Me in Melange

Binge Watching & Green Overload

It's been awhile since I've really watched any show that was interesting enough to warrant binge watching with my limited time.  But let's face it, most of us have a bit more time on our hands so binge watching something sounds a lot more attractive.  John and I started "Killing Eve" a few nights ago and that's pretty entertaining.  Dark and violent, but entertaining and interesting.  I think the last thing we watched before that was "The Stranger" which was also a good one season show (sort of like a lot of those True Detective type series that carry the storyline just one season).  Curious to see what other people are watching so I can make a list!

Today was a genuinely boring Saturday, which in normal times would feel luxurious and wonderful.   Now it felt a little disconcerting to be honest.  I slept horribly last night and had the worst nightmare ever.  I dreamt that John, after 25 years of marriage (we are actually. about to celebrate our 25th anniversary), announced that he wanted a divorce because he decided he was going to run off with someone.  Anyway, it was horrible because in my dream I was devastated, and so genuinely distraught that I was exhausted when I woke up.

The other thing that broke up my sleep was Ava who walked into our room at 3 a.m. and in a regular, loud and unapologetic voice declared we needed to "take her to the hospital IMMEDIATELY".  Now, if it was anyone else I would have bolted out of bed and been putting my clothes on before they uttered another word, but because it was Ava I stayed in bed and calmly replied, "I doubt it, what's up".  Well, she was convinced that between the hours of 11 p.m. and 3 a.m. her appendix had gone from just fine to infected and about to burst.   No joke.  Her side hurt and according to her it was gravely serious.  We told her she just had gas and to go back to bed and wake us up if she was still in unbelievable pain in two hours.  Ava has John's hypochondriac gene, and she's super, SUPER dramatic.  Any issue, and she's near death...until something distracts her and then she's perfectly fine.  She slept until 11 a.m. and when I saw her in the kitchen I asked her how her side was and her relpy was, "oh fine, the infection went away".   She's crazy.

Besides doing my yoga class (and yes, I'm maintaining my first thing in the morning sun salutations. and media hold off), we went on a walk, read (started a new book "American Dirt"), did a little work, texted people, and looked up recipes for all the greens I have from my organic delivery box.  They  are starting to pile up and I've got to move into double speed to try and find recipes for things like chard, and collard greens (which I just rarely cook).  If you open my. fridge it's like an explosion of veggies.  That's probably why the kids keep complaining that there is no food.  The only bad deal is that these farm veggies wilt and get unhappy looking real fast, so it's a race to find ways to use them while they are looking spry.

Tonight I used a bunch of my very weird looking kale (some variety that I just don't see often), and I sauteed it with onions, garlic, then added white beans, diced tomatoes, Italian seasonings, salt & pepper and it was GOOD.  I feel like I'm doing an unnatural amount of eating right now.  I'm trying to chalk it up to healthy and somehow a little anti-viral protection.  

Signed, ME {lv}

How To Do Nothing

I got my new book in the mail today, How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy, by Jenny Odell.  I saw it referenced in some article, and notably it was on Barack Obama's "favorite books of 2019" list. Has to be good, right?

So far, it's super interesting, and inspiring.  I'm sucked into the attention economy like everyone else, but really it's with my teens that I really see the devil at work.  They will never read this book, too philosophical and too judgmental of the status quo, so it'll be up to me to read it and try to gain some key pointers to pass on in a sly way.

Additionally, full disclosure, I also watched (and enjoyed) two of Gwyneth Paltrow's Netflix series from Goop.  I heard all about psychedelic drugs and psychological break-thrus, and anti-aging diets.  Truth? It sucked me in, and she takes a lot of heat but she seemed pretty cool (I'd be your friend Gwen.)

I'm excited for this week.  #1, it's the last week of January #2, we've got lots of new stuff coming, #3 the kids don't have school on Monday so I'm off lunch duty and driving duty #4 I get my new vitamin supplement on Tuesday which is going to help me live forever per my new favorite scientist David A. Sinclair (Lifspan is the book he wrote).  I might even reverse some of my grey hair.  It's not impossible.  #5, I take Saturday and Sunday off from yoga, but Monday I get to get back on the mat and I'm always ready.

Hope your Monday is amazing!

Signed, ME {lv}

 

ps.  I'm a little obsessed with these clips.  Love how unique they are, and the colors are so pretty!!  It is far better looking than my usual butterfly clip with two claws cracked off.

 

Summer Roadtrip, 7 Days ETD....

Estimated time of departure...7 days!  I've got a packed suitcase and I'm fine tuning the final items that make the cut since space is real limited.  I picked up our travel itinerary books the other day which turned out almost, sorta of, perfect (ignoring the typo that I had to manually white out.)   This is something I try to do every time we do a long trip because it gives the kids the chance to see what's happening play by play without asking (and irritating) me 4 million different times.  I leave room for them to draw something, or journal, or tape mementos in (which sometimes they do, and sometimes they could care less about.)  Each travel day shows the route, how long, the destination, and things we'll do when we are there.  Each day also includes a place at the bottom for them to write something they are grateful for....so they can remember what lucky buggers they are. Like much of what you do out of love and tenderness for your kids, you have no idea if they really give a crap or notice. Still, the book is pretty cool right?  In case you are wondering, I designed it in In Design, and then if you save it to a PDF file you can take it right into Kinkos.

I also am excited that my sister bought me a travel yoga mat, which truthfully I never even considered buying before.  I usually BRING my mat, then I lament the fact that it counts as carryon bag #2 thereby forcing some tough decisions because everything else has to fit in my other bag (computer too).  Plus it's just never easy to carry even with my awesome mat carrier, it lays across my back but usually I tack my travel backpack so you see the problem...one back, to back needing bags.  This one from my sister folds down into a nice pouch and is so light.  Brilliant!!

I picked up one real book for the plane just because I love to actually hold a real book, but the rest of my summer reading will have to be on the Kindle or Ipad due to lack of room.  Can't wait to read  though!

Lastly, I bought my huge king sized Elta MD sun screen so I can try to lather up everyone head to toe.  No more freckles for me.  And by freckles I mean sunspots, I just think freckles sound more youthful.

I am bringing the Velvet Kora pants in dillweed, and I just bought the new Velvet Joy tank in white because it's super fresh with the pants--and I know I'll wear it a ton. I've tried to buy higher neck tanks because of the aforementioned sunspot epidemic I'm having, but I can't resist the Joy tank and its pretty neckline.  I'm  always  layering  3 or  4 necklaces,  and that looks particularly pretty with this neckline!!  I just will have to double up on the sunscreen application.  I seriously love the Kora pant....so relaxed and easy, and they have this slightly rumpled linen look that I just adore and feels so summery to me.  Stay tuned...I plan on boring everyone with my packing play by play this week because I'm SO excited to leave!  Signed, {ME}

November 7th: Happy Birthday to Us + Amazing Eileen Fisher

It's our birthday, and we're officially 18 years old!  We kick off our annual anniversary event today...one day early for our lucky cyber friends!  We are tremendously grateful for each and every one of our customers and friends whose loyalty has supported us all these years.  It's been a long road, with lots of ups and downs, long hours, successes and falls.  I can recall many hours nursing a baby while simultaneously working on the website--literally.  We worked hard, and it was a labor of love for sure.

We've weathered many things as a team, and thru it all we've stayed focused on the very best part of the business--our customers and the amazing people that have touched Melange thru the years, put in hard work, contributed great ideas, and gave us their best.  It is with tremendous gratitude that we look back on our happy years, and we plan on embarking on the next year with renewed appreciation, and renewed creativity so that we can give you all our best!

Just in time for our birthday, which seems so fitting, we received a great, big, and crazy beautiful, Eileen Fisher shipment.  We've carried her line for the entire 18 years we've been in business, and loved every minute of her growth as a designer and company.  Check it out...you will love this group!

Our random thing to love today are audio books.  I forgot how fantastic they are.  I listened to a pod cast the other day which interviewed Light Watkins who is a meditation teacher.  He recently wrote a book, and truthfully this time of year usually my reading dwindles and the time is replace with holiday duties.  As I was about to buy his book which I already knew would have to dutifully sit on my nightstand until January,  I realized that they had an audio version which was perfect.   Driving in the car I pop it on....or dishes in the morning, headphones on, book going.  I'm going to learn to meditate while doing the dishes.  Cool huh?

Thank you all for making Melange such a wonderful journey. 

Signed, ME {lv}

 

 

 

Euro Trip 2018 – Day 22: Monster Kalamata, Vienna Coffee, Real Life Euro Style

It’s a bit tempting to try and paint this day with a prettier brush, but that would hardly be authentic now would it? I don’t want to be like those Facebook’ers who only post the good stuff, so here’s the real day, unedited.  It’s not so pretty.

