Me in Melange

Living In The Now

I'm trying to work on things to keep me de-stressed.  It's way too easy to let the news sweep you away, and the fear of the "what if" sweep you away.  Share your little de-stressing techniques with us, we can all use them.

 After I did my yoga class this morning online (with my favorite guru teacher), my big takeaway was that even during all of this, we have to be asking ourselves, "what am I doing today to push myself towards who I want to be and how I want to live".  There is no "pause" button on life while a disaster happens.  This is still life happening and we all still need to focus on the NOW.  No, none of us have days that look like we thought they would look a month ago, but they are what they are, so how can we find joy, satisfaction and hope from them despite everything?  

That's my goal.  It's not easy though, I am the first to admit it takes real work on my part NOT to dive into panic and media overload.  But what if today was our last day?  Or tomorrow?  Or this week, or this month?  Do we really want to spend our precious time waiting for "real life to start" while we ooze stress from every pore of our bodies?  Not me.  So today I did my awesome yoga class, suffered thru most of a 20 minute Peloton strength training with John (they are free for 90 days), walked outside, read my book (I'm almost half way thru American Dirt--it's very gripping).  I helped make a big family dinner, called a couple of friends, texted a bunch more, and tried to keep the offering from yoga class in the front of my mind.  

We don't know what will happen tomorrow, or the next.  That's just the fact.  What we do know is that we have right now to do the things that better us, make us happy, make us feel good, and enrich us.   Most of experience is your personal perception of it, some people are eternally optimistic, and some people eternally pessimistic.  I tend to fall in the middle, with a heavy leaning toward optimism.  What I do know is that I can perceive these weeks (maybe months) of changed life as a prison, or I can choose to make them fun in some ways, choose to make them special in some ways, and choose to work on myself, help others and enjoy the things I am able to do.

I'm concentrating on that.

Meanwhile, I've just spilled my tea, which is no doubt going to take HOURS to pull out of my cream and light grey throw rug.  How fortunate I have the time to do that right now.  Silver linings.

Signed, ME {lv}

Binge Watching & Green Overload

It's been awhile since I've really watched any show that was interesting enough to warrant binge watching with my limited time.  But let's face it, most of us have a bit more time on our hands so binge watching something sounds a lot more attractive.  John and I started "Killing Eve" a few nights ago and that's pretty entertaining.  Dark and violent, but entertaining and interesting.  I think the last thing we watched before that was "The Stranger" which was also a good one season show (sort of like a lot of those True Detective type series that carry the storyline just one season).  Curious to see what other people are watching so I can make a list!

Today was a genuinely boring Saturday, which in normal times would feel luxurious and wonderful.   Now it felt a little disconcerting to be honest.  I slept horribly last night and had the worst nightmare ever.  I dreamt that John, after 25 years of marriage (we are actually. about to celebrate our 25th anniversary), announced that he wanted a divorce because he decided he was going to run off with someone.  Anyway, it was horrible because in my dream I was devastated, and so genuinely distraught that I was exhausted when I woke up.

The other thing that broke up my sleep was Ava who walked into our room at 3 a.m. and in a regular, loud and unapologetic voice declared we needed to "take her to the hospital IMMEDIATELY".  Now, if it was anyone else I would have bolted out of bed and been putting my clothes on before they uttered another word, but because it was Ava I stayed in bed and calmly replied, "I doubt it, what's up".  Well, she was convinced that between the hours of 11 p.m. and 3 a.m. her appendix had gone from just fine to infected and about to burst.   No joke.  Her side hurt and according to her it was gravely serious.  We told her she just had gas and to go back to bed and wake us up if she was still in unbelievable pain in two hours.  Ava has John's hypochondriac gene, and she's super, SUPER dramatic.  Any issue, and she's near death...until something distracts her and then she's perfectly fine.  She slept until 11 a.m. and when I saw her in the kitchen I asked her how her side was and her relpy was, "oh fine, the infection went away".   She's crazy.

Besides doing my yoga class (and yes, I'm maintaining my first thing in the morning sun salutations. and media hold off), we went on a walk, read (started a new book "American Dirt"), did a little work, texted people, and looked up recipes for all the greens I have from my organic delivery box.  They  are starting to pile up and I've got to move into double speed to try and find recipes for things like chard, and collard greens (which I just rarely cook).  If you open my. fridge it's like an explosion of veggies.  That's probably why the kids keep complaining that there is no food.  The only bad deal is that these farm veggies wilt and get unhappy looking real fast, so it's a race to find ways to use them while they are looking spry.

Tonight I used a bunch of my very weird looking kale (some variety that I just don't see often), and I sauteed it with onions, garlic, then added white beans, diced tomatoes, Italian seasonings, salt & pepper and it was GOOD.  I feel like I'm doing an unnatural amount of eating right now.  I'm trying to chalk it up to healthy and somehow a little anti-viral protection.  

Signed, ME {lv}

Post Quarantine Queens

It's Friday!! Usually I love Fridays - anyone who knows me knows how much I love Fridays, and talking about plans for Fridays. I know its cliche, but they're my favorite day of the week. People are generally in great moods, you have the whole weekend of possibilities to look forward to, and you've made it thru the week. I LOVE having plans on Friday night. They don't have to be extravagant, but I need something. Making a good dinner at home with one of the special bottles of wine, going out with friends, trying a new restaurant, anything. As I kid, we ate out every Friday night. My dad loves eating out, and my mom was tired of cooking, so it was the perfect solution. I think growing up with that routine, its ingrained in me that you do SOMETHING on Friday night. But now its Quarantine Friday, and despite my eternal optimism and best efforts, its not the same. I hit a little bit of a wall tonight while eating leftovers, standing in the kitchen, in sweats. I mean, cute sweats, but sweats. This isn't what Friday night is supposed to be. Sometimes its nice to have a low key Friday night, but that has literally been all of the last 7 nights. I'm itching for some social interaction, and cool environment, food I didn't make, and an exciting outfit (although I'm not sure I could fit into it at this point). My therapist has diagnosed my as an introverted extrovert (or was it extroverted introvert??), I need my time alone to have down time, create, regroup my thoughts, and have space. But I also thrive with social interactions and need connections to feel fulfilled. Well, I've had enough solo time - I need some social time!!

 

Well, my dear friend Carina (I'm sure some of you know who she is! She's Melange part of the Melange crew and does a lot on the website) set up a group message with Barbara and I, and its been a life saver. I have to say, that Carina is AWESOME. She has gone from an employee I kind of thought I regretted hiring at first, to a dear, dear friend that I can't imagine not having in my life. In her interview, she asked me about the dress code, and I explained what it was, and I said, "does that make sense?" and she replied with, "I'm always Instagram ready so that shouldn't be a problem." She had the most deadpan expression, and I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic, or genuinely meant that - I had the hardest time keeping a straight face. But she wasn't wrong, she IS always Instagram ready, no matter how funny that sounds. ;) It's a bold statement to make, but she lived up to it. There isn't one thing you can put in front of Carina that she can't do, and excel at. She is funny, hardworking, creative, artistic, and so much more, but I just wrote her a letter of recommendation for grad school and I feel like her head grew two sizes after that, so I'll stop there for now. ;) Anyways, Carina is the best, and one of the most incredible people I know. 

 

Everyday Carina sends us a "Coronspiration Quote" and they've been really good! Well, she missed yesterday but made up for it today. One thing about Carina is she doesn't hold back pointing out my mistakes, so it's actually kind of rewarding to point out her mistake to the public. ;) Today's was "You don't look at another person's plate to see if they have more than you. You look to see if they have enough." from the Spark of Light by Jodi Picult. I thought that was super good, but extra fitting right now, with everything going on all around, and the current toilet paper crisis, amidst everything else. 

 

Carina planned Facemask Friday, so tonight at 10pm, we're all doing facemasks and chatting with each other. How fun is that?! Now I have Friday night plans!! :) Its been very exciting to know that every time I check my phone, I'm almost guaranteed to have a message from Barbara and/or Carina about the curry recipe Carina had for dinner (with extra potatoes because carbs make her happy), or the brownies that Barbara just baked. We've been sharing recipes, holding each other accountable for finishing projects we start. It actually has been helping a lot! Sending pics back and forth - Carina is knitting a sweater right now (well, technically she's on her second because the first one was kind of a flop - although I thought it was amazing), and Barbara (who is all the way in Madrid right now) is making a calendar and her drawings are amazing. Would defiantly keep me on schedule if I had something like that (wink wink! ha).

 

Overall, I'd give quarantine a 7/10 so far. ;) I hit a rough patch tonight, but pulled thru. There are so many projects I've gotten done, and that really makes me feel good. I've also loved all the connections from people, and the creativity people have come up with to support each other. Neighbors stepping up to help people who can't easily leave their houses and needs supplies, the support of customers for local business that are really getting tested right now, families spending more time together and taking a minute to slow down and play a board game, and friends that are there for you and just as engaged in your life as they were before, if not more. It's a weird, strange, and scary time, but I think there can also be a lot of good - silver linings - and I know I'm beyond grateful for that.

 

Now, I'm off to facemask. :)

 

Signed, ME {AT}

Running Like A Grandma & New Rituals

Milo and I watched the sunrise this morning.  That was a nice start to the day, and  less stressful than reading the news.  Highly recommend this.

Personally I think the key to navigating any change is to set up routines, and real quick.  John and I have self-induced so many big changes in the last 10 years that we've become pretty good at it.  I think at one point I counted 7 house moves, one state move, different schools, lots of extended traveling (culture shock is a tough change for kids)...the list goes on.  All of those things disrupt your routine, and the result is always predictable with kids (and adults for that matter).  You feel uncomfortable, you don't like it, you feel grumpy, uneasy, angry, sad, and sometimes physically ill.  It's textbook every time.  We crave predictability and routine.

So the writing was on the wall that this change with covid-19 that we are currently dealing with would be no different.  The kids have gone thru all stages for sure, and I've seen them in myself too.  We have all been thrown into a new routine, or rather, our OLD routines were all ripped away from us so we were spinning without routines.  No school, no work, no dinner out Friday, no social events....the list goes on.  

So, my big push this week has been to try and stick to the old routines that I could stick with (family dinner, tulips on the front table, etc.), and establish some new ones.  It doesn't take very long to get new habits going, and it always amazes me how easily the kids will get in the new flow.  

So my new routines for me include my 10 sun salutations each morning, and then an online yoga class.  Then we are making breakfast.  Romeo and I take a walk late morning with the dog, and practice spelling and math problems.   Then it's music practice time, then Gia bakes something in the afternoon.   Nothing monumental, but I've noticed how quick they are grabbing on to the new rituals--they are like life preservers.

Today Ava decided she wanted to go on a run, and she tried to recruit Lucia who wouldn't go, so she begged me and despite it being the LAST thing I actually felt like doing, I did it.  Two minutes into the run Ava turns to me and says, "are you going to run like a grandma the whole time?"  Nothing like a little teen shaming to force you to run faster.   I think I might have shin splints for weeks now.  Ava never works out, and she still seemed unphased by the spur of the moment run.  It wore me out though and I think my big toe is dislocated.  Super irritating.

I will also just say, that despite setting up a new schedule/routine and recognizing how important that is, I really miss my old one.  I grieved it a little today to be honest.  Maybe even more than a little.  I miss you old life, I miss you bad....can't wait to get back to you.

Hope everyone made it thru the week.  Curious to see what what new routines everyone is establishing that is
 working for them.  I'm tossing up this picture that John took at a restaurant last week because it really is pretty funny (and not funny at the same time I guess).  It made me laugh though!  TP rolls $500, and one pump of hand sanitizer for $300. Cheeky.  

Signed, ME {lv}

The Good Things Around Us

In my ongoing efforts to think positively and not get pulled down to the depths with the current state of affairs, I tried some strategic things today.  One, I started my day with my 10 sun salutations and no media afterward for 45 minutes.  This was day #2 and I think this might be the ticket for me....starting out the day without being bombarded first thing.  Much better foundation for the day.

Then I had my latte, and then I did a yoga class online.  Again, that was a pretty good centering thing for me and was better than doing it late in the day I think. It fortified me and gave me strength.

The kids and I took the dog on a walk, and I enjoyed the outdoors for a brief time, and also enjoyed the heart warming signs of togetherness I saw.  I know that this is an incredibly isolating time for many people who might live alone, and my heart breaks for everyone that feels that way right now.  For other people it's a frustrating time because you are now forced to spend SO much time together in a confined space with little to do, BUT on the flip side, it also gives people the time and bandwidth to connect.  I saw, on a Thursday mid-morning mind you, a family taking a walk together, and I saw parents engaged in activities with their kids that ordinarily might take back seat because of time constraints (or jobs of course).  Don't get me wrong, I want job back, but all we can do is enjoy what we do have.

Everyone I saw was keeping a very safe distance from other people, there weren't the groups of young people that I've heard rumor of (although I'm sure that's happening somewhere near me).  What I saw was just a sense of timelessness that really only comes with a shut down like this where there are simply less options, less things to do.  There are no restaurants.  There are no stores to go to.  There are only so many groceries you can buy.  We're all getting our fill of screen time, and there are still a lot of hours in the day to do meandering and unrushed things.  I can't honestly remember the last time I walked the dog with absolutely no agenda afterwards, or set things I have to do.  Romeo and I do it daily, but usually it's after I pick him up from school, and before I pick up his sisters where we have a tight little window of about 35 minutes.   Today we strolled along, me trying to stump him with spelling words, and him content to prep for the imaginary spelling bee.  I did this in attempts to outweigh hours of Fortnite video games by the way

Anyway, I guess my point is that as much as this entire situation is beyond scary in every way (and unwanted in every way), all we can do is take one day at a time, and find beauty in the simple things that ARE happening.  I might not have a store operating right now and all the stresses of that can stack up nice and tall, but what we do have are wonderful emails from friends and customers, little notes, or even just seeing a name of someone we know and love on a web order makes us happy.  It's not about anything more than being happy for what we have, and the wonderful people we know and the time we get with the people we love.  

Plus, I will also just note that Ava & Lucia have been in sister-fighting mode for months.  It's been bad.  They fight over clothes, over friends.  Pretty much anything (this is the problem with same sex siblings too close in age).  Anyway, the silver lining of this quarantine is that they are so, SO, so bored that they are starting to talk and laugh together again.  Desperate for friend time, they are learning to be friends again.  Silver linings.

