieces are worth hanging on to.  

I do have some other exceptions to the one year rule that I found.  Really nice pieces that for whatever reason just didn't make the rotation this year but I know I can't part with.  Example, a double oversized Margaret O'Leary cashmere wrap with fringe.  I didn't wear it this winter, but it's a keeper for sure. I did however, part with a Prairie Underground top that I've held on to for two years, and haven't worn it once.  It's darling, but in the end just doesn't fit me quite right.  There's something about it that doesn't work on me but it's subtle so when I see it's cuteness hanging in the closet, I think I must be able to find a good outfit for it right?  I can't though, and I won't. I decided not to hoard it any longer.  Not everything you buy is a winner, but it's so much worse if you let it just take up space and energy in your closet when someone else can use and love it.

Truthfully that's the only thing I did toward my spring cleaning/March organization so far, and it took me a long time (and I'm only 3/4 the way thru and that might be generous).  Tomorrow I'm going to mock up a list of all the other spring cleaning things I want to knock out and then a reasonable schedule to do it.  Plus I'm definitely going to need some reward at the end of it to help motivate me (something new and Springy maybe?)

Signed, ME {lv}

 

 

Acceptance & Hotter Than You Think

I don't usually go to yoga on the weekends, but I did today.  It was a great class, and the messaging was all about acceptance.  Acceptance of yourself, of the things you can change and the things you can't.  It was a really good class, and I needed it.  You know how I know I needed it?  As I lay there in the first couple of minutes of class, when I was suppose to be thinking about relaxing, and focusing in, I had crazy monkey mind instead.  The kind that goes like this..."I left the kids alone, hope they are ok, Lucia is up with her friend and she said her room smelled funny, but what if you lights a candle, and what if her friend knocks it over, and then her drapes catch on fire, those drapes are so long, and then the whole room goes up in flame, where are the fire distinguishers downstairs, would Romeo and Gia know what to do, what about the dog, maybe I should go home, I should really be there in the morning, they are going to make a mess in the kitchen, I hope no-one uses the new sharp knife, what if they end up getting cut, what will they do, we probably don't even have bandaids, but what if the ambulance has to come, i should have told them not to cook anything, boy my underwear feel tight, I wonder if I shrank them."

For real.  That stream of consciousness was about 10 seconds, and it only got worse from there.  Sometimes I shocked by how much your mind can get squirrelly and spend so much energy running around chasing nothing.

In the spirit of acceptance though, I recognized that I just was what it was.  That was where I was at today....and it was ok.  I worked with it, and did the best I could.  

My only other reminder for everyone is that you are hotter than you think.  If you doubt me, just look back on a picture of yourself 10 years ago (long story, but suffice it to say, I'm looking at old photos.)  I bet you'll think, "dang, I looked pretty good."  We are our own worst critic in the moment.  So just remember that this is as young as you'll ever be from here on out, and you are hotter than you think.   Appreciate yourself, you are beautiful!

 

Signed, ME {lv}

 

 

Sun & Flowers, 5 Cents Bags & Midnight Vacuums

We have one of those floor robots that vacuums automatically.  Theoretically this would work great.  In practice, something always goes wrong.  It’ll get trapped under a chair, or will stop working because someone forgets to empty the dirt bag.  The latest issue is that it randomly, and without logic, starts vacuuming in the middle of the night.  It keeps waking me up at 2 a.m., and that is because for two days in a row I’ve #1 neglected to figure out the problem and #2 forgotten to just shut the whole thing down. I’ll tell you right now, there is nothing more annoying than being woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of vacuuming.   I’m writing about this mainly because I want to cement it into my brain, so that there is hope that I can remember to fix it or turn it off before tonight.

The other thing I keep forgetting, since we’re on the topic, is my re-usable bag!!!  I have several cute ones thanks to the YaY bags we carry, but I KEEP FORGETTING THEM when I go into the grocery store.  It’s terribly annoying, and made worse now that it’s state law that you have to pay 5 cents for a paper bag.  The money part isn’t so bad, what’s bad is that each time you go into any store they ask you, “do you want to buy a bag for 5 cents.”  So then each time you are reminded that you forgot again, and you are annoyed because you have one sitting in your car.   So not only do you have to pay 5 cents, but you have to be “that person” who didn’t bring their bag (and it seems everyone else I see in line manages to remember them.)   I would like to promise myself that I won’t check out from the grocery store UNLESS I have a bag, but I’m pretty sure I won’t stick with that. 

I’m happy to say we had a sunny, gorgeous day today.  Blue skies that made you feel like it might be warm (it’s not really), but it’s a wonderful preview of what’s to come.  Our cherry blossoms are blooming too, which are uncharacteristically early this year (last year we had 2 or 3 legit snow days at this exact time of year).  It’s absolutely amazing! 

So. here’s to everyone having a wonderful weekend, that you remember to do everything you need to do AND that you get some sunshine.

Signed, ME {lv}

Memento Mori

Amanda and I had a conversation yesterday about my Xanax worthy anxiety that I'm having right now.  John just left for his Panama trip with my brother-in-law where they will surf and dive.  Because of all of the serious health issues that crept up with my father-in-law, I’m irrationally scared that something is going to happen to John.  Yoga is barely helping, that's show bad it is.

Amanda, in her wisdom beyond her years, talked me off the ledge. She has already been faced with her worst fears regarding death and losing a loved one, and so she has perspective the hard way.  People like me, who live in anticipation of their greatest fear, have no perspective yet, just fear.  

She said, “if I'm being completely honest, I kind of appreciate people when they live with a little bit of the anxiety of the inevitable, means you aren't taking it for granted.  You're trying, and appreciating what life is, and who is in it.”

So if I can clamp down my anxiety to a tolerable degree, I think she is right, being aware of the fragility of life isn’t a bad thing, and once you are aware of it, you can’t help but be somewhat anxious but you also are hyper aware of all that you have in the moment.

She also forwarded me two things, the latin phrase: memento mori, and the quote:

"let us prepare our minds as if we'd come to the very end of life. let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life's books each day. The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time" – Seneca

Memento Mori translates to “remember (that) you will die.”  It’s the idea that the contemplation of death is an appropriate way to appreciate life.

So now I’m contemplating that this post might sound a little morose.  It’s not meant to, it’s meant to be a reminder that life is short, and to appreciate all the joys you can in the moment. I know I've talked about it before, it's a common thread running through my head these days.

Of course, because I love a good pivot, I”ll just say that I’m fully enjoying the new Velvet group.  I just love the line, it's super high up on my "things I wear" list.  I think I might have said that about Margaret O’Leary, Lilla
P. and Anni Kuan that came in this week too.  We’re so lucky to carry such wonderful designers, it’s all such a treat when they come in.   This is one of my favorite little white tees, I love it....although I think I'll probably actually wear a bra, unlike the model they used.  I mean really, no on does that in real life??!!  The sleeves are awfully sweet though.