First off, I was jolted awake at 6:30 a.m. by Gia, informing me she felt “barfy.”  Usually I’m up relatively early, but this morning 6:30 a.m. might as well felt like the middle of the night. I spent the next 3 hours trying to talk Gia off the ledge because she was melting down. She felt nauseated, and eventually threw up, but I don’t think she had any virus, or ate something bad, I really think she just had indigestion from spicy Indian too late in the evening the night before.  She said she couldn’t sleep on and off all night, and woke up at 5:30 with her stomach hurting (so really it was a gift she waited an hour to get me up.)  Thanks to my trusted full scale zombie apocalypse emergency bag, I have anti-nausea medication at the ready, which she took. She was feeling much better by 10 a.m., but it was real touch and go for awhile, and Gia is super dramatic when it comes to pain or any health related issue.  On a pain scale of 1-10, 10 being your arm being ripped off by lions, she was moving toward an 8 at some points this morning.

Eventually we managed to get everyone fed, and out the door.  That was one step (the first one) in the right direction—possibly the only one of the day.  We walked maybe 15 minutes and it was peaceful enough.  We talked about cars mostly, because John had pointed out a mini Mercedes on the street that he thought I should get (only a small car will fit in our new garage) and then we bantered back and forth about how I didn’t want anything mini.  The conversation morphed into Ava talking about what car she wanted when she turns 16 (and that doesn’t mean we are actually getting her a car when she turns 16, but she likes to frame it that way.)  She is 15 ½ now and hasn’t bothered to get her learner’s permit as of yet (for a period of time she kept saying, “why drive when there is Uber everywhere?”  Planning isn’t her strong suit,  and procrastination is her security blanket—thanks ADHD.

Anyway, we are finally just a couple of minutes from the center of Vienna, when I get sick of the conversation between John and her about the laws on when teens candrive with friends, and I say, “It’s really mute because you’ve got a whole year of having your learner’s permit before you get your license anyway, so it’s a ways off.”  Our rule, which I think is totally reasonable, is that you have to practice with a “learner’s permit” for one full year before you get your license. She could have got her permit the day she turned 15, the fact she waited isn’t really my issue.  I just stated the rule, not making a big deal about it or yelling at her in any way.  Doesn’t seem unreasonable to me.

So, that is the back story to the drama.  Ava got ticked off at what I said, and told me that it wasn’t the rule, and she got super mad, and then stormed off saying she was going back to the apartment and wasn’t going to walk with us anymore.  She walked off down the busy avenue, end of discussion. She’s very dramatic that way—thanks again ADHD with impulse control issues.

John’s response to all of this was to basically tell me that I really should haven’t said that because, “No 16 year old wants to hear that and we never really made a hard and fast rule about having a learner’s permit for a year.” He’s crazy, we did make the rule. He’s also crazy for making it about what I said which was reasonable, when the real issue was Ava having a teen tantrum. John’s not big on hard and fast rules of any sort—they box him in too much, nevermind that kids need the stability and predictability of fair, predictable rules.

We civilly argued for the next 3 hours, both verbally and non-verbally. That was a major bummer, and the foundation of the day.  See, real life happens whether you are home or traveling.  Effective co-parenting is the hardest thing in the world in my opinion—way harder than anything else in our marriage.  We don’t agree a lot, and that’s hard. I’m not saying I’m always right, but mostly I am.

We did manage (even in this state of mutual irritation) to explore Naschmarkt which has loads of restaurants, fruit stands, spice stands, butchers and cheese mongers.  Crowded but fun.  We bought some olives, one variety which was this monster size Kalamata tasting olive that Romeo just loved.  We also had a wonderful Vienna coffee afterwards at this cute little café, and we lounged like the locals do—with nothing to do and nowhere in particular to go.  We visited St. Stephen’s cathedral which is right in the center square which is called Stephensplatz.  It’s a huge gothic church, which I personally thought was prettier on the outside than inside (more dramatic I suppose).  It has 23 bells which we heard tolling as we walked out and Romeo declared it, “way too loud.”

Ava met us at the café in the afternoon after spending much of the day solo. She seemed fine, and we didn’t talk about driving anymore.  Around 3:30 p.m. the skies once again opened up and it poured rain, but luckily we were home just in time to avoid being drenched. Ava and Lucia spent the late afternoon obsessed with coloring the blond highlights OUT of their hair (which is hard to stomach given the fact they paid for those highlights not that long ago.)  That’s just like a teen though, obsessed with one thing at one moment, and a totally other thing the next moment.  I can’t keep up.  Instead I gave myself a short yoga class, heavy on the Shavasana.   

Vienna is a beautiful city, but I still haven’t felt its true vibe (or at least haven’t connected with it yet.)  I feel like there are areas we have yet to go that would get me in the Vienna state of mind more…I need to find the little streets with local artists and merchants, loaded with natives, light on the tourists. I do love all the beautiful buildings though, just walking around and seeing the ornate detailing, and the complexity of everything is amazing.  There’s something about it that fills up your senses like nothing else.

In case you are wondering, the answer is no, John and I never really made up by talking out our issues.  He came up to me at the end of the day and tried to smooth it all over with a quick make out session, but that’s hardly an answer for conflicting parenting.  I was too tired to make this point though, so I imagine we’ll just drop the whole thing, at least for now.

I finished my latest book, “Imagine Me Gone” by Adam Haslett. Interesting book. Sad.   Moving on to “Less” by Andrew Greer, it won a Pulitzer and even though the topic didn’t draw me in immediately, the reviews did make it seem amazing.  Will let you know.

Signed, ME {lv}

Euro Trip 2018 -- Day 2: Starvation, Dirty Clothes, Naked Salad & Good Books

Expectations for day #2 of any trip involving a big time difference, is always pretty low for me. Jet lag, generally speaking, KILLS me, and it’s never smooth sailing.  The kids are all over the map, they sometimes can sail thru, and other times they have weird fits as a reaction to the fatigue feeling.  I had a very spotty sleep last night, so there wasn’t much of a catch up from the previous night without any sleep.  Then we had a 5.5 hour drive to Vir, Croatia from Venice.

The food so far….well, let’s just say, if it were to continue at this rate I’d be 23 lbs by the time our trip came to an end.  I’m sure it won’t, I’m just sayin’.   We ate breakfast at the Hilton—a not-so-glorious buffet (because really, I’m not convinced any buffet could be glorious because I’m just generally against them).  I skipped it entirely because other than the apple they brought me back, I don’t know there was much I wanted to (or could) eat. I know, I know…I realize it’s only because I have all these annoying dietary restrictions, but I know what I need to stay feeling good, and it includes no dairy, no wheat, and no refined sugar.  I’m annoyed just typing that out, but what can I do?  My body was breaking down on that cocktail.

In preparation for this trip we were really worried that the car would be super tiny.  Every time we’ve been to Europe we rent the biggest car, and spent the entire time sardined in because their version of big, is half of the size of ours.  We had luggage on the roof last time, no joke.  So this time we decided we’d be smart and we’d each pack only an airplane sized suitcase carry on for each person.  For 7 weeks, that’s seriously NOT much.  PLUS, I had to carry extra crap in my suitcase that didn’t even qualify as “me” stuff.  Example: my end-of-days emergency medicine kit put together by my brother in law (who is a doctor and closet survivalist---well, I exaggerate, but he gets excited like I do about being prepared for anything...apocalypse here we come).  So not only can I treat an allergic reaction with an Epi pen, I am fully equipped to deal with everything from a bladder infection to malaria.  No joke.  I'm just waiting for the day I can give an emergency tracheotomy because I'm ready for that too. That took up a good size square of my limited space.  So the upshot of that is that I have VERY little clothing.  Like nothing.  Three pairs of pants, two shorts, two long sleeves…..you get the idea.   The irony?  John goes to pick up the car and it’s HUGE….like small bus size.  I could have taken a MUCH bigger suitcase, dang.  There’s a good chance we won’t be able to fit down half the narrow streets in Eastern Europe, that could be an issue.

So our drive was uneventful, and most of us slept thru chunks of it, sprawled out in our spacious ride.  We breezed thru Slovenia, into Croatia, and I caught some of the gorgeous countryside, but the rest of the time I crashed.  The northern most tip of Croatia looked a lot like Oregon….pine trees and green mountains.   We’re on a tiny island called Vir right now, which has the beautiful waters you’d expect, but so far the beaches are nothing to get too excited about (rocky and short). We definitely have to search out the good ones.