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Amanda's Third Day of Quarantine

I just finished day 3 of my self quarantine, and I have to say, I'm not hating it...yet. The sun has been beautiful, and the afternoons are almost warm, which is a total mood lifter. I am so grateful that this is all going on when its nice, and I can open the windows, do things outside and stroll around the neighborhood. But then I'm also missing the fact that we can't go to our favorite happy hour spots and sit outside...you win some you loose some I guess. ;) I've been getting so much done, and my house has never been cleaner. There is still a room full of boxes that I don't want to unpack (and half a garage full of stuff I don't know what to do with either), and maybe if this quarantine goes on long enough, I'll get to it, but for now I'm having fun rearranging things and really making them work. Since we moved into our house 6 months ago, I just put things where I thought I'd  want them, and then have been too afraid to move them for fear I won't remember where I moved them to. But now I have a feel for where I actually know where I  want the measuring cups and the best spot for the cutting boards, and can move it all around because I have the time!

 

This morning I started out with my lemon water again. I'm not sure I feel different because of it, but I don't drink coffee or having a morning tea ritual, so the routine of having my lemon water in the mornings is starting to be kind of nice just for the regimen. Maybe tomorrow my skin will be glowing, and my metabolism will be so fast I'll stop gaining weight from all of the quarantine comfort food meals I've been eating 5 times a day. Seriously...its bad. There's just so much food in the house, and I have a lot of time to myself, and it feels like I'm doing a lot, so it just makes sense I'd have an after breakfast AND after lunch quesadilla...you know to keep fueling energy for the projects. I've also probably eaten my weight in the Costco chocolate almond covered ice cream bars. Those are SUPER addicting, and I never buy them for that reason, but somehow they made it into the quarantine stockpile cart. :/

 

I put my third (and hopefully final) coat of paint on this bookcase I'm redoing, and I really love it. I'm actually really happy with how its turned out, and wasn't expecting to like it as much as I do! Isn't that funny - sometimes you'll dive into a project get most of the way done if not all the way finished with it, and even though you thought you knew exactly what it would look like, you're still shocked at how much you love it (or, sometimes, hate it).

 

This afternoon after a few hours at the shop, I went out to the barn. This time of year is the ultimate time to be out with the horses! I feel like all those cold, wet, dark days that I pushed thru out there were a test to see if I could stick it out to deserve these beautiful ones. Its not too hot yet, the sun is shining, and the breeze smells  so good with the scent of all the blooms in the air. I had a SUPER challenging but rewarding day out there, which also felt good. I left telling Zinc that he's a better horse than he was this morning, and I'm a better rider than I was this morning also. ;) That sentiment can apply to just about anything else - including quarantine! If every morning you wake up, try again, and come out on the other side stronger than you were the day before, that's something! And something to be proud of. It may not be easy between here and there, but it wouldn't be as rewarding if it wasn't. Just a side tangent thought. ;)

 

I did not get as much done today as I had planned because I got sucked in to Making a Murderer on Netflix. If you haven't watched it, you should. Its very addicting and hard to pull away from. I can't wait to finish it because I'm hoping all the questions I have will be answered. Its super tempted to just do a quick google search and see what happens, but I'm trying to savor it, and watch the whole story play out. Its completely crazy to me that this is a person's life!! And it's such a captivating story. I feel like if someone were to make a documentary about my life, they'd cancel it before the pilot was even over.  I should probably count my blessings that my life isn't documentary worthy, because those stories usually never end all that well.

 

One thing I'm really starting to miss is my friends! I didn't realize how much we really usually do with people until we're not doing it. Its a lot of one on one time with Todd - which is nice...but I have a feeling we're going to need some sort of break at some point. You know, so we can have some time away and come up with new things to talk about. ;) Not having the day to day social interactions with other people will be the hardest part of this for me. But I've made it thru 3 days...what's at least 11 more? 

Conscious Uncoupling, Corona Cinnamon Rolls & Sun

I'm consciously uncoupling from the media.  Well, partially uncoupling.  That's right, I'm going Gwyneth Paltrow on the media.  

I started my day with 10 sun salutations, BEFORE I looked at my phone or anything electronic.  I have to admit, it's a horrible habit but the first thing I do every morning is reach over, grab my phone off the charger and read about what is going on in the world.

Not this morning.  This morning I woke up and I thought about what my yoga teacher had said when I was doing my yoga training two years ago.  She said, "wake up and do 10 sun salutations, and I promise you it will change your life."  At the time I didn't do it....not sure why exactly, but I didn't.   Well, I started today, and I can see how it might a actually be if not life changing, adjacent to life changing.  It's essentially 10-15 minutes of deep breathing and meditation, but in an active form that for me feels easier than sitting to meditate in the morning (which I've tried to do many times and the habit hasn't stuck).

After my 10 salutations I resisted phone checking urges, and instead I went downstairs, made my latte, did my normal domestic rounds of picking up stuff in the kitchen, going down to the laundry room etc.  It was a full 30-40 minutes and I still hadn't checked any media and let me tell you, it was amazing.  Then John came downstairs full of media reports and broke the spell.  Then I realized, I'm not going to miss anything if I partially break off from media, because unfortunately everyone else is going to fill me in moment to moment.   What it might do though is quash some of the not so low stress hum that has settled into my brain and I can feel it zapping my strength.  I've got to find a way to be positive more hours of the day than not.

It's was a gorgeous day, the sun was out, flowers were everywhere, and it feels hopeful just to be outside.  Romeo and I walked Milo, and then we came back and made cinnamon rolls for my parents.  But then I had a thought, what if someone in my house is asymptomatic and we make cinnamon rolls and somehow get coronavirus on it??  Is that possible?  Can the corona be baked out of the cinnamon rolls?  So I did some googling, and basically they don't know for sure, but SARS dies off in temps of 160 degrees for 30 minutes.  Plus John said you can't "eat" the virus it'll die, you have to inhale it or touch it to your face/nose/eyes.  So We baked the rolls and then devised a plan to get them on a paper plate and covered with no touching and little exposure to potential airborne bugs.  I'm especially neurotic when it comes to my parents, who fall into that "elderly" category (I'm sure my mom wants to stab someone when they call her elderly), but nonetheless, we've got to be über careful.  Anyway, we dropped off cinnamon rolls, flowers, and a spray bottle of 409 (since it kills bacteria and viruses).  Not the most exciting care package to get, but also not the worst.  We left it on their door step, rang the door bell and dashed.

I did another online yoga class, and another couple walks.  Was very excited that we got in the Féret Parfumeur for my ravaged hands.  They feel dry ALL the time and have that weird feeling that is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I can't wait to lather my digits.

Hope everyone is keeping their spirits up!!

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Amanda's Quarantine Day One

Today was officially my day 1 of my quarantine (and not because I actually have the virus, but just because we are all quasi-quarantined). With the decision to close the shop at the end of the day yesterday, and this past weekend being dedicated to prepping for quarantine, this is the first day for me that wasn't my normal routine. I know I'm a little late to all of this, but I have been being super careful along the way, washed my hands 50 million times, and really only have a small bubble I operate in anyways. This whole situation is super sucky, to say the least. There isn't a word that adequately sums it up. But I think that's the obvious thing we can all agree on is that the news is rehashing that enough, so I'm trying to focus on the positive, and make the best of it. In all honesty, this "forced downtime" to get things done is kind of exactly what I need right now, mentally, emotionally and physically. I know not everyone is in the same boat, and a lot of people are struggling to heart breaking lengths, and yes I'm worried about a paycheck, having a job to come back to, all of that - but as a good friend likes to say (the one that is cool enough to get me into ankle spraining spin classes), 'the only way out is through'. We've got this - because there is no other option. We're going to make it thru, and in the meantime, handle it with grace, strength, and of course style. It's okay to break down, feel defeated and want to give up, but we're all stronger than that. Especially when we support each other. Isn't that sooooo cool to think about? With the help of modern technology, a friend, college, family member, anyone is literally just at your finger tips. Feel free to email Lauren and I and rant about whatever you have to get off your chest. A good portion of our day is spent going back and forth with each other about what annoying thing our husbands did, or what snarky comment someone made to us, or why we can't stand our mother in laws. It helps to get it out!

 

So, here is DAY 1 of my quarantine. (also, I'm fully prepared to eat my words in a few days when my mindset is WAY less positive. Should we give it 3 days?)

I've read so much about warm lemon water first thing in the morning, as I'm sure we all have. At this point, I think I'm the only one not doing it. When I was at Trader Joe's over the weekend for the stock up, they had bags of lemons and limes in abundance. I grabbed several (determined not to get scurvy on top of everything else going around!), figured it was time to start the lemon water thing. Grabbed one of my favorite mugs, and drank 1.8 liters of warm lemon water (this did take me all the way thru lunch, but I actually really liked it). I'm sure I'll have amazing results by tomorrow. ;) I also wore the PJ Salvage striped lounge pants, and oh my goodness, they're amazing!! The fabric is thicker than the modals they've done in the past, and so. much. more. flattering! It doesn't cling, and I don't feel like I'm jiggling all around when I walk. Plus, new lounge pants make you feel a little extra glam while around the house. Old school Velvet sweater in the perfect green for St Patricks Day (these things are dang expensive...every time we get new Velvet sweats I gasp at the price, but they hold up amazing, and are my favorite things to throw on, making it totally worth it).

 

Next I finished sewing these oh so cheerful coasters - aren't they adorable? If you want a set, they'll be on the site soon. ;) I think they're fun pops to make you smile around the house, and great hostess gifts. I've been giving them out to all my friends and family when we go visit. The color combos are fun to come up with, too. Can't decide what to do next...maybe just a 2 tone? White and grey for something more simple? Or a monochromatic pink? So excited!!

 

After I did those, and was halfway thru my lemon water, I decided to hang this hook/hanger thing in our living room that I've needed to do since right after Christmas. Yeah. Its been sitting on my floor a long time. Gather my tools, and even found a level so that I wasn't hating it being slightly off level for the next however many years because I'd be too lazy to move it and have to fill in a hole. I know, pathetic I don't have my act together more, but isn't there value in honestly realizing my limits? Maybe? Hopefully? I forgot to snap a pic of it while the light was still good, so I'll do that tomorrow...I know you're on the edge of your seat in suspense. haha

 

My little sister Cindy started texting me and I knew it was a cry for help, so I invited her over. I had some errands to run (going to the shop to fill web orders, and the barn to see my handsome horse - don't panic!), so it was the perfect way to give her something to do, and give her a chance to practice driving. She's wanting to take the drivers test in April, and honestly, 3 months ago I thought she meant April 2022 with the way she drove. But, she has come SUCH a long way, and it was actually pleasant driving around with her today. I took her thru the web order process to kill some time, and we shopped in the store, picking out our favorite things. Of course had to take selfies to document this part of the day, and because our outfits matched, like really well, without even trying. Must be a sister thing. Todd says we're sooooooo related, but I don't see it. ;) Every time I complain about something she does, he reminds me that I am the EXACT same way. I'm sure that I'm not. Luckily we'll have a lot of time in the coming weeks to hash that debate out. LOL.

 

Next we went out to the barn (and Cindy had to merge on and off of the big interstate to get there - big deal for her!), and played with the horses. It was defiantly therapeutic, and even Cindy, who isn't a fan of the large equine animals, started to warm up and even willingly pet them, and picked out a favorite (it wasn't Zinc, so she is dead to me, but oh well, we had a good run). She even got on him for a little ride. Well, I told her to just sit on him so I could get a pic really quick, but walked her around the arena a few times, and she actually seemed to enjoy it! How fun!!

 

Then we came home, and I made vegetable and dumpling soup. Not my best soup, but not my worst. Luckily there's always tomorrow to try something better. ;) I have never eaten at home so many meals in a row like this! I know I've said it before, but I really do enjoy cooking, just not when I have to. ;) I usually always grab lunch at work (the market has so many amazing places to eat, its next to impossible NOT to eat there everyday), and Todd and I eat out more nights a week than we eat in. Either at friends houses, or going to restaurants or getting take out. I'm not going for domestic goddess of the year or anything, but should be up for some award here eventually. 

 

That's my Day 1. I actually had a lot of fun, and got a lot done. And also spent some time watching mindless TV, which I'm not sorry for. Overall, I feel good about today, and am looking forward to tomorrow. :)

 

Signed with much love, ME {AT}

Digging Deep, Currents & Boats

Now that I've got all kinds of time to cook and to deep clean, I can think of nothing else that I'd like to do less. Why is that?  I was desperate for few hours just a couple of weeks ago so I could continue my spring cleaning mission and now that I can do it I'm feeling too depleted.  Two weeks ago I distinctly remember complaining about how FAST the weeks were flying by.  I blinked and it was Friday...AGAIN, and again.  It's been two days since the kids officially were let off school, one day since the store shut to the public, and if you told me it had been month, I'd say, "feels about right".  Time is dragging by so. so. slowly.  

But today I tried to be positive.  The reality is, the kids are officially off school 6 weeks.  We're all on lock down for realistically 2-6 weeks.  It feels like an eternity.  It does genuinely feels that way, but in reality it isn't.  I'm not saying it won't feel painstakingly slow, but big picture, it's not that long.  Other good news is that this is an election year, which means there is a lot of pressure on the government to get this economy jumpstarted as soon as the virus is under control.  It will happen.  Third good thing is that there are some incredible doctors spread out over this entire globe that are working tirelessly to come up with an anti-viral and a vaccine.  It will happen, anti-viral trials are already underway for whats seemed to work so far.  There are too many smart people working on it for it not to happen quickly.  Fear & panic is the problem,

So those were the positives I tried to focus on.  I also did an online yoga class, which was better than I thought because my favorite guy was teaching it. That made me happy.  His whole theme of the class was "get to know yourself".  I had to actively push out the voice in my head that started out by saying, "I know myself, I'm a basket case who is literally flipping out that her kids are off school for 6 weeks and I can't go to yoga".  I pulled myself together and tamed my monkey mind at least a little.

I went on a walk with John, and we came across this marquee which I thought was fitting, it read "Same Current, Different Boats".  That sums it up.  I also read later on some other billboard. the phrase, "focus on what you can control" which I thought was pretty fitting too.  Yes, we can only focus on what we can control, and let go of things out of our control.  

On a final note, Gia was saying today she was super scared (and it had nothing to do with the coronavirus, it had to do with some scary movie preview she saw), and Romeo told her, "I don't get scared anymore from things, I just think about unicorns when I get scared and then I'm not scared."  Unicorns?  Yep, apparently they protect you from being scared.  So here's to visions of unicorns.