Signed, ME {lv}

Barn Drama & Unexpected Friends

First I want to start out by saying how much I absolutely LOOOOVE the barn that I board Zinc at. The owner is incredible (makes all the difference), my trainer boards her horses there (so I end up getting a lot more special attention/tips and tricks), and the setting is incredible. LV has her yoga, I have my time at the barn. It's so peaceful and relaxing to be out there. Like a little reset. Some days things are hard, and don't go as planned, but it just makes the good days that much better.

 

...But the drama. Oh man. You'd think it was a mini highschool. There are major cliques and groups, and people that don't like each other, the whole thing. It's fascinating to watch grown women read too much into why someone didn't put the cones back EXACTLY where they had found them, or how many shavings someone put in their stall vs someone else's stall. I love people watching, and binge watching a great drama, so this perfectly combines the two. I mostly keep my head down, and do my own thing - it's my happy place, I don't need to worry about anything but playing with horses and breathing in fresh air out there.

 

A few months ago a new woman starting boarding her horse at the barn. We'll call her Ginny. Mostly because her name is Ginny, but also because her horse's name is Jack, and I think the names Ginny and Jack sound cute together. She was a little odd at first - I would say hi to her, or ask her how its going, and she wouldn't reply. Like at all. Zippo. Sometimes she say, "good" when I asked her how she's doing, but not a chance she would return the question to me, or comment on the weather. Nothing. Maybe this was just a new barn dynamic? Maybe she just doesn't like small talk? Or did I unknowingly offend her in some way? 

 

As she settled in to her routine out at the barn, our schedules overlapped a lot. She's out there every weeknight at 5:30 sharp, and I am usually there around that time as well. Zinc's stall is right across from Jack's so we had to figure this awkward dynamic out. I couldn't be out there in silence every night thinking she hated me - or worse yet, my horse! LOL. So every night I made it my mission to say hi and engage with her in some way. Comment on how her horse is adjusting to his new home, ask her why she feeds the grain she does, or how long she's been working with Jack, etc. She would answer the questions, to the point. No embellishments. But she didn't seem to hate me, so I made it my mission to connect with her in some way, and kept plugging away at it. Fast forward a few months, and now, I might even call us friends. Barn Friends at the very least. :) We have long conversations (about horses - I literally know nothing else about Ginny...we only talk about horses, and anything to do with horses), and she even says "hi" when she sees me and waves! It's a BIG deal!! She's super sweet, and VERY interesting. And, she knows a TON, and is incredibly helpful.

 

Last week, as we were talking, she invited me to this riding group she's a part of. WHAT?!? It made my day! I went from thinking she wanted nothing to do with me, chipped away at her with little bits of kindness, and now she's asking me to do things with her! Now when I hear Ginny's truck pulling up, not only do I know its exactly 5:30, but I get excited to talk to her. Maybe she's just quiet at first, or maybe she's shy, or maybe she knows after all of her years of experience to keep to herself in barns to avoid any drama, but I'm so glad she opened up to me, and now we can be barn friends! I am also glad I gave her a chance, and didn't just accept my first impression of her as how it was. It would have been easier to just let it go at first, but not nearly as rewarding.

 

Here's a pic of the sunset from tonight because it was incredible, and I want it to put a smile on everyone's face like it did for me. :)

 

Signed, ME {AT}

Cards, Burmese Food & Layering Perfection

I’m currently obsessed with cards.  Real cards that you hold in your hand and stick in the mail with a stamp (remember those things?)  Not ecards, or emoji-cards, or anything electronic. Not to be hating on the modern era, but I really do miss the days when people sent mail, and your mailbox might actually contain something other than junk mail or catalogues.  I get SO excited when I get a card in the mail...which I will tell you right now, is next to never.

We got in a new shipment of All My Layers, which I think are just darling cards, with sweet simple sentiments.  I also love that they are $5 which is totally reasonable (no joke, I went into a fancy paper store the other day and it was $7.95 for a card which just seems excessive.)  I took a moment to send out a card today for a girlfriend just because I missed her (she lives in town but I never see her enough) and I even went to the supermarket to get stamps (there is ONE small supermarket near me that still sells stamps…even my bank doesn’t do it anymore)!   It’s up to our generation to keep this art alive and teach our kids otherwise it’ll be no time before they are baffled by the possibility that something might come in the mailbox that they might have to read.  

I find it fascinating that my teens do ALL of their communicating via snapchat and Instagram stories.  They don’t text, they don’t email.  My 15 year old wasn’t even sure what her email was when I asked her the other day. They don’t use landlines, and they don’t write letters or send cards.  I hate to sound like an old timer, but what is the world coming to?

On a totally other note (and I mean a complete and total pivot), I have recently become obsessed with Burmese food.  Actually, mostly just ONE Burmese dish, and lots of their coconut rice.  It’s a pickled green tea leaf salad and it’s amazing (cabbage, tea leaves, peanuts, some oil and sesame seeds...and other stuff I'm sure.)  I can’t even branch out to order anything different because I’m so obsessed with the salad.  John and I went to lunch today and I ordered the salad and he ordered a curry beef.  She brought this huge salad bowl out, two plates and big serving tongs.  Then I had to inform her that no, I didn’t plan on sharing, and yes, I did plan on eating that thing myself.  And I did. So here’s a nod to Burmese food, which I would have probably never rush to try except my friend served take out from this place at a little impromptu dinner she invited us to.  It was amazing and I was instantly hooked.  What if I hadn’t ever tried it?  I would never have known how delicious it was.  That’s a real argument for trying new things.  I will also note, that I zoned in on this today in yoga too when the teacher specifically said, "today try something you've never tried before, reach for something new."  Side crow here I come.

We got in Lilla P. today, and I know it’s probably the most boring aspect of the group (actually, not probably, it’s most definitely), but the new stretch layering pieces are fantastic. They come in all the usual suspects (black, white and nude) and in a camisole version and the scoop tank version. They are fantastic!  Great length, great stretch fabric, great fit.  These are the perfect foundational pieces I always need and never have handy.   I’ve tried a lot of basics like this, from all kinds of places (including Target, and big box stores), and I’ve been very disappointed overall.   Target actually has a decent tank for sleeping in, but it’s not nice enough to actually wear under something where it might peek out  (like a low cut v-neck or a partially unbuttoned shirt).  These pieces from Lilla P. look super nice, and they wear really well (plus I love that it's primarily cotton.)  There is nothing worse than not having the right layering piece to go under something you have that you want to wear and with all the slightly sheer stuff that comes with spring/summer styles, these are going to be perfect!

One last note....has anyone noticed that it's staying noticeably lighter later?  It's 5:45 p.m. and it's still light outside!!!  That's progress, Spring is definitely coming!

Signed, ME {lv} 

Meet The New Anni Kuan

Spring is the kick off of Anni Kuan’s brand new, laser focused and über inspired group.  She decided last Summer to give her clothing line and business a makeover (which is being debuted now.)  She streamlined everything within her company, and she tailored down her line to a much smaller capsule of only the pieces she really, really loved, and really believed in.  Her epiphany was that she was designing and creating a bigger line to support an entire operation with her business and organization--the cart was pulling the horse.  She decided to scale back, only produce the pieces she felt passionate about, and to strip down her overhead to a simple operation that would make it easier for her to not feel external pressures to design a certain way, or satisfy a certain client, or “sell” what she didn’t feel super driven about.

