I was reminded today in a good way, how things can be one way, and then seconds later completely different. This concept is often driven home in very hard and painful ways. One minute you are healthy, the next not. One minute a loved one is with you, the next not. It’s almost a gripping fear when you realize how fragile the current moment really is. You want to hold on to all the good stuff that you have, to protect it from changing.
Likewise, some things can be tough, and feel hopeless, and then the next moment SO much less so. You want to let go of all the painful, tough stuff, but it feels like it’ll be stuck to you indefinitely. Your gripping fear is that you will NEVER be able to get rid of it.
What makes me ponder this?….My dear friend, after a divorce, followed by another long term relationship that ended, was feeling discouraged. The dating world is overwhelming at age 53, and online dating (from all accounts) is not only time consuming, but stressful, and challenges the confidence of even the most secure people. She had mustered up the courage to do some online dating, and put herself out there despite feeling totally uncomfortable about it. She alerted all her friends to keep an eye out for a “good guy” because personal introductions always trump trying to connect with random people online. We all kept a look out, but awesome single men? Seems like a rare bird.
So this has gone on for months now, and she’s incredibly smart and working on all kinds of cool things in her life, but feeling the void of not dating someone special, or not having a companion weighed on her. She hadn't met one single person that even sparked the tiniest of interest. Then out of the blue, on a day that was allotted to a volunteer opp for her kids, in the most unlikely of settings, she met someone that she connected with on all levels instantly. So just like that, she’s reminded that indeed, there are men out there that get you excited to actually date. We’ll have to see if it continues, but right now it seems perfect (he’s smart, funny, successful, and super cute…..a rare bird indeed.)
So really, the reminder (at least to me) is that there is promise in anything that you are currently discouraged with that feels like it’s stuck to you. Things can change so quickly. You are single, until all of a sudden you aren’t. You don’t have a job, until all of a sudden you find the right one. You work on losing weight and your fitness and you don’t notice the improvement until one day you look in the mirror and it hits you—you DO look great.
We have to balance the fear of losing what we love, and fear of keeping what we don’t want. Tricky business for sure.
Also, I had a thought today, about how much time people must waste trying to interpret all the online interactions we have now. Texts, posts, messages....there's so much room for error. I was messengering back and forth today with Amanda, and at the same time I was eating these delicious chick pea puffs. She would be texting, I could see the bubble indicating she was typing, and during that time I'd have to grab more of the chick pea puffs, BUT they were messy, so after grabbing them and munching away, and reading her text, I wanted to respond, but my delays were looooonnnnngggg, because of the chick pea puff seasoning I had to lick off my fingers. As I was sticking my germ ridden fingers into my mouth I was contemplating the fact that Amanda must have been sitting there waiting for me to reply, and wondering WHY there were such long pauses, and probably even wondering if they meant something. I know I've done that, where I've texted someone, I can see them start to reply and then nothing...and then I obsess about why they didn't. Maybe they aren't sure whether to invite me? Maybe they thought my question was rude? Maybe they thought my comment is annoying? Just a general observation, but I'm thinking we all waste more time than we think trying to interpret all this online correspondence.
Lastly, and totally unrelated, we start our crazy good sale on sale today. I recently bought a couple of amazing Anni Kuan steals that I love (the Urban shirt I've already worn, why this was on sale is beyond me), plus I bought the Lilla P. striped shorts because it'll be short weather before we know it and even though I can't imagine putting my legs into them now, I'm thinking in about 4 months I'll feel very different.
Signed, ME {lv}