Me in Melange

Thank You Never Gets Old

Romeo has this endearing habit.  I don't know where he got it, or who taught him to do it with such vigor.  If I did I would lavish them with praise, gifts and indebtedness.  I have tried all types of good manner indoctrination and some have stuck, but far more haven't.  Every time we eat any meal, and I mean EVERY time, Romeo thanks both John and I.  Doesn't matter who made the meal, or if we made it at all (take out warrants the same thing).  He stops and says, "thank you mommy for dinner (or insert lunch, breakfast etc.)".  He does the same with John.  Not a shout as he bolts out of the room, but a genuine, stop and look at me, makes sure I hear, type of thank you.  It's amazing.  At first I thought it was just a fad.  Like maybe he heard some other kid do it and he was copying it. But nope, he's been doing it for probably over a year and it doesn't show signs of stopping.  It never, ever gets old either.   I mean NEVER.  I appreciate his thanks every single time because number one it's genuine, and number two, I don't get thanked enough in general so when I do, it feels really good.  

So it reminds me to share my gratitude more ritually too.  Thank you all our Melange family of customers and friends, for making our world better, for supporting our business that we love, and for being overall awesome.  If I said it every day it would barely be enough and it would be genuine every time.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day and takes the time to thank those around you because it never, ever gets old.

Signed, ME {lv}

Meringues, Reopening & Life Stresses

First off, I made meringues today...sugar FREE meringues.  I ordered powdered monkfruit sugar, and substituted that in and it actually worked just fine.  That was a highlight of the day (also, a tiny 20 minute fraction of the day).  The rest of the minutes were filled with all kinds of life stresses.  One big one?  Ava is a month (conservatively) behind on home school assignments.  ADHD teens with no structure right now are not fairing well.  I spent five solid hours on English and Political Econ with her and we went painfully week by week, assignment by assignment.  Oh the fun. I also feel very strongly that I could barely make it thru a high school English class present day.  It certainly didn't feel that hard when I was in high school, but then again, I might have been blowing half of it off, I can't remember.

What I realized today though, as I was sitting down to work AFTER the harder work of trying to keep Ava on task, was that despite the excitement about reopening this Friday, I'm quickly realizing it brings with it all kinds of new stresses.  It's the reminder that you solve one problem and you replace it with others right?  These past eight weeks we could do nothing but lament NOT being open, and worrying about what that meant, and letting the stress of being closed be something that was going to be solved by being open.

Clearly, that's not quite true.  The stress of being closed is about to be replaced by the stress of being open, which could be better, but on the other hand, might still be really stressful.  I guess my only point is that we have to simply remind ourselves to deal with whatever is on our plates right now, and try hard not to pretend that things will be substantially different when "x" happens.  The truth is, life has more stressors than we can expect, and the only way to navigate them is to accept then, and expect more to come our way.

So bring on the reopening stress, I welcome it, as long as we get to see everyone's smiling faces.

I'm also welcoming the cutest new Not Soap, Radio line that we just got in.  Quirky soaps, scrubs and lotions, that make you smile, but also smell wonderful and feel wonderful on the body.  We all need more "little luxuries" in our life that make us happy and this is a perfect example!  They make awesome gifts too!

Signed, ME {lv}

 

9 Year Old Wisdom To Kick Off May

Romeo spent a solid 30 minutes today laying out his sales plan for the guitar deal of the century.  He outlined how for a mere $10 I could get 10 songs a day for the duration of the Coronavirus, BUT if I paid $25 I would get 10 songs a day for a year.  (I'm not sure he's totally up on current events because one of those timelines seems off).  There were all kinds of other deals for all budgets.  For $1000 marked down to $500 I could get 10 songs a day for 10 years.  When I asked him if there were any smaller packages than $10, he said for $5 I could get the national anthem played on the guitar 10 times.  At one point he told her he got a text and it "looked like there was a special promo that just started on the $50 package that brought it down to $25" (I think he realized his audience had some price resistance. I ended up going with the $10 package but I made him sign a contract for the sale.

Lesson to be learned:  When you love something, give it your ALL, shake your money maker, be flexible, know your crowd and be passionate.  (in this case Romeo's love was his desire for Roblox video game money and his money maker was his guitar).

After nightly tuck-in was done, lights were off and kids were in bed and quiet, 5 minutes went by and I heard Romeo call out.  "mommy, I think I have an idea".  He said it with such reflection, such pause....as if he'd really deliberated on this and formulated something big in those 5 minutes of quiet.  "I am going to brush my teeth every morning, except Saturday and Sunday".   (take note cavities, weekends are now your window)

Lesson to be learned: Sometimes any plan is better than no plan because it just feels so good to make a decision.

Happy May everyone!

Signed, ME {lv}

ps. grab up the COH masks, these will go quick and we know we're going to need them!

Masks, Home Schooling and The Mother of all Mother’s Days

First off, we are getting in Citizens of Humanity face masks, for any of you who need more masks--we'll have them this week!  They turned their LA factory into a mask production site and have been knocking out these simple and much needed masks. I wore one today on my grocery store outing, but wow, they take some getting use to don't they?  I still feel really odd every time I go out wearing one, not to mention claustrophobic.  I imagine we'll all get use to them as we eventually come out of quarantine and end up wearing the masks more. There will be mask mandatory regulations everywhere in no time.

While at the grocery store this morning Romeo face timed me with a "math question".  He was gunning for help RIGHT NOW, and launched into his 'instructions" without me getting a word in edgewise. The instructions were LONG, and complicated.  As he was reading I was thinking that I was super impressed with his 3rd grade reading, AND thinking I had absolutely NO idea what his math was about.  That's right, third grade math apparently is officially past my skill set.  Depressing.  I had to blame it on my grocery store location limitation and directed him to ask his dad, but really, I had NO idea what the hell he was suppose to do. Which leads me to this little funny on the right, which my sister sent the other day. So true.

Which also leads me to my last point which is that THIS is going to be the mother of all Mother's Days.  Why?  Because this has been a real hard last two months of mothering.  Even if you are one of the rare birds that didn't think it was hard, it was super weird and at the very least that has made it really challenging.  

Mother's all over have had to dig deep, REAL deep, to deal with the daily stress, kid boredom, home schooling, meltdowns, discomfort, cooking, cleaning, and oh did I mention stress coming at you from all sides? There's also all kinds of work stressors for many on top of that.  Emotions have run the gauntlet and thru it we've had to put on a brave face, and pull some semblance of routine together (all while trying to maintain a 4:30 p.m. or later happy hour which has been tough).  So whether you are mothering, or you appreciate the mothering you got, or you see someone's mothering you admire and respect, this is the year to show the love. 

The mail is a tad slower right now, so make sure you get any gifts out with a little cushion to spare.  Even if it's little tokens of adoration, they will be gratefully received (I'm just basing this on my own feeling that ANY present is pretty darn amazing).  We gift wrap and ship for free, so there's really no excuse. :-)

Oh, and lastly (for real)....I kept up my exercise goal for the second day and I'm ready to make Wednesday #3.  I definitely feel better.  It's a push to do it, but I know it's good for me and I already feel more perky emotionally.  Well, perky might be a stretch, but definitely perky adjacent.

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Home Salon & Corona Playdates

I took the plunge today, and did my roots with REAL salon hair color.  My hair dresser did me a solid and hooked me up with the real deal.  Two tubes of color to do whatever magic he does, and then the activator.  His parting words were, "equal parts color and activator, mix well, 30 minutes...and remember, this is the real permanent stuff, so don't screw it up".  Easy right?

I got out the kitchen measuring scale so I could do the exact right amount of each color tube and the exact right amount of activator, and then I mixed that bad boy up and came up with a very, VERY thick mixture. I texted him a picture and got the thumbs up and then I went to town. Of course when it came to the back of my head I couldn't do that without assistance, so who better than Gia?   My 12 year old who has yet to have cultivated an arsenal of snarky comments that I no doubt would have gotten from either of the older girls.  Gia took it to task and I think managed the whole back of my head, but the good news is that if she actually missed any spots I couldn't see it anyway. 

30 mins later I was grey root free, a miracle!!  It also looks about 100x better than last time I tried something myself which included the clairol grey root color touchup from Walgreens which while not horrible, wasn't nearly "normal".  It's pretty awesome to have my 'not natural' hair color back...I feel myself again!!

As I was sitting in my bedroom waiting out the 30 minutes while the hair color did its magic I could hear Romeo in his room having a playdate with his cousin who is also 9.  They were playing the equivalent of "house" within their Roblox game.  Remember playing "house" as a kid?  Where you basically pretend to do all the stuff we do in real life, but I guess better?  You take care of kids, make food, go places. We also played "roadway", which consisted of going up and down the long driveway, stopping at the stoplights, crosswalks etc., and trying not to get pulled over by the police (which was always my brother).  Kids love the kid version of adult things.

The amazing part is that they have managed to figure out how to have a virtual playdate on multiple levels.  First off, they are both on their computers and they are navigating around their house on Roblox together, and then they have iPads set up with video capability AND of course audio, so they can talk to each other about what they are doing.  "Go tell me it's time to go to school and then I'll grab my lunch",  "can you take me in your car to school", "pretend that your my dad".   There is also a lot of singing going on.  It was hysterical.  I need to secretly video tape it so I never forget how funny it is.   What a different world the kids have now compared to when I was 9, but that's what every generation says looking back and waxing nostalgic about their childhood.  Really though, the world is a crazy place now, even without the corona virus and every once in awhile I realize how much it's changed.  

We live in a really urban area, so Romeo's "yard" is the street where he plays basketball with his friends and rides bikes (neither of which he can do right now).   It's also the huge park three blocks away where he plays (also can't do that right now).  He's starving for interaction with kids other than his sisters and it's amazing to me that they have this whole virtual world where they can meet, interact and "play" and it actually WORKS really well. Lack of physical fitness element aside.  