She was getting lost in the rat race essentially, so she forcefully pulled herself out of the race, and reinvented herself—or perhaps a better way of saying it is that she “found herself” again.

The result?  It’s a small, and amazing collection, and when you talk to her she’s passionate about each single piece, and each and every piece has a multi-layered use.  She’s thought out how it pairs with everything else in the collection (and outside of the collection.)  I think it’s quite possibly the best spring/summer group she’s ever created.

My personal favorite is the Tonnero jacket.  It’s expensive, and my only hesitation was about the price honestly.  But once you see it and put it on, you realize how unique and wonderful it is—and worth the tag price.  It’s one of those jackets that you can throw on over a white tank, pair it with your favorite jeans and a pair of tennis shoes and feel totally great in. You can also couple it with some cool wide leg, high waisted black pants for work.  It’s got all kinds of possibilities, and it’s this oddly timeless style, that still manages to look very “now”.  

The only problem with Anni’s collection is that honestly, every piece feels indispensable, so you want them all, and I could argue that they are all must-haves, so choosing is going to be hard....do we have to?? 

Signed, ME {lv}

The World Of Gifts, Jewelry, Accessories & Beauty

You’ve probably noticed that Melange has picked up a LOT of small gift, accessories, and jewelry items lately.  We’re branching out a little deeper into all kinds of little treasures.

 

When I was in Europe last summer, and traveling in Spain, Portugal & France in particular, one of my favorite things to do was to shop the little boutiques.  There are SO many, and while I’m sure there are plenty of the big box stores as well, in the areas we gravitated toward (old sections of town, little villages etc.), there were ONLY boutiques.  What I loved about the little shops over there was what a wide variety of things they carried.  You’d walk into a little store and it would be filled with such diversity.  When I say little, I mean LITTLE.  To have three people in the store at the same time would seem crowded.  I’m visualizing this little neighborhood shop in Bordeaux right now in particular.  It was tucked into a block of apartments, with really not much around it in terms of retail other than the grocery store ½ a block up that we went to regularly, and the drug store 2 blocks the other way that we also went to.  There might have been other stores, but honestly the hours were so sporadic and odd that I didn’t actually see them ever open.

 

Anyway, this tiny little shop was darling, and while they didn’t have a ton of anything, they had a little of everything.  I could buy a pair of cute sandals, or earrings, or a dress, or a little zippered yellow animal print pocketbook (which is what I actually DID buy).  It was clearly the neighborhood boutique, and curated with only the things she liked the most in such a darling and special way.  

 

That was my inspiration. We’ve always carried a little jewelry here and there, and we’ve dabbled in certain accessories more than others (like scarves), but I wanted to find more....great hair items, and the coolest handful of beauty things, and maybe a perfume or two that we loved.  Well, we’re definitely on the way to creating that shop with a million wonderful treasures in it.  I walk in now and think, “I could totally find everything I need here from a birthday gift, to a new lip gloss, to a basic white cami, to a new dress or pair of jeans.)   It's a slow process though for us to get to know all the different gift, beauty, accessory, and jewelry options out there and then find the designers that we can really get excited about--ones that have a story to tell, and a purpose in what they are creating.  We've definitely found some good ones though.  I'm a huge fan of Collin Garrity vases (they are just beautiful), and Elizabeth W. lip scrub (which I only mention because I literally just used it last night and it was amazing.)

 

We're still getting the hang of the right quantities to buy, and how to merchandise it so that everyone sees how awesome all these things are (vs. them getting lost in the shuffle).  It’s coming together slowly but surely though, and we hope everyone enjoys the new goodies, there will be more to come in 2020!

 

Signed, ME {lv}

 

 

 

 

Long Weekends

I’ve had 4 cups of tea today, watched 3 movies, read, gone into the hot tub twice, made sushi rolls, took one freezing cold walk, and went to the grocery store where I paid entirely too much for an avocado (among a lot of other things.). We’re in Sunriver for the long weekend.  I’m home with the two little kids who didn’t ski today (Romeo has a cold and Gia only wanted to ski one of the two days).  John’s got the older girls on the mountain.

It’s been a long lazy day, one that included a lot of eating, and a lot of lounging in front of the fire.

It’s also a day during which I spent a lot of time thinking about the moment, and how lucky we are to all be here together as a family.  On our drive up here (5 hours with traffic) we got some very tough news about my father-in-law’s health--very tough, and a shock.  It was jolting reminder that time is short, and that we don’t know what each day brings.  Everything I saw, did, and experienced today was consumed with the sense that it’s ALL important, and it’s ALL momentary.     

So here’s to enjoying every lounging moment, all the time with our loved ones and friends, and the beautiful places we get to be.  We can’t control how long we have the people we love, but we can make the most of every minute we have.  I’m drinking whiskey on the rocks as I write, and I’m toasting the moment.

Signed, ME {lv}

p.s. Total side note, but you know what the most coveted thing has been so far on this weekend?  The PJ Salvage charcoal luxe blanket that I had bought and threw in the car last minute because I thought someone might want to sleep in the car.  Well, turns out this house we're renting has no throws, so Gia and Romeo have fought over that blanket which has been a cozy addition to the movies, fire and big overstuffed leather chairs.

Guest Room Obsession

Over a year ago, way back in 2018, Todd and I sold our first house we lived in together. Then, we couldn't find another house right away - and if I'm being completely honest, didn't want to be stressed out with selling a house and buying at the same time. Plus, the market was super good for selling, not so much for buying, and everyone kept saying the bubble will pop and things will go down, which would put us in a great spot to buy, but that never happened - so we lived with my parents. For OVER a year. Yes. You read that right, let that sink in. I actually really enjoyed it, and realized I was finding a lot of things wrong with perfectly great houses because I didn't want to move out. haha. Todd and I had the downstairs master bedroom, which was pretty spacious, and had a walk in closet, its own bathroom, etc. So it was kind of like living in a studio apartment because we had our own (crowded) space. The only difference was my mom made dinner every night, and if we worked all day and then went to dinner and drinks with friends after work, there was someone built in to automatically to let our dog out when needed. Oh, and Cindy (my young, young high school aged sister) cleaned our room (almost) every weekend. I mean, we had to pay her, but it was pretty deluxe. Why would we ever want to move out? Plus, we all learned a lot about each other. I think living with your parents after you're an adult and have lived on your own is a totally different ball game. But, that's for a different blog post (or maybe at least half a dozen - a lot to say on that topic! ha).