Today we're doing a deep discount on gifts...mostly because it seems like a swell time to buy someone a gift, AND it also seems like a swell time to buy yourself a gift.  Show some love, because we all need it.

Signed, ME {lv}

 

 

 

A Day In The Life

The new normal....

Wake up too early to get up, check the news, get depressed, stop reading it.  Try to go back to sleep. Can't because of said depressing news.  Get out of bed for real, and make a happy collagen latte (hoping it enhances my super immune system so I don't get the CV).

Clean up the kitchen after the kids tornado thru for breakfast.  Cheerios everywhere and evidence they ate every strawberry in the house. 

Exercise, which now consists of giving myself a yoga class which is far less peaceful than going to a yoga class. I cheat in poses much more and I can't get myself to relax.

Force the kids to go on a walk with me.  Gia tells me bees pee out of their stingers.  I believe her for about 3 solid minutes because my brain is filled with coronavirus stress.

Go home, work a bit, get more stressed when I learn that Melange is going to close for at least two weeks.  Stop working and go online to buy some more vitamins--again to super-immune-system my body up.

Decide that the kids have once again eaten thru half the food, so head to grocery store where I likely will get coronavirus, ebola, hep C and god knows what else because it is packed beyond capacity with some people with very questionable health.  

Go home, unpack groceries.  Encourage the kids to make a list of things they "need" to do during the day (like practice music, do math, read, clean room).  Hear entirely too much whining and run out of energy to stand my ground.  That's on my list for tomorrow, for sure.

Do laundry, get irritated that Lucia uses 4 towels each time she showers and hangs up none of them, but instead throws them into the dirty laundry.  Spend too much time being irritated and folding clothes.

Stop and take 5 deep breaths, it helps.

Call my friend.  Text three others.  It also helps.

Decide that there is no way I can spend the entire next 2-3 weeks of this new schedule in sweats and a tee, I'll lose it.  Vow to make myself more presentable tomorrow even if I don't leave the house.

Gia makes breadsticks. She's used all the butter, most of the flour and a lot of sugar in the last 3 days (two cakes, brownies and now breadsticks).  It's messy, lots of ingredients get wasted, there are 5 million questions and I try to be super patient but it's tough. She just wants me to bake with her but I have a hard time pulling myself out of my news stupor which I later feel bad about.  I know the kids need things to do to stay entertained, but...ugh.

Find out John's work is officially stopping travel and everyone is working from home.  Also find out the governor closed restaurants and bars temporarily.  John's visibly depressed about not being able to eat out (the highlight of his days, literally).  We're bickering constantly about the state of the world and I wonder if we're gong to kill each other during this "work from home period".  I'm betting yes.  We could have a corona-casualty divorce.

Bars are slated to close tomorrow, so John and I take 45 minutes to go down the street in a patently socially irresponsible move before the official close of bars and restaurants.  The restaurants and bars will be closed for our 25th wedding anniversary so it feels like we deserve to take advantage of this last opportunity.  Whiskey was awesome, I can't lie.  John ordered a Penicillin, the healthy whisky drink version guaranteed to keep you well.  John leaves the bartender a fat tip because it's his last shift for quite awhile.

Overall, not my best day at managing my mood or stress.  The state of things is going to bring ups and downs, and I guess we have to be able to roll with it.  I am going to follow my own advice and try to find something to hold on to that feels normal.  My favorite candle, cozy pj's, my face moisturizer that I love, maybe my favorite funny movie tonight (which is Horrible Bosses FYI).   It's up to us to lead the way for everyone around us (our kids, our partners, our friends)....to set the tone, to try and be generous with our kindness, and ease up with our stress.  I don't pretend I can do it every day, but I'm really going to try (and definitely try harder tomorrow).

Now's a good time to send your favorite people cards and little treats, because we're all going to need our moods lifted a bit, so why not be the bringer of joy?  Seems like a good move to me since there isn't all that much we can do, except be careful, be kind and be supportive.

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Store Closure Update

It's hard to wrap our head around this new reality, but we are officially closing our store in Fifth Street Market to the public for at least the next two weeks until we collectively have a handle on the virus.  A store that we love dearly and that has been open 362 days a year for 20 years.  We're not even sure what to do with that fact, it almost doesn't compute--our head is still spinning.

It's hard to know exactly exactly when we will reopen to the public, I don't think anyone really knows for sure, but we are hoping two weeks will be enough.  We are however, keeping our website going strong, and sending out packages daily.  We'll be at the store shortened hours, 11-3, each day to do this, so if you are local and want to swing by and pick anything up, try anything on, or visit (with all the distance safeguards in place of course), please feel free to come by and knock on the door.   If you aren't local, know that we are here to chat on the phone, and of course via email.  We want to remain here for all of our customers and friends as much as possible during this incredibly stressful time. This is when we need each other the most!

We know we'll come thru it all in one piece, we just need to take it one step at a time, and stay focused on keeping our communities healthy, and giving each other moral support through kindness and caring.  

Thank you to all of you who have and who will shop our website in the days to come, we appreciate your support more than you can possibly know and we are eternally grateful for all of you.

Stay healthy.

With Mad Love, 

All of Us at Melange

Sunnier Days Ahead

Yes, that's what I'm looking toward....sunnier days ahead.  They will come, no doubt.  So right now I'm just taking a deep breath and trying to remember that fact.  It seems appropriate that my favorite Velvet shipment should come now to brighten my mood and dreams of summer and sun.  I love their linen, and I get so excited every year to start wearing it.  Yes, I know vacations are being cancelled now, and that we are all unsure about what our summer travel plans will be. I remain hopeful though, and I can almost feel the grass beneath me on a warm day, and a picnic in the park.  The fresh air and warm breezes are what we need...it will make life better.  I also know that worrying about what I might wear on such a day might seem out off sorts with the urgency of the immediate issues at hand, but here's the thing,  I can't bare to listen to the news ALL the time, I need a break.  I can't be stressed out ALL the time.  I need to have some semblance of normalcy, where I get to think about what I'll wear on a summer day, or other simple things of little consequence.  Little indulgences and creature comforts.

My kids are stir crazy and I've heard them sing "Pineapple, coconut, big banana, two squishy oranges right behind yah"....many, many many times.  Video gaming is becoming a profession at our house and they have basically blown thru the "stockpile" of food like locusts.  

The upshot of this is I need a distraction from reality, is that so bad?  I can't be the only one.  Here's my distraction....I LOVE this skirt!!  

Here's to a healthy and peaceful week of homeschooling our kids, and by homeschooling I mean letting them run wild in every corner of the house while we push the 5 o'clock cocktail hour up a couple hours. We will come thru all of this and we must keep our sanity, compassion, smiles and simple joys in the meantime.

Signed, ME {lv}

Bake Off & Hand Moisturizer

It's been less than two weeks since I've adopted obsessive hand washing and hand sanitizer and my hands are officially RAW.  They also look like the hands of a person 50 years older--dry and very unattractive. Small issue in the scheme of things, but I will say, it calls for good hand lotion.  I've now tried both the Elizabeth W. and the Nash & Jones and I do love both.   Elizabeth W. wasn't Amanda's favorite because it's very scented (but I actually really liked the scents so I was good with that).  We are about to get in another line called Féret Parfumeur and I can't wait because it's supposed to be amazing.  Stay tuned, we're gong to need this (it arrives Wednesday).

Today felt long, and I know I wasn't alone.  The days ahead seem like they are going to be impossibly long don't they?  The kids being off school for the next 3 (and maybe more) weeks seems mind blowingly long.  I'm really trying to take deep breaths and just set up routines and a sense of normalcy.  I forced myself to turn off the news today (which honestly was hard), but once I did I felt someone normal again within a couple of hours.    We can't lose our sense of balance thru all of this, because it's unhealthy on all levels.

So I cooked today (fennel and potato soup), and Gia baked a cake.  I let Romeo watch too many video games. We lounged, and ran a couple of errands but stayed out of big and crowded establishments.  Gia is a huge baker.  Yesterday she made brownies, today the cake from scratch, complete with butter cream frosting.  The kitchen was a disaster, but she had fun.

So maybe the answer during this really stressful and trying time is to just try and enjoy some simple things.  We can't stop being worried to death about the health of our loved ones, our jobs, or our livelihood.  There are so many wonderful perks about owning a small business, but during times like this it feels like the heaviest of burdens because there is no net, and there is so much responsibility.  Couple that with SO much unknown.  It's the definition of stress.

Yet we can't let ourselves get consumed with the stress because so much of this situation is beyond our control and we just have to come to peace with that.  So enjoy the things you can, and balance out the stress that we all will be feeling.  Who doesn't love to eat cake right?   Get fresh air, visit friends from a safe distance, smile and remind yourself it will be o.k.

Signed, ME {lv}

Little Bits of Sanity

I'm not going to lie, this week I've really tried to channel our happiness theme, but it's been tough at times.  There's such a balance we need to strike now in the midst of what is emerging at break neck speed.  Most of us haven't been thru a pandemic before (watching the movie Contagion doesn't count).  There's a lot of media frenzy out there, and misinformation, and just that fact alone is enough to drive someone to the point of a full blown melt down.

I am continually telling myself to take deep breaths, and to remind myself that we just take one week at a time, and remember that we'll get thru this but only if people keep a level head and avoid freaking out.  Social distancing doesn't mean social isolation, so we need to continue to support each other, enjoy our family and friends and try to continue to live life, albeit in a modified, and safer, fashion.   I know it's harder for people that are immune compromised (or living with someone who is) and feel like they really have to fully isolate physically.  I just hope they don't isolate mentally and they keep reaching out to friends and family, and people who care because it's miserable to be all stressed by yourself without the support of your tribe.

I went to yoga class this morning (some of my tribe) and it was lovely and my "little bit of sanity today".  It was just the perfect reminder that we need to continue to do things for ourselves that are healthy, both physically and mentally.  I washed my hands before I went into the room, and after I left--safety first.  The message today was about bravery and vulnerability.  Her quote was something to the affect of "bravery starts when vulnerability becomes intentional".  It's true, the hardest thing to do is to make yourself vulnerable intentionally.

Now is the perfect time to remember self care, because we're under stress and a lot of information bombardment.  Our immune systems need to stay strong, so we need to take care of ourselves in all the ways we know how.  Good food, lots of sleep, moments of peace and quiet, self-care, laughing with friends, fresh air, things like that.  Basically all things that make you happy, put a smile on your face and make you feel good.  So my hope for everyone this weekend is to take care of yourself, be consciously proactive in creating your own peace bubble, because otherwise you are going to get eaten away by collective stress (that happened to me when I went down the media rabbit hole for 3+ hours today--it's a dark place).  You can do all the things you need to do to protect yourself and your community without contributing to the stress energy and without making yourself miserable (because that sure can't be good for your immune system). At Melange we're wiping down door handles, hard surfaces regularly, and using hand sanitizer and hand washing obsessively.  We're also trying to laugh regularly, eat healthy and mediate for bits of peacefulness. Deep breathing...I'm doing it right now and I've got to say, it really helps.

Signed, ME {lv}

Making Bread

This morning I got a wild hair, and decided to make bread! Now, I'm not a baker. I love baked goods, and I love cooking, but baking has never really done anything for me. First of all, I'm bad at following a recipe because I try to take too many creative licenses, which is no good when you need precise measurements to get the perfect cookie, or rise in a cake. I appreciate it when people do it, but I've always just preferred to pick up treats from a local bakery and save my time and energy to make a wild mushroom risotto or corn chowder on a cold day. I'm having a few girlfriends over for dinner tonight (our husbands just left this morning to go to the PAC12 basketball tournament/game thing in Vegas) - and am super excited to show off my bread!! I think its a
little dense, but it looks pretty and smells incredible. Roasted garlic and herb...how can you go wrong with that?! I was tempted to throw some of the olive oil I used to roast the garlic in with the dough as I was 
mixing it up, but didn't want to throw off the delicate balance that is baking. In cooking, that would have been allowed...just saying. ;) I did save the garlicy roasting oil threw it in the tomato sauce...I was determined to us it! 

  

The bread turned out amazing! Defiantly a hit. It was great with a little (or a lot) of butter and a sprinkle of salt, or a little creamy herbed cheese. Was more of a focaccia type of bread, but that's not a bad thing. I would make it again when I have a second, or more like 4 hours, because it was a labor of love to say the least. Between the roasting of the garlic, mixing, multiple risings, 2 step baking process, its not just something you make on a weeknight whim. 

 

On a completely unrelated note, I have washed my hand SO MUCH in the last couple weeks. My skin is cracking and dry. My phone hardly recognizes my finger print anymore because my hands feel so raw. I know you can't find hand sanitizer or toilet paper in the store anymore, but with the rate I'm going thru lotion, I feel the need to stock up on that just in case everyone else is, too!! My long time love is the Kheil's Crème de Corps

https://www.kiehls.com/body/body-lotions/creme-de-corps/259.html?cgid=body-lotions&dwvar_259_size=8.4%20fl.%20oz.%20Bottle#start=1&cgid=body-lotions

, but since we've been carrying the Nash and Jones, I've gone thru 2 tubes of their lotion, its totally won me over! The smell is so clean and refreshing, and I love how it doesn't feel greasy. You can feel instant relief that lasts (I feel like that totally sounds like a cold and flu medicine commercial, but its true!). For every time I wash my hands, I have to put on lotion, and this stuff is making all the difference! Excuse the shameless plug - but I wouldn't say this if I didn't believe in it. ;)

 

Signed, ME {lv}

My Interview, Classic Black & Mean Teen

So today I had my interview for a clinical psychology masters program that I am trying to get into for the Fall.  I haven't talked about it much, but now that the application process and interview is over, it is what it is and I feel like I can talk about it without making myself more nervous.  

First off, I was afraid that I would be the oldest one there (it was a group interview plus individual interview).  In fact, that fear was totally unfounded because there were ALL different ages, and a really diverse group of people wanting to do the program.  Some straight out of college, some older who had other masters in other areas that would pair well with the clinical psychology.   I went into the day feeling particularly self conscious about being "older", especially since Ava was being a mean teen the other night and told me I was old and wrinkled.  Just plain mean right?  I have a friend who later texted me that night complaining about her teen daughter and how they had fought and her daughter called her the "B" word, and how angry my friend was.  I told her what Ava said and how I might have actually preferred the 'B" word because now I was just feeling self conscious and NOT ready for my interview.   See, if I was already a psychologist maybe I wouldn't be so bothered by what my super rude teen said, but alas, I'm still a hot mess and my vanity is bruised.