Lastly, we are about to enter the LAST week of April.  The very last one...of APRIL!!!  It's blowing my mind really.  Our first full month of quarantine and for most of us when the end of the month hits we'll have been sheltering in place for 6 weeks.   Wow, that's all I can say.  Wow.

So I was thinking we might want to hit it hard this coming week with our goal, so that we can hit the ground running right into May (which hopefully will hold some lock-down relief).  We need a nice strong goal, so we picked the goal of exercise and moving our bodies to stay healthy.  I think I voted for this goal now because I've noticed in the last few days I've been dragging.  A little physically, and probably mostly mentally.  It's been hard for me to rally the energy to exercise and I've felt tired and blah.  I know I feel better when I DO exercise, especially when I feel in the aforementioned mood.  So that's it people....let's exercise next week!  Let's commit right now to kick off Monday with something healthy and strong, and to do something every single day to better our body.  No excuses, and even if you are dragging, or feeling in a mild-depressed-quarantine-state-of-mind, or feel puffy from too many quaran-tinis, let's just do it anyway because we know it'll make us feel better.  I'm in, so get in too!

Signed, ME {lv}

The Life Lesson of Video Games, Rain & Yoga Clothes Ban

Romeo pulled me to his room today, with exuberant pride, "I have to show you my new house mommy".  Yes, he's on Roblox building houses, his video game obsession which I've written about before.  So he's touring me around his new house and it's dark--real dark.  Then he explains that it's "dark right now because I couldn't pay my electric bill".  Yes, apparently even in make believe land, if you don't pay your bills, the lights go out.  I felt better about giving the OK for entirely too much video game time because hey, aren't those some good life lessons he's learning?

Today I was slated to do a lot of housework.  It's incredible how dirty the house seems to get with all of us home ALL the time.  Plus really, only 1 1/2 of us actually do anything to clean it and I'm giving John 1/2 a person's contribution which I think is probably way too generous. 

Anyway, I was contemplating how I could elevate my mundane tasks, when I decided to outsource it entirely.  That's right, for a mere $100, I recruited my 17 year old to clean the house top to bottom.  So in a way, I DID elevate the task, I elevated it by taking it OFF my "to do" list.  Best decision I made all week.

Next best decision was to not fight John when he subtly suggested that instead of tamales like I was planning for dinner, we could just order from this pizza place that is the ONE pizza place in town that has everything for everyone.  Usually the nice places are too fancy for Romeo and Gia, they just want good old fashioned mozzarella, not fresh good mozzarella rounds.  Lucia has to have balsamic vinegar and honey on her pizza, I need it gluten free and vegan.  Basically we are all annoying with our demands.  Anyway, he tried, in his not so subtle way to shift me from my plans of making dinner to the take out option (which he'd probably prefer most nights truthfully).  I didn't even resist, I just elevated my making dinner task by taking it right off my "to do" list.  Second best decision of the day.  It's amazing when you take housework and cooking off your list, how much TIME you have to get other stuff done.  Wow.

Third best decision of the day was to once again get dressed.  Don't get excited, I had on the same jeans I had on yesterday actually (my favorite Citizens--the Emmerson style), and a tee shirt, so it wasn't like I was decked out, BUT it was a win for me because it's rainy and dreary outside and it was frankly hard to motivate myself after yoga to actually shower and pull myself together.  It felt good though, and I decided to make a new rule for myself that bans wearing yoga attire past noon.

I also realized today, with the arrival of the Wishbeads bracelets, that in my frenzy to buy them for everyone I knew last year, I NEVER actually bought myself one.  I know, crazy right?  I only JUST realized the significance of this today.  I have been waiting for the bracelets to arrive because I'm pondering who else I can buy them  for since Mother's Day is coming (and I love to shower my besties who are mammas with little Mother's Day gifts), but during that whole thought process I never actually thought about what to get for ME.  All that changes right now, because now I've realized that I should of COURSE get one.  What better time to set a wish/affirmation and slap it on my wrist to energetically bond with me and set the universe in motion??  Just sayin', it's possible, and I'm getting one to make sure it does!   As a side note though, they do come super well positioned for gift giving, look at this cute box!

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Near Misses, Erasa, Spa Yoga & Grown Up Dinner

You know my sister that always ignores my phone calls?  Well, despite that, I try and leave a  missed call on her phone here and there, mostly out of habit and mostly because I periodically get hopeful she'll answer. Well today I called, she didn't pick up but she did text back and actually say she would call me later and "was everything ok?"  I thought it was a bit odd since I didn't leave a message, clearly it wasn't important or an emergency, and usually she doesn't seem to care one way or another when she sees a missed call from me.

Well, two hours later she called me BACK.  Shocker right?  I picked up the phone and she launches right in with "well, I guess you heard what happened to me"!  Huh?  Actually no, I was just calling to say hi and check in.  Unbeknownst to me I had missed the "big news" that must have been floating around the family.

What happened?   Well, it's a cautionary tale that is a good reminder for us all.  She was driving on the freeway, by herself.  Going the speed limit and cruising along without an issue in the far right lane.  The car to her left decided to move lanes without checking her blind spot and she literally just moved over and hit my sister at the front of her car.  The force was hard enough, and the speed fast enough that there  was no way to react, and the next thing she knew she was slammed into the concrete barrier on the side of the road, and then subsequently hit one of those reader boards they park on the site of the road that post messages about speed, or delays etc.  She crashed into that and by the time she stopped every air bag was deployed in the car, and the entire front end was squished forward like a collapsed soda can.  She, miraculously, wasn't hurt (except for general aches and a swollen lip).  The driver that hit her was fine too, and since there weren't many people on the road no one else was hurt.  She said it all happened insanely fast, there was no time to avoid or swerve or do anything.  She was incredibly lucky, and it's a reminder that #1 driving is dangerous, and it's easy to forget how dangerous.  #2, sometimes people just make mistakes, even when they are driving the speed limit, and otherwise good drivers, and sometimes you are the unlucky recipient of that.  Life can throw the most unexpected curveballs, just another reminder.  The woman that hit her felt horrible, and it was simply a momentary lapse on her part that could have had lethal repercussions--they all got really lucky.  

On another, less scary note, I put my diffuser on this morning and burned a candle when I did yoga to "elevate the mundane".  It made it like a little spa hour, it was awesome.  I wouldn't necessarily call yoga mundane, but sometimes it gets a little routine, and putting on the diffuser and candle made it feel more special.  Truth be told, sometimes I cut the classes down because the beginnings and endings can be looonnnnggg and while they are super peaceful, it's hard to steal 15 minutes for a super slow meditative start to class (simply because most of the time the kids will ignore my  activities and come busting into the room ruining my zen).  The answer has been to cut the start and finish a little short, BUT today I didn't do that.  I luxuriated in the entire class, every minute and it was much, much more peaceful.  I had to leave a note on my door that said "don't bother me under penalty of grounding, unless you are bleeding (a lot) or the house is on fire".  I got my full hour.

My other attempt at elevating the mundane was my vision of having a grown up dinner, complete with wine. glasses with sparkling water for the kids and lemon wedges.  It was a nice idea, but by the time dinner rolled around I was so tired from the long day, and John didn't feel like cooking with me, so I voted for easy breakfast for dinner, he agreed and it turned into the opposite of a grown up dinner.  It was like a kid dinner. Wine glasses tomorrow (maybe).

The best part of the day was when I stole away to grocery shop, and was taking my time doing it since it's basically a treat now to go out.  I got a call from John who said he had his mother on the other line and she had a question for me so could he patch her in.  He patches her in and you know the question?  It's about the.best way for her to cover her gray roots (she's blond, courtesy of a really good hairdresser that she now can no longer go to).  She thought I would have the "best advice" and I'm guessing this is because I've get lots of grey roots and have no doubt bought a box or two at a drugstore in my lifetime.  She wasn't wrong.  But the best part was trying to explain what she needed to buy as I"m walking in the store and wearing my mask.  I don't know what it is about those stupid masks but they make me feel like I have to talk loud, so I'm explaining all about grey coverup color, as I'm walking thru the uppidity high end grocery store, and I'm basically shouting.  There's nothing like passing a cute guy at the frozen aisle while you say loudly "look for touch up grey root dye, and make sure it's permanent so it covers it up really well".  I'm guessing he probably also noticed I wasn't taking my own advice.

Lastly, in an attempt to kick it up a notch with my beauty routine I bought Erasa XEP-30 which is supposed to hit the lines on your face HARD (in a good way).  I mean, the word "erasa" sure seems like it would do it right?  I am already worried about coming out of this quarantine looking SO much scarier than going into it.  I need some high powered skin stuff to be my stand in for botox because who knows when that's going to be available again and I can't come out of this period with 2" of grey roots, wearing sweats because nothing else fits, and looking 10 years older because all my botox has worn off.  No thank you cover-19.

Hope everyone found at least one thing today to elevate the "basic", and make it sparkle just a little.

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Bloxburg Mansion & Serendity of Chance

If you happen to know any 9 year old boys, you have probably heard of Roblox (the video game).  An off shoot of that is Bloxburg, where you can build your very own super awesome crib, much like you could do with Legos, but way cooler.  So Romeo has spent an untold amount of time on video gaming in the last month.  It's literally untold because I am too embarrassed to tell it.  Today he unveiled his masterpiece however, and took me into his world, which I have to say was enviable.  Backyard was huge, with an enormous pool, some very cool pool furniture, a trampoline, swings, pool toys, and even a diving board.  Main house had a white grand piano, a motorcycle on display, loads of t.v. rooms and playrooms, and a HUGE kitchen.  He's living large in Bloxburg. I'll give him this, the kid knows how to deck out a pad.  He literally can NOT remember to flush the toilet or wash his hands.  I mean he really can't, every time I hear his bathroom door shut I wait 5 seconds and then scream, "flush the toilet and wash your hands"--even then it's 50/50 as to whether either get done. BUT despite that, the kid has mad skills at house buying, building and decorating. 