 

All of that to say, that before we even sold our old house, I was itching for a new house for quite a while. I had several strong reasons  I would pester Todd with over and over again trying to get him to agree to sell. One of my (less convincing) arguments was that I wanted a guest room. Of allllllll the things, I wanted that. Bad. I have to admit, I didn't really realize how strange that sounds until I wrote it out just now!  I mean, I've said it a million times to Todd and my family, and I think they only listen to half of what I say, so maybe they never caught that part, but I've been over the top excited to have a guest room. We had two spare rooms in our old house, but one was used for an office/storage room for all the heirloom family furniture I was hoarding to use in our next house, and the other was my crafting/sewing room. There is also the small detail that no one has ever stayed with us. Ever. Like not even they would have stayed with us but didn't because we didn't have a designated room for them. Our families are both from the area and when friends come to visit, they usually stay with their families. 

 

Anyways, now I have a guest room. And it seriously brings me so much joy! Maybe I need to talk to my therapist about this, or have someone analyze this obsession for me, and only tell me why I "needed" this if its good news. ;) We leave tomorrow morning for a long weekend with 2 other couples, and I have had so much fun getting the room set up for our house sitter. Todd said she won't care enough to make how much time and energy I've poured into each detail, but I'm doing this for me. Self love. :) 

 

There are still things I want to do like get a plant or two, wallpaper, paint, get a rug, do some drapes, kind of all the bigger things. But a huge feat was completing the quilt on the bed. That's my pride and joy. Its a classic and traditional pattern, but I shrank down the block size, so there are a TON of tiny pieces, and it took for freaking ever - but now I feel so accomplished looking at it, and love how it turned out. I've been stalking this local florist that makes dried flower wreaths when she has extras left over, and thought they would be perfect above a guest room bed. Yes, I did buy these one at a time as I could get my hands on them over the time we lived with my parents. We didn't have a house of our own, but I had a lot of things and ideas for this new, unknown house. haha. And the antique bench was my Grandma's, and a perfect
setting for my favorite merino wool blanket I knitted years ago. I think it will be a nice landing spot for a guests suitcase as well. The night stand was also my Grandma's, and I love how unique it is. All the curves and notches and details. I've been hanging on to it for several years, and at one point took a bunch of wine out of the garage fridge and set it on that table to make room for all the Thanksgiving food prep, and as the wine warmed up, there was condensation, and it totally sank in deep rings to a really pretty table top. :( I sanded the top, splashed some metallic paint on there, and I like the slightly modern update it gives it. I do understand that it goes against all interior design rules to have the bed pushed up against the window like that, but that's Winston's favorite spot to look out, and since he has logged more hours in that room than anyone else, ever, I feel like he is deserving of getting a comfortable spot to lay and keep an eye on the house, and what happens outside of it, while we're gone. The garage is right below this bedroom and it is beyond adorable to see his head pop up when he hears me drive home and click the garage open.

 

So that's my guest room so far. And the story behind it. It's currently the most styled room in my house, and the first (and only) nails I have put in a wall - meaning we've lived here for maybe 5 months or so now, and literally have nothing on the walls yet. To say it feels sterile would be an understatement. But now that I have a good chunk of my dream guest room out of the way, maybe I can focus on something else now. ;)

 

Signed, ME {lv}

 

So Much Love We Could Burst

This time, I really am keeping this short and sweet.  I just want to express a little love, since it's love day after all.  

Love for my kids, who keep me laughing and pulling my hair out on a regular basis. I had to pick Lucia up at the high school in the middle of the day, and drive her home to poop in her own bathroom because she simple could not do it at the high school.  Seriously, if that's not funny (and extremely inconvenient and annoying), I'm not sure what is.

Love for John who's unflappable peace of mind and goofy humor allow me to keep a good perspective.  25 years together and I'm not sick of him yet, which seems like a good sign.

Love for myself.  Yep, that's right.  Myself.  I can finally say at age 31....ok, I mean 48, that I love myself, and I've done a pretty good job of letting go of the self loathing of my youth.  Self love is so important, it's the foundation for everything we can and will love in the world.  

Love for yoga, which is one of my favorite things to do in the world. I'm so lucky to have found it and I know how cheesy that sounds, but it's also so true.  It's changed my life.

Love for Melange and all the amazing people I've met over all the years (nearly 20 if you you can believe).  I feel so lucky to have had so many amazing women touch my life thru this job.  It blows my mind on a regular basis. 

Love and appreciation for the fact that I have a warm cozy house and healthy food to eat.  I'm thankful for that every single day and know how lucky I am that I don't worry about having the necessities. 

Love for my country, that despite being in crisis, is still the most amazing country in the world (and I say that having a LOT of love for a LOT of countries out there.) 

Love for my friends, without whom no amount of therapy would be able to prop me up.  I feel privileged to have a circle of friends with whom I feel completely comfortable and completely supported and I don't ever take that for granted because it's a gift.

Love for my dog, who never complains about being stuck with a family that ignores him most of the time, doesn't walk him enough, and complains about his large body regularly (he really does need to go on a massive diet though.)

So that's it.  I hope everyone today takes a moment to make their love list, because it's a sweet day to remember all that you love.  It's also a really great day for treating yourself to chocolate, flowers, red wine, and oh yeah, even a little Melange shopping.

oxoxox

Signed, ME {lv}

Telomeres, Waxed Canvas Totes, Health Vibes & BO

I’ve got a lot to say, but I’m going to try and make it short and sweet (which just means it’ll be slightly shorter than a novel.)

First, I went to yoga this morning and I almost died.  Not from the class itself, but from SOMEONE in the class with the most alarming body odor ever.  I could not for the life of me figure out where it was coming from.  It was so strong at first I thought, with genuine alarm, “could that be ME??”  So I spent a good chunk of time analyzing that possibility.  First, would you even smell yourself?  I mean, if it was THAT bad, wouldn’t you notice it….OR would be the opposite, maybe you don’t even notice it the way you don’t notice that your house smells like a dog when you own a dog?  That was my first contemplation.  I had been using John’s deodorant because I ran out weeks ago and have been uncommitted with which direction to go (Megababe again, or something else?)  As my mind is racing I'm considering the fact that maybe men's deodorant doesn't work on women?  This is how crazy I was getting.  Anyway, I confirmed there was no way it was me, but the smell was so overpowering at times I honestly thought I might have to leave.   A rather traumatic, and not very peaceful, yoga class.  My yoga take away was this: make sure you wear deodorant. 

My focus today (and anyone reading this please focus all your health energy on this too) is on my dear friend who is going in for testing today.  She had cancer last year, beat it after a grueling chemo round, and has been clear since but they saw a suspicious spot on her lung in her last scan, and then she has some symptoms that make me entirely too nervous.  I’ve been trying to channel lots of good energy her way all week.  She’s the most amazing person, and I think of her as family (an older and wiser sister….she could probably technically be my mom if she had me at in her teens.)  She’s definitely given me enough guidance to be a mom, she’s one wise woman.   I’m nervous though, it would be devastating to hear anything but good news.  

Because I love to pivot from the serious to the frivolous (and let's face it, life is a weird combo of both), I will do so by saying that my Newton Supply field tote that I recently bought is quickly becoming my favorite thing ever. That waxed canvas gets better as it wears in, it takes on this cool patina as it creases and gets tumbled. It's even on sale--even better.