Anyway, I will start by saying that I wore classic black trousers, white button down shirt (thanks Anni Kuan), and a black Margaret O'Leary cardigan.  I cut the boring outfit up a bit with my very cool python heels, but overall I was classic and understated.  I was trying not to be "too" dressed, but still professional.  People were largely under dressed (or poorly dressed) or both.  Super nice group of people, but it was a reminder that if you dress well, you almost always stand out because so many people do not.

The interview consisted of all kinds of things including a small group analysis of a movie we watched before we arrived, 30 minutes of of essay writing, a role play exercise and an exercise where you discussed a personal object that meant something to you in front of a group (the whole process was 3 hours).  

The role play exercise was seriously fun.  You and a random partner sat in front of a professor, one person was the client, one person was the therapist.  There were different scenarios, and you chose one and then role played for 5 minutes.  The easiest one for me was being the client who was a mother with an 18 year old daughter who was super headstrong who fell in love and was getting married despite the mother trying to convince her otherwise. It was FUN, I should have done more theater in college.  Then I got to be the therapist to a teen who was too embarrassed to get an educational evaluation for her learning disability.  Again, pretty fun stuff.  Maybe I should have just been an actress that PLAYED a therapist?

Anyway, the rest of the interview went fine, including the individual portion with a professor who started by asking the obvious question, "why do you want to be a therapist."  Uhhhmmmmm???  Can the answer be that I have a lot of my own emotional problems so I can relate to other people and maybe can learn to help them (and/or myself)??  I didn't quite say that, don't worry.  

I'm excited it's done.  It's been a long day that also included a hot yoga class and a visit to my OB who basically told me that what I thought were "hot flashes" were in fact NOT hot flashes and more a situational issue (i.e., my bedroom was just too hot).  I wanted the 411 on bio-identical and other pre-menopause assistance.  She basically told me to slow my roll, my test results said I'm not there yet, the test results show all normal hormones.  What she didn't quite say (but I know she was thinking it) was that my anxiety about what was going to happen centered around getting older in general and I just needed to learn to embrace it because nothing was going to stop the clock).  It's like she knew that my night stand was filled with anti-aging books and life extending reads.

Wednesday's mystery flash sale on Velvet day....because it's fun, and Wednesday deserves to be a little fun right?  code: mystery

Signed, ME {LV}

 

 

 

Little Bit Prepper, Hot Yoga and Gratitude

All I know is that this virus outbreak is only worrying me to the extent that NOW I feel the need to be a little bit more of a "prepper" -- not for this situation, but for a truly bad one that might come at some point in the future.  What I'm noticing is that people don't do well with a little uncertainty, or restriction, or risk.  Seriously, if something even remotely bad happened in this country, there would be a full blown crazy panic of monumental proportions.   I wasn't feeling the need before, but now I feel like I do really need some kind of stockpile for when a real crisis happens because things will not go well and people will likely lose their collective sanity.  I feel like we are just starting our experience with the coronavirus and already people are giving themselves anxiety attacks.  Slow your roll people, it will all be fine and you can't burn out on anxiety this early.

Not to totally minimize the coronavirus, it's a terrible inconvenience and yes, we all need to modify certain behaviors to help mitigate risk (i.e. washing our hands alone is thing #1 and the practice will help not only this new virus but the spreading of the flu which is already dangerous to so many vulnerable populations).   John keeps saying that at the end of all of this we might end up socializing behaviors that save many lives that otherwise wouldn't have been saved.  Let the hand sanitizer and hand washing mania begis.  Better stock up on hand cream, that sanitizer dries your hands out BAD.

I returned to hot yoga today after my microblading week long hiatus.  It felt great, and I was totally grateful for what my body could do the whole time.  I just felt so happy that I was there, my body felt good, and I was no longer jeopardizing my eyebrows.  Big sigh of relief there.  Last week taking it easy in more restorative classes was nice, but today felt 'back to normal' and really good.

The sun is shining this week, and we've got at least one day hitting 60 degrees.  That's a reason to be happy right there!  The only thing salting my game is that I noticed some gray hairs in my eyebrows.  What the what?  I take a lot of different supplements, why haven't they figured out one to fix grey hair yet?  I feel like I need to do some more googling on that.  Meanwhile, my Glossier Boy Brow gel is going to do double time.

Digging on these new Prairie Underground joggers--you can feel like you are lounging in your sweats, BUT you will look super cool.  They are really cute on, love these!  Especially love the cropped length.

Signed, ME {lv}

 

 

Looking Ahead

I tend to be a big planner.  I have fun looking ahead and getting excited for what's coming.  I know that doesn't sound very "in the moment" but I do get a lot of enjoyment from thinking in the NOW about what's ahead.  Planning trips, special holidays, birthdays...yep, most all of it.  And if course, planning my wardrobe too - I'm always starting super early. Some people like to react spur of the moment...."oh, I need a summer dress, I'll go look for one right now."  Me, I'm looking NOW for that Summer dress because those impromptu shopping trips stress me out.  So it's no surprise that being in the clothing world has suited me perfectly, because it's ALL about planning and looking ahead.

Today Amanda and I went to look at FALL PJ Salvage, and FALL Lilla P.(the NW Apparel show is going on--it's small but there are still a few good designers there).  Yes, that's right, FALL.  Is it crazy that I can't wait to wear white linen, yet simultaneously I'm excited to wear the fuzzy PJ Salvage olive green vest that comes in September?  Wish I had taken a picture of that vest, it's seriously adorable (this is the little drawing from the line sheet to the right, but imagine something super soft and cuddle-icious).  I love our PJ Salvage rep, she's
absolutely hysterical and isn't fake or salesperson-y at all.  We can also manage to slip in all kinds of fun topics while still getting thru the huge line....like what bio-identicals she's taking, and the latest on what her son is doing (I met her son when he was probably 9 and she came to my house because she was on the road with her lines and I think I was probably pregnant or had a newborn, so she came to me instead of me seeing her at a show).  That 9 year old son is now 25 and works in LA.  Nothing like those numbers to make you feel old right?  

We also found a few other nuggets of goodness today (new designers that we really liked), so that was fun.  

I hit all elevator buttons with my elbow, and adhered to social distancing.  Just kidding, I didn't really adhere to social distancing, but I did use my elbow to touch the elevator buttons but to be fair, I kind of do that all the time because those things are SO dirty.  No, I'm still working hard to do the opposite of freaking out....instead, I'm just being my normal level of crazy.  Here's to having a happy, and freakout-free week.  

Signed, ME {lv}

Wonders Never Cease

I just want to take a moment to appreciate how amazingly possible BIG change is.  Two years ago if you had told me my husband of almost 23 years (that was 2 years ago), would someday work out all the time, lose 25 lbs and drop two pants sizes there would be NO way I would believe it.

As long as I've known John he's been a little thick around the middle.  We met in our early 20's and I think then he might have been leaner, but I can barely remember because it didn't last long.  He use to tell me that it was just "his body shape" because I, on more than one occasion, approached him with the harsh reality that he had gained quite a few pounds and it was bad for his overall health.  He was flummoxed for YEARS by even the suggestion that he might need to lose a little weight and work out.  He just didn't see it--like men sort of tend not to.  Women are acutely aware of their weight, fitness, and where they fall on the scale of physical fitness.  Men, not so much.  Usually he would lose weight in the summer when we were traveling and he was super active, but then gain it all back by Christmas.

Everything changed about a year ago, and I'm not entirely sure what the turning point was.  He was a solid 178 lbs, and then he started consistently working out 3 days a week, then 4, and next thing he knew he was down to 155.  Super lean flat abs for the first time in his life.  Maybe it was a mid life crisis, who knows, but all of the sudden it was like he realized at age 50 that he wasn't in fact in shape OR very healthy.  He'll now look back on a picture of himself 10 years ago and he's shocked that he looks so "puffy"--he's genuinely shocked, I find that baffling.

I know what you are thinking, did he get a girlfriend or engage in some illicit side action?  Yeah, I've seen enough movies, I thought about that too.  Nope, I don't actually think that was the motivation, I think it just finally dawned on him he could really change.  I also think once you make headway toward a big change you realize how awesome it is, and that motivates you even more.    

I contemplated all of this as I lay in my 8:30 a.m. yoga class that JOHN motivated me to go to with him.  That's right, he pushed ME to get out of bed at 7:50, and rally to yoga without coffee or breakfast.  John's favorite thing in life is food, so the fact that he'd actually get moving early, without breakfast AND coffee, all to exercise??  Needless to say, it seriously blows my mind.

It's a true testament to the fact that you can change, and surprise yourself and everyone you know.  It makes him happier and it makes me happier because I know he's physically so much healthier, I notice it in everything he does.  

So here's to changes (and wonders) that can amaze you at any time!

Signed ME {lv}

Less is More

I'm reminded this week that less can be more.  I've been off my regular yoga schedule--no hot yoga until my brows are cemented down.  So I've been taking a mixture of slow flow classes, and this morning I did a slow restorative meditation yoga class.  First I will say, it takes some mental flexibility for me to change things up, I am so married to my routine (which I love) that going outside of it throws me off more than it should.

What I will say, as I've gone thru my "new" week is that it's been really nice.  My regular classes are really physically demanding, and they are so dang hot.  They feel intense, always.  Sometimes though, less is more, and I feel like I've gotten so much out of going at a slower, less intense, and more reflective pace.  The stranger thing?  I've been SORE and it's like I took harder classes, but they were harder in new, softer ways (which apparently still made me sore).

On a new stuff note, I'm crazy for the little dainty rings from Jennifer Cervelli.  They come in gold, rose gold and silver, and they are wonderful solo but also stacked up.  I love the idea of making a wish and putting on the ring....three rings, three wishes.  When my brother in law (years and years ago), wanted to propose and used the excuse he had no money to buy a ring for the reason he wasn't doing it (not really the reason), I tried to convince him to buy these rings and pledge three romantic things to my sister (like I promise to love you forever, support your soul, and rug your feet when your tired....or whatever).  For the record, he didn't use my good idea.  Can't remember what he did, but it wasn't nearly as good...not even close.  

Oh, and I ALSO love the long Salt + Slate necklaces!!  How awesome is that going to look with a simple white
tank and white linen pants??   Also super cute wrapped around the wrist!!

Signed, ME {lv}

Pant Vents, Coronavirus Tag & Spring Weather

When you think of a 9 year old boy, you don’t think of style.  You think jeans and a tee-shirt, probably both dirty.  However, they are in fact very particular about WHAT they wear even when it wouldn't appear so.  Romeo currently only wears shorts and tee-shirts to school, the fact that it’s still 40 degrees when I drop him off makes no difference.  So I bought him a new pair of athletic shorts yesterday.  They are heather grey, with a drawstring/elastic waist.  As plain as plain can be really—no emblems, no weird colors.  I was just about to rip off the tags and wash them when he declares, “nope, don’t like them”. Uhm, why exactly?  Because they have a small vent on each side of the leg. That’s right, a small 1” vent on the outside of the leg is the “style deal breaker” for my 9 year old.  How quirky is that?

I also heard today from my friend who works at a school that the new game at recess is “coronavirus tag”. Leave it to kids to find a fun twist on a stressful virus.  Romeo declared that he’d be fine if “a bully at my school got sick with coronavirus because then they’d close down the school for a week.”  He clarified that he didn’t want anyone nice, or  in his class, OR his teacher to get sick though, but apparently he’s fine sacrificing the unnamed bully in the school for some much desired “no school days”.

Virus anxieties aside, it’s officially super springy outside here.  The weather has been so good, still cold in the morning but warming up above 50 degrees during the day which doesn't sound all that warm as I type it but somehow in the sun it feels warmer (or at least feels like the promise of warmer).  It has been bright and cheery outside, there are cherry blossoms, daffodils and budding flowers everything.  It’s awesome.   I have already spring cleaned thru my current closet, but this weekend I will officially pull all my winter clothes out of my closet and pack all of them away, it’s time! I’ve managed to wash a lot of my cashmere sweaters (it feels so great when you hand wash them vs. dry clean, the cashmere feels SO soft), and now I’m going to layer some Meyer dryer sheets between the sweaters, and put them into plastic storage bins.  Bye-bye heavy winter sweaters….miss you until next year!  Also time to say hello to Spring clothes!  

Signed, ME {lv}

Jumping to Conclusions, Sabotaged Yoga & Costco Mania

This is my daily reminder to myself to NOT make assumptions.  We all do it constantly, and sometimes it’s just utilitarian and necessary.  Sometimes it’s unfair and counter-productive.  I do it a lot with my older girls.  I got my undies all in a wad this morning when I couldn’t find a shirt I wanted to wear.  I was ready to tear into someone for stealing it without permission.  I had my finger on the trigger the second I realized the shirt wasn’t there.  To be fair, I’m not entirely crazy, they have stolen MANY things from me (their version is that it was “borrowed”), and it’s been a lot more than once that I’ve found things crumbled up on their bedroom floor.  Once Lucia even CUT a shirt of mine (cropping shirts is a big thing with teens and her excuse was that I never wear it).

Anyway, I was about to hit the fan this morning, angry energy was pouring out every pore of my body….and then I found the shirt, in the place I had put it away, and then forgotten I had put it away there (only to remember when I actually found it).  OOOOOHHHHH, yeah.

My point is this...Get your finger off the trigger, don't jump to conclusions.

My morning yoga class was sabotaged because I forgot to leave my door unlocked.   It’s house cleaning day, my one day where I get to enjoy a few hours of a clean house before the minors ravish it again.  It’s basically my favorite day.  I am suppose to leave the door unlocked, and even though I remembered everything else this morning and had plenty of time to finish the laundry, write their check, pick up all over the house (basically do a mini-clean before the deep clean), somehow I forgot the most important part. I know, first world problem, but still a bummer. 

So 5 minutes into the class my watch vibrates, and I can see it’s the cleaning service, and instantly I remember that I had forgotten.  I was so mad at myself!  Why is it that I have to literally write everything down or I forgot?  Can I blame it on peramenopause? I had to pack up all my crap and dash because otherwise my window of time would be over and they would write me off.  I get so much joy from yoga, but I DO also really love a clean house….there were clearly conflicting worlds today.