We ate dinner along the ocean, and I ordered a green salad thinking ok, that’s something I can eat plus it’s healthy and fresh.  Well, it was a completely naked salad.  No joke. Just lettuce, N-O-T-H-I-N-G else. They took the green part really literally and apparently couldn’t find ANY other green veggies.   Ava asked if I had an eating disorder.  I had about a pound of dry salami when I got home because I might not eat gluten, but I definitely eat salami (nitrates and all).

Our little house is darling, just the perfect size for us.  The only thing lacking—which is actually a BIG thing—is a washer and dryer. There was only one request I had for every home we stayed at, and that was to have a washer and dryer.   We’ve already got at least one load of dirty clothes and it’s only been 2 days.  John was in charge of this particular rental (he was the big Croatia enthusiast)….so I’m blaming him.  My irritation will grow with each day of dirty laundry.

Tomorrow I’m going to head into Zadar and try to scope out a yoga studio to take a class.  The weather might be a little overcast, so our plan is to explore Zadar a bit instead of going to the beach since it might rain anyway. I’m going to search for decent food too….decent food and yoga, is that too much to ask people??

Lastly, I’m super excited about my new book….The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro.  Wasn’t necessarily moved by the description of the book itself, but it won a Nobel Prize and had a long list of people singing it’s praises so I bought it and it’s pulling me in quick...it's going to be great!!  

Signed, ME {lv}

October Action

Whooo - sorry about the delay in posting, this last week has been a whirlwind, a dust devil, a veritable water-spout of activity and developments. I have hardly had a moment to rest let alone write. But now - it's 3:41 am on a Monday morning which might seem like the worst time of day ever to some - perhaps the actual worst time of day of the whole week, lol - but to me, it is the perfect time. 

Menopausal insomnia isn't all bad. A whole heck of a lot of it is, but some it it isn't. I've always been a morning person - albeit not a 1:30 am kind of morning person - so having to make this bizarre shift isn't quite as hard for me as it might be for others. I love the quiet. I thrive in it. And living on one of the busiest streets in SE Portland means it is almost never quiet. So 1:30 am - well, it isn't always quiet either. There are no less than four bars right down the street, so the action is pretty constant round the clock, and there is a lovely little 2:30 am rush hour every night of the week, but right now at 3:42 am on a Monday morning it is quiet, and now is when I can find the mental and emotional space necessary to write.

So - October has been a dream month for me. You all have probably followed me a bit on this blog - read about my serious back issues and debilitation - my hot flashes and migraines - and my determination to survive it, because I'm telling you this menopause thing can make you think and feel like you won't. Well - this week I finally have some truly good news - on 2 fronts. 

First, and by far the most glamorous is - my novel Bridge of the Gods has won a Silver Moonbeam Award for Children's Fiction in the Pre-Teen Fantasy category! OMG! So unexpected, so beyond my wildest, I entered on a hope and a prayer and I could hardly believe it when I was told. It's still sinking in, and every time I think of it I just want to cry with happiness. It must be like what it feels to win an Oscar or something, I am just totally shocked and deeply thrilled. It's a life-long dream since I was a little girl reading middle grade novels to write one myself, and have it be well-received. That little girl is jumping for joy!

The other amazing news - and knock on wood here because it's still early days but I have to share because I am so excited - my back feels good. Not perfect, but goooood. My hips don't hurt, my legs don't hurt, my feet don't hurt. I'm limping less, I have backed of the medication a little, my energy is up, my mood is up, I'm able to do more - it's incredible. I don't know exactly what is responsible but I have a suspicion. It could very well be a new supplement I started taking only four days ago. It's an IODINE supplement called Detoxidine. 

Could this be what I've been lacking all these years? Could it be as simple as an iodine deficiency? It kind of makes sense. As a vegan who doesn't eat bread or much salt, where would I get it from? It is found in animal products and bread, and iodized salt.

For the past 13 years I have suffered enormously from back pain. I have had four or five incidents where my sacro illiac joint spazmed and sprained, resulting in total debilitation for months and years. Bed-ridden, unable to move, in the worst pain of my life including childbirth with no anesthetic, I was also deeply depressed. I can't tell you the fire I have walked through because of this condiiton, it has totally changed my adult life from one of total action (I ran five miles a day, I played in a band, I walked the dog all over town every day, I worked full time, I made art, I gardened) to one of nothing. Of being in bed almost 24 hours a day, walking short distances with a cane, not being able to sit at all - not being able to drive anywhere or travel anywhere at all - I couldn't even draw because I would have to do it lying down and the pad was too heavy to hold. I still can't lift anything heavier than my wallet. It's a life-altering situation, and worse - nobody knows why, or what to do.

Of course I've tried everything. I've desperately sought the answer for 13 years from a myriad of doctors, specialists, chiropractors, naturopaths, acupuncturists, rolfers and shiatsu masters. I've had injections, 3 MRI's (totally clean, all of them) x-rays, all the medication, all the ice packs, all the PT, all the orthotics, the back belts, everything. No improvement, if anything it just gets worse.

As a vegan for so long I found out a few years ago about how important vitamin B-12 is, and how I hadn't been getting that for a decade either, as it's found in animal products. So I started taking that, and noticed a small improvement. I also tried some bio-identical hormones thinking the joint pain might be menopause-related, but that didn't work. A week or so ago I again googled "severe joint pain" and found a link to a discussion about iodine deficiency and how it can cause joint pain, and gout, and other symptoms like low energy, poor eyesight, thinning hair, dry skin, weight gain, and other things - also symptoms associated with menopause, and which I have. The reviews were astounding. Rave reviews from all kinds of people in their 50's and 60's who have seen tremendous improvements in their health almost immediately upon taking Detoxidine. I ordered it. 

I think it's working. No joke. I felt it the second it hit my tongue. Not the improvement, but the buzz of the iodine immediately hit me. They say you should start with two drops, three at most to see how you feel. Evidently the effect is like drinking a lot of coffee - and they are right. I am taking three drops in the morning and I am buzzed for a long time after. You can work your dose up - I think the highest dose people take is ten drops a day - and people say their hair grows thicker, their eyesight improves, their libido increases, the "weight melts off", energy soaring, pain gone, mobility improved - and I actually think they may be on to something! I feel amazing! Yesterday I was just flying! I didn't take any heavy medication, I was able to go shopping and lay down with no pain, only the usual discomfort which was reduced. I feel a new stability. Oh - and yesterday I was able to play my bass guitar! I couldn't stand holding it for long, but I rested part of it on the bed and I played it for a long time! First time in years. 

So - I woke up this morning feeling good too, not perfect because yesterday was an active day and like I said I've backed off the meds - so today should probably be a pretty restful day - but I will continue taking this wonderful stuff, and report back. I have a good feeling - a very good feeling - literally! It's been so long since I've felt "good" - at best it has been "not terrible", but never good. I like good.

So - this October the gratitude and joy is rushing through me like a river. You never know what you've got till it's gone, that is just so true. Today - on a Monday - take a moment to enjoy the health of your body if you have it. Do something that makes it feel deliciously good, and enjoy the absence of pain and presence of pleasure. I truly believe it's part of why we're here on this planet. 

xoxoxoxo Diane 

 

 

A Wondrous Day

Wow, it happened. My book is published. The pre-orders are in the air as we speak, winging their way to all you dear folks who placed them. Thank you all so much for being so excited along with me and so supportive! I hope with all my heart that you enjoy the story, and that all of the kids in your lives do, too. On that note - if you do enjoy it, please take a minute to leave a review wherever you can - on Amazon, Goodreads, Powells.com, Barnes and Noble - anywhere and everywhere! They make a huge difference for people who don't know me. ;)

Yesterday was a culmination of five years of hard work. Four years spent writing the original manuscript and one year spent editing it. To be honest I still don't feel done, I'm still afraid something horribly awkward or silly will jump off the page at me. But I have to stop somewhere, I fear I could go on editing it forever until it was whittled down to nothing, and I would have to start over.

I learned so much about writing during this process, and sometimes it was rough going. Humiliating even, sometimes - but art is like that, isn't it? Everyone who has ever tried some sort of art - drawing, painting, writing, dancing, acting - the early days aren't pretty. And it can choke you with self-criticism when you see how much you have to learn! But you can't get away from it - even the geniuses of the world had to start somewhere and practice, they also had to be humiliated by bad work, get over it and grow. So it's part of my "homework" - part of The Work -  failing, and trying again. And maybe failing again, but examining why, and fixing it. All-told I must have written Bridge of the Gods three times because I kept finding that by the time I got to the end, I had learned so much that the beginning needed more work to catch up! And when does that cycle end, I ask you? In case the answer is "never", I'm glad I cut the cord at some point, and said "Done. 