Lastly, I have been known to go down many-o-rabbit hole regarding health, longevity, eating for health etc. I don’t waste time on Instagram, or facebook, but I do waste a crap-ton of time reading about health stuff online….and also in books (but is that really wasting?)  Right now I’m knee deep in the book, The Telomere Effect.  In a nutshell, telomeres sit at the end of your chromosomes.  They can be short, or long.  You want long ones because that is what keeps you young and healthy. The book tries to sum up all the ways our telomeres gets shortened so that we can stop doing that, and start doing the stuff that keeps them long and keeps us young.  Since I want to live forever, AND would prefer to do it looking wrinkle free and perpetually 40, I like to deep dive into all of this. 

Pessimism is not good for telomeres, but mindfulness and focus IS good.  I won’t bore you with all the details of why those are both true, but unitasking and keeping my mind from wandering like a monkey are attributed with longer telomeres.  I was just saying the other day to my friend when I was talking about the Moment  app (that tracks how much I pick up and use my phone each day), that my one goal out of it was just to try and condense my usage, not necessarily limit it, but condense it so I’m not constantly flitting around from thing to think.   So far I haven’t improved, but I’ve definitely confirmed that I suck and pick up my phone WAY too much.  I haven’t been disciplined enough to try and limit my “check in’s” on the phone to hourly (which is absolutely enough, but my self control and ability to let go of the concept that I need to know everything right this second, is real, real bad.). First step is recognizing your addiction right? I do really want to stop involuntarily multi-tasking.

I'm excited for Valentine's Day.  Prepping my love gifts today, can't wait for our all heart dinner (yes, silly tradition with the kids where dinner involves only heart shaped foods).  

Signed, ME {lv}

Split Seconds & Chick Pea Puff Fingers

I was reminded today in a good way, how things can be one way, and then seconds later completely different. This concept is often driven home in very hard and painful ways.  One minute you are healthy, the next not. One minute a loved one is with you, the next not.  It’s almost a gripping fear when you realize how fragile the current moment really is. You want to hold on to all the good stuff that you have, to protect it from changing.

Likewise, some things can be tough, and feel hopeless, and then the next moment SO much less so.  You want to let go of all the painful, tough stuff, but it feels like it’ll be stuck to you indefinitely.  Your gripping fear is that you will NEVER be able to get rid of it.

What makes me ponder this?….My dear friend, after a divorce, followed by another long term relationship that ended, was feeling discouraged.  The dating world is overwhelming at age 53, and online dating (from all accounts) is not only time consuming, but stressful, and challenges the confidence of even the most secure people.  She had mustered up the courage to do some online dating, and put herself out there despite feeling totally uncomfortable about it.  She alerted all her friends to keep an eye out for a “good guy” because personal introductions always trump trying to connect with random people online. We all kept a look out, but awesome single men?  Seems like a rare bird.

So this has gone on for months now, and she’s incredibly smart and working on all kinds of cool things in her life, but feeling the void of not dating someone special, or not having a companion weighed on her.  She hadn't met one single person that even sparked the tiniest of interest.  Then out of the blue, on a day that was allotted to a volunteer opp for her kids, in the most unlikely of settings, she met someone that she connected with on all levels instantly. So just like that, she’s reminded that indeed, there are men out there that get you excited to actually date.  We’ll have to see if it continues, but right now it seems perfect (he’s smart, funny, successful, and super cute…..a rare bird indeed.) 

So really, the reminder (at least to me) is that there is promise in anything that you are currently discouraged with that feels like it’s stuck to you.  Things can change so quickly.  You are single, until all of a sudden you aren’t.  You don’t have a job, until all of a sudden you find the right one.  You work on losing weight and your fitness and you don’t notice the improvement until one day you look in the mirror and it hits you—you DO look great.

We have to balance the fear of losing what we love, and fear of keeping what we don’t want.  Tricky business for sure.

Also, I had a thought today, about how much time people must waste trying to interpret all the online interactions we have now.  Texts, posts, messages....there's so much room for error.  I was messengering back and forth today with Amanda, and at the same time I was eating these delicious chick pea puffs.  She would be texting, I could see the bubble indicating she was typing, and during that time I'd have to grab more of the chick pea puffs, BUT they were messy, so after grabbing them and munching away, and reading her text, I wanted to respond, but my delays were looooonnnnngggg, because of the chick pea puff seasoning I had to lick off my fingers.  As I was sticking my germ ridden fingers into my mouth I was contemplating the fact that Amanda must have been sitting there waiting for me to reply, and wondering WHY there were such long pauses, and probably even wondering if they meant something.  I know I've done that, where I've texted someone, I can see them start to reply and then nothing...and then I obsess about why they didn't.  Maybe they aren't sure whether to invite me?  Maybe they thought my question was rude?  Maybe they thought my comment is annoying?   Just a general observation, but I'm thinking we all waste more time than we think trying to interpret all this online correspondence. 

Lastly, and totally unrelated, we start our crazy good sale on sale today.  I recently bought a couple of amazing Anni Kuan steals that I love (the Urban shirt I've already worn, why this was on sale is beyond me), plus I bought the Lilla P. striped shorts because it'll be short weather before we know it and even though I can't imagine putting my legs into them now, I'm thinking in about 4 months I'll feel very different.  

Signed, ME {lv}

Little Things Appreciation

With Lauren talking about the message in her yoga class, and the "mindless mundane", I got excited and wanted to share my new mindless and mundane (but exciting!) treat. I have been told (and take it as a total compliment), that I can find joy in the small things. Maybe its a special talent? Or I've subconsciously practiced and perfected making a big deal out of the smallest of things. Good? Bad? Well, it depends on who you ask and when (like Todd, when we're in the middle of an argument), but I do know that I can get very excited about a $5.99 bottle of red blend from Costco being really good, or finally remembering to buy my favorite cheese, spreading it on a ritz, and watching an episode of The Office and feeling on top of the world. It's the little things, right? 

 

Well, as you know, we just got the Child perfume in, and I was instantly obsessed with it. But sometimes I can be fickle with scents, and just kept using the tester to put it on the last few days. I realized I was getting excited to wake up, and go to work to splash that on. So this morning I finally bought it, and I am SO excited to put it on my vanity, and incorporate it into my morning routine. The packaging is adorable - its going to look great on my tray, and it smells amazing. Now I get to not only get to experience the joy of putting it on my vanity, and making it look cute, but I also get the joy of putting it on every morning, and having one small and simple thing that makes me feel super glam. Its also super nice to catch the little scent of the fragrance throughout the day. Its smells so good, and is a reminder of the simple joys.

 

**Also note, I am equally as obsessed with the Rosie Jane Leila Lou perfume oil (well, all of her scents really, but this one smells just like one of the resorts we've stayed at in Hawaii, so it wins just for that). So the Child perfume will have a new home next to that, and maybe we'll have an every other day rotation? Or base it off of mood? We'll have to see how it goes, but I know I'll have fun during the deciding process. ;)

 

So there you have it, I have (successfully?) completed a blog post talking about the mindless and mundane, but talking about the mindless and mundane that has already been talked about!! 