Almost lastly, I had my normal Costco food delivery today (there isn’t a Costco very close to us so I just have it delivered every couple of weeks).  The guy that usually comes is hysterical, with dreadlocks that go past his butt, a big laugh, and he's always full of jokes.  So we got to chatting and he told me stories about the current Costco mania.  Apparently people are stocking up x 10.  Understandably people are nervous, but I didn’t realize quite how bad until he showed me pictures of the line for checkout on Saturday (no joke, it was like a 4 hour line), and the huge cart flats he was filling for orders.  I had ordered garbanzo beans and he informed me there wasn’t a “bean to be had” in all of Costco…and apparently it was a good thing I didn’t need toilet paper either because there was a run on that too.    I’ll say it again, my goal is to NOT freak out despite all the current events.  He told me that he delivered a big flat shopping cart of soda pop to a woman.   No joke, he showed me the cart, and there had to be 50 big things of soda stacked on it, every kind imaginable.  I said it must have been for the woman's restaurant, or a school carnival or SOMETHING other than 'end of the world prep'?  No such luck, he actually asked her, and indeed, she wasn't worried about running out of water, but she was REAL worried about running out of pop.  True story.

Lastly, for real, how cute does Amanda look in in the header picture wearing the new EF (tee, cardigan and scarf)??  Such a cute group!

Signed, ME {lv}

Brow Update, Cold Confusion & Beet Chips

I went shopping with Gia this morning because she announced yesterday that she needed new clothes and Gia rarely shops, and when she does, rarely buys anything because she's 12 year old picky.  So this was a big deal.  Apparently the 6th grade styling is changing, and now everyone is wearing a dress to school (and she has none).  So we we went shopping, and I will tell you, never in my life have I noticed how many sick people there are!  It's of course because everywhere you turn people are saying, "avoid sick people".  You also hear constantly that corvid-19 can be contagious even if people have mild symptoms.  Well, everyone seemed to be coughing and or sniffling.  It's still winter, so it's totally normal of course, but now when you hear it all you can think is "cold, or corona?  It's confusing.  We stopped to get gas and the guy who took my credit card literally took it, coughed on it, put it into the machine and then handed it back.  Time to find the hand sanitizer.   I'm sticking with my effort to not freak out, so this is more of just a commentary, but how the heck can we stop a virus when literally everyone seems to be sick and unless they are the 1 out of 5 people who get serious enough symptoms to go to the doctor, they could be passing it all over the place and not realize it.  How many times have I muscled thru and gone to the grocery store, or run errands feeling sick (because you kind of have to sometimes)?  Too many to count.   

Update on my microbladed brows...it's still hard to tell whether they will be amazing.  I only had them done yesterday, so I'm still very much in the healing process.  Microblading is basically tiny cuts that they fill with ink--it's sort of like a tattoo, but not as deep and they're strokes rather than dots.  The procedure itself didn't hurt, but my face sort of ached last night from it. They warn you though that your brows will be sort of an odd auburn color for a 3-4 days (because the cuts basically are red, and that combines with the ink to form an auburn color), and then your brows go DARK....Groucho Marx dark, 'I took a sharpie to my brows' dark.  They also shrink over the first week, so they are, as of now, still very large and in charge, AND dark (but with a funky auburn tint).  It's not pretty and I can't look at anyone very long because I know they are inevitable going to stare at my eyebrows.  I think when I'm healed up though, and they lighten up, I'm going to love them...but right now it's still a little hard to tell.  

I did also make the most delicious beet chips last night, and they were so easy that I'm going to rethink my whole attitude toward beets (which use to be that they are hard to cook).  I simply sliced them thin (if I had a mandolin I'd really be in business).  Then I drizzled them with olive oil and chunky salt and cooked them until crispy.  YUM.  Really yum.  I'm a firm advocate of any vegetable drowned in olive oil and salt and crisped in the oven--it's like a chip, and I love chips.

Also very delightful is the new Eileen Fisher.  It's full of white, and I LOVE white, especially paired with little punches of color.  You know how lots of people gravitate toward classic black?  I gravitate toward white, love white head to toe, and feel like it's my preferred essential color.  I'd wear white linen 100% of the time if I lived in a tropical climate.  No joke.  It's a pretty awesome group though, with lots of wonderful pieces (this might have been my personal favorite Spring EF group)!

Signed, ME 

The Opposite of Freaking Out

The is my goal for March--to do the opposite of freaking out.  You can't watch the news from any source, or talk to just about anyone, and not have a panic attack for one reason or another.  I thought it would only be election year stress, but with the new coronavirus there's a whole new layer of stress.  It's hard not to get yourself all whipped up and prepping for doomsday.  

Just go try to find hand sanitizer, disinfectant wipes, or face masks, you'll find empty shelves and frantic people searching everywhere and paying exorbitant prices, there's panic in the air.  I'm not saying the concerns aren't legitimate, they definitely are understandable.  We are in unchartered territory and the unknown is scary for everyone.  Freaking out though?  I think we can do without it.

So when I pondered what my goals for March were, I decided it was first and foremost to NOT freak out.  Instead, I'm going to do the opposite and I'm going to take a deep breath and chill out.  

So when people ask me if I have two weeks supply of food because they read somewhere that it was recommended by the CDC, I'm going to say, "yes, but that's because everyone should have two weeks of food for any disaster that might happen (natural or otherwise)". When people ask me if I'm going to cancel travel plans, my answer is, "no, but we might wear masks on the plane as a precaution."  Things will be ok, no matter what, because we'll make sure they are.  Freaking out isn't going to help, or make life better, or stop something bad from happening.   Stress isn't great for your body, but relaxing, sleeping well and washing your hands IS good for your immune system so that seems like a better route.

So each day of March we're going to send out a good mantra for the day, one that calms and empowers, and I hope everyone remembers to just take a deep breath, not get caught up in the mania of panic, and remember that it will be ok.  March will bring the start of spring, the rebirth of everything dormant, and hopefully some sunshine....bring it on!

Signed, ME {lv}

The Power To Do What You Want

I walked with a friend this morning in the beautiful sunshine and it felt like food for the soul.  I had planned on going to a noon yoga class, but then right before I needed to leave I realized that I didn't quite feel like going.  I usually always feel like going, and I'm completely a creature of habit.  I also tend to be a little OCD with my schedule and rituals and feel guilty when I don't follow thru.  But here's the thing that is awesome.  You can change your mind.  You can do whatever you want and you don't have to feel bad or guilty about it.  It's so basic.  So simple.  It felt liberating to remind myself though, and good to follow thru with doing what my body and heart felt like doing--regardless of what I had written in my bullet journal.

So that's it.  Remember that you have the power to do what feels right for YOU.  That means you can change your mind, change your attitude, change your style....and you can own it fully.  AND, it will feel good.

Have an amazing Saturday, filled with everything that feels right for YOU.

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Uncomfortable Change, Microblading & Summer Cover Ups

Yoga was tough today.  All around.  It was definitely a day I felt like I might just have to NOT do one more forearm plank.  The message was good though, it was all about how uncomfortable any change was, and how even the changes you want to make, need to make, or are otherwise totally welcome, come with the uncomfortableness of making the change and losing your old patterns.   We all gravitate toward what we know, good or bad, and that makes the "new" inherently tougher to embrace.  It was a good reminder, and I for one need constant reminders.

The big news....I've got an appointment for microblading Saturday morning.  I'm super excited, and I'm really, REALLY hoping that it looks ok.  In my head it'll be great because my brows will always be perfect--no maintenance needed.  As it is now, I usually grab my eyebrow pencil and do them in the car rearview mirror at a stoplight and then inevitably they look a little wonky in some way or another.  Maybe if we did them in a real mirror each morning and took some time it would be fine, but that NEVER happens.  So here's to hoping they will look amazing.  Downside is that you aren't suppose to do any super sweaty workouts for 4 days (so no hot yoga), AND they look freakishly dark the first few days until they flake off and mellow out.  So it may not be my best looking weekend unfortunately, but that's the price.  Come Tuesday or Wednesday though, look out...I'll keep you posted.

Lastly, my mission is to start stock piling light and airy things for summer that will protect my skin.  We're going to Greece and Turkey, and it's going to be warm and sunny--really warm, and really sunny.  I'm not sure if its and age thing or what, but last summer was a freaky intro into pigment malfunction.  I do not need even ONE more sunspot, and I've now spent all winter trying to get rid of them so I'm going to do everything short of carry around an umbrella this summer (and I'm not even totally opposed to that).  I'm looking to find light and airy fabrics, with as much coverage as possible, AND hats.  The new Margaret O'Leary skirt caught my eye--perfect example of coverage, yet light and airy.  I also want one of the Shebobo hats (super silly name, cute hats). I'm going to pop that brim out and  protect my face (along with 10 layer of SPF).  I'll admit, I'm super jealous of all the women I see who have gorgeous olive skin and tan perfectly the second they are out in the sun.  I'm just a sea of sun spot freckles.  Ugh.  

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Spring Cleaning Stage 2

I'm feeling SO proud of myself!  I took 3 hours today and I made some serious headway on my re-organization/spring cleaning!  I did all the horrible stuff we all hate to do....like cleaning the junk drawer, attacking the hall closet, going thru the drawers in the media stand that accumulate stuff somehow.  I have at least two kids who are too lazy to put anything away in its proper place (especially if it involves walking up any stairs), so in the media stand drawers I found tampons, a plate, tons of pens, usb cords, and loads of empty wrappers from snacks, cups...the list went on.  It was maddening.

I powered thru though, and then I did something worse than all of the above.  I got out the upholstery cleaning machine, heated up extra hot water, and worked on getting the dripped candle wax off the tv room sofa.  Yes, down the entire side arm was wax that "mysterious" was dripped.  Sounds safe doesn't it?  Of course there was fervent denial from both teens (they lie though, and their motto is deny, deny, deny).  Anyway, it was a horrible task and I have dreaded it for weeks.  I'm happy to say though, it's DONE!!!!

So my point in all of this, is that as much as I was dragging my feet, I'm so glad I put some time in because it felt amazing to purge and organize.  I ended up with four large garbage bags full of stuff....and I'm not even done!  Sometimes the anticipation of doing jobs you don't want to do is worse than the actual job itself.  I instantly felt lighter going thru the closets and clearing stuff out--I felt the energy flowing much better.  It's a great feeling, I'd forgotten how great it feels to just tackle the thing you don't feel like tackling.

My reward?  Yes, because I feel like I deserve one for sure.  I'm going to have a little beauty
night with some of my favorite Melange beauty purchases.  #1, bath with a Latika bath bomb (these smell great and are just fun), and while I'm taking a bath I'm #2 doing a mask from Nash & Jones (the fossil mask).  Then I'm going to #3 do the Elizabeth W. lip scrub.  #4 Nash & Jones body lotion (love this stuff), #5 I'm going to jump into cozy jammies and #6 do my nails in the Priti NYC Sea Holly color (just because its fun and different).  A little TLC for me.

Lastly, I just want to make a report on my weekly organic fruit and veggie box.  I can say (and I realize it's only week #1) that so far, it's been awesome.  Besides the obvious of wanting fresh and organic fruits and veggies, I was hoping that it would push me outside of my veggie comfort zone and force me to diversify.  I love veggies, but I am the first to admit I get lazy.  I might not buy beets, simply because they are more labor intensive. Well, tonight I made bok choy, which for me is totally diversifying.  I just don't generally cook it, but I did it tonight because I got it in my box and didn't want to waste it.  I've also had two kinds of kale this week (granted, I made both kinds into crispy kale chips loaded with olive oil and salt), but still.   I'm excited for week #2!

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Ear Piercing

There was a time that I was much more conservative as a parent.  When Ava, my oldest, asked to get her ears pierced I made her wait until she was "old enough".  When she asked to get second piercing the answer was, "absolutely NOT."  The same went for hair dye, bikinis and makeup.  

But truthfully, it didn't last long because Ava is, unfortunately or fortunately, an unrelenting child (the CIA could use her interrogation purposes, she's be better than water boarding.)  She wore me down year after year, and I consider myself to be fairly tough.

Fast forward to today.  My second daughter, Lucia, now 15, asked me to give her a second piercing.  Well, not exactly.  She actually GAVE herself a second piercing on one ear, but then came upstairs to ask me to do the second one because it was harder to do the "other ear."  That's right, she pierced the first ear herself, with a long needle, some alcohol and an apple--I didn't even realize she was doing it. Girl has nerves of steel.  When I asked her why she didn't wait and have it done at one of those mall kiosks she said, "you need a parent's permission to do it and it costs like $50."  So apparently she didn't consider asking for my permission, but kudos to her for saving $50.  

So when she came up and asked me to the second ear, I felt obligated to help.  She was one ear in, and clearly not feeling confident about the second hole (and it's tricky to get them even.). She's been a handful lately, so stabbing her thru the ear with a sharp object didn't seem entirely ridiculous. 

So I did it.  It was awful--it goes against your instinct as a parent to actually stab something into your child that isn't for life saving purposes.  It did however bring back a very old memory of a high school party, my best friend, and a similar ear piercing situation (I honestly can't remember if she pierced mine or I did hers--she couldn't' remember either.)  I can recall the orange we used to hold behind the ear, and the wine coolers we were drinking for courage (remember those awful things?), which are probably responsible for our poor memory of the whole thing.

So that's it, I've come full circle from piercing ears in high school, to piercing my own daughters ears. I'll add that to the list of things I never I thought I would do.

Yoga today was good, but the best part really was at the very end when we were just about to say namaste and get out of that hot sweaty room and she said "I see you."  For some reason that phrase really hit me, and stuck with me.  It's what everyone wants, it's universal.  To be seen.  It's funny though, rarely does someone say it out loud like that.  It was lovely I will say.

We had more sun today.  It's official, Spring is almost here!  I finished my closet today, and have my piles of stuff to get rid of.  There were winter pieces that won't make the cut and it's nice because now when I go to put my winter clothes away for good (which will be very soon), I will only be putting away stuff that I know I want for next year.  I'm also methodically going thru and washing my cashmere, de-pilling it and then when I pack it away I'm going to use some of the Meyer's dryer sheets in the plastic bins so that they come out smelling wonderful next winter.  The only thing better than cashmere, is good smelling cashmere.

Signed, ME {lv}

Teary Yoga

I know I talk about yoga a lot, but I can’t help myself.  Today was an intense class.  The instructor is one of my favorites, and she had just come off of an intensive weekend training and she warned us that she was a bit raw.  This is what I love about yoga, it’s so much more than just the poses, it’s really all in your head, that’s where the real work is.