I read an interesting article today that I want to pass on about one of my favorite topics, the serendipity of chance.  I've always loved fixational books or movies about it....the moments in life that nudge you one way or another, or the situation where that random encounter changes everything.  The article was on a yoga site (Sonima), and it specifically talks about opening yourself up to the possibilities of random encounters as it relates to yoga (or rather how yoga preps us for it).  The article is interesting though, and I thought a good reminder to view the world as opportunities that presents itself sometimes in hidden and seemingly random ways.

My efforts toward reaching out today were, truth be told, a little exhausting.  This is a particularly raw time in the world, and everyone seems to have heightened emotions and opinions.  It can get a little intense.  I maybe bit off more than I could handle today, because I left several messages this morning and then spent a good chunk of the afternoon knee deep in conversations that were not particularly fun, uplifting OR soothing.  Mind you, I still reached out, still connected...but sometimes people give you more than you want (or for that matter can handle)--even people you adore.  Communication is such a great thing, but it can also be kind of tiring. Or maybe I was just reminded today how nice it is to surround yourself with people who see the good in things, the positive, the silver linings vs. the opposite of that.  Or maybe I just hit everyone on a down day when they needed to vent, I've definitely had my share of those.

Can't believe it is Friday already--crazy how that happened so quickly.  We're finishing out our last few days of the Women Helping Women event and I have a super respectable pile in the garage waiting for donation.  That feels good and when I think about the piles that everyone else no doubtably collected and you combine all of them together --well, that makes me extra happy to know that collectively we can do a lot.

Happy Friday lovelies!  Any order over $50 today gets to pick out whatever lip gloss they like just as a "something pretty" for you gift.  I'm partial to the Spella pink in flirt or happy hour, but Sara Happ I adore too in pink slip (very natural looking).  You can find all the lip glosses in the gift section, under beauty!  

Signed, ME {lv}

Being Blown Off, Exercise, Feeling Awkward & Sun Worshippers

My "reach out" plan today was to call my other sister (I have a total of 3, only one of which I speak to regularly).  This sister is 6 years my junior and we could be good friends because she is super cool, but we aren't because she's woefully flaky and it drives me batty.  So we exchange texts.  Sometimes.  I usually let her call me because years ago I got sick of making the effort.  BUT, today was going to be different because I was working on my challenge to reach out and connect with people. Except that she didn't answer my call, OR my text.  So, basically my efforts were totally sabotaged and I was blown off.  I'm going to try reaching out to someone easier tomorrow, family is tricky.

I forced Romeo to reach out today too, and he had better luck, but it took a solid 30 minutes of cajoling to get him to do it.  His friend's dad had texted me yesterday to see if Ro wanted to FaceTime with his friend Brody.  So we made a tentative time for today.  That time rolled around and I gave Romeo the phone number but his response was, "I don't want to, it's going to be awkward".   I hear the kids say this a lot--the "awkward" word.  It's pretty much the universal social fear right?  Feeling awkward, not knowing what to say, do or wear.  We had to go thru all the scenarios that were possible (i.e. what if we have nothing to talk about, what if I want to go and he wants to talk, what if my iPad runs out of batteries) and eventually he managed to reach out and contact his friend.  When all was said and done he had a great chat and I think it was good for him to push thru his 9 year old social anxiety.  If he was an adult and had that fear he just wouldn't have called and he would have missed out.

I am reminding myself today to exercise, because even though I don't always feel like it, it always makes me feel better.  I try to get on my mat every day, and I try to either walk or get on the Peloton too.  There are days though that feel heavier, and I just can't shake off that fatigue/morose feeling (Saturday was one such day).  Yesterday I was dragging a bit, and didn't necessarily feel like doing anything, but I pushed myself over the hump and it felt so good afterwards.  I am writing these words as a reminder to myself.  Get up and move even if you don't feel like it!! I notice with this whole quarantine/corona crisis that I can go a handful of days and feel like "I've got this", but then I hit a wall and drag.  I think what it boils down to is that it takes work to stay upright when things are all turned around, and it can be exhausting.  You can't feel on top of it every day, but at least for me if I continue to do the handful of things I know physically make a difference, my mind will follow.

On another note, apparently the UV index has been 5 here mid day and so the older two kids have been tanning.   That's right, teens still tan.  It's like nothing has changed from my high school days of baby oil and hours outside (or trips to the tanning booth).  I've been phobic about going in the sun as long as Ava and Lucia have been alive so I'm not sure why they aren't appropriately freaked out.  Yet they are not.  Nope, they are up on the terrace, in teeny tiny bikinis, frying their nice smooth skin.  When I told Lucia she might regret it when she's my age she said, "oh by then they will have easy medical fixes, I'll be fine, I'd rather look good now".  Just as a side note, she didn't use baby oil, but she DID use coconut oil.   Watching the whole thing made me slather on twice as much sunscreen. I didn't bother giving any lectures, it wouldn't help.

Lastly, I wore my Siganka Garland top today (I have it in pink), and it was perfect.  The weather was about 70 degrees, I had on that top, with my jeans cuffed and my Birkenstock flip flops.  It was just the right amount of relaxed bohemian.  Love this top!! LOVE.

Signed, ME {lv}

Wabi-Sabi, Linen Day & Zoom Don’ts

Linen day is always my most hated day (and that would be Mondays).   Full linen day is every other week and I hate it twice as much.  It means every duvet, pillow, shame and bed throws all get washed and it's exhausting.  I only do it for our bedroom,  Romeo and Gia's.  I try to encourage Ava and Lucia to do their own but they don't  usually until it just gets so gross and I eventually "force" them to do it (and it's me helping at every step).

So today was "full" linen day and it was awful, my arms till hurt  from getting all the comforters out of their duvets and then back into them.  The point of this story though is mostly that during this dreaded process, I happen to open the linen cabinet upstairs and was tempted to shove the stuff I wasn't using back in but then I realized it looked like a mess and I had no excuse to not just clean it right then.  So I did, and I ended up with a good size pile of linens that we weren't using (and in fact didn't even have a bed to use them on--Romeo's old twin sheets were useless with no twin beds in the entire house).  So I put all of those linens aside to also donate to the women's shelter when this quarantine gets lifted.  We focus on clothing during our WHW event, but really they are in desperate need of all kinds of soft goods too.  Sheets, toiletries,  etc.  Women (and more often than not their children) leave violent homes with nothing but the clothes on their back.  They have to set up a new home, and the shelter makes sure they have not only the clothing they need, but also other soft goods they will need to get settled into a new place.  SO, just a reminder as you are cleaning out your closets--linen closets count too!

Here's something cool that I came across today, the word wabi-sabi, which is a Japanese word which means "finding beauty in imperfections".  I thought that was an awesome word and also very fun to say.

On another note, I was reminded today of all the Zoom "don'ts" which really are the same as real life "don'ts" except multiple it by 5 because anything you do on camera is magnified and worse than if you were in person.  I was in a meeting for Romeo's class today about home schooling.  It was put on by his teacher and included all the parents.  There were probably 25 parents on the call, and you could see all the little insets and I realized what a spot light this whole Zoom thing is.   It's one thing when you are on a call with a handful of your besties, drinking wine.  You don't notice anything.  However, if you are listening to a boring speech that you have already heard at least 4 times by the school district via email and voicemail, then you tend to just stare at the other people on the call and simultaneously realize how much you actually hate Zoom when it's not a fun call (you'll also wish you'd put on a cuter top and some mascara). I saw some awfully goofy things going on among the inset pics.  Hey dad of some kid I don't know, maybe now isn't the time to keep trying to fix your hair in the mirror.  Hey mom of another kid I don't know, maybe don't keep sticking your pen into your ear, it looks dangerous AND gross.   Hey other dad of another kid I don't know, itching your nose does NOT include ANY amount of your finger actually going INTO your nose.  Seriously, all true.

To keep  up with my challenge today, I called my little sister who I haven't actually spoken to in probably two months.  By "spoken to" I mean with words on the phone.  We do text periodically, but that's not really the same.  So I called her today and had a very nice conversation, and it felt good to finally talk to her.  She's 8 year my junior and we were never quite as close growing up because of our age difference, so it's just sort of carried over into adulthood.  She's great though, and I really want to make a bigger effort to talk to her so this challenge was the perfect motivator! Anyone else expand their circle?

Big thanks to everyone who has shopped the WHW event so far, and THANK YOU for consciously gathering those things that our sisters need.  Women are the heart and soul of the world, let's face it, and it's up to us to protect each other and support each other.  We can and we will! 

Signed, ME {lvl}

Cake Headquarters

Cake headquarters sounds like a good thing.  Who doesn't love cake, and wherever cake is "headquartered" has to be equally awesome, right? 

The answer is, not so much.  I will literally go CRAZY if Gia keeps baking as much as she has been.  I know it's a good activity, I know she's bored, but seriously, ANOTHER cake?  I can't deal.  She makes a huge mess, which she diligently tries to clean up, but let's face it, no 12 year old is going to clean up the way I'd want it cleaned up.  She tries super hard, but literally ever time there is something wonky going on.  Like today's cake, she only noticed half-way thru that she didn't actually have enough eggs because this cake called for 8 eggs.  Yes, you heard right, EIGHT!  I can't keep up with the flour, sugar, butter and eggs demand.  It's impossible.  So then she had to "half" the recipes, but since the dry ingredients and the wet ingredients had all been assembled already, she had to then measure out equal portions and the whole thing was chaos.  Just so you can visualize, she's making a sprinkle, 5 layer cake.  So 5 little 6 inch round pans, loads and loads of sprinkles, and more cake then anyone can realistically eat.