 

I think its super important to really enjoy every moment, of everyday, no matter how mindless and mundane, or even annoying and aggravating. The other day we ran out of dog food, and it was just a super inconvenient time and day to run out - the day was jam packed, and of course the specific dog food he needs is on the other side of town. It was a whole thing. But how awesome is it that I even have a dog that I get to buy food for? And, that I'm able to drive across town to buy his high maintenance food? Crank up a favorite song, and enjoy the moment. I'm grateful that I get to even have a dog - my dream dog none the less! And that I can buy his special food - even when its not on the agenda. Whatever it is, I promise there is a way to find something to be grateful for, and find joy in that moment. I hate doing laundry...but I love my clothes, and that I have a washer and dryer in my house, and that I can take the time to wash a small load of just my light pink items together so the colors don't get tinted, and not have to worry about going to a laundry mat, or not having clothes that I don't love enough to want to care about them! I think that's pretty awesome right there - but that's just me. :)

 

Signed, ME {AT}

Church Yoga & Losing My Car

Ava recently go her license (just about a week ago).  She’s 17, so she’s waited a long time to get it because we forced her to take a 3 month driving course and rack up loads of driving experience.  She’s still only an ok driver (on a good day).  I am not entirely sure I’ve ever driven with her when I haven’t feared for my life at least once.  

So now that she’s officially in possession of a card that says she’s “allowed to drive” (the state licensing system must be fundamentally flawed), she’s basically begging to drive ALL the time.  Ultimately we’ll buy a third family car, but the thought of her having easy access to a lethal weapon right now seems like a very bad idea.  So meanwhile, she’s begging to drive our cars.  My car is the smaller of the two, so it’s probably safer to drive for her and maneuver in the city and into parking spots etc.  She borrowed it today, and I gave her a very specific window of time she could use it, and then she blew thru that car curfew and brought it back an hour late claiming, “I thought it didn’t matter because you had dad’s car.”  All I know is that this is going to be TORTURE from start to finish.  I know it’s a “learning” time and I’m supposed to be patient and all that, but still, it’s horrible and I pretty much dislike every minute. I worry the entire time she has the car on the road, it’s going to take years off my life, AND I’m basically losing my car every other minute which is not a little inconvenient.

On a brighter note, I took John to my church yoga class Sunday morning at 8:30 with my favorite instructor.  It was a really hard class, with some crazy balancing moves that were hard for experience yogis.  Twisted half moon?  There were like 20 of them.  John was totally lost, and every time I happened to notice him he looked like he might topple over, and/or he was doing a very, VERY distant cousin of the actual pose. Still, he liked the class a lot, and that made me happy.  The message today I thought was fitting for me, because I literally was just complaining about my mundane, crazy boring day.  The offering today was two things, to seek things out that make you uncomfortable or challenge you because those are the moments and memories that are most valuable to us.  The other aspect of his sermon was about being present in the mundane aspects of our lives, and how much work it takes to actually do that. It’s a huge challenge, but when you can be present during all those countless “mindless and mundane” things we elevate them. I've got a lot of those mundane moments, so I'm going to really try hard this week to be less cranky about them, and more appreciate of the moments themselves.

What I also know is that we finally got Makana candle restock, and I'm so happy because I've burned thru my secret stash of them (I have to hide them from Ava & Lucia because they like to steal them.)  They all smell so delicious, and I love the smaller size we carry because it's the perfect size for the bathroom, or little places here and there.  It's also a great size (and price) for an easy little gift for your girlfriends (Valentine's Day treat anyone?)

Happy Monday!

Signed, ME {lv}

Surprises, Good & Bad

I went to bed last night late because of some teenage-dick-around-ing with the curfew (the requests to push it 'just another 10 minutes' went on for an hour), plus I had what may have been 1-4 glass of wine (I was at a dinner party and the host was so smooth I barely noticed my glass being filled up again and again, but I feel like I drank a lot and never had an empty glass which is not a good sign.)  So due to the above two things, I was not hopeful for a good night's sleep.  However, it turns out my sleep was just dandy, until 4 a.m. when I was yanked out of a deep, hard sleep, to the sound of our house alarm going off.  I was so tired, I couldn't even think very clearly.  I grabbed my glasses and my phone so I could turn off the system and rushed downstairs (along with John).  In the back of my mind I was already getting agitated that one of the girls had tried to sneak out of the house setting off the alarm, it never occurred to me that it might have been a serial killer breaking in to chop us into pieces. Good thing it wasn't.

What I found downstairs was Ava who, in her 4 a.m. shuffle to the kitchen to get water, managed to knock down a large metal tumbler from the cabinet which made a clanging sound that fooled the alarm system into thinking someone had broken glass.  SURPRISE.  That's hard to recover from, there is no returning to deep sleep after that adrenaline rush.

Then later in the day John walked in from running errands, he plunked a gallon of milk on the table, put a bag of groceries on the bar and then out of the grocery bag he pulled out a new Apple Watch for me. SURPRISE!  Mine broke a couple of weeks ago.  It just quit  working (granted it was OLD), but I really missed it yet stopped short of going to the Apple store and buying a new one (I get sticker shock and find all tech purchases  traumatizing.) 

So here's to surprises, the good kind.  Valentine's Day is coming up, and it's the perfect time to send out thoughtful little surprises to those you love.  I just bought Julie Mollo clutches for the older girls, and a bunch of bath bombs for Gia.  My plan is to make little baskets of fun stuff for each of the kids.  Still need to find little surprises for Romeo though, sadly for me I don't think there is anything at Melange he'd want (that would make my life TOO easy.)  

Signed, ME {lv}

 

 

 

Too Boring To Talk About

I have a lot of days where someone will ask me how my day was, or what I did (this happens with John all the time), and I honestly can’t imagine reciting the mundane crap I did because they can’t really want to know that stuff right?  I think that’s why I like writing so much, you can’t see the person’s eyes glaze over or the look of boredom when you explain that you did 4 loads of laundry, got gas, cleaned out the fridge, picked up a skirt for you kid and mulled over sizing for a solid 25 minutes, went to the pharmacy to try and investigate perimenopausal supplements (which made you want to shoot yourself), and picked up the house (because somehow if you don’t do that everything just progressively gets more out of order and chaos is only days away.) No one wants to hear all that really. Usually I’ll go to answer John’s question, literally opening my mouth slowly with a pregnant pause, then promptly close it and declare, "it’s too boring to talk about.

Today was that kind of day. Nothing terrible, just a lot of mundane stuff that needed to get done.  It can’t be avoided, but it’s also painfully boring stuff.  I wish I could say I found the cure for the coronavirus, wrote a novel, or invented a life changing app.  No, I just managed to finish laundry and that included rewashing the table cloth and getting out the spaghetti stains that didn’t get out the first time.  Ugh…even writing it is killing me with boredom.

I barely made it thru yoga class this morning because for some reason it was twice as hard as it was on Monday (same sequence, same teacher).  This time I had to back off several times for fear of passing out. Her messaging was all about determination (which was essentially the same message as Monday), but was totally appropriate because it actually took a crap-ton of determination to make it thru the class. 