My inbox of late has been an unprecedented cornucopia of delightful surprises. I have now decided that everyone should have a publicist, whether they have a book to sell or not. My amazing team at Booksparks - Morgan Rath and Crystal lee Patriarche - do it all. Wizards at promotion and  marketing they send out press packs for my book, and pitch it to different literary websites around the nation. In the last two weeks I have woken up and checked my messages only to find that Bridge of the Gods is the first on BuzzFeed's "Five Reads To Beat The Back To School Blues"!!! I'm beyond thrilled!!!
The reviewer wrote:

"In the wake of tragedy, 12-year-old Chloe is abducted and sold to a group of vagabonds deep in the forest. Now, to survive, Chloe must learn just how much her furry friends know about the woods. Enchanting and incredibly well-written, Bridge of the Gods offers a fun and unique take on the fantasy genre." -- BuzzFeed 

More treats - The Culturalist has Bridge of the Gods listed in their "Top Ten Middle Grade Novels Hitting the Shelves in August" feature, and my peeps let me know that I had two essays appearing in separate places - My "Rock and Roll Introvert" piece on Germ Magazine, and the "Little Housetruck in the Woods" piece I wrote for Hypable. What a rush to see your work in a national format - I was in tears yesterday with gratitude and happiness. I had no idea this kind of thing would happen when I wrote the book - I didn't know how it would be received, and I was (and still am) nervous. These kinds of reviews and support for my writing are gifts in themselves, and made my Publication Day a truly special day, one for my personal books. 

It was a great day - but also a very hard day, given what is happening in the world, just outside my door. It's hard to celebrate anything right now with the hate and violence teeming in the streets.

 

  But of course we must celebrate, we must be creative, we must share our art, our writing, our song, our voices. Art and culture is the resistance, communication is the tool, and love is our weapon. 

The final touch? Beautiful flowers from the team at Booksparks. The perfect capper to a very big, very emotional and ultimately a very fulfilling day.

Peace and love to all of you!
xoxo 

Enter to Win!!!

Only 7 weeks until publication! From August 15th my novel Bridge of the Gods will be available in big bookstores around the country, and many smaller, more independent ones, as well as being for sale on amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com, and available as an e-book!

But you don't have to buy it, you can win it! Right now we're having a pre-publication giveaway where you an enter for a chance to win one of ten signed copies! Plus a really cool bookmark! Just follow this link to Goodreads and click to enter your name. So fun!!!

Other big book news this week is my first official review! I am so relieved, I had no idea what a critic might say and I was braced for some hard news. But I didn't get it! I got a very good review from Kirkus - this is what they said. The short version: 

“This middle-grade debut finds an audacious child — with a knack for bonding with animals — thrown into peril by her scheming uncle. In this appealing novel, Rios writes with an abiding love of nature, illustrating in scene after scene the power people may draw from it…An engaging adventure that shows the strength that can be discovered amid tragedy.”

— Kirkus Reviews

 

 

And here is the long version - it's a great synopsis of the book to wet your whistle!

 

"This middle-grade debut finds an audacious child—with a knack for bonding with animals—thrown into peril by her scheming uncle.

In 1908, 12-year-old Clothilde is the only child of Lord and Lady Ashton, new residents of Fairfax, Oregon. Preferring the name Chloe, the precocious girl loves to explore the nearby wilds while her parents run the Mercantile, an imported fabric shop. Life feels idyllic, as Chloe realizes that the house’s staff and woodland creatures alike adore her. Then one day, tragedy strikes her parents, leaving her family shattered. Chloe retreats into a world of literature and befriends a remarkably intelligent white rat whom she names Shakespeare. Further change comes in the form of Uncle Blake Underwood, who arrives to help maintain the Mercantile. But Blake is the shiftiest of characters and quickly compromises the entire estate. He abducts Chloe, bringing her by horse-drawn carriage among a band of vagabonds, intending to sell her. Not without her own natural gifts, Chloe comes to know and speak with Greybelle, her uncle’s horse. The mare describes her own tragic past as well as an ancient battle between the mountains themselves that left the landscape in ruins. If the girl is to escape, she must learn the extent of her own abilities, and just how deep the land’s magic runs. In this appealing novel, Rios writes with an abiding love of nature, illustrating in scene after scene the power people may draw from it. When Chloe displays wonder that animals understand her, Greybelle says, “The respect you show to all beings—human, animal, or plant—is also your ‘voice,’ and they all hear it loud and clear.” As her fortunes wax and wane, Chloe meets other charismatic individuals like the Artist and Mrs. Goodweather. Rios keeps the danger real by using only low-key magic—like enchanted paintings and pies—that feels “so familiar and so natural that it was almost not like magic at all.” The mystery surrounding a suspiciously cloistered hospital and its reckless ambulance drivers should draw readers to the sequel.

An engaging adventure that shows the strength that can be discovered amid tragedy." -- Kirkus Reviews

One other recommendation was this adorable feature on the Book Sparks blog - in case you were wondering what cake to pair with Bridge of the Gods - it's Rustic Vanilla! Which I happen to looove!

Perhaps some good summer reading, eh? Don't forget to enter to win a free, signed copy!!!

xoxoxo Diane 

 

My Imaginary Friends: Or, How L. Frank Baum and Laura Ingalls Wilder Saved My Life

It is not uncommon for a child to have an imaginary friend or playmate during those formative years when creativity is at the forefront of our brains. We instinctively seek understanding and companionship from our real-life circle of friends and family, and sometimes what we get back - is just not enough. It's nobody's fault - after all, who can compete with an imaginary, practically-perfect friend? They don't argue. They don't betray you. They don't compete with you, they don't even annoy you! Imaginary friends make the wittiest conversation, or if you prefer, they are perfectly quiet and agreeable. Of course they can't actually skip rope with you, throw you a ball, or give you a high-five or anything like that - and you can't actually talk to them - at least not out loud around other people...so...they do have their limitations. But in a pinch, or in a particularly creative phase, they can be very satisfying friends indeed.

I had my own imaginary friends, who were loyal and true, and helped me through an extremely challenging time in my young life. And, just like my character Chloe Ashton in Bridge of the Gods I found friendship when I was suddenly swept away from my own idyllic childhood home, and needed it most. 

Like Chloe, I was an only child. My earliest memories are of a sun-splashed 1970's Santa Monica, California, in a little bungalow my great-great grandfather built on 2nd street. I woke up every morning to soft ocean breezes, and I remember the most beautiful light - so soft and white - after the morning haze burned off.  I was always in shorts, having fun with my mom and her friends who, being so young were - in my mind - the coolest people in the world. It was a groovy time on 2nd street in 70's Santa Monica - free love was in the air, and the great music of that time played loudly from our stereo, mixing in my head with the intoxicating scent of the honeysuckle, and eucalyptus, and soft ocean breezes - and made me want to live there forever.

However, as in Chloe's own story, that life was not to last.

In Bridge of the Gods Chloe is taken from her happy childhood home by her evil Uncle Blake, and sold to the vagabonds. In my case my mother (sorry mom) is the one who bundled me into the VW van, and hit the road, looking for other friendly vagabonds, ie: hippies. We found them, decided to travel with them, and before long mom met my step dad who had built a beautiful house truck complete with two lofts, stained glass window and a pot-bellied stove. We moved in.

For the next three years we traveled the United States in the house truck, and like Chloe I did not go to a regular school. Poor Chloe has tight-lipped old Mr. Codnash as her tutor, but lucky me - my mom was my teacher, using lessons sent from a correspondence school in Boston. They would send the work ahead to whatever town we visited next, and we would send the completed assignments and tests back the same way. I took the entire third grade and most of the fourth this way, and though the lessons only took a few hours a day, I found I was far ahead of my class when I finally returned to regular school. I loved having my mother as my teacher, and my classroom the forest.

Because I was alone most of the time, I spent hours and hours exploring the woods and rivers around wherever we camped - just like Chloe does. And like her, I loved the woods. As a child I loved their fresh, clean smells and interesting sounds, their wet, dripping pines, burbling creeks and slippery green moss-covered rocks - and all of the animals that constantly delighted me. As Chloe does, I enjoyed being alone in the woods and didn't miss the company of other children. Once in a while we would caravan with other house trucks and house buses  - and for a little while I had human friends to play with, before we inevitably turned off towards the next city or fair destination.

While I lived in the house truck I read everything I could get my hands on. This was before computers, of course, before cordless phones of any kind, and we were mostly out of touch with the "real world". When I wasn't exploring, or when we were travelling, I spent my time reading. And reading. I could not read enough!