I'm really trying to channel my gratitude here, and stop complaining....but aaaaahhhhhhhh, it's going to send me over the edge.  All I do is clean the kitchen, buy groceries, and oh yeah, cook real food (i.e. anything without sugar) that most of them complain about.   When you can just fill up on sprinkle cake, why bother eating real food? I have more time, but not more patience.  When she asks me, "what do they mean by 4 eggs and 4 egg yokes?"  I want to snap, because not only does it seem self explanatory, I am just tired of answering baking questions (there are SO many).  How's that for being a bad mommy?  In case you are wondering, YES, I did do yoga today, and YES, I do seem strung a little tight despite's that fact...I see it too.

Other than that bit of complaining, I AM excited for Friday.  Why you ask?  Because, Friday is just suppose to be more special (quarantine or no quarantine), and even thought the schedule isn't changing all that much on the weekends, at least there are a few things I'm excited about.  One of them is that my yoga studio is doing a live class on Saturday night AND on Sunday morning.  The Saturday night class (Saturday Night Soul) is a musician playing a cello, and a teacher named Tony who has the most meditative and relaxing voice ever.  Sunday is my favorite guru teacher Alex that I rave about all the time. He's amazing and is doing his Soul Shakin' class.  The classes are free, so I'm going to post the link here: YoYo Yogi Studio  I know Sunday is Easter and the class is at 10:30 a.m. so it might be tricky for a lot of us, but trust me when I say, his classes are inspiring, so if you can swing it, fit it in.

Meanwhile back at Melange :-), we are doing a "fun-ness" Friday section, because funness isn't a word, it made us laugh, and we thought it would be well,....drumroll please.....FUN!!  So check out the section, there are some fantastic styles at 50% off that you can't resist: Friday Funness Section

Have a happy Friday, we made it thru another week of quarantine, and hopefully some of you are still drinking water, AND writing in your gratitude journal.  Any little bit is a win as far as I'm concerned!!  

Signed, ME {lv}

Weren't We Just Here?

I woke up this morning thinking, "wasn't it JUST Friday?"  Actually, last Friday, I woke up thinking it was Thursday, so at least I didn't do that this week.  In so many ways the week went by in a flash, and in so many ways it felt like it was slow like molasses.  I can't figure out the dissonance.  I think the days feel long, but the week didn't I guess.

Then I asked myself what I did this week, did I do anything?  I was pleasantly surprised when I tallied up in my head what I did.  

I drank a LOT of water, much more than in any other week for as long as I can remember.  I think I also cemented down a darn good habit.  I also cooked a lot of veggies, and I'm happy to say, my fridge has no dead, wilting veggies in it anymore.  Thanks to Amanda's challenge -- it kickstarted me!

Romeo finished his 4th grade flashcards, which means we went on a lot of walks and did a lot of spelling words.  I got him to do online school every day this week, and at least got the other kids ready to start next week.

I made a gluten free banana bread and ate the whole thing. I went to the grocery store twice. I cooked most nights....except for one night of take out (plus, I think I'm doing take out tonight too).  We're doing our part to help restaurants!

I worked a considerable amount (albeit way, way less than this time last year).  

I called a lot of friends.  Drank a good deal of wine (for medicinal purposes).  Read the book, The World That We Know (by Alice Hoffman...it's great). I watched a little t.v. with John at night--eventually we'll get thru Killing Eve.  I regulated my media, and didn't let too much in.

I finished ordering things for the kids' Easter baskets.  Apparently the Easter Bunny doesn't get a quarantine hiatus, she's still expected to deliver the baskets.  

I did a reasonable amount of housework (not amazing, but respectable amount).  I kept up with the laundry, and that's always a feat unto itself.

I did yoga every day (it's a highlight of every day).

I don't know people, I think that's pretty good actually right?!  I mean, my bar is pretty low right now, but I think I cleared it without any problem.  Overall, pretty stellar week....hope you all feel the same about your first days of April. 

Signed, ME {lv}

Pet Peeves, Learning New Things & Perspective

I've got a lot of "mom pet peeves", but probably my biggest is when the kids call out "mom, come here"...and I respond "what is it?" and they respond, "just come here".  Then we go round and round....me: "no, tell me what you need first", them: "I just need you, it's an emergency".  From experience I know, it's not an emergency.  If they can stop the flow of blood with a bandaid, definitely not an emergency.

Me: "if it's important tell me what it is?" them: "no, just come here, HURRRRYYYYY".   Me: "I'm not coming unless you tell me what you want."   Them:  "mom you have to come NOW, just come, I can't explain it." Sometimes all they "can't explain" is that they spilled smoothie on their bed even though they aren't suppose to have smoothies in their bedrooms.  This interchange, happens via shouting from different rooms or different floors of the house, OR via text, which is especially annoying....and it happens ALL the time.

I haven't figured out how to eliminate this type of interchange.  It seems like it should be easy enough, but somehow it keeps happening.  And no, it's not like I actually "jump to" and validate their request by ultimately going to see what they want in person.  I don't (at least anymore).  However, that doesn't seem to dissuade them from doing it again, and again, and again.  Just saying, it's annoying, and because they are home ALL the time now, it seems to happen ALL the time.  

On another note, I learned today that "mantra" is a Sanskrit word that means "instrument of thought".  Just in case you didn't know that either, now you know.  Cool right?  

It was yet another weird weather day today here, with bursts of sunshine and brilliant blue skies (note the cherry blossom tree in my flower of the day pic--it looked like an enormous pink cloud it was so beautiful, especially against the intense blue sky).  It went from bright and sunny, to windy and rainy within the span of a walk, and dang, it was COLD when the sun disappeared.  It was a reminder that yes, Spring is here and Summer is going to come soon but, it's definitely still quite chilly.

Lastly, I woke up this morning, and stuck with my routine of sun salutations and media restrictions.  I allow myself to read a choice few articles each morning.  One such article was from New York Times (I tried to go back and find it on my news feed but couldn't), and it was editorial on why we should stop trying to be so productive during quarantine.  The upshot was that we should stop pressuring ourselves to try to be super productive and "get lots done" during this time and just give ourselves a break. Dealing with the basics is a lot right now. Maintaining a semblance of a routine (that is new, that you had to come up with on the fly), keeping your spirits up, and picking a couple of things to do is plenty. Trying to learn a language or paint the entire inside of your house, well, that might just be too much pressure.  Luckily I was never planning on doing anything quite that grand in scale, but I like the overall perspective which was to remind us to be gentle with ourselves and our expectations during this time.  There's a fine line between being motivated to do things that are good for you and you will feel good doing, and then pressuring yourself and feeling guilty for not doing stuff constantly.  So I'm not going to cross the line, and I'm going to remind myself that there is no pressure.

OH, and my water intake yesterday...well, I did get to 64 ounces, but I told Amanda that any ounces after that would be in the form of grape water (aka, wine).  Today, I did slightly better, I'd say a solid 72 ounces, which is progress.  Not sure I can reach the 100 ounces goal, but I'm at least sticking with a minimum of 64.  I also made a cabbage and apple slaw to utilize the two kinds of cabbage that came in my boxes over the last couple of weeks.  As a side note, cabbage lasts forever.  I was sort of hoping it would have gone bad so I was off the hook, but no, it was still super fresh looking.  Anyway, I made a good slaw with purple and green cabbage and a diced apple, and then used some vegan slaw dressing that was quite tasty.  I don't think any of the kids liked it, but I ate a ton so at least I stuck with my veggie goal. 

Starting to get excited....Siganka is officially on the horizon, and that will bring some clothing sunshine our way!  My Siganka pieces that I wore last spring/summer got SO much use it was ridiculous!!

Happy Friday!

Signed, ME {lv}

Little Things & Leeks

If it's one thing yoga has taught me since I began the practice, it's that you have to honor where you're at.  Some days you bust out of the gate with enthusiasm, other days you simply don't.  There's no judgment either way (or so the practice goes), you accept where you are, and honor that place.  Not an easy thing to do, but at least thru the practice I'm now willing to look at how I'm feeling, acknowledge it with honesty, and then I struggle to not judge it (still very hard for me).  

Today I didn't jump out of bed with the same enthusiasm as I had hoped to.  I was more enthusiastic on 3/31 for the start of April, then it turns out I actually WAS on 4/1.  It's ok though, these are rough times all around, and we strive to move forward but we accept that sometimes it's by millimeters. 

On a bright note though, I drank 32 ounces of water before 11 a.m. and that felt like a little accomplishment right there.  I'm shooting for a second 32 ounces before 3 p.m.  It's such a silly thing, I'm not sure WHY it's so hard for me to drink water, but it just is.  I know it's so good for me though, and it's an easy enough thing to change (and I need things I can control and change right now that are positive for me). Don't we all?

My second goal for this week is to eat more greens on a daily basis.  I have this damn organic farm box that comes every Friday and I've tried to get on board with cooking more of the greens, but truth be told I had to throw out two lifeless and limp bunches of greens last week.  Shame on me.  So, this should be an easy goal (theoretically) and I can control it (I sure have the time), plus it's really good for us.  So to that end, I looked up recipes for leeks.  I've only ever cooked leeks with potatoes in a soup.  That's it, that's my leek experience.  I've eaten plenty, but it's always been prepared by chiefs far more creative than myself.

Here's the recipe I made, Chickpeas With Leeks & Lemons, it was pretty darn tasty.  I happen to have a lot of canned chickpeas for some reason so this was perfect.  I think part of my barrier to cooking more greens thing is that I fear the kids won't eat it and it'll just be me.  The truth is at least 2 of the kids are pretty adventuresome green eaters, and 2 out of 4 is the best odds I can hope for in cooking anything for them, green or otherwise.  So, add extra greens to my challenge this week, we might as well round out the healthy stuff.

My highlight today was a comment Romeo made.  We had gone on our daily spelling walk.  It was rainy and cold, and he was under dressed as usual (shorts, teeshirt and a sleeveless vest).  He was carrying a kid's umbrella in one hand, and trying to control Milo in the other hand (which is no easy feat because Milo's pre- quarantine weight was probably 95 lbs, and despite the extra walks, it's probably now 100 lbs).  The dog is CHUNK-Y.  Anyway, it was wet, I'm trying to quiz him on flashcards, we are both cold, and so we came back home and Romeo declared he's "taking a shower."  I come upstairs 30 minutes later and Romeo says to me with all the earnesty and sweetness that only a 9 year old boy can have, "that was the BEST shower ever, it was so nice I can't believe how nice it was."  It was such a simple thing, a shower, but his appreciation for it was so deep in that moment, and so happy.  The tone of his voice had so much gratitude for having that wonderful, simple shower.