Gia has a dance tonight, so her and her two friends are going, and this morning was all about the drama of what she could wear because “she had nothing”.  I think basically we all feel that way from middle school onward.  It's when the, 'what the hell am I going to wear' starts?  Nothing ever seems right. 

I’m putting my “chill” essential oil in my diffuser and I’m going to just relish in the fact that it’s Friday, and the work week is behind us.  I'm also gong to relish in the new Swahilli Coast beaded bracelets that came in today-- which are fantastic.  The last group sold so quickly, so we got a large restock of styles and a bunch of new styles in as well.  They are so pretty stacked up, the hardest part honestly is picking which ones are your favorite. Love these, they are so well made, sturdy feeling and totally unique!

Signed, ME {lv} 

Smell Like A Goddess

Seriously, the new Child Perfume is amazing.  I can't even begin to give it enough praise.  I've been wearing it for 18+  years, and recently a friend tried to appropriate it, and I was bummed for awhile and tried to experiment with new scents, but I will always have this in my arsenal of smells.  

It's floral, but super rich and exotic, and because it's a rollerball with oil it warms up on the skin and takes on a unique "just for you" smell as it reacts to your skin and body heat.  It actually stays on too because of the oil factor.  I put it at the base of my neck at the back, cleavage and I've been even known to dot the armpits.  You start heating up and you smell delicious.  Apparently it's known as the scent that drives men wild.  

I also love that it's totally affordable, and last a LONG time...AND you can throw it in your handbag and do a quick refresh on the fly.

That's it, hope I've convinced everyone of its awesomeness.  What I haven't tried yet (but I can't wait to own) is the rich body cream.  I'm all about layering a scent to that you just smell like it head to toe and this would definitely do the trick.  I'm also a sucker for rich body cream.  Apparently it's pretty amazing according to those in the know.

Lastly, happy Friday people.  It's been a week, but we made it.  I will leave you with one parting word from my yoga instructor this morning: "if you don't choose the time to relax your body, your body will choose for you."   So take care of yourself, give yourself some down time this weekend!

Signed, ME {lv}

Car Butt, Polar Express & Froggy Destresses

You know those days that move along like a breeze, where you are floating on clouds, everything works like clockwork, your skin is perfect, your outfit adorable, the kids are healthy, your husband isn’t bugging you, birds chirp and the sun shines?  Well, this was just like that, but the exact opposite.  Ugh, seriously, not sure what was in the air but Wednesday takes the award for craptastic day of 2020 so far.  Was it a full moon?

I won’t bore you with all the details, but I’ll give you the briefest of highlights so you can adequately sense my pain.  Ava decided to sleep thru her alarm feigning some illness (that only kept her home until 11:30, after which time she got dressed and went to school—I drove her adding to my list of drives.) Gia felt well enough to go back to school but started machine gun texting me at 9:30 a.m. to be picked up at 10:45 because essentially her “friends” said she couldn’t sit with them at lunch due to some pre-planned lunch activity that she wasn’t privy too since she’d been out with the flu for two days.  Those little…..  

So she was upset, wanted to come home during lunch, and not only was it 20 minutes there and back, it was also heart breaking to hear her talk about it.  On the way to get her I logged in to the store cameras to see who was working....oh, look at that, it's 10:30 and the store is DARK.  Literally every owner or manager's worst nightmare, the morning shift person was a no-show.  That little episode took a year off my life--and that's conservative.  A crisis I didn't see coming, sneak attack crisis.

Lucia texted me at 1:30 with dramatic complaints of her "killer period", so then I had to pick her up.  Then it was on to pick up Romeo, then Ava again, and then Gia again.  Normally I would just be picking Gia up at the bus stop a mile away, but because the day was out to get me, she called (along with her frienemy from the earlier saga), and announced that the bus driver didn't let them on the bus because it was "too full."   If you are counting, that's my THIRD trip to a school 20 minutes away.   Honestly, I have car butt today from sitting so long in the car, I could feel my hips getting bigger.

The brightest spot of my day was coming home after I picked Romeo up, and he declared he was “going poop ASAP”—which he does daily at exactly the same time.  He’s also declared that no matter HOW bad he has to go during school, he’ll never actually GO at school. Is there a psychological term for a fear of pooping in public??  Anyway, he got home, and shouted that he was going to do his business, and then 5 minutes later I hear coming out of bathroom the sound of him singing, and not so quietly, the hot chocolate theme song from Polar Express.  What the hell?  Where does that even come from out of the blue?  It was HYSTERICAL though, and lifted my spirits.

Lastly, I texted my dear friend a picture of yoga froggy trying to destress in shivasana, but he had to put a wrap around his eyes to mellow out.  That’s because froggy never closes his eyes, which is how I feel right now, like my eyes have been tooth-picked open all day and all I want to do is to close them and drift off into my shivasana.

Real life comes in between all the fun stuff at Melange--you heard the real life part, now on to the fun stuff--like the cool new Sarah Liller group that arrived today.  I do love her fabrics—and I will say that I’ve tried and tested them all (machine washed and accidently super hot dried), and it still looks great.  It’s one of my favorite travel fabrics.  Check out the new icy blue top to the right, the Petunia, that is actually a new gauze fabric that she did this spring and it feels like sunshine—light and airy and wonderful.  

Signed, ME {lv}

Going Your Own Road, Phantom of The Opera, & New Bags

I’m just going to give a shout out here to those out there comfortable enough to just DO. THEIR. OWN. THING.  I have a renewed love for all people who just take it upon themselves to zig when other zag, and do what they need to do for themselves.  I ponder this because I realized this morning in yoga that I’ve been taking classes with this woman next to me about two years. I’ve only recently learned her name, because (and I’m embarrassed to admit this), I was a super judge-y yogi and was kind of irritated by her.  Why?  Well, because I have never known her to actually “take” the class in the classic sense. She comes in, grabs a lot of props, and basically does her own class, she might take a cue here and there from the teacher, but by in large she goes at her own pace, does her own stretches, and you’d almost think was literally taking a different class by what she was physically doing.  Sometimes she even seemed to dance and sway with the music.  Granted, it’s good music, but still.  Of course I’m being super stereotypical too, because to me she looked the part of a yoga class attendee, so I expected such.  She’s dressed in cool yoga clothes, had all the equipment, she’s was put together, pretty, not really old, not really young….basically she looks like someone who should be doing the class like everyone else.  How terrible is that for me to say?  (I’ll admit, if she came in looking like a hippy from the ‘60’s, with long undone hair, beads everywhere and flowy clothes,, I would have maybe “gotten” the whole thing better.) The Lulu Lemon and cute yoga bag threw me off and made me think things should be a certain way.

 It grated on my nerves, and I can’t really say why exactly. I think for a long time in the beginning of my practice I was much more aware of people next to me, and less in my “own zone” than I am now.  I would look over at her and she’d be doing something completely different and I couldn’t help but think, “why bother coming to class if you are going to ignore the teacher?”  I was also probably irritated because her separateness threw me off, I lost my place as a result.  I was doing exactly what you AREN’T suppose to do in class, comparing myself and looking at my neighbor.