A true awakening for me occurred when I discovered my step-father's collection of Oz books. I had no idea there were any other Oz books other than the "Wizard of Oz". But there are many!!! And each more wonderful than the last. L. Frank Baum wrote 14 books in all, and after his death author Ruth Plumly Thompson took up the mantle and wrote many more. The entire Oz canon is a treasure trove of imagination and art.

Even better - my step-father's collection was of very old editions - mostly second and third editions, from around 1920 - 1940, so their covers were really special, the old bindings and soft old papers inside added a whole other level of magic to the stories. I was only eight years old, but I read those books, and re-read them. I must have read them each five times by the time we moved out of the house truck and into a "real" house. I loved them dearly - they were filled with many gallant characters and loyal friends that I wished were real. 

 Dorothy Gale of Oz was certainly my hero, and imaginary friend. After all, she and I had a lot in common - she was always finding herself in new, unknown places that were sometimes nice and sometimes not nice at all. But she never lost her cool! She was completely unflappable, no matter how insane the situation. Dorothy's sheer pluck in the face of the crazy Nome King, or frightening Hottentots, the hammer-swinging giant, or Momsi the witch - helped me face my own challenges as a nomadic hippy kid in 1970's America, with more grace. She really did! And - the illustrations in the Oz books by J.R. Niel were a whole different kind of friend - almost like an art therapy - they are that beautiful. His drawings took me far, FAR away to a land I wanted so badly to live in. A land of art-nouveau-inspired design, of girl rulers with roses in their coronets, lions walking by their sides, and powerful sorceresses like Glinda who wore long velvet gowns and diamond-incrusted snoods!!!

My other imaginary friend was Laura Ingalls Wilder. And she felt even more real than Dorothy because she WAS real. Her stories were true - just like mine were - and her stories were a lot like mine!!! She traveled in a covered wagon, I in a house truck. She drew water from the creek and so did I. She froze in the winter and burned in the summer, and so did I. Her parents made things by hand, as mine did. I felt like I was Laura sometimes - driving across the United States in a covered wagon or a hippie house truck, both of us on an adventure not of our own making. I remember really wishing my step dad played the fiddle!!! 

Chloe's story is for the most part,  my own story. She is a little older than I was when I went on my journey into the unknown and away from everything I held dear. But hers is the spirit I felt within me even then, and it is a spirit I still feel now. I want so much to share this concept with other children facing uncertain and sometimes frightening circumstances. I want them to know that it is possible to be brave, even when you're the most scared you've ever been, and that you can find friends anywhere, you just have to look for them.

I never lost my imaginary friends Dorothy and Laura. Even though I eventually settled in a regular town and lived in a regular house and went to a regular school, I still looked to them for inspiration and encouragement when times were tough. And of course I still have the books, carefully preserved and displayed on my book shelves, and I still read and re-read both series every few years - the stories resonate on many levels, at every stage of life, so it never feels like the same book twice.

Turns out in some cases imaginary friends can be life-long teachers. I will forever be grateful for the support I found in Dorothy Gale and Laura Ingalls. And if Chloe Ashton can inspire any person, young or old, to persevere in the face of hardship, to celebrate friendship both human, animal, and of the natural world - then I am completely gratified.

xoxoxo

Throw Your Heart Over

The year is 1981, I'm 15 years old and still completely crazy for horses. I don't know it at the time, but it's the last year of my long childhood. Always a late bloomer, it will be another 9 months before I discover punk rock and boys, and abandon my childhood dreams of being on the United States Equestrian Team.

 

At this very moment I'm almost living the dream - I'm riding a golden Tennessee Walker horse named Magic over 3' foot jumps, in a small arena tucked away in the Eugene foothills. The place is Scarborough Fair Acres, and I'm a student there - under the watchful (and often baleful) eye of my riding teacher, known to everyone simply as "Teach". 

 I'm desperate to do well, and I work hard. This is my passion - and to me it's everything. It's extremely difficult, but it's not work in my opinion, it's pure pleasure. When I was very small I was afraid of horses, mostly because my mom and I lived for a time in a tipi right in the middle of a huge horse pasture, and they would thunder around our fragile, cloth tent in the early dawn, free and wild, and I was so small - and they so big - I was terrified of being trampled by them. But once I added a couple of years and a few inches to my self, I became obsessed with them. I saw horses as the ultimate in grace, beauty, and exciting adventures. Also, they represented a lifestyle that was the complete opposite of my own - the dream life of a prosperous stable, shining saddles and bridles, creamy riding jodhpurs and brilliant scarlet jackets, neat hairdos and gold pins at your throat. At eight years old, that seemed like paradise on earth to me.

Instead, I spent a good part of my childhood with my eyes peeled for horses. Being a hippie kid that lived in a traveling house truck meant I found horses all over the place. You never knew what would be living next to the campground or friend's house your parents chose to stay at for the night, week, or month. Sometimes it was just people living there, or sometimes it was a huge forest with magical creeks and trails to explore. Sometimes it was the McKenzie River, ice-cold and fast, and dangerous, but with most musical sound. Sometimes it was goats, rabbits in hutches, or dogs. And sometimes it was horses.  

I don't know what warrior spirit possessed me in those early days. I was very young - eight years old, maybe ten at the end of that period - and small. I didn't hit my growth spurt for another two years, and being a hippie kid I was also skinny. But somehow I found the courage and strength and downright foolishness to go look for, find, and often even RIDE the horses in our vicinity. Wherever that might be.

One memorable time we were parked in the woods, I have no idea what state - along the river, and I went looking for horses as usual. Not far away I found some. Half a dozen two or three year old horses - I was already an expert on age, breed, and conformation - were penned in a corral, and there was no house in sight. It was a corral in the middle of the woods, with a barn, but no people, anywhere. I spent time with the horses, I made friends with them, fed them clover I picked, and then I looked around for something to make a bridle with. In my mind, I was already riding them. There didn't seem to be any reason why I couldn't - it didn't matter to me if they were broken to ride or not, surely they wouldn't hurt me if I was kind, and careful.

 

I found some baling twine half-buried in the dirt. (I was always finding bits of harness and halters and old curry combs in the dirt!) I pulled it out, and tied it together fashioning a rudimentary hack-a-more, or a bridle without a bit. I slipped it over the head of the friendliest horse, and led him around for a while. He did what I wanted, and was only a little bit nervous. Eventually I led him over to the fence, and slipped on his back, bareback of course. He danced around a bit, but didn't throw me and I was able to - rather awkwardly I admit - guide him around the corral with my hand-made bridle. It was exhilarating. I never made him do anything more than walk. But he was very young and untrained, and I'm lucky he didn't throw me, all alone in the woods. It was a very dangerous situation, but I was oblivious to anything but the joy of it. After a little while I slipped off, removed the baling twine, and let him go. My heart was pounding with happiness and adventure, and I sat on the grass for awhile, watching the horses snuffle under the fence for more clover. Then I thanked them - and went back to the campground, and my parents.  

That was the past. In 1981 I was riding in earnest. I wanted to be on the United States Equestrian Team. Scarborough Fair Acres was a unique academy for such a rural place as the Eugene foothills, and I felt lucky to go there. Teach had come from somewhere in California, and had been classically trained as a rider in the Podaphski riding tradition. Podaphski is the guy who trained the Vienna Lipizzaner Stallions, and he means business. Riding, according to him, is invisible. No movements can be seen. Commands are given to the horse solely through weight cues and hidden leg and hand cues - and let me tell you, in order to accomplish this you have to TRAIN your a** off. It's like the Olympics, learning this method, and Teach was a formidable coach. I trained there for three years, and was very successful. I jumped five foot fences, rode a saddle bred mare at a racking trot in full gear, and was kind of one of the darlings of the stable, for a little while. It was hard, so hard - but I loved it.

Teach was a character - intimidating, with a big voice, and not afraid to insult you if you weren't doing your best. I always did my best - I hated it when she was disappointed in me - and I lived for her praise. She had a LOT of stories - one of them I'll never forget - she took me into her bedroom once to show me a jewelry box that when opened, held an amazing emerald necklace and matching earrings. She told me that Errol Flynn had given her those when they dated. When she was 16 years old. I believed her - you just can't make that stuff up.

There was another, and much more important, thing Teach said to me that I'll never forget. When she was down in the arena with me - I'm on horseback, she's standing at my stirrup - she looks up at me says, "Diane - when you're riding at the jump, don't look down. Don't even look at the jump - look beyond it. Throw your heart over. If you throw your heart over first, your horse will always follow."

She was totally right. Magic and I took every fence in perfect stride when I remembered that advice. It's something about already having done it in your mind, and your body just finishing up the job. Something about committing - about loving something enough to do it without hesitation, even though it's scary. And, it's about a kind of surrender - that leads to victory.