I tried to grab some of that gratitude during the rest of my day, and appreciate the simple little things, like my lemon and ginger tea, and my fuzzy socks that I put on when my feet got cold.  

Every day, we do what we can do, no matter how simple or little, and we appreciate how lucky we are to do it.  That's my mantra to myself.  That's our mantra in our business.  

I'm ok with the fact that I was the tortoise today, not the hare.  Tomorrow, we shall see (maybe all the water and extra greens will give me superpowers).  

Signed, ME {lv}

Hysterical Video, First Day Of Water & Window of Opportunity

I don't want to jump ahead, but Amanda's water challenge is HARD.  We decided that we needed to set a list of goals and challenges we wanted to meet each week in April.  Amanda has been talking about her increased water consumption for a couple of weeks (her lemon water specifically), and I've half listened.  I did notice however, how BAD I am at drinking water.  I just never do.  Then I read if you aren't going to the bathroom at least once an hour, you aren't drinking enough water.  Uh-oh, not good news for me.  I've also noticed my skin is dry, even with my bad ass Augustinus Bader moisturizer which is the mother of all heavy moisturizing creams.  Maybe I need to drink water?

So Amanda's challenge/goal for the first week of April (to get us all in on her new healthy habit) is to drink 100 ounces of water  a day.  I started today, filled up a carafe that was 32 ounces, and set it on my desk.  By 3 p.m. I had drank one full carafe, but that meant two more to go??  Seems impossible.  So then I googled what a safe amount of water to drink was, just in case Amanda was trying to do us in.  I found conflicting data, everywhere from 64 ounces to 100 ounces.  She's at the top of her game clearly. I'm not going to get plumped hydrated skin and increased mental performance (yes, I actually read that) unless I step up my game too. Sign up to do these challenges with us, we're going to be each other's cheer leaders, and we get treats at the end!

I started the challenge on the last day of March as a test run, and I only got to about 68-70 ounces of water.  Tomorrow I'll try for 75, but honestly today was tough enough.  I told Amanda it felt like I was being waterboarded.  Too. Much. Water.  She said that it does feel like a lot in the beginning but that when she drinks the full amount she feels less irritated, less hungry, less bloated, and has less headaches.  Jury is out for me but I'm going to stick to the goal.

I also am going to post this hysterical video (NY Post Video) for anyone out there dealing with online learning for their kids.  It pretty much sums up the experience.  For the last two weeks our high school has been saying they were going to issue assignments but basically they wouldn't be graded or counted.  To which the response from the teens was pretty predictable,  "Yeah, right, sure we'll do them" (insert smirk).  Just found out this morning though that they will start REAL graded lessons on 4/13, so that's progress.  Romeo is knee deep in Time4Learning online, and Gia has online meetings each day with her class but so far they are just talking about feelings and introducing house pets.  Not sure when the "real work" will start. Once it all starts I imagine the above video will sum up all my feelings.

I'm excited for this month, and seizing the day.  Today was a random mix of beautiful bursts of sunshine and then crazy rain (and even hail).  I missed several opportunities to take walks in the sun, and got stuck in the rain.  I am treating it as a reminder that we need to grab what we can from life as we can.  Moments of sunshine, of laughter, of fun.  Yes, I realize that sounds a little "Deep Thoughts" from retro Saturday Night Live
episodes, but it's also true right?  On my daily walk with Romeo we snapped this pic of a beautiful flower and we're finding a new one each day to appreciate because after all, it's one of the best things about April, all the beautiful blooms bursting forth!

I will end with one note. The water drinking thing...It really has to all happen before 6 p.m. because all I know is I'll be getting up to go to the bathroom all night.  Is that an age thing?  Or did I have too many kids and ruin my blatter?  Don't know, all I know is that I have another 50 ounces to drink in an hour and a half.  Is that even safe?  Can't you die from too much water? 

Here's to hoping I make it.

Signed, ME {lv}

ps.  I plan to come out of this quarantine with all kinds of things done, muscles strengthened, and good habits cemented down.  I will however, also be coming out of quarantine with some BAD hair.  Serious roots, split ends, bad highlights.  It's not going to be pretty.  Until then, it's hair ties, clips, scrunchies, hats, and hair masks.  You do what you can with what you have.

New Favorite Quote, Fruit Crisp & Real Big Problem

“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”  Pema Chödrön

That quote came from my yoga class this morning and I love it.  It's a variation of Amor Fati, the love of one's fate, and accepting everything in life--good and bad-as part of your miraculous life.   Acceptance vs. resistance because you know it all has to be there. Part of what lifts me up when I have tough days is just the reminder that you have to have space to accept it all, not only the good stuff, but the incredibly difficult stuff too.   I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again, I'm so grateful for yoga.  I continue to do my 10 sun salutations each morning and I think it really IS changing my life just a bit

I also made a glorious fruit crisp today (apple and rhubarb which I randomly saw at the grocery store and decided to grab--I use to have it a lot as a child).  I made it vegan and gluten free, but it tastes great so I don't think it's going to keep my family members from eating it which is a bummer.  Usually all I have to say is "it's gluten free and vegan" and they clear out, but this turned out TAAAA-sty.  I felt like getting dressed and making a fruit crisp qualifies me as having a very productive today.

But here's the REAL catastrophe that gripped my children today.  Around 5:30 p.m., as we were cooking dinner, the electricity went off.  John and I were in the kitchen together and used our phones to check the utility website to confirm indeed, there was a power outage to 3200 people and estimated time of fix was 8:30 p.m.  Within minutes the kids realized that they had no internet, so it was like consecutive screams of terror.  Apparently school being closed, us being quarantined, no contact with friends or grandparents...none of that scared them like this.  You would literally think the zombie apocalypse WAS starting from their exaggerated, "wwwwhhhhhatttttt IS hhhhaaappppppeeennnnniinnnnnng????!!!!"  

I had some very concerning questions asked during this time that made me think I needed to start home schooling asap..."does the t.v. still work?"  was one such question. We were without power for exactly 1 hour and 15 minutes and it was as close to a crisis as we've been in a LONG time.  When it went back on it was like they had been provided food after not eating for two weeks.  

Note to self, make sure my kids have a little perspective and that we schedule an electricity free weekend in nature this summer.  Actually, that sounds horrible.  Scratch that.  Instead, note to self.....buy back up generator. 

Signed, ME {lv}

Binge Watching & Green Overload

It's been awhile since I've really watched any show that was interesting enough to warrant binge watching with my limited time.  But let's face it, most of us have a bit more time on our hands so binge watching something sounds a lot more attractive.  John and I started "Killing Eve" a few nights ago and that's pretty entertaining.  Dark and violent, but entertaining and interesting.  I think the last thing we watched before that was "The Stranger" which was also a good one season show (sort of like a lot of those True Detective type series that carry the storyline just one season).  Curious to see what other people are watching so I can make a list!

Today was a genuinely boring Saturday, which in normal times would feel luxurious and wonderful.   Now it felt a little disconcerting to be honest.  I slept horribly last night and had the worst nightmare ever.  I dreamt that John, after 25 years of marriage (we are actually. about to celebrate our 25th anniversary), announced that he wanted a divorce because he decided he was going to run off with someone.  Anyway, it was horrible because in my dream I was devastated, and so genuinely distraught that I was exhausted when I woke up.

The other thing that broke up my sleep was Ava who walked into our room at 3 a.m. and in a regular, loud and unapologetic voice declared we needed to "take her to the hospital IMMEDIATELY".  Now, if it was anyone else I would have bolted out of bed and been putting my clothes on before they uttered another word, but because it was Ava I stayed in bed and calmly replied, "I doubt it, what's up".  Well, she was convinced that between the hours of 11 p.m. and 3 a.m. her appendix had gone from just fine to infected and about to burst.   No joke.  Her side hurt and according to her it was gravely serious.  We told her she just had gas and to go back to bed and wake us up if she was still in unbelievable pain in two hours.  Ava has John's hypochondriac gene, and she's super, SUPER dramatic.  Any issue, and she's near death...until something distracts her and then she's perfectly fine.  She slept until 11 a.m. and when I saw her in the kitchen I asked her how her side was and her relpy was, "oh fine, the infection went away".   She's crazy.

Besides doing my yoga class (and yes, I'm maintaining my first thing in the morning sun salutations. and media hold off), we went on a walk, read (started a new book "American Dirt"), did a little work, texted people, and looked up recipes for all the greens I have from my organic delivery box.  They  are starting to pile up and I've got to move into double speed to try and find recipes for things like chard, and collard greens (which I just rarely cook).  If you open my. fridge it's like an explosion of veggies.  That's probably why the kids keep complaining that there is no food.  The only bad deal is that these farm veggies wilt and get unhappy looking real fast, so it's a race to find ways to use them while they are looking spry.

Tonight I used a bunch of my very weird looking kale (some variety that I just don't see often), and I sauteed it with onions, garlic, then added white beans, diced tomatoes, Italian seasonings, salt & pepper and it was GOOD.  I feel like I'm doing an unnatural amount of eating right now.  I'm trying to chalk it up to healthy and somehow a little anti-viral protection.  

Signed, ME {lv}

Running Like A Grandma & New Rituals

Milo and I watched the sunrise this morning.  That was a nice start to the day, and  less stressful than reading the news.  Highly recommend this.