Anyway, she talked about she felt during this training program she attended, which basically amounted to “unworthy”.  It was that feeling of walking into a room and feeling like everyone had a better job, more education, better outfit, prettier, funnier….basically that everyone is out of your league.  Who hasn’t felt that way?  Part of the training during the weekend was to tap into what was holding you back, what made you feel unaccepted, or unworthy.  She shared a memory of her father (who died suddenly when she was in her teens), and how he had come to a diving meet (after rarely ever coming) and said, “I just thought you’d be better by now.”  So part of her cathartic weekend, was coming to accept herself, and her father’s limitations, and forgiveness. All in order to move thru them and keep them from holding her back or being the excuse that held her back.  As she was telling her memory of her father she broke into tears.  It was such a vulnerable moment for her, and she was willing to share it with everyone. Another reason I love yoga.

She quoted someone…I think it was Eckhart Tolle, who said, “First there must be acceptance. Then you can begin.” All the things (insert people, circumstances etc.) that hold you back, are things you haven’t fully accepted yet. 

She went on to teach a hard ass class….lots and lots of arm work.  Another reason I love yoga.

On a totally other note, my other favorite thing (clothes) deserves a little shout out too.  I just got the Anni Kuan Kite top, and can I just say how great it is??  I think this is such a perfect morphing top….it can morph from day to night, or season to season.  Super cute on too (love the sleeves), and I think it will make a great travel piece. I like that it isn’t black, but it’s not a washed out grey either—it’s that great in-between that manages to still look fresh and not dreary.  It took me a long time to warm up to Anni’s fabrics (I couldn’t get past the fact that they weren’t “all natural”) but I have come to totally trust her ability to find fabrics that feel, wear, drape and wash really, REALLY well.  I’m never disappointed. I have her flight pants in black, but now I know I need them in the grey too because it would be fantastic worn with the top—a lá jumpsuit style. 

I will also say, that I’m enjoying my Child perfume and body cream almost every day.  Last I heard Cammi had totally converted to loving it too.  Initially when I asked her if she liked it she said, “well, it’s not for me really.” The smell changes a lot on your skin, and at first smell from the bottle it can feel a little bold, but softens and mellows so beautifully on the skin.  She now has confirmed she’s completely in love with it too.  I just really adore the small roller ball size, it’s always in my purse and I love that I can dab it on during the day.

Lastly, Romeo wore shorts and a tee shirt today….it probably didn’t get warmer than 52 degrees outside. When we walked the dog in the late afternoon he said, “mommy, I hate to tell you, but I think it’s because you are over 40 that you are cold because I’m always comfortable OR I’m too hot.”  So apparently my advanced age is making me cold. Who knew?   

Getting Organized For March (and Spring)

It's the last week of February, which officially means, March is RIGHT around the corner.  This gets me in the mood for some spring cleaning.  Time to start prepping for the new season to come since March is almost here and March = Spring.   I know it's early, but I've waited before, and then all of a sudden it's a rush and I'm shoving wool sweaters into bins and searching for my spring stuff.  

So I'm starting on my closet first. First thing I did was to pull everything out of my closet and anything I haven't worn in a year gets a super hard look and theoretically goes in the "to go" pile.  There was an article in Elle that said, "If you haven't worn it in a year, what makes you think you're going to wear it now? Don't hoard items under false pretenses."  I think that sort of sums it up.  It's really easy to make excuses about why you did or didn't wear it, or why you "might" wear it at some point.  The truth is though, if you didn't wear it, you most likely won't because if you really think about it, there's a REASON why you didn't wear it.    

Cocktail dresses, dressy outfits and formal wear are excluded from this rule.  I hold on to pieces for years, and I can go a year or two (or more) before looking at it again.  Good pieces are worth hanging on to.  

I do have some other exceptions to the one year rule that I found.  Really nice pieces that for whatever reason just didn't make the rotation this year but I know I can't part with.  Example, a double oversized Margaret O'Leary cashmere wrap with fringe.  I didn't wear it this winter, but it's a keeper for sure. I did however, part with a Prairie Underground top that I've held on to for two years, and haven't worn it once.  It's darling, but in the end just doesn't fit me quite right.  There's something about it that doesn't work on me but it's subtle so when I see it's cuteness hanging in the closet, I think I must be able to find a good outfit for it right?  I can't though, and I won't. I decided not to hoard it any longer.  Not everything you buy is a winner, but it's so much worse if you let it just take up space and energy in your closet when someone else can use and love it.

Truthfully that's the only thing I did toward my spring cleaning/March organization so far, and it took me a long time (and I'm only 3/4 the way thru and that might be generous).  Tomorrow I'm going to mock up a list of all the other spring cleaning things I want to knock out and then a reasonable schedule to do it.  Plus I'm definitely going to need some reward at the end of it to help motivate me (something new and Springy maybe?)

Signed, ME {lv}

 

 

Acceptance & Hotter Than You Think

I don't usually go to yoga on the weekends, but I did today.  It was a great class, and the messaging was all about acceptance.  Acceptance of yourself, of the things you can change and the things you can't.  It was a really good class, and I needed it.  You know how I know I needed it?  As I lay there in the first couple of minutes of class, when I was suppose to be thinking about relaxing, and focusing in, I had crazy monkey mind instead.  The kind that goes like this..."I left the kids alone, hope they are ok, Lucia is up with her friend and she said her room smelled funny, but what if you lights a candle, and what if her friend knocks it over, and then her drapes catch on fire, those drapes are so long, and then the whole room goes up in flame, where are the fire distinguishers downstairs, would Romeo and Gia know what to do, what about the dog, maybe I should go home, I should really be there in the morning, they are going to make a mess in the kitchen, I hope no-one uses the new sharp knife, what if they end up getting cut, what will they do, we probably don't even have bandaids, but what if the ambulance has to come, i should have told them not to cook anything, boy my underwear feel tight, I wonder if I shrank them."

For real.  That stream of consciousness was about 10 seconds, and it only got worse from there.  Sometimes I shocked by how much your mind can get squirrelly and spend so much energy running around chasing nothing.

In the spirit of acceptance though, I recognized that I just was what it was.  That was where I was at today....and it was ok.  I worked with it, and did the best I could.  

My only other reminder for everyone is that you are hotter than you think.  If you doubt me, just look back on a picture of yourself 10 years ago (long story, but suffice it to say, I'm looking at old photos.)  I bet you'll think, "dang, I looked pretty good."  We are our own worst critic in the moment.  So just remember that this is as young as you'll ever be from here on out, and you are hotter than you think.   Appreciate yourself, you are beautiful!

 

Signed, ME {lv}

 

 

Sun & Flowers, 5 Cents Bags & Midnight Vacuums

We have one of those floor robots that vacuums automatically.  Theoretically this would work great.  In practice, something always goes wrong.  It’ll get trapped under a chair, or will stop working because someone forgets to empty the dirt bag.  The latest issue is that it randomly, and without logic, starts vacuuming in the middle of the night.  It keeps waking me up at 2 a.m., and that is because for two days in a row I’ve #1 neglected to figure out the problem and #2 forgotten to just shut the whole thing down. I’ll tell you right now, there is nothing more annoying than being woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of vacuuming.   I’m writing about this mainly because I want to cement it into my brain, so that there is hope that I can remember to fix it or turn it off before tonight.

The other thing I keep forgetting, since we’re on the topic, is my re-usable bag!!!  I have several cute ones thanks to the YaY bags we carry, but I KEEP FORGETTING THEM when I go into the grocery store.  It’s terribly annoying, and made worse now that it’s state law that you have to pay 5 cents for a paper bag.  The money part isn’t so bad, what’s bad is that each time you go into any store they ask you, “do you want to buy a bag for 5 cents.”  So then each time you are reminded that you forgot again, and you are annoyed because you have one sitting in your car.   So not only do you have to pay 5 cents, but you have to be “that person” who didn’t bring their bag (and it seems everyone else I see in line manages to remember them.)   I would like to promise myself that I won’t check out from the grocery store UNLESS I have a bag, but I’m pretty sure I won’t stick with that. 

I’m happy to say we had a sunny, gorgeous day today.  Blue skies that made you feel like it might be warm (it’s not really), but it’s a wonderful preview of what’s to come.  Our cherry blossoms are blooming too, which are uncharacteristically early this year (last year we had 2 or 3 legit snow days at this exact time of year).  It’s absolutely amazing! 

So. here’s to everyone having a wonderful weekend, that you remember to do everything you need to do AND that you get some sunshine.

Signed, ME {lv}

Memento Mori

Amanda and I had a conversation yesterday about my Xanax worthy anxiety that I'm having right now.  John just left for his Panama trip with my brother-in-law where they will surf and dive.  Because of all of the serious health issues that crept up with my father-in-law, I’m irrationally scared that something is going to happen to John.  Yoga is barely helping, that's show bad it is.

Amanda, in her wisdom beyond her years, talked me off the ledge. She has already been faced with her worst fears regarding death and losing a loved one, and so she has perspective the hard way.  People like me, who live in anticipation of their greatest fear, have no perspective yet, just fear.  

She said, “if I'm being completely honest, I kind of appreciate people when they live with a little bit of the anxiety of the inevitable, means you aren't taking it for granted.  You're trying, and appreciating what life is, and who is in it.”

So if I can clamp down my anxiety to a tolerable degree, I think she is right, being aware of the fragility of life isn’t a bad thing, and once you are aware of it, you can’t help but be somewhat anxious but you also are hyper aware of all that you have in the moment.

She also forwarded me two things, the latin phrase: memento mori, and the quote:

"let us prepare our minds as if we'd come to the very end of life. let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life's books each day. The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time" – Seneca

Memento Mori translates to “remember (that) you will die.”  It’s the idea that the contemplation of death is an appropriate way to appreciate life.

So now I’m contemplating that this post might sound a little morose.  It’s not meant to, it’s meant to be a reminder that life is short, and to appreciate all the joys you can in the moment. I know I've talked about it before, it's a common thread running through my head these days.

Of course, because I love a good pivot, I”ll just say that I’m fully enjoying the new Velvet group.  I just love the line, it's super high up on my "things I wear" list.  I think I might have said that about Margaret O’Leary, Lilla
P. and Anni Kuan that came in this week too.  We’re so lucky to carry such wonderful designers, it’s all such a treat when they come in.   This is one of my favorite little white tees, I love it....although I think I'll probably actually wear a bra, unlike the model they used.  I mean really, no on does that in real life??!!  The sleeves are awfully sweet though.

Signed, ME {lv}

Barn Drama & Unexpected Friends

First I want to start out by saying how much I absolutely LOOOOVE the barn that I board Zinc at. The owner is incredible (makes all the difference), my trainer boards her horses there (so I end up getting a lot more special attention/tips and tricks), and the setting is incredible. LV has her yoga, I have my time at the barn. It's so peaceful and relaxing to be out there. Like a little reset. Some days things are hard, and don't go as planned, but it just makes the good days that much better.

 

...But the drama. Oh man. You'd think it was a mini highschool. There are major cliques and groups, and people that don't like each other, the whole thing. It's fascinating to watch grown women read too much into why someone didn't put the cones back EXACTLY where they had found them, or how many shavings someone put in their stall vs someone else's stall. I love people watching, and binge watching a great drama, so this perfectly combines the two. I mostly keep my head down, and do my own thing - it's my happy place, I don't need to worry about anything but playing with horses and breathing in fresh air out there.

 

A few months ago a new woman starting boarding her horse at the barn. We'll call her Ginny. Mostly because her name is Ginny, but also because her horse's name is Jack, and I think the names Ginny and Jack sound cute together. She was a little odd at first - I would say hi to her, or ask her how its going, and she wouldn't reply. Like at all. Zippo. Sometimes she say, "good" when I asked her how she's doing, but not a chance she would return the question to me, or comment on the weather. Nothing. Maybe this was just a new barn dynamic? Maybe she just doesn't like small talk? Or did I unknowingly offend her in some way? 

 

As she settled in to her routine out at the barn, our schedules overlapped a lot. She's out there every weeknight at 5:30 sharp, and I am usually there around that time as well. Zinc's stall is right across from Jack's so we had to figure this awkward dynamic out. I couldn't be out there in silence every night thinking she hated me - or worse yet, my horse! LOL. So every night I made it my mission to say hi and engage with her in some way. Comment on how her horse is adjusting to his new home, ask her why she feeds the grain she does, or how long she's been working with Jack, etc. She would answer the questions, to the point. No embellishments. But she didn't seem to hate me, so I made it my mission to connect with her in some way, and kept plugging away at it. Fast forward a few months, and now, I might even call us friends. Barn Friends at the very least. :) We have long conversations (about horses - I literally know nothing else about Ginny...we only talk about horses, and anything to do with horses), and she even says "hi" when she sees me and waves! It's a BIG deal!! She's super sweet, and VERY interesting. And, she knows a TON, and is incredibly helpful.

 

Last week, as we were talking, she invited me to this riding group she's a part of. WHAT?!? It made my day! I went from thinking she wanted nothing to do with me, chipped away at her with little bits of kindness, and now she's asking me to do things with her! Now when I hear Ginny's truck pulling up, not only do I know its exactly 5:30, but I get excited to talk to her. Maybe she's just quiet at first, or maybe she's shy, or maybe she knows after all of her years of experience to keep to herself in barns to avoid any drama, but I'm so glad she opened up to me, and now we can be barn friends! I am also glad I gave her a chance, and didn't just accept my first impression of her as how it was. It would have been easier to just let it go at first, but not nearly as rewarding.

 

Here's a pic of the sunset from tonight because it was incredible, and I want it to put a smile on everyone's face like it did for me. :)

 

Signed, ME {AT}

Cards, Burmese Food & Layering Perfection

I’m currently obsessed with cards.  Real cards that you hold in your hand and stick in the mail with a stamp (remember those things?)  Not ecards, or emoji-cards, or anything electronic. Not to be hating on the modern era, but I really do miss the days when people sent mail, and your mailbox might actually contain something other than junk mail or catalogues.  I get SO excited when I get a card in the mail...which I will tell you right now, is next to never.

We got in a new shipment of All My Layers, which I think are just darling cards, with sweet simple sentiments.  I also love that they are $5 which is totally reasonable (no joke, I went into a fancy paper store the other day and it was $7.95 for a card which just seems excessive.)  I took a moment to send out a card today for a girlfriend just because I missed her (she lives in town but I never see her enough) and I even went to the supermarket to get stamps (there is ONE small supermarket near me that still sells stamps…even my bank doesn’t do it anymore)!   It’s up to our generation to keep this art alive and teach our kids otherwise it’ll be no time before they are baffled by the possibility that something might come in the mailbox that they might have to read.  