That's pretty good advice, even beyond the arena. And it's something I've instinctively known since those childhood days of riding horses in the woods.

Right now it's about my book. We've just finished the very final edits - and it has been an emotional roller coaster. You think you've done your best, you've combed through the manuscript so many times, with other editors even - and you still find errors, or clunky passages, or repeated words. So frustrating! I get choked up when this happens - it's like a black fear that I'm just totally incompetent and the book is crap, and it just rises up in my throat and chokes me - it's really the worst. Then I have to breathe and council myself - calm down, calm down, it's not the whole book, it's just that particular word, or passage, and you can still fix it, so breathe. Fix it.

I have to let it go. I am committed - I've done the work, it's all turned in, the pages are designed - and it's going to the printers for the first "galleys" or "Advanced Readers Copies". So now - it's time to look beyond the jump. I have thrown my heart over, just like I did when I rode those horses in the woods, and amazingly, tellingly - there is a horse on the cover rearing on its hind legs as if it's already soaring.

New York, New York!

Finally! After five years I am finally going back to New York City!!!!

One of the first lines of my blog from that visit was "....why would anyone live anywhere else?" I was so excited the last time I was there that I started combing Brooklyn real estate sites and wondering what school I could send Cora to. But alas, that particular dream was not to be. However...a whole new one is coming true! 

I am appearing at the She Writes Press author table at the Book Expo of America with my all-ages fantasy novel Bridge of the Gods! I can't tell you how thrilled I am about this, it's the kind of trip that combines just about all of my favorite things in life - travel, traveling with Greg, New York City, writing, my dearest oldest friends who live there and who I get to see in their natural element, and supporting a current favorite creative project! All at the same time?! Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!!!  

I just got the first marketing images for the book, and in my opinion they are truly something special. Sparkpoint Studio put together the most beautiful memes for social media - and with them comes the first world-building images for the book. Along with the amazing cover these designs really speak for my story - using the awesome blurbs my dear friends wrote for me. Thank you dear friends!!!! xoxoxo , 

 

This weekend was a huge push for a major deadline for the book - I'm reading through it yet again, but with the final design - so the pages look like they will in the book - and they are sooooo lovely! I am overwhelmed with gratitude at how She Writes just gets my vision - and makes it even better. I love the type font they used, the page design, the scripted over-sized letters at the beginning of each chapter - the little arched leaves over the chapter head - it's all so elegant and beautiful it makes me want to cry. I know I'm sappy, but gosh, it's just that sweet and fulfilling to see! So grateful, and I can't wait to share the finished product with you all! 

Exciting times ahead - stay tuned for a daily blog post while I'm in New York, I'm sure I'll be so thrilled by every single thing I see that I'll be posting constantly. Meanwhile - we have six weeks in which to polish and prepare - and I'd better go dive back in!

Happy Monday everyone! xoxoxo Diane 

If you're intrigued by the book, or know a child or a fantasy-lover, horse-lover, animal-lover, or Oregon-enthusiast, and would like to pre-order a copy you can find it here on Amazon: Bridge of the Gods by Diane Rios

 

The Creative Introvert: Rock Shows, Book Launches, and Ferdinand the Bull

I'm one of those people who can be very sociable, who loves to chat, loves to laugh, tell jokes, tell stories, and hang out (especially one-on-one), but then after all that fun has to literally RUN back to their house, throw on pj's, and hug the dog for three days to recover.

For decades I thought I was just a freak who had some kind of social disability. I did my very best to hide it - I don't think many people who knew me in my 20's and 30's would say I was an introvert. I played in a band for years and years, stayed up WAY past my preferred bed time of 9 pm, I was spontaneous, game for anything (while secretly loathing it), I was devil-may-care, a gad-about-town (now I sound like I'm about 100 years old), but deep down - even at 25 - I really just wanted to put on cozy slippers and sit by the fire. Kind of  like Ferdinand the bull, sitting under his tree, smelling the flowers while the other bulls ran around and fought and were cool and tough.

But I'm also compelled to make things, and to share them. And a girl does need some adventures! So I forced myself out of my shell in my youth and had adventures galore. It was a blast, it was glorious, it was life-changing. It was also hard, uncomfortable, and sometimes really scary, but I did it. I lived in France for a year, I graduated college, and I played in Oswald Five-0, travelling all over the country playing shows of every kind, and recording.

And then I had a child, and my life changed - for a loooong time. And I liked it! A lot! It gave me "permission" to do the things I'd wanted to do all along - be cozy, go to bed early, eat healthy food, write, and read a lot.

And then that life got old, and so did my child, so again I was compelled to create things to share. Back to the extrovert. Writing and playing music with The Valiant Arms in Portland was an amazing way to create and share, and it was challenging because once again I had to perform, stay up late, move heavy things and get out of my comfort zone. But it was so fun and so rewarding that I did it, and loved it.

Then, I had to stop playing music in order to write my book. Introvert time again! There are only so many hours in a day, especially for parents, and one creative endeavor at a time was all I could manage. Four years later, the book is written, the child has moved out, I'm 50 years old, and finally at an age where I get to openly act how I feel. No more hiding my old lady ways! I'm officially an old lady now! :)

However, now I'm facing a whole new challenge. Having written a book, I need to promote it. These days being an author often means being a kind of performer - public speaking is a big part of the author platform, and if I'm being honest, it freaks me right out! Writing to me is such a solitary act, as is reading - it's where you have time to think, to write, to edit, to polish - and then to quietly release or publish or put out there...and in my perfect world, to then sit back and enjoy whatever comes to you. But that isn't how it works I'm noticing. You gotta' get out there, you have to have readings, signings, launches. You have to be in book clubs, literary societies, writing groups. You have to get reviews, blurbs, submit for awards, sit at booths, and be on panels. YIKES!!!!!

This seems to me harder than being in a band. Although the hours are better and you don't have heavy stuff to carry, and people aren't as drunk, you don't have HIGHLY AMPLIFIED MUSIC to hide behind! It's all about you - you speak. You tell stories, you delight a crowd. No guitars, no drums, no squealing distortion pedals - just talking. All alone. Ick! Is that really fun?

I will say this - thank you to the World Forestry Center. Why? Because part of my job when I worked there was to speak to groups who came in, about the museum. At first it was terrifying, then it was fine, then it was fun! I felt like a real adult up there, telling big groups of kids and teachers about the exhibits and forests in general. It gave me that feeling of confidence in front of a crowd - you just need to know what you're going to say, and maybe to have said it enough times to feel comfortable saying it.

Bridge of the Gods comes out in August. I'm five months away from publication and I start working with my publicist next month. I'm sure once I have some things actually planned and on the books I will feel better, even really excited - but right now I'm just waiting, imagining the worst-case scenarios like in bad dreams where you show up to your book launch naked, with nothing to say. Please dear god don't let that happen. At least I can probably count on not being naked. I may have nothing to say, but I promise not to be naked!

I don't know exactly where my book "launch" party will be held yet - my dream would be at Powell's, downtown where I used to work. The Rose Room (the children's room)  is where so much of my inspiration for the book came. Specifically aisle 509 Horse Stories, aisle 510 Children's Classics, the Newberry Section, and of course aisle 507 - Middle Reader - "B"- for "Baum"(all things Oz). Being able to launch my own middle reader - set in Oregon - in the Rose Room would really be a dream come true. We'll see if that can happen, I do not know. 

If it does, please come and help me face my fears with your friendly faces. It would be a glorious moment indeed, to be there with my book, and with all of you. :) I may have to hug the dog for a week afterwards, but that's ok!!!!!

No matter what else may happen, I will have a party at my house! And you're all invited! I will cook delicious vegan treats for you all, have sparkling soda for the kiddies and wine and whiskey for the grown-ups, prizes, and a little live music. I will happily dance out of my introverted shell for such an evening. I really miss all of you - my friends and family from Eugene, from past jobs, from past lives. So please stay tuned for details about book events as they arise, and for the party date, and let's celebrate!!!

Creative introverts unite!!!!! xoxoxoxo

Inside the Process: The Ups and Downs of Illustrating My Book

Sheesh. I thought this would be easier. I thought I could whip out 40 small, simple, black and white illustrations in no time. 40 might sound like a lot, but these would be really simple drawings - the kind that many middle grade novels have at the beginning of their chapters. Case in point - Garth Williams has them at the start of every Little House on the Prairie book chapter. Great little black and white drawings of everyday items like buckets, harness, ears of corn - things that are reflected in the chapter. I have long-loved those drawings of his, and wanted to make them for my own book. So I thought - naively - no problem! I can whip up 40 small drawings of ravens, a squirrel or two, some pine cones, blackberries, maybe a bear - I do have a deadline, and it's only two weeks away. But that seemed like plenty of time - and so I got started this morning, fully expecting to get at least five done today. 