Personally I think the key to navigating any change is to set up routines, and real quick.  John and I have self-induced so many big changes in the last 10 years that we've become pretty good at it.  I think at one point I counted 7 house moves, one state move, different schools, lots of extended traveling (culture shock is a tough change for kids)...the list goes on.  All of those things disrupt your routine, and the result is always predictable with kids (and adults for that matter).  You feel uncomfortable, you don't like it, you feel grumpy, uneasy, angry, sad, and sometimes physically ill.  It's textbook every time.  We crave predictability and routine.

So the writing was on the wall that this change with covid-19 that we are currently dealing with would be no different.  The kids have gone thru all stages for sure, and I've seen them in myself too.  We have all been thrown into a new routine, or rather, our OLD routines were all ripped away from us so we were spinning without routines.  No school, no work, no dinner out Friday, no social events....the list goes on.  

So, my big push this week has been to try and stick to the old routines that I could stick with (family dinner, tulips on the front table, etc.), and establish some new ones.  It doesn't take very long to get new habits going, and it always amazes me how easily the kids will get in the new flow.  

So my new routines for me include my 10 sun salutations each morning, and then an online yoga class.  Then we are making breakfast.  Romeo and I take a walk late morning with the dog, and practice spelling and math problems.   Then it's music practice time, then Gia bakes something in the afternoon.   Nothing monumental, but I've noticed how quick they are grabbing on to the new rituals--they are like life preservers.

Today Ava decided she wanted to go on a run, and she tried to recruit Lucia who wouldn't go, so she begged me and despite it being the LAST thing I actually felt like doing, I did it.  Two minutes into the run Ava turns to me and says, "are you going to run like a grandma the whole time?"  Nothing like a little teen shaming to force you to run faster.   I think I might have shin splints for weeks now.  Ava never works out, and she still seemed unphased by the spur of the moment run.  It wore me out though and I think my big toe is dislocated.  Super irritating.

I will also just say, that despite setting up a new schedule/routine and recognizing how important that is, I really miss my old one.  I grieved it a little today to be honest.  Maybe even more than a little.  I miss you old life, I miss you bad....can't wait to get back to you.

Hope everyone made it thru the week.  Curious to see what what new routines everyone is establishing that is
 working for them.  I'm tossing up this picture that John took at a restaurant last week because it really is pretty funny (and not funny at the same time I guess).  It made me laugh though!  TP rolls $500, and one pump of hand sanitizer for $300. Cheeky.  

Signed, ME {lv}

The Good Things Around Us

In my ongoing efforts to think positively and not get pulled down to the depths with the current state of affairs, I tried some strategic things today.  One, I started my day with my 10 sun salutations and no media afterward for 45 minutes.  This was day #2 and I think this might be the ticket for me....starting out the day without being bombarded first thing.  Much better foundation for the day.

Then I had my latte, and then I did a yoga class online.  Again, that was a pretty good centering thing for me and was better than doing it late in the day I think. It fortified me and gave me strength.

The kids and I took the dog on a walk, and I enjoyed the outdoors for a brief time, and also enjoyed the heart warming signs of togetherness I saw.  I know that this is an incredibly isolating time for many people who might live alone, and my heart breaks for everyone that feels that way right now.  For other people it's a frustrating time because you are now forced to spend SO much time together in a confined space with little to do, BUT on the flip side, it also gives people the time and bandwidth to connect.  I saw, on a Thursday mid-morning mind you, a family taking a walk together, and I saw parents engaged in activities with their kids that ordinarily might take back seat because of time constraints (or jobs of course).  Don't get me wrong, I want job back, but all we can do is enjoy what we do have.

Everyone I saw was keeping a very safe distance from other people, there weren't the groups of young people that I've heard rumor of (although I'm sure that's happening somewhere near me).  What I saw was just a sense of timelessness that really only comes with a shut down like this where there are simply less options, less things to do.  There are no restaurants.  There are no stores to go to.  There are only so many groceries you can buy.  We're all getting our fill of screen time, and there are still a lot of hours in the day to do meandering and unrushed things.  I can't honestly remember the last time I walked the dog with absolutely no agenda afterwards, or set things I have to do.  Romeo and I do it daily, but usually it's after I pick him up from school, and before I pick up his sisters where we have a tight little window of about 35 minutes.   Today we strolled along, me trying to stump him with spelling words, and him content to prep for the imaginary spelling bee.  I did this in attempts to outweigh hours of Fortnite video games by the way

Anyway, I guess my point is that as much as this entire situation is beyond scary in every way (and unwanted in every way), all we can do is take one day at a time, and find beauty in the simple things that ARE happening.  I might not have a store operating right now and all the stresses of that can stack up nice and tall, but what we do have are wonderful emails from friends and customers, little notes, or even just seeing a name of someone we know and love on a web order makes us happy.  It's not about anything more than being happy for what we have, and the wonderful people we know and the time we get with the people we love.  

Plus, I will also just note that Ava & Lucia have been in sister-fighting mode for months.  It's been bad.  They fight over clothes, over friends.  Pretty much anything (this is the problem with same sex siblings too close in age).  Anyway, the silver lining of this quarantine is that they are so, SO, so bored that they are starting to talk and laugh together again.  Desperate for friend time, they are learning to be friends again.  Silver linings.

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Digging Deep, Currents & Boats

Now that I've got all kinds of time to cook and to deep clean, I can think of nothing else that I'd like to do less. Why is that?  I was desperate for few hours just a couple of weeks ago so I could continue my spring cleaning mission and now that I can do it I'm feeling too depleted.  Two weeks ago I distinctly remember complaining about how FAST the weeks were flying by.  I blinked and it was Friday...AGAIN, and again.  It's been two days since the kids officially were let off school, one day since the store shut to the public, and if you told me it had been month, I'd say, "feels about right".  Time is dragging by so. so. slowly.  

But today I tried to be positive.  The reality is, the kids are officially off school 6 weeks.  We're all on lock down for realistically 2-6 weeks.  It feels like an eternity.  It does genuinely feels that way, but in reality it isn't.  I'm not saying it won't feel painstakingly slow, but big picture, it's not that long.  Other good news is that this is an election year, which means there is a lot of pressure on the government to get this economy jumpstarted as soon as the virus is under control.  It will happen.  Third good thing is that there are some incredible doctors spread out over this entire globe that are working tirelessly to come up with an anti-viral and a vaccine.  It will happen, anti-viral trials are already underway for whats seemed to work so far.  There are too many smart people working on it for it not to happen quickly.  Fear & panic is the problem,

So those were the positives I tried to focus on.  I also did an online yoga class, which was better than I thought because my favorite guy was teaching it. That made me happy.  His whole theme of the class was "get to know yourself".  I had to actively push out the voice in my head that started out by saying, "I know myself, I'm a basket case who is literally flipping out that her kids are off school for 6 weeks and I can't go to yoga".  I pulled myself together and tamed my monkey mind at least a little.

I went on a walk with John, and we came across this marquee which I thought was fitting, it read "Same Current, Different Boats".  That sums it up.  I also read later on some other billboard. the phrase, "focus on what you can control" which I thought was pretty fitting too.  Yes, we can only focus on what we can control, and let go of things out of our control.  

On a final note, Gia was saying today she was super scared (and it had nothing to do with the coronavirus, it had to do with some scary movie preview she saw), and Romeo told her, "I don't get scared anymore from things, I just think about unicorns when I get scared and then I'm not scared."  Unicorns?  Yep, apparently they protect you from being scared.  So here's to visions of unicorns.

Today we're doing a deep discount on gifts...mostly because it seems like a swell time to buy someone a gift, AND it also seems like a swell time to buy yourself a gift.  Show some love, because we all need it.

Signed, ME {lv}

 

 

 

A Day In The Life

The new normal....

Wake up too early to get up, check the news, get depressed, stop reading it.  Try to go back to sleep. Can't because of said depressing news.  Get out of bed for real, and make a happy collagen latte (hoping it enhances my super immune system so I don't get the CV).

Clean up the kitchen after the kids tornado thru for breakfast.  Cheerios everywhere and evidence they ate every strawberry in the house. 

Exercise, which now consists of giving myself a yoga class which is far less peaceful than going to a yoga class. I cheat in poses much more and I can't get myself to relax.

Force the kids to go on a walk with me.  Gia tells me bees pee out of their stingers.  I believe her for about 3 solid minutes because my brain is filled with coronavirus stress.

Go home, work a bit, get more stressed when I learn that Melange is going to close for at least two weeks.  Stop working and go online to buy some more vitamins--again to super-immune-system my body up.

Decide that the kids have once again eaten thru half the food, so head to grocery store where I likely will get coronavirus, ebola, hep C and god knows what else because it is packed beyond capacity with some people with very questionable health.  

Go home, unpack groceries.  Encourage the kids to make a list of things they "need" to do during the day (like practice music, do math, read, clean room).  Hear entirely too much whining and run out of energy to stand my ground.  That's on my list for tomorrow, for sure.

Do laundry, get irritated that Lucia uses 4 towels each time she showers and hangs up none of them, but instead throws them into the dirty laundry.  Spend too much time being irritated and folding clothes.

Stop and take 5 deep breaths, it helps.

Call my friend.  Text three others.  It also helps.

Decide that there is no way I can spend the entire next 2-3 weeks of this new schedule in sweats and a tee, I'll lose it.  Vow to make myself more presentable tomorrow even if I don't leave the house.

Gia makes breadsticks. She's used all the butter, most of the flour and a lot of sugar in the last 3 days (two cakes, brownies and now breadsticks).  It's messy, lots of ingredients get wasted, there are 5 million questions and I try to be super patient but it's tough. She just wants me to bake with her but I have a hard time pulling myself out of my news stupor which I later feel bad about.  I know the kids need things to do to stay entertained, but...ugh.

Find out John's work is officially stopping travel and everyone is working from home.  Also find out the governor closed restaurants and bars temporarily.  John's visibly depressed about not being able to eat out (the highlight of his days, literally).  We're bickering constantly about the state of the world and I wonder if we're gong to kill each other during this "work from home period".  I'm betting yes.  We could have a corona-casualty divorce.