I find it fascinating that my teens do ALL of their communicating via snapchat and Instagram stories.  They don’t text, they don’t email.  My 15 year old wasn’t even sure what her email was when I asked her the other day. They don’t use landlines, and they don’t write letters or send cards.  I hate to sound like an old timer, but what is the world coming to?

On a totally other note (and I mean a complete and total pivot), I have recently become obsessed with Burmese food.  Actually, mostly just ONE Burmese dish, and lots of their coconut rice.  It’s a pickled green tea leaf salad and it’s amazing (cabbage, tea leaves, peanuts, some oil and sesame seeds...and other stuff I'm sure.)  I can’t even branch out to order anything different because I’m so obsessed with the salad.  John and I went to lunch today and I ordered the salad and he ordered a curry beef.  She brought this huge salad bowl out, two plates and big serving tongs.  Then I had to inform her that no, I didn’t plan on sharing, and yes, I did plan on eating that thing myself.  And I did. So here’s a nod to Burmese food, which I would have probably never rush to try except my friend served take out from this place at a little impromptu dinner she invited us to.  It was amazing and I was instantly hooked.  What if I hadn’t ever tried it?  I would never have known how delicious it was.  That’s a real argument for trying new things.  I will also note, that I zoned in on this today in yoga too when the teacher specifically said, "today try something you've never tried before, reach for something new."  Side crow here I come.

We got in Lilla P. today, and I know it’s probably the most boring aspect of the group (actually, not probably, it’s most definitely), but the new stretch layering pieces are fantastic. They come in all the usual suspects (black, white and nude) and in a camisole version and the scoop tank version. They are fantastic!  Great length, great stretch fabric, great fit.  These are the perfect foundational pieces I always need and never have handy.   I’ve tried a lot of basics like this, from all kinds of places (including Target, and big box stores), and I’ve been very disappointed overall.   Target actually has a decent tank for sleeping in, but it’s not nice enough to actually wear under something where it might peek out  (like a low cut v-neck or a partially unbuttoned shirt).  These pieces from Lilla P. look super nice, and they wear really well (plus I love that it's primarily cotton.)  There is nothing worse than not having the right layering piece to go under something you have that you want to wear and with all the slightly sheer stuff that comes with spring/summer styles, these are going to be perfect!

One last note....has anyone noticed that it's staying noticeably lighter later?  It's 5:45 p.m. and it's still light outside!!!  That's progress, Spring is definitely coming!

Signed, ME {lv} 

Meet The New Anni Kuan

Spring is the kick off of Anni Kuan’s brand new, laser focused and über inspired group.  She decided last Summer to give her clothing line and business a makeover (which is being debuted now.)  She streamlined everything within her company, and she tailored down her line to a much smaller capsule of only the pieces she really, really loved, and really believed in.  Her epiphany was that she was designing and creating a bigger line to support an entire operation with her business and organization--the cart was pulling the horse.  She decided to scale back, only produce the pieces she felt passionate about, and to strip down her overhead to a simple operation that would make it easier for her to not feel external pressures to design a certain way, or satisfy a certain client, or “sell” what she didn’t feel super driven about.

She was getting lost in the rat race essentially, so she forcefully pulled herself out of the race, and reinvented herself—or perhaps a better way of saying it is that she “found herself” again.

The result?  It’s a small, and amazing collection, and when you talk to her she’s passionate about each single piece, and each and every piece has a multi-layered use.  She’s thought out how it pairs with everything else in the collection (and outside of the collection.)  I think it’s quite possibly the best spring/summer group she’s ever created.

My personal favorite is the Tonnero jacket.  It’s expensive, and my only hesitation was about the price honestly.  But once you see it and put it on, you realize how unique and wonderful it is—and worth the tag price.  It’s one of those jackets that you can throw on over a white tank, pair it with your favorite jeans and a pair of tennis shoes and feel totally great in. You can also couple it with some cool wide leg, high waisted black pants for work.  It’s got all kinds of possibilities, and it’s this oddly timeless style, that still manages to look very “now”.  

The only problem with Anni’s collection is that honestly, every piece feels indispensable, so you want them all, and I could argue that they are all must-haves, so choosing is going to be hard....do we have to?? 

Signed, ME {lv}

The World Of Gifts, Jewelry, Accessories & Beauty

You’ve probably noticed that Melange has picked up a LOT of small gift, accessories, and jewelry items lately.  We’re branching out a little deeper into all kinds of little treasures.

 

When I was in Europe last summer, and traveling in Spain, Portugal & France in particular, one of my favorite things to do was to shop the little boutiques.  There are SO many, and while I’m sure there are plenty of the big box stores as well, in the areas we gravitated toward (old sections of town, little villages etc.), there were ONLY boutiques.  What I loved about the little shops over there was what a wide variety of things they carried.  You’d walk into a little store and it would be filled with such diversity.  When I say little, I mean LITTLE.  To have three people in the store at the same time would seem crowded.  I’m visualizing this little neighborhood shop in Bordeaux right now in particular.  It was tucked into a block of apartments, with really not much around it in terms of retail other than the grocery store ½ a block up that we went to regularly, and the drug store 2 blocks the other way that we also went to.  There might have been other stores, but honestly the hours were so sporadic and odd that I didn’t actually see them ever open.

 

Anyway, this tiny little shop was darling, and while they didn’t have a ton of anything, they had a little of everything.  I could buy a pair of cute sandals, or earrings, or a dress, or a little zippered yellow animal print pocketbook (which is what I actually DID buy).  It was clearly the neighborhood boutique, and curated with only the things she liked the most in such a darling and special way.  

 

That was my inspiration. We’ve always carried a little jewelry here and there, and we’ve dabbled in certain accessories more than others (like scarves), but I wanted to find more....great hair items, and the coolest handful of beauty things, and maybe a perfume or two that we loved.  Well, we’re definitely on the way to creating that shop with a million wonderful treasures in it.  I walk in now and think, “I could totally find everything I need here from a birthday gift, to a new lip gloss, to a basic white cami, to a new dress or pair of jeans.)   It's a slow process though for us to get to know all the different gift, beauty, accessory, and jewelry options out there and then find the designers that we can really get excited about--ones that have a story to tell, and a purpose in what they are creating.  We've definitely found some good ones though.  I'm a huge fan of Collin Garrity vases (they are just beautiful), and Elizabeth W. lip scrub (which I only mention because I literally just used it last night and it was amazing.)

 

We're still getting the hang of the right quantities to buy, and how to merchandise it so that everyone sees how awesome all these things are (vs. them getting lost in the shuffle).  It’s coming together slowly but surely though, and we hope everyone enjoys the new goodies, there will be more to come in 2020!

 

Signed, ME {lv}

 

 

 

 

Long Weekends

I’ve had 4 cups of tea today, watched 3 movies, read, gone into the hot tub twice, made sushi rolls, took one freezing cold walk, and went to the grocery store where I paid entirely too much for an avocado (among a lot of other things.). We’re in Sunriver for the long weekend.  I’m home with the two little kids who didn’t ski today (Romeo has a cold and Gia only wanted to ski one of the two days).  John’s got the older girls on the mountain.

It’s been a long lazy day, one that included a lot of eating, and a lot of lounging in front of the fire.

It’s also a day during which I spent a lot of time thinking about the moment, and how lucky we are to all be here together as a family.  On our drive up here (5 hours with traffic) we got some very tough news about my father-in-law’s health--very tough, and a shock.  It was jolting reminder that time is short, and that we don’t know what each day brings.  Everything I saw, did, and experienced today was consumed with the sense that it’s ALL important, and it’s ALL momentary.     

So here’s to enjoying every lounging moment, all the time with our loved ones and friends, and the beautiful places we get to be.  We can’t control how long we have the people we love, but we can make the most of every minute we have.  I’m drinking whiskey on the rocks as I write, and I’m toasting the moment.

Signed, ME {lv}

p.s. Total side note, but you know what the most coveted thing has been so far on this weekend?  The PJ Salvage charcoal luxe blanket that I had bought and threw in the car last minute because I thought someone might want to sleep in the car.  Well, turns out this house we're renting has no throws, so Gia and Romeo have fought over that blanket which has been a cozy addition to the movies, fire and big overstuffed leather chairs.

Guest Room Obsession

Over a year ago, way back in 2018, Todd and I sold our first house we lived in together. Then, we couldn't find another house right away - and if I'm being completely honest, didn't want to be stressed out with selling a house and buying at the same time. Plus, the market was super good for selling, not so much for buying, and everyone kept saying the bubble will pop and things will go down, which would put us in a great spot to buy, but that never happened - so we lived with my parents. For OVER a year. Yes. You read that right, let that sink in. I actually really enjoyed it, and realized I was finding a lot of things wrong with perfectly great houses because I didn't want to move out. haha. Todd and I had the downstairs master bedroom, which was pretty spacious, and had a walk in closet, its own bathroom, etc. So it was kind of like living in a studio apartment because we had our own (crowded) space. The only difference was my mom made dinner every night, and if we worked all day and then went to dinner and drinks with friends after work, there was someone built in to automatically to let our dog out when needed. Oh, and Cindy (my young, young high school aged sister) cleaned our room (almost) every weekend. I mean, we had to pay her, but it was pretty deluxe. Why would we ever want to move out? Plus, we all learned a lot about each other. I think living with your parents after you're an adult and have lived on your own is a totally different ball game. But, that's for a different blog post (or maybe at least half a dozen - a lot to say on that topic! ha).

 

All of that to say, that before we even sold our old house, I was itching for a new house for quite a while. I had several strong reasons  I would pester Todd with over and over again trying to get him to agree to sell. One of my (less convincing) arguments was that I wanted a guest room. Of allllllll the things, I wanted that. Bad. I have to admit, I didn't really realize how strange that sounds until I wrote it out just now!  I mean, I've said it a million times to Todd and my family, and I think they only listen to half of what I say, so maybe they never caught that part, but I've been over the top excited to have a guest room. We had two spare rooms in our old house, but one was used for an office/storage room for all the heirloom family furniture I was hoarding to use in our next house, and the other was my crafting/sewing room. There is also the small detail that no one has ever stayed with us. Ever. Like not even they would have stayed with us but didn't because we didn't have a designated room for them. Our families are both from the area and when friends come to visit, they usually stay with their families. 

 

Anyways, now I have a guest room. And it seriously brings me so much joy! Maybe I need to talk to my therapist about this, or have someone analyze this obsession for me, and only tell me why I "needed" this if its good news. ;) We leave tomorrow morning for a long weekend with 2 other couples, and I have had so much fun getting the room set up for our house sitter. Todd said she won't care enough to make how much time and energy I've poured into each detail, but I'm doing this for me. Self love. :) 

 

There are still things I want to do like get a plant or two, wallpaper, paint, get a rug, do some drapes, kind of all the bigger things. But a huge feat was completing the quilt on the bed. That's my pride and joy. Its a classic and traditional pattern, but I shrank down the block size, so there are a TON of tiny pieces, and it took for freaking ever - but now I feel so accomplished looking at it, and love how it turned out. I've been stalking this local florist that makes dried flower wreaths when she has extras left over, and thought they would be perfect above a guest room bed. Yes, I did buy these one at a time as I could get my hands on them over the time we lived with my parents. We didn't have a house of our own, but I had a lot of things and ideas for this new, unknown house. haha. And the antique bench was my Grandma's, and a perfect
setting for my favorite merino wool blanket I knitted years ago. I think it will be a nice landing spot for a guests suitcase as well. The night stand was also my Grandma's, and I love how unique it is. All the curves and notches and details. I've been hanging on to it for several years, and at one point took a bunch of wine out of the garage fridge and set it on that table to make room for all the Thanksgiving food prep, and as the wine warmed up, there was condensation, and it totally sank in deep rings to a really pretty table top. :( I sanded the top, splashed some metallic paint on there, and I like the slightly modern update it gives it. I do understand that it goes against all interior design rules to have the bed pushed up against the window like that, but that's Winston's favorite spot to look out, and since he has logged more hours in that room than anyone else, ever, I feel like he is deserving of getting a comfortable spot to lay and keep an eye on the house, and what happens outside of it, while we're gone. The garage is right below this bedroom and it is beyond adorable to see his head pop up when he hears me drive home and click the garage open.

 

So that's my guest room so far. And the story behind it. It's currently the most styled room in my house, and the first (and only) nails I have put in a wall - meaning we've lived here for maybe 5 months or so now, and literally have nothing on the walls yet. To say it feels sterile would be an understatement. But now that I have a good chunk of my dream guest room out of the way, maybe I can focus on something else now. ;)

 

Signed, ME {lv}

 

So Much Love We Could Burst

This time, I really am keeping this short and sweet.  I just want to express a little love, since it's love day after all.  

Love for my kids, who keep me laughing and pulling my hair out on a regular basis. I had to pick Lucia up at the high school in the middle of the day, and drive her home to poop in her own bathroom because she simple could not do it at the high school.  Seriously, if that's not funny (and extremely inconvenient and annoying), I'm not sure what is.

Love for John who's unflappable peace of mind and goofy humor allow me to keep a good perspective.  25 years together and I'm not sick of him yet, which seems like a good sign.

Love for myself.  Yep, that's right.  Myself.  I can finally say at age 31....ok, I mean 48, that I love myself, and I've done a pretty good job of letting go of the self loathing of my youth.  Self love is so important, it's the foundation for everything we can and will love in the world.  

Love for yoga, which is one of my favorite things to do in the world. I'm so lucky to have found it and I know how cheesy that sounds, but it's also so true.  It's changed my life.

Love for Melange and all the amazing people I've met over all the years (nearly 20 if you you can believe).  I feel so lucky to have had so many amazing women touch my life thru this job.  It blows my mind on a regular basis. 

Love and appreciation for the fact that I have a warm cozy house and healthy food to eat.  I'm thankful for that every single day and know how lucky I am that I don't worry about having the necessities. 

Love for my country, that despite being in crisis, is still the most amazing country in the world (and I say that having a LOT of love for a LOT of countries out there.) 

Love for my friends, without whom no amount of therapy would be able to prop me up.  I feel privileged to have a circle of friends with whom I feel completely comfortable and completely supported and I don't ever take that for granted because it's a gift.

Love for my dog, who never complains about being stuck with a family that ignores him most of the time, doesn't walk him enough, and complains about his large body regularly (he really does need to go on a massive diet though.)

So that's it.  I hope everyone today takes a moment to make their love list, because it's a sweet day to remember all that you love.  It's also a really great day for treating yourself to chocolate, flowers, red wine, and oh yeah, even a little Melange shopping.

oxoxox

Signed, ME {lv}

Telomeres, Waxed Canvas Totes, Health Vibes & BO

I’ve got a lot to say, but I’m going to try and make it short and sweet (which just means it’ll be slightly shorter than a novel.)