Um, no. I got one. And now that deadline suddenly feels like tomorrow.

The problem is consistency. They need to look like each other, they need to be very clean, very perfect, and I guess my chops are rusty, because they are none of those things. Argh. Trying to re-learn how to draw in time to illustrate your own book is perhaps - duh- an impossible task.

I do just fine when I can erase away, leaving smudges and smears, and corrections that are visible, but when I go to make the "final" drawing - the one I'm going to actually use - I get all shaky, and the proportion is always off, and I just can't re-create the success of the first sketch. I have no idea what most other illustrators do, but I'll bet some of them have the exact same problem.

When I was a print maker I used to think that I was lacking some fundamental skill because I couldn't draw directly onto the plate very well. After all, my favorite etchings had draftsman-like perfection. How in the heck did they do that?! For me, drawing in ink with a stylus is a wiggly, shaky, very imperfect affair. I felt I couldn't be a "real" artist because real ones could surely call up a perspective-perfect drawing, full of gesture and life - at a moment's notice, in any medium. I thought that printmakers like Rembrandt drew their masterpieces straight onto the plate, with no guides.

I've since found out that is not true, by any means. Artists have any multitude of ways of transferring pre-drawn images onto their final medium. Placing a drawing directly onto the ink and tracing it will leave the desired image behind. Carbon paper was a favorite transfer tool, as was poking holes in a paper along the lines of an illo and (believe it or not) blowing colored chalk dust through them to mark where to put lines. And there are tools for easier drawing on awkward surfaces - there are wrist bridges to hold your arm off a wet or smear-able surface - you don't, as I used to think, have to be an uber-strong contortionist and create a perfectly-rendered masterpiece while holding your aching wrist in the air. There are all kinds of trade tricks and secrets to getting just the right final image, whether it was your first attempt or last. 

So - luckily I have many sketches for the book that I've done over the last year, that I love. To solve my consistency problem I am going to call on some of these age-old methods, and transfer these sketches onto clean paper, instead of making whole new ones. They have the proper perspective and the life and character I'm looking for, they are just too rough to use directly. But if I transfer them very lightly to a clean sheet of paper and then go back in to ink them in, I think they will work beautifully. Hooray!

That means I only have about ten more to do from scratch. In two weeks. I think I can do that. (still naive?)

I love a map, so of course I had to make one. This one has many real-life places such as Mt. Hood (Wy'east), Mt. Adams (Klickitat), Mt. St. Helens (Loowit), the Columbia River, and of course The Bridge of the Gods itself. It is generally a map of Oregon, although not an exact topographical match.

A fun note: the reknowned hippy fair in the woods known as "The Oregon Country Fair" (where I spent a significant part of my childhood), is featured in the book as "The Cobbly Fair". Look closely and you might even find a loose reference to the Flying Karamazov Brothers, a legendary juggling team. Good times! ;)

Meanwhile, here is a sneak peak of what I'm doing in the next two weeks - just to (hopefully) tantalize your imagination, and make you wonder about Chloe's story, and what happens to her in the Bridge of the Gods.

Today's artistic process take-away? Let the frustration flow through you, and then let it go. Look for a solution, you're farther ahead than you think. Stay light, stay focused. xoxoxo 

Bridge of the Gods and My Love of The Middle Reader

People, we have a cover! And it's so magical! Thrilled beyond words. A HUGE thank you and major props to Julie my cover director at She Writes Press, and to Brooke Warner and Lauren Wise for guiding me along through this amazing process. I'll let you all know when there is a reading or book signing after it comes out this August!

"Bridge of the Gods" is a middle grade fantasy set on the Oregon coast in 1908. Chloe Ashton, an only child, has a special way with nature. Animals approach her, follow her, and try to communicate with her. When a family tragedy results in Chloe being abducted and sold to the vagabonds, she is taken deeper into the woods and finds out just how much the animals know. Set at time when technology is first appearing around the country, there is still a lot of old, natural magic in the land.

There are some really fun characters both animal and human, and Book Two is already written!

I read a lot. I always have. Even though I'm busy like everyone else, distracted by screens, and haven't seen the inside of the library in about three years, I am constantly reading. What are you reading you might ask? My answer - all of the books on my shelves. Over, and over. I have a bit of a collection having worked at the largest independent bookstore in the world (shout out to Powell's Books!) for three years, as a generalist, which is to say in every room. Handling all those books, all those treasures, gave me a wide scope of appreciation for the craft of book making, and I particularly collected older books, out of print books, and children's books.

My favorite genre? Middle Readers. Since I was a middle reader myself. And my shelves reflect it - I have wonderful original editions of all the classics from "A Cricket in Time Square" to "The Black Stallion" to the entire "Little House" series - all hardback, from the 1960's and earlier - carefully mylared (book nerd alert) - and treasured. And read, and re-read. Because middle readers are about imagination. About stories, adventures, early discoveries in life. Before the Young Adult angst sets in, before sex and cell phones start dominating the mind, when magic and animals and the simplicity of life take center stage. That is my wheelhouse. And that is why I wrote a middle grade series. I wanted to be on my shelf somewhere next to E.B. White, George Selden, and Laura Ingalls Wilder. At least at my house.

The book will be published August 15th, 2017, and will be available in bookstores and on Amazon. Stay tuned for more exciting developments! xoxoxo Diane

Week Two…On it, Killin’ it, Monday’s easy….

OK, maybe an exaggeration., but you fake it until you make it.   The long and short of it:

1. My kids just started school again after holiday break. Praise the Lord. Love having them home, totally happy having them go back to school. One of our marital points of contention (and by contention I mean, it drives me so crazy I want to run off to Hawaii with the gardener), is that John is fine with the kids going full native, no rules, no structure and no restrictions, during breaks. I like to retain some structure so we aren’t starting from ground zero when school starts back up. Anyway, in a nut shell, we’re starting from ground zero today.

2. I cleaned out my fridge AND cabinets this weekend…and, drumroll please….shopped for my nicely organized weekly menu plan per my cooksmarts.com shopping list. If I can stick this out, it will be a huge time saver and I’m pretty sure it will cut our monthly food bill in half.

3. I got my run in, AND finished my walking commitment (had 3.5 miles to complete my 10 mile goal. Super. Star.

4. I started gathering all my beauty products and am preparing to do a revamp of my routine. I already got on board with my 2017 hair goals (and I just got it done and it totally renewed my commitment to stay on top of my hair…because it looks 1000x better when it’s done. I knew that, but visual confirmation drove it home once again.) It was a dilemma what to concentrate on this week because I feel like there are so many areas to deal with—but skin won out because it pairs nicely with the physical health of the body and sets a good foundation for the year's skin health.

5. I was sugar free all weekend . It was hard, but only at night. I eat sweet snacks at night out of boredom and it seems like the natural “cap” on the day. I find myself wandering into the kitchen around 9 looking for “something”. A chocolate would do nicely. Not this month.

6. I started a new book: When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi. Heavy in nature (a memoir of a  dying man), but so far, really moving. My thinking was yes, this was a heavy book to start with so early in the year, but there’s nothing like a little perspective to help you maintain a good path.

7. I made no-sugar granola….yum.   With Greek yogurt, perfectly healthy breakfast.  I mixed oats, almonds, tablespoon of coconut oil drizzled over the top, dried coconut, vanilla paste, maple syrup and dried cranberries.  Worked great, it was plenty sweet.

I recently read this old article where they grilled Martha Stewart on her beauty regime (think this article is probably 2 years old.) I liked it because she’s a total product whore, and uses a TON…and is unapologetic for her rigorous regime, her high end list (but there were lots of items that were actually not high end too), and overall her high maintenance self. She clearly has really nice skin, isn’t 20 (I hate when models in their 20’s tell us their regime is to do nothing but splash with ice water and do masks with mashed up avocadoes…talk to me in 20 years babe, let me know if that is still working for you), and she has a rigorous schedule of travel/heavy makeup for camera so you have to figure that her products have to be pretty heavy duty. SO…what did I do? I promptly ordered three of her suggested products to give it a test. I have to say Martha, so far I agree….I agree. Here’s what I ordered:

            -Mario Badescu’s rosewater tonic. I’ve seen this referred to repeatedly as the spray that people keep  in their handbags to “refresh” their skin. I was super skeptical because who actually does that? I do, that’s who. It’s awesome, smells amazing, and it really does just that—gives you a pep. If you hate the smell of roses, stay away.  It's a steal at $12.