Bars are slated to close tomorrow, so John and I take 45 minutes to go down the street in a patently socially irresponsible move before the official close of bars and restaurants.  The restaurants and bars will be closed for our 25th wedding anniversary so it feels like we deserve to take advantage of this last opportunity.  Whiskey was awesome, I can't lie.  John ordered a Penicillin, the healthy whisky drink version guaranteed to keep you well.  John leaves the bartender a fat tip because it's his last shift for quite awhile.

Overall, not my best day at managing my mood or stress.  The state of things is going to bring ups and downs, and I guess we have to be able to roll with it.  I am going to follow my own advice and try to find something to hold on to that feels normal.  My favorite candle, cozy pj's, my face moisturizer that I love, maybe my favorite funny movie tonight (which is Horrible Bosses FYI).   It's up to us to lead the way for everyone around us (our kids, our partners, our friends)....to set the tone, to try and be generous with our kindness, and ease up with our stress.  I don't pretend I can do it every day, but I'm really going to try (and definitely try harder tomorrow).

Now's a good time to send your favorite people cards and little treats, because we're all going to need our moods lifted a bit, so why not be the bringer of joy?  Seems like a good move to me since there isn't all that much we can do, except be careful, be kind and be supportive.

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Bake Off & Hand Moisturizer

It's been less than two weeks since I've adopted obsessive hand washing and hand sanitizer and my hands are officially RAW.  They also look like the hands of a person 50 years older--dry and very unattractive. Small issue in the scheme of things, but I will say, it calls for good hand lotion.  I've now tried both the Elizabeth W. and the Nash & Jones and I do love both.   Elizabeth W. wasn't Amanda's favorite because it's very scented (but I actually really liked the scents so I was good with that).  We are about to get in another line called Féret Parfumeur and I can't wait because it's supposed to be amazing.  Stay tuned, we're gong to need this (it arrives Wednesday).

Today felt long, and I know I wasn't alone.  The days ahead seem like they are going to be impossibly long don't they?  The kids being off school for the next 3 (and maybe more) weeks seems mind blowingly long.  I'm really trying to take deep breaths and just set up routines and a sense of normalcy.  I forced myself to turn off the news today (which honestly was hard), but once I did I felt someone normal again within a couple of hours.    We can't lose our sense of balance thru all of this, because it's unhealthy on all levels.

So I cooked today (fennel and potato soup), and Gia baked a cake.  I let Romeo watch too many video games. We lounged, and ran a couple of errands but stayed out of big and crowded establishments.  Gia is a huge baker.  Yesterday she made brownies, today the cake from scratch, complete with butter cream frosting.  The kitchen was a disaster, but she had fun.

So maybe the answer during this really stressful and trying time is to just try and enjoy some simple things.  We can't stop being worried to death about the health of our loved ones, our jobs, or our livelihood.  There are so many wonderful perks about owning a small business, but during times like this it feels like the heaviest of burdens because there is no net, and there is so much responsibility.  Couple that with SO much unknown.  It's the definition of stress.

Yet we can't let ourselves get consumed with the stress because so much of this situation is beyond our control and we just have to come to peace with that.  So enjoy the things you can, and balance out the stress that we all will be feeling.  Who doesn't love to eat cake right?   Get fresh air, visit friends from a safe distance, smile and remind yourself it will be o.k.

Signed, ME {lv}

My Interview, Classic Black & Mean Teen

So today I had my interview for a clinical psychology masters program that I am trying to get into for the Fall.  I haven't talked about it much, but now that the application process and interview is over, it is what it is and I feel like I can talk about it without making myself more nervous.  

First off, I was afraid that I would be the oldest one there (it was a group interview plus individual interview).  In fact, that fear was totally unfounded because there were ALL different ages, and a really diverse group of people wanting to do the program.  Some straight out of college, some older who had other masters in other areas that would pair well with the clinical psychology.   I went into the day feeling particularly self conscious about being "older", especially since Ava was being a mean teen the other night and told me I was old and wrinkled.  Just plain mean right?  I have a friend who later texted me that night complaining about her teen daughter and how they had fought and her daughter called her the "B" word, and how angry my friend was.  I told her what Ava said and how I might have actually preferred the 'B" word because now I was just feeling self conscious and NOT ready for my interview.   See, if I was already a psychologist maybe I wouldn't be so bothered by what my super rude teen said, but alas, I'm still a hot mess and my vanity is bruised.

Anyway, I will start by saying that I wore classic black trousers, white button down shirt (thanks Anni Kuan), and a black Margaret O'Leary cardigan.  I cut the boring outfit up a bit with my very cool python heels, but overall I was classic and understated.  I was trying not to be "too" dressed, but still professional.  People were largely under dressed (or poorly dressed) or both.  Super nice group of people, but it was a reminder that if you dress well, you almost always stand out because so many people do not.

The interview consisted of all kinds of things including a small group analysis of a movie we watched before we arrived, 30 minutes of of essay writing, a role play exercise and an exercise where you discussed a personal object that meant something to you in front of a group (the whole process was 3 hours).  

The role play exercise was seriously fun.  You and a random partner sat in front of a professor, one person was the client, one person was the therapist.  There were different scenarios, and you chose one and then role played for 5 minutes.  The easiest one for me was being the client who was a mother with an 18 year old daughter who was super headstrong who fell in love and was getting married despite the mother trying to convince her otherwise. It was FUN, I should have done more theater in college.  Then I got to be the therapist to a teen who was too embarrassed to get an educational evaluation for her learning disability.  Again, pretty fun stuff.  Maybe I should have just been an actress that PLAYED a therapist?

Anyway, the rest of the interview went fine, including the individual portion with a professor who started by asking the obvious question, "why do you want to be a therapist."  Uhhhmmmmm???  Can the answer be that I have a lot of my own emotional problems so I can relate to other people and maybe can learn to help them (and/or myself)??  I didn't quite say that, don't worry.  

I'm excited it's done.  It's been a long day that also included a hot yoga class and a visit to my OB who basically told me that what I thought were "hot flashes" were in fact NOT hot flashes and more a situational issue (i.e., my bedroom was just too hot).  I wanted the 411 on bio-identical and other pre-menopause assistance.  She basically told me to slow my roll, my test results said I'm not there yet, the test results show all normal hormones.  What she didn't quite say (but I know she was thinking it) was that my anxiety about what was going to happen centered around getting older in general and I just needed to learn to embrace it because nothing was going to stop the clock).  It's like she knew that my night stand was filled with anti-aging books and life extending reads.

Wednesday's mystery flash sale on Velvet day....because it's fun, and Wednesday deserves to be a little fun right?  code: mystery

Signed, ME {LV}

 

 

 

Pant Vents, Coronavirus Tag & Spring Weather

When you think of a 9 year old boy, you don’t think of style.  You think jeans and a tee-shirt, probably both dirty.  However, they are in fact very particular about WHAT they wear even when it wouldn't appear so.  Romeo currently only wears shorts and tee-shirts to school, the fact that it’s still 40 degrees when I drop him off makes no difference.  So I bought him a new pair of athletic shorts yesterday.  They are heather grey, with a drawstring/elastic waist.  As plain as plain can be really—no emblems, no weird colors.  I was just about to rip off the tags and wash them when he declares, “nope, don’t like them”. Uhm, why exactly?  Because they have a small vent on each side of the leg. That’s right, a small 1” vent on the outside of the leg is the “style deal breaker” for my 9 year old.  How quirky is that?

I also heard today from my friend who works at a school that the new game at recess is “coronavirus tag”. Leave it to kids to find a fun twist on a stressful virus.  Romeo declared that he’d be fine if “a bully at my school got sick with coronavirus because then they’d close down the school for a week.”  He clarified that he didn’t want anyone nice, or  in his class, OR his teacher to get sick though, but apparently he’s fine sacrificing the unnamed bully in the school for some much desired “no school days”.

Virus anxieties aside, it’s officially super springy outside here.  The weather has been so good, still cold in the morning but warming up above 50 degrees during the day which doesn't sound all that warm as I type it but somehow in the sun it feels warmer (or at least feels like the promise of warmer).  It has been bright and cheery outside, there are cherry blossoms, daffodils and budding flowers everything.  It’s awesome.   I have already spring cleaned thru my current closet, but this weekend I will officially pull all my winter clothes out of my closet and pack all of them away, it’s time! I’ve managed to wash a lot of my cashmere sweaters (it feels so great when you hand wash them vs. dry clean, the cashmere feels SO soft), and now I’m going to layer some Meyer dryer sheets between the sweaters, and put them into plastic storage bins.  Bye-bye heavy winter sweaters….miss you until next year!  Also time to say hello to Spring clothes!  

Signed, ME {lv}

Jumping to Conclusions, Sabotaged Yoga & Costco Mania

This is my daily reminder to myself to NOT make assumptions.  We all do it constantly, and sometimes it’s just utilitarian and necessary.  Sometimes it’s unfair and counter-productive.  I do it a lot with my older girls.  I got my undies all in a wad this morning when I couldn’t find a shirt I wanted to wear.  I was ready to tear into someone for stealing it without permission.  I had my finger on the trigger the second I realized the shirt wasn’t there.  To be fair, I’m not entirely crazy, they have stolen MANY things from me (their version is that it was “borrowed”), and it’s been a lot more than once that I’ve found things crumbled up on their bedroom floor.  Once Lucia even CUT a shirt of mine (cropping shirts is a big thing with teens and her excuse was that I never wear it).

Anyway, I was about to hit the fan this morning, angry energy was pouring out every pore of my body….and then I found the shirt, in the place I had put it away, and then forgotten I had put it away there (only to remember when I actually found it).  OOOOOHHHHH, yeah.

My point is this...Get your finger off the trigger, don't jump to conclusions.