First, I went to yoga this morning and I almost died.  Not from the class itself, but from SOMEONE in the class with the most alarming body odor ever.  I could not for the life of me figure out where it was coming from.  It was so strong at first I thought, with genuine alarm, “could that be ME??”  So I spent a good chunk of time analyzing that possibility.  First, would you even smell yourself?  I mean, if it was THAT bad, wouldn’t you notice it….OR would be the opposite, maybe you don’t even notice it the way you don’t notice that your house smells like a dog when you own a dog?  That was my first contemplation.  I had been using John’s deodorant because I ran out weeks ago and have been uncommitted with which direction to go (Megababe again, or something else?)  As my mind is racing I'm considering the fact that maybe men's deodorant doesn't work on women?  This is how crazy I was getting.  Anyway, I confirmed there was no way it was me, but the smell was so overpowering at times I honestly thought I might have to leave.   A rather traumatic, and not very peaceful, yoga class.  My yoga take away was this: make sure you wear deodorant. 

My focus today (and anyone reading this please focus all your health energy on this too) is on my dear friend who is going in for testing today.  She had cancer last year, beat it after a grueling chemo round, and has been clear since but they saw a suspicious spot on her lung in her last scan, and then she has some symptoms that make me entirely too nervous.  I’ve been trying to channel lots of good energy her way all week.  She’s the most amazing person, and I think of her as family (an older and wiser sister….she could probably technically be my mom if she had me at in her teens.)  She’s definitely given me enough guidance to be a mom, she’s one wise woman.   I’m nervous though, it would be devastating to hear anything but good news.  

Because I love to pivot from the serious to the frivolous (and let's face it, life is a weird combo of both), I will do so by saying that my Newton Supply field tote that I recently bought is quickly becoming my favorite thing ever. That waxed canvas gets better as it wears in, it takes on this cool patina as it creases and gets tumbled. It's even on sale--even better.

Lastly, I have been known to go down many-o-rabbit hole regarding health, longevity, eating for health etc. I don’t waste time on Instagram, or facebook, but I do waste a crap-ton of time reading about health stuff online….and also in books (but is that really wasting?)  Right now I’m knee deep in the book, The Telomere Effect.  In a nutshell, telomeres sit at the end of your chromosomes.  They can be short, or long.  You want long ones because that is what keeps you young and healthy. The book tries to sum up all the ways our telomeres gets shortened so that we can stop doing that, and start doing the stuff that keeps them long and keeps us young.  Since I want to live forever, AND would prefer to do it looking wrinkle free and perpetually 40, I like to deep dive into all of this. 

Pessimism is not good for telomeres, but mindfulness and focus IS good.  I won’t bore you with all the details of why those are both true, but unitasking and keeping my mind from wandering like a monkey are attributed with longer telomeres.  I was just saying the other day to my friend when I was talking about the Moment  app (that tracks how much I pick up and use my phone each day), that my one goal out of it was just to try and condense my usage, not necessarily limit it, but condense it so I’m not constantly flitting around from thing to think.   So far I haven’t improved, but I’ve definitely confirmed that I suck and pick up my phone WAY too much.  I haven’t been disciplined enough to try and limit my “check in’s” on the phone to hourly (which is absolutely enough, but my self control and ability to let go of the concept that I need to know everything right this second, is real, real bad.). First step is recognizing your addiction right? I do really want to stop involuntarily multi-tasking.

I'm excited for Valentine's Day.  Prepping my love gifts today, can't wait for our all heart dinner (yes, silly tradition with the kids where dinner involves only heart shaped foods).  

Signed, ME {lv}

Split Seconds & Chick Pea Puff Fingers

I was reminded today in a good way, how things can be one way, and then seconds later completely different. This concept is often driven home in very hard and painful ways.  One minute you are healthy, the next not. One minute a loved one is with you, the next not.  It’s almost a gripping fear when you realize how fragile the current moment really is. You want to hold on to all the good stuff that you have, to protect it from changing.

Likewise, some things can be tough, and feel hopeless, and then the next moment SO much less so.  You want to let go of all the painful, tough stuff, but it feels like it’ll be stuck to you indefinitely.  Your gripping fear is that you will NEVER be able to get rid of it.

What makes me ponder this?….My dear friend, after a divorce, followed by another long term relationship that ended, was feeling discouraged.  The dating world is overwhelming at age 53, and online dating (from all accounts) is not only time consuming, but stressful, and challenges the confidence of even the most secure people.  She had mustered up the courage to do some online dating, and put herself out there despite feeling totally uncomfortable about it.  She alerted all her friends to keep an eye out for a “good guy” because personal introductions always trump trying to connect with random people online. We all kept a look out, but awesome single men?  Seems like a rare bird.

So this has gone on for months now, and she’s incredibly smart and working on all kinds of cool things in her life, but feeling the void of not dating someone special, or not having a companion weighed on her.  She hadn't met one single person that even sparked the tiniest of interest.  Then out of the blue, on a day that was allotted to a volunteer opp for her kids, in the most unlikely of settings, she met someone that she connected with on all levels instantly. So just like that, she’s reminded that indeed, there are men out there that get you excited to actually date.  We’ll have to see if it continues, but right now it seems perfect (he’s smart, funny, successful, and super cute…..a rare bird indeed.) 

So really, the reminder (at least to me) is that there is promise in anything that you are currently discouraged with that feels like it’s stuck to you.  Things can change so quickly.  You are single, until all of a sudden you aren’t.  You don’t have a job, until all of a sudden you find the right one.  You work on losing weight and your fitness and you don’t notice the improvement until one day you look in the mirror and it hits you—you DO look great.

We have to balance the fear of losing what we love, and fear of keeping what we don’t want.  Tricky business for sure.

Also, I had a thought today, about how much time people must waste trying to interpret all the online interactions we have now.  Texts, posts, messages....there's so much room for error.  I was messengering back and forth today with Amanda, and at the same time I was eating these delicious chick pea puffs.  She would be texting, I could see the bubble indicating she was typing, and during that time I'd have to grab more of the chick pea puffs, BUT they were messy, so after grabbing them and munching away, and reading her text, I wanted to respond, but my delays were looooonnnnngggg, because of the chick pea puff seasoning I had to lick off my fingers.  As I was sticking my germ ridden fingers into my mouth I was contemplating the fact that Amanda must have been sitting there waiting for me to reply, and wondering WHY there were such long pauses, and probably even wondering if they meant something.  I know I've done that, where I've texted someone, I can see them start to reply and then nothing...and then I obsess about why they didn't.  Maybe they aren't sure whether to invite me?  Maybe they thought my question was rude?  Maybe they thought my comment is annoying?   Just a general observation, but I'm thinking we all waste more time than we think trying to interpret all this online correspondence. 

Lastly, and totally unrelated, we start our crazy good sale on sale today.  I recently bought a couple of amazing Anni Kuan steals that I love (the Urban shirt I've already worn, why this was on sale is beyond me), plus I bought the Lilla P. striped shorts because it'll be short weather before we know it and even though I can't imagine putting my legs into them now, I'm thinking in about 4 months I'll feel very different.  

Signed, ME {lv}

Little Things Appreciation

With Lauren talking about the message in her yoga class, and the "mindless mundane", I got excited and wanted to share my new mindless and mundane (but exciting!) treat. I have been told (and take it as a total compliment), that I can find joy in the small things. Maybe its a special talent? Or I've subconsciously practiced and perfected making a big deal out of the smallest of things. Good? Bad? Well, it depends on who you ask and when (like Todd, when we're in the middle of an argument), but I do know that I can get very excited about a $5.99 bottle of red blend from Costco being really good, or finally remembering to buy my favorite cheese, spreading it on a ritz, and watching an episode of The Office and feeling on top of the world. It's the little things, right? 

 

Well, as you know, we just got the Child perfume in, and I was instantly obsessed with it. But sometimes I can be fickle with scents, and just kept using the tester to put it on the last few days. I realized I was getting excited to wake up, and go to work to splash that on. So this morning I finally bought it, and I am SO excited to put it on my vanity, and incorporate it into my morning routine. The packaging is adorable - its going to look great on my tray, and it smells amazing. Now I get to not only get to experience the joy of putting it on my vanity, and making it look cute, but I also get the joy of putting it on every morning, and having one small and simple thing that makes me feel super glam. Its also super nice to catch the little scent of the fragrance throughout the day. Its smells so good, and is a reminder of the simple joys.

 

**Also note, I am equally as obsessed with the Rosie Jane Leila Lou perfume oil (well, all of her scents really, but this one smells just like one of the resorts we've stayed at in Hawaii, so it wins just for that). So the Child perfume will have a new home next to that, and maybe we'll have an every other day rotation? Or base it off of mood? We'll have to see how it goes, but I know I'll have fun during the deciding process. ;)

 

So there you have it, I have (successfully?) completed a blog post talking about the mindless and mundane, but talking about the mindless and mundane that has already been talked about!! 

 

I think its super important to really enjoy every moment, of everyday, no matter how mindless and mundane, or even annoying and aggravating. The other day we ran out of dog food, and it was just a super inconvenient time and day to run out - the day was jam packed, and of course the specific dog food he needs is on the other side of town. It was a whole thing. But how awesome is it that I even have a dog that I get to buy food for? And, that I'm able to drive across town to buy his high maintenance food? Crank up a favorite song, and enjoy the moment. I'm grateful that I get to even have a dog - my dream dog none the less! And that I can buy his special food - even when its not on the agenda. Whatever it is, I promise there is a way to find something to be grateful for, and find joy in that moment. I hate doing laundry...but I love my clothes, and that I have a washer and dryer in my house, and that I can take the time to wash a small load of just my light pink items together so the colors don't get tinted, and not have to worry about going to a laundry mat, or not having clothes that I don't love enough to want to care about them! I think that's pretty awesome right there - but that's just me. :)

 

Signed, ME {AT}

Church Yoga & Losing My Car

Ava recently go her license (just about a week ago).  She’s 17, so she’s waited a long time to get it because we forced her to take a 3 month driving course and rack up loads of driving experience.  She’s still only an ok driver (on a good day).  I am not entirely sure I’ve ever driven with her when I haven’t feared for my life at least once.  

So now that she’s officially in possession of a card that says she’s “allowed to drive” (the state licensing system must be fundamentally flawed), she’s basically begging to drive ALL the time.  Ultimately we’ll buy a third family car, but the thought of her having easy access to a lethal weapon right now seems like a very bad idea.  So meanwhile, she’s begging to drive our cars.  My car is the smaller of the two, so it’s probably safer to drive for her and maneuver in the city and into parking spots etc.  She borrowed it today, and I gave her a very specific window of time she could use it, and then she blew thru that car curfew and brought it back an hour late claiming, “I thought it didn’t matter because you had dad’s car.”  All I know is that this is going to be TORTURE from start to finish.  I know it’s a “learning” time and I’m supposed to be patient and all that, but still, it’s horrible and I pretty much dislike every minute. I worry the entire time she has the car on the road, it’s going to take years off my life, AND I’m basically losing my car every other minute which is not a little inconvenient.

On a brighter note, I took John to my church yoga class Sunday morning at 8:30 with my favorite instructor.  It was a really hard class, with some crazy balancing moves that were hard for experience yogis.  Twisted half moon?  There were like 20 of them.  John was totally lost, and every time I happened to notice him he looked like he might topple over, and/or he was doing a very, VERY distant cousin of the actual pose. Still, he liked the class a lot, and that made me happy.  The message today I thought was fitting for me, because I literally was just complaining about my mundane, crazy boring day.  The offering today was two things, to seek things out that make you uncomfortable or challenge you because those are the moments and memories that are most valuable to us.  The other aspect of his sermon was about being present in the mundane aspects of our lives, and how much work it takes to actually do that. It’s a huge challenge, but when you can be present during all those countless “mindless and mundane” things we elevate them. I've got a lot of those mundane moments, so I'm going to really try hard this week to be less cranky about them, and more appreciate of the moments themselves.

What I also know is that we finally got Makana candle restock, and I'm so happy because I've burned thru my secret stash of them (I have to hide them from Ava & Lucia because they like to steal them.)  They all smell so delicious, and I love the smaller size we carry because it's the perfect size for the bathroom, or little places here and there.  It's also a great size (and price) for an easy little gift for your girlfriends (Valentine's Day treat anyone?)

Happy Monday!

Signed, ME {lv}

Surprises, Good & Bad

I went to bed last night late because of some teenage-dick-around-ing with the curfew (the requests to push it 'just another 10 minutes' went on for an hour), plus I had what may have been 1-4 glass of wine (I was at a dinner party and the host was so smooth I barely noticed my glass being filled up again and again, but I feel like I drank a lot and never had an empty glass which is not a good sign.)  So due to the above two things, I was not hopeful for a good night's sleep.  However, it turns out my sleep was just dandy, until 4 a.m. when I was yanked out of a deep, hard sleep, to the sound of our house alarm going off.  I was so tired, I couldn't even think very clearly.  I grabbed my glasses and my phone so I could turn off the system and rushed downstairs (along with John).  In the back of my mind I was already getting agitated that one of the girls had tried to sneak out of the house setting off the alarm, it never occurred to me that it might have been a serial killer breaking in to chop us into pieces. Good thing it wasn't.

What I found downstairs was Ava who, in her 4 a.m. shuffle to the kitchen to get water, managed to knock down a large metal tumbler from the cabinet which made a clanging sound that fooled the alarm system into thinking someone had broken glass.  SURPRISE.  That's hard to recover from, there is no returning to deep sleep after that adrenaline rush.

Then later in the day John walked in from running errands, he plunked a gallon of milk on the table, put a bag of groceries on the bar and then out of the grocery bag he pulled out a new Apple Watch for me. SURPRISE!  Mine broke a couple of weeks ago.  It just quit  working (granted it was OLD), but I really missed it yet stopped short of going to the Apple store and buying a new one (I get sticker shock and find all tech purchases  traumatizing.) 

So here's to surprises, the good kind.  Valentine's Day is coming up, and it's the perfect time to send out thoughtful little surprises to those you love.  I just bought Julie Mollo clutches for the older girls, and a bunch of bath bombs for Gia.  My plan is to make little baskets of fun stuff for each of the kids.  Still need to find little surprises for Romeo though, sadly for me I don't think there is anything at Melange he'd want (that would make my life TOO easy.)  

Signed, ME {lv}