            -Skin Ceuticals B5 Hydrating Masque. Used it once. Love. I didn’t think it would actually soak in, but it does….it’s sticky afterward but I rolled off the excess and woke up the next day with super hydrated skin.

I have’t used my third product yet….will let you know how that fairs.

Here’s my goal this week. To go thru my drawers in the bathroom of all my product crap and throw out what I didn’t like, or is old now (I have things that are WAY too old to have any good left in them), and then figure out what is working and what else I need.  I’m 46. There’s no time to spare, I need to be taking care of my skin with tender reverence or else it’s going to look real, real bad when I’m 100. I’m going to try and go thru my makeup too. I have a few favorites that need replenishing, but I think I need a refresh too. I’m a little obsessed with www.glossier.com right now, but I have yet to actually order anything so I can’t weigh in on how the product is.   Hitting the order button today though, will keep you posted. I’m hoping we can come away with a “favorites” product list after this week, so contribute your favorite here (share your secrets woman for the love of all things)!!! :-)

Signed, ME {lv}

August 15th, 2017

Ahhh, August. Feels like a world away right now, doesn't it? It's 29 degrees outside at the moment, the world is totally frozen and still, the streets and sidewalks are slick with ice, squirrels are shivering in the pine trees, the heater is whining and doing its best to keep us warm, and I'm dreaming of August NOT because it's warm...but because that is when my book will be published!!!!

I just found out this morning, my publication date is August 15th, 2017. Woot!!!!!

I have described the book before, but in case you missed that post, here is my short description of it: 

"Bridge of the Gods is a middle-grade-to-adult fantasy set in 1908 on the Oregon Coast. Twelve year-old Chloe Ashton is a wealthy, only child living in the remote wilderness. She prefers animals’ company to that of other children, and spends her days happily exploring the forests around her home. She is delighted when the forest creatures seem to recognize her, follow her, and even to communicate with her. When a family tragedy results in Chloe being abducted and sold to the vagabonds, she is taken deeper into the woods, and discovers just how much the animals know. Set at a time when technology begins to take hold of the land, Bridge of the Gods is a book about the transformative power of nature, finding friendship in the darkest of places, and using an ancient, natural magic to find your way home."

It's an epic tale - at least two books long, and the sequel is already written. I'm so excited to begin the process of the copy editing where I help choose the fonts and layout, and of course the final cover art - I've never done this before, but I can't imagine anything more fun! Stay tuned for more details. Happy weekend! xoxoxo DR 

 

Excellent book!!

I just finished the book, "The Post-Birthday World", by Lionel Shriver and it was GREAT.  A really, REALLY well written book about the psychology of relationships and the choices we make, or don't make (fiction).  One of the best books I've read in a long time!!  Signed, ME {lv}

Oh Crap, I should have never read this book!

I may have ruined my eating life.  I just finished reading, Skinny Bitch, and I don't think I can eat meat or dairy again!!!  Do I have to become a vegan??  I love steak, but after reading this book I'm so disgusted by the images of slaughter houses I don't know if I can ever eat it again!!!  Interesting book....don't read it if you love meat.  Signed, ME {lv}

Great baby gift idea!

Just spied this book, and it is ADORABLE!  "This little piggy went to Prada" , by Amy Allen.....A book dedicated to nursery rhymes of the fashionable kind!  Signed, ME {lv| 

Hysterical book, great for a pregnant or new mom!

This is the funniest book EVER.  My sister bought this for me, it is called Hatched, by Sloane Tanen.  It has these hysterical little illustrations of these baby chicks, mother, father, baby, and tiny little miniature houses and things.  Then, opposite these funny drawings are statements like, "Sally was thrilled abuot having all her sorority sisters in the delivery room...until she popped.  That was so NOT Kappa Kappy Gamma."  ....AND.... "As the unborn girl listened to her parents argue over baby names, her dreams of Harvard or Yale evaporated.  Did they really think naming her Cinnamon or Ginger would guarantee her a future anywhere but the nudie bar?"   

All of the saying are cheeky, and frighteningly dead on.  I was laughing like crazy and plan on getting this cute book for any pregnant or new mom I know!  Signed, ME {lv}

Parenting book recommendation.

Admission #1, I have never bought a parenting book, with the exception of What to Expect When Expecting and What to Expect the First Year.

Admission #2, I'm terrified of over thinking parenthood.  I think it is the plight of many older parents (face it, we aren't 22 like most of our parents were when they had us), to overthink, and over control parenting--we are older, we know the pitfalls,  and we also are know much better at controlling our environment than a 22 year old.  I know so many people who have read every parenting book under the sun and make themselves crazy with trying so hard.  The results are narotic kids who are over stimulated, over pampered....basically over-everything.  In my fear of falling into this trap, I think I've inadvertently swung to the opposite extreme of the spectrum....hence, the lack of parenting books on my bookshelves. 

So, despite the fact that my doctor has twice recommended this book over the past two years, and despite having my hands full with two very energetic, curious, and ready to test limits at every corner toddlers  (which isn't every kid I've come to realize....some are mellower, some aren't as curious, and some don't test limits like it is an Olympic sport), I have until yesterday NOT bought this book.  I was prompted to actually by my girlfriend who is a children's at risk counselor for a school district, and currently getting her second Master's Degree in something related.  She mentioned the book and said one of her longtime mentors, a child pyschologist has referred to the book consistently over the years and swears by it.  O.K., time to investigate, it isn't like I couldn't use loads of tips, suggestions and techniques.

The book is one most of you probably have already heard about, but for the few like me who haven't, I'm passing it on, "Parenting with Love & Logic" by Foster Cine, MD, and Jim Fay.  It is a great book, and exactly what I wanted and needed to read if I only read one book on parenting for the rest of my life (which in my case may in fact be exactly what happens)....wish I had read it 2 years ago!!

Signed, ME {lv}   

Book to read....maybe!

I've recently finished the book, Average American Male by Chad Kultgen.   Super fast read.  VERY sexually graphic, very raw, and according to some critics, an accurate portrayal of the animal otherwise known as the "male".  I found the book infuriating, and kept thinking how this man (the narrator of his own story of trivial day to day happenings and so-called relationships) was a complete jerk with little to no redeeming value.  I kept thinking that this couldn't be the average male because we'd be in a heap of trouble (which we may in fact be in so maybe I'm kidding myself.)  In fact, after reading the book on the way back from the LA market I left the book on the plane intentionally because I was irritated by it and I didn't want my husband to read it (there is a huge amount of porn star type sex in the book that the 30'ish man seems to have abundantly and since it gives the impression that it was completely average I figured that my husband didn't really need to read it.)  Anyway, after getting home and ranting to him about it a little, his interest of was course sparked (no doubt in part by the "porn star sex") and he bought it the next day while at the airport for a business trip.  His take on the book??  He wasn't nearly as disgusted by the main character as I was (he kept trying to justify his actions and highlight his "good" points), he agreed that the sexual obssession that this man had was a fairly accurate account of the male species, and actually said he "liked" the book...thought it was "interesting".  SHOCKING!!  Our different takes on the book I found really fasinating....I think the book is probably worth reading and giving to your partner just to see your separate "views" on it.  Beware though, it is graphic in every respect except violence....there is no violence :-)!  Signed, ME {lv}

Book to read!

I've just bought the book, "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak after reading its rave reviews in the New York Times.  I've only just begun....maybe a 100 pages and I'm totally sucked in!!  It is differently written and engaging and you immediately feel the characters despite the offbeat way the author has of engrossing you.  I'll check back after I've finished, but a I'm already excited enough to recommend it to everyone!!  Signed, ME {lv}

Excellent quote!!

I wanted to share this quote by Shel Silverstein:

"there is a voice inside of you that whispers all day long,

"I feel that this is right for me, I know that this is wrong."

no teacher, preacher, parent, friend or wise man can decide what's right for you -- just listen to the voice that speaks inside."

Read a great book....

Vacations, and the random moment of peace and quiet deserve an excellent book.  I devoured Joan Didion's "The Year of Magical Thinking" on Sunday.....it was heartbreakingly poigent, her tale of surviving the death of her husband breaks your heart a little bit with each page.  She is such a beautiful writer, and she nagivates the path of grief in such a way that you gain an understanding, an appreciation, and respect for every moment you get to enjoy life, and the people in it, as you know it.  Prepare to cry, but it is an absolute "must-read".  Signed, ME {LV}

ps....the review on the back of the book that encouraged me to buy it was "I can't think of a book we need more than hers....I can't imagine dying without this book." (from The New York Review of Books).  With a review like that--how could I NOT buy it??