Well, fast forward to now, and I honestly barely notice her physical movements.  I’m concentrating on my own junk, and the external things don’t mess with me off as much.  Plus now I have come around to a new way of thinking, which is KUDOS to her for coming to class so diligently, and doing what she needed to do for herself!  Now I think she’s super cool (and not just because I introduced myself and found out she IS in fact super cool.)  Every single instructor is always pushing the concept that you take what you need, leave what you don’t.  That’s all she is going.  She’s taking the construct of the designated time, place, and hot yoga room. She’s taking the teacher's messaging, some of the physical poses, and she’s making all those things work for her in a way that actually works for her.  It’s pretty awesome really.  She doesn’t worry about what anyone thinks, or get embarrassed that her jive is different than someone elses. 

So this is just a long way of expressing my new found love of “going your own road”, even when it looks funny, even when it stands out, and even if no one else understands it.

My other highlight of the day was the fact that Romeo, when it came time to choose a new song to learn with his guitar instructor, chose the theme song from Phantom of the Opera.  Why does this make me happy?  Well, because you do all kinds of stuff for you kids, and you always wonder what, if any, will stick, or make an impression.  Half the time you do stuff and you get deflated because they most definitely DO NOT seem to make an impression (and usually you’ve spent a pile of money, and/or time which you then feel like you’ve wasted.)   

We went to Phantom of The Opera last summer in London at the Queen’s Theater.  It was a splurge, it was a late showing, it was long….all things that were making it hard for Romeo (then 8 years old), to fully process.  He seemed to really love some of it, but then did also fall asleep at the end.  I was excited that he pulled some memory up that propelled him to want to learn the music.  Something DID stick (clearly the cool music.) 

Lastly, I’m love, love, loving the boho nod from Chloe & Lex that makes me so excited to wear spring clothes and liven up the world with some color!!  This bag to the left is just whimsical and funny and everything a spring bag should!

Signed, ME {lv}

Warrior Day

Sometimes you have to just go full warrior to get thru the day.  Today was that day.  Mondays are always a push, but today followed several days of no sleep, and I still had a sick kid at home.  I just felt spent all around, and depleted.  John comes home tonight, so really the day was just about powering thru because once he's home to balance out the energy in the house, all will be good.

Having him gone was hard in odd ways this time.  Even when I wasn't driving the kids around or doing stuff for them, just having their energy in the house and feeling like I was the only one there to absorb it, that felt hard for some reason.  Plus they had friends over a lot, so you can just amp up the energy there, and noise, and again, it felt like a lot to absorb.  I don't think there is any logical reason why physically having John in the house would have changed that situation, but it feels like it does.  The other thing I hated and underestimated (which I've complained about a lot already) was the weekends and having to stay up to make sure the girls came home by curfew.  I HATE staying awake late (it's one thing if you are out at a cool dinner or bar), but just sitting at home, it was torture.  John's a night owl, and it's one of the few ways our perfectly opposite personalities actually mesh perfectly because he doesn't mind staying up for them.  Likewise, I don't mind getting up early and feeding the little kids.  

I did, despite having Gia home from school, steal away for a quick hour to go to yoga.  That was my loving act of kindness to myself.  I told her it was to sweat out any flu germs she may have given me.  Not sue if that's possible, but it sounded good.  The yoga wisdom today was the teacher's offering of "determination."  Which I felt like was perfect for me because determination requires a vision of where you want to go, and pushing thru the hard stuff--and I had both of those things (yes, on a micro level I realize, but sometimes you have to work one day at a time.)  I love yoga, sometimes it really is what holds me together.

I was also comforted by the new Prairie Underground that came today.  The Adrian tee--AMAZ-ing,  the detailing is so cool, and yet it's a classic wear-with-anything tee.  I'm leaving this pic big so you can "maybe" see the detailing.  It's a hard to describe, inset  raglan type seam, with ruching.  It's just cool looking.  Also love the neckline, it's not scooped, but it's not crew either. I want two in each color that's how much I dig it.

Signed, ME {lv} 

 

It's February, there's hope.

I see the light at the end of the winter tunnel….hello February!  We had quirky weather today, with partial sunshine, some random hailstorms, grey clouds, and full moments of sun where it looked like it really wanted to be spring. It was a promising day all around. I also realized today that it’s February 3^rd, and Valentine’s Day is around the corner so I’ve got to start planning.  Now I know Valentine’s Day is not universally loved, and yes, it gets commercialized to death and all that.  Yet, I still have a soft spot for it.  I use it as an excuse to do thoughtful little things for my friends and family, all in the name of how much I love them and who can’t help but love a holiday like that? It’s not like I do anything grand, which is why I like it so much…it’s a low pressure holiday where you have the chance to write a really nice card with mushy words.

In the immediate sense though I need to get everyone in the house thru the next week in one piece—one health piece that is.  Gia woke up in the middle of the night last night with a very high fever.  She went to bed feeling fine, just a little head cold and then at 3 a.m., not so much.  She was absolutely miserable.  I figured it was just a virus and we’d let it run it’s course, but by early evening she was burning thru a dose of Tylenol and still had a 103 degree fever.  So I took her in to express care, and sure enough, she was swabbed and has Influenza A (but not apparently one of the types covered by the flu shot this year, darn).  One Tamiflu prescription later, and she’s home, in bed, and while still miserable, at least a little closer to being less miserable.  I know how contagious it is though, so the odds are good that we will all get it by the end of the week, so I’m going to do some deep breathing, some meditation to force my mind to focus on repairing (listen, if that guy called the Ice Man can get his mind to keep his core body temp the same even when he sits in freezing water, why can’t I get my mind to fight the flu bug?)  So far I’m doubling up on the Oscillococcinum (which you probably aren’t suppose to do), and I’m crossing my fingers.

Can’t wait for the new Prairie Underground, there are some great foundational Spring pieces that I’m stalking!!  Kind of love this dress to the left (Falconette in black)--especially with cute tennis shoes right?  It comes today, stay tuned….

Signed, ME {lv}

Saturday

It’s Saturday.  Here’s what I am realizing.  My time tracking effort is, #1 a lot of work but more importantly, #2 SUPER interesting.  I feel like I do in fact have way more time than I want to admit.  In my head every minute is filled, and on paper I seem to be doing a ton, but yet there is still a really good chunk of time that is flitted away. Now, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it means I can’t really use “no time” as an excuse for not doing something because I have the time, but I’m choosing to spend it in ways that I don’t think I’d really choose if it came down to choosing one thing, vs. the other (which it always does in the end but I pretend I didn’t have the choice in the first place.)  Down time is good--absolutely necessity really--but I could be spending my down time more interestingly I think.

On a totally other note, we are getting in my favorite perfume this week, which I've worn on and off for the last 20 years...CHILD.  I can still remember buying my first bottle at Fred Segal when I lived down in L.A.   It's YUM, get excited...

Signed, ME {lv}