My morning yoga class was sabotaged because I forgot to leave my door unlocked.   It’s house cleaning day, my one day where I get to enjoy a few hours of a clean house before the minors ravish it again.  It’s basically my favorite day.  I am suppose to leave the door unlocked, and even though I remembered everything else this morning and had plenty of time to finish the laundry, write their check, pick up all over the house (basically do a mini-clean before the deep clean), somehow I forgot the most important part. I know, first world problem, but still a bummer. 

So 5 minutes into the class my watch vibrates, and I can see it’s the cleaning service, and instantly I remember that I had forgotten.  I was so mad at myself!  Why is it that I have to literally write everything down or I forgot?  Can I blame it on peramenopause? I had to pack up all my crap and dash because otherwise my window of time would be over and they would write me off.  I get so much joy from yoga, but I DO also really love a clean house….there were clearly conflicting worlds today.

Almost lastly, I had my normal Costco food delivery today (there isn’t a Costco very close to us so I just have it delivered every couple of weeks).  The guy that usually comes is hysterical, with dreadlocks that go past his butt, a big laugh, and he's always full of jokes.  So we got to chatting and he told me stories about the current Costco mania.  Apparently people are stocking up x 10.  Understandably people are nervous, but I didn’t realize quite how bad until he showed me pictures of the line for checkout on Saturday (no joke, it was like a 4 hour line), and the huge cart flats he was filling for orders.  I had ordered garbanzo beans and he informed me there wasn’t a “bean to be had” in all of Costco…and apparently it was a good thing I didn’t need toilet paper either because there was a run on that too.    I’ll say it again, my goal is to NOT freak out despite all the current events.  He told me that he delivered a big flat shopping cart of soda pop to a woman.   No joke, he showed me the cart, and there had to be 50 big things of soda stacked on it, every kind imaginable.  I said it must have been for the woman's restaurant, or a school carnival or SOMETHING other than 'end of the world prep'?  No such luck, he actually asked her, and indeed, she wasn't worried about running out of water, but she was REAL worried about running out of pop.  True story.

Lastly, for real, how cute does Amanda look in in the header picture wearing the new EF (tee, cardigan and scarf)??  Such a cute group!

Signed, ME {lv}

Ear Piercing

There was a time that I was much more conservative as a parent.  When Ava, my oldest, asked to get her ears pierced I made her wait until she was "old enough".  When she asked to get second piercing the answer was, "absolutely NOT."  The same went for hair dye, bikinis and makeup.  

But truthfully, it didn't last long because Ava is, unfortunately or fortunately, an unrelenting child (the CIA could use her interrogation purposes, she's be better than water boarding.)  She wore me down year after year, and I consider myself to be fairly tough.

Fast forward to today.  My second daughter, Lucia, now 15, asked me to give her a second piercing.  Well, not exactly.  She actually GAVE herself a second piercing on one ear, but then came upstairs to ask me to do the second one because it was harder to do the "other ear."  That's right, she pierced the first ear herself, with a long needle, some alcohol and an apple--I didn't even realize she was doing it. Girl has nerves of steel.  When I asked her why she didn't wait and have it done at one of those mall kiosks she said, "you need a parent's permission to do it and it costs like $50."  So apparently she didn't consider asking for my permission, but kudos to her for saving $50.  

So when she came up and asked me to the second ear, I felt obligated to help.  She was one ear in, and clearly not feeling confident about the second hole (and it's tricky to get them even.). She's been a handful lately, so stabbing her thru the ear with a sharp object didn't seem entirely ridiculous. 

So I did it.  It was awful--it goes against your instinct as a parent to actually stab something into your child that isn't for life saving purposes.  It did however bring back a very old memory of a high school party, my best friend, and a similar ear piercing situation (I honestly can't remember if she pierced mine or I did hers--she couldn't' remember either.)  I can recall the orange we used to hold behind the ear, and the wine coolers we were drinking for courage (remember those awful things?), which are probably responsible for our poor memory of the whole thing.

So that's it, I've come full circle from piercing ears in high school, to piercing my own daughters ears. I'll add that to the list of things I never I thought I would do.

Yoga today was good, but the best part really was at the very end when we were just about to say namaste and get out of that hot sweaty room and she said "I see you."  For some reason that phrase really hit me, and stuck with me.  It's what everyone wants, it's universal.  To be seen.  It's funny though, rarely does someone say it out loud like that.  It was lovely I will say.

We had more sun today.  It's official, Spring is almost here!  I finished my closet today, and have my piles of stuff to get rid of.  There were winter pieces that won't make the cut and it's nice because now when I go to put my winter clothes away for good (which will be very soon), I will only be putting away stuff that I know I want for next year.  I'm also methodically going thru and washing my cashmere, de-pilling it and then when I pack it away I'm going to use some of the Meyer's dryer sheets in the plastic bins so that they come out smelling wonderful next winter.  The only thing better than cashmere, is good smelling cashmere.

Signed, ME {lv}

Teary Yoga

I know I talk about yoga a lot, but I can’t help myself.  Today was an intense class.  The instructor is one of my favorites, and she had just come off of an intensive weekend training and she warned us that she was a bit raw.  This is what I love about yoga, it’s so much more than just the poses, it’s really all in your head, that’s where the real work is.

Anyway, she talked about she felt during this training program she attended, which basically amounted to “unworthy”.  It was that feeling of walking into a room and feeling like everyone had a better job, more education, better outfit, prettier, funnier….basically that everyone is out of your league.  Who hasn’t felt that way?  Part of the training during the weekend was to tap into what was holding you back, what made you feel unaccepted, or unworthy.  She shared a memory of her father (who died suddenly when she was in her teens), and how he had come to a diving meet (after rarely ever coming) and said, “I just thought you’d be better by now.”  So part of her cathartic weekend, was coming to accept herself, and her father’s limitations, and forgiveness. All in order to move thru them and keep them from holding her back or being the excuse that held her back.  As she was telling her memory of her father she broke into tears.  It was such a vulnerable moment for her, and she was willing to share it with everyone. Another reason I love yoga.

She quoted someone…I think it was Eckhart Tolle, who said, “First there must be acceptance. Then you can begin.” All the things (insert people, circumstances etc.) that hold you back, are things you haven’t fully accepted yet. 

She went on to teach a hard ass class….lots and lots of arm work.  Another reason I love yoga.

On a totally other note, my other favorite thing (clothes) deserves a little shout out too.  I just got the Anni Kuan Kite top, and can I just say how great it is??  I think this is such a perfect morphing top….it can morph from day to night, or season to season.  Super cute on too (love the sleeves), and I think it will make a great travel piece. I like that it isn’t black, but it’s not a washed out grey either—it’s that great in-between that manages to still look fresh and not dreary.  It took me a long time to warm up to Anni’s fabrics (I couldn’t get past the fact that they weren’t “all natural”) but I have come to totally trust her ability to find fabrics that feel, wear, drape and wash really, REALLY well.  I’m never disappointed. I have her flight pants in black, but now I know I need them in the grey too because it would be fantastic worn with the top—a lá jumpsuit style. 

I will also say, that I’m enjoying my Child perfume and body cream almost every day.  Last I heard Cammi had totally converted to loving it too.  Initially when I asked her if she liked it she said, “well, it’s not for me really.” The smell changes a lot on your skin, and at first smell from the bottle it can feel a little bold, but softens and mellows so beautifully on the skin.  She now has confirmed she’s completely in love with it too.  I just really adore the small roller ball size, it’s always in my purse and I love that I can dab it on during the day.

Lastly, Romeo wore shorts and a tee shirt today….it probably didn’t get warmer than 52 degrees outside. When we walked the dog in the late afternoon he said, “mommy, I hate to tell you, but I think it’s because you are over 40 that you are cold because I’m always comfortable OR I’m too hot.”  So apparently my advanced age is making me cold. Who knew?   

Cards, Burmese Food & Layering Perfection

I’m currently obsessed with cards.  Real cards that you hold in your hand and stick in the mail with a stamp (remember those things?)  Not ecards, or emoji-cards, or anything electronic. Not to be hating on the modern era, but I really do miss the days when people sent mail, and your mailbox might actually contain something other than junk mail or catalogues.  I get SO excited when I get a card in the mail...which I will tell you right now, is next to never.

We got in a new shipment of All My Layers, which I think are just darling cards, with sweet simple sentiments.  I also love that they are $5 which is totally reasonable (no joke, I went into a fancy paper store the other day and it was $7.95 for a card which just seems excessive.)  I took a moment to send out a card today for a girlfriend just because I missed her (she lives in town but I never see her enough) and I even went to the supermarket to get stamps (there is ONE small supermarket near me that still sells stamps…even my bank doesn’t do it anymore)!   It’s up to our generation to keep this art alive and teach our kids otherwise it’ll be no time before they are baffled by the possibility that something might come in the mailbox that they might have to read.  

I find it fascinating that my teens do ALL of their communicating via snapchat and Instagram stories.  They don’t text, they don’t email.  My 15 year old wasn’t even sure what her email was when I asked her the other day. They don’t use landlines, and they don’t write letters or send cards.  I hate to sound like an old timer, but what is the world coming to?

On a totally other note (and I mean a complete and total pivot), I have recently become obsessed with Burmese food.  Actually, mostly just ONE Burmese dish, and lots of their coconut rice.  It’s a pickled green tea leaf salad and it’s amazing (cabbage, tea leaves, peanuts, some oil and sesame seeds...and other stuff I'm sure.)  I can’t even branch out to order anything different because I’m so obsessed with the salad.  John and I went to lunch today and I ordered the salad and he ordered a curry beef.  She brought this huge salad bowl out, two plates and big serving tongs.  Then I had to inform her that no, I didn’t plan on sharing, and yes, I did plan on eating that thing myself.  And I did. So here’s a nod to Burmese food, which I would have probably never rush to try except my friend served take out from this place at a little impromptu dinner she invited us to.  It was amazing and I was instantly hooked.  What if I hadn’t ever tried it?  I would never have known how delicious it was.  That’s a real argument for trying new things.  I will also note, that I zoned in on this today in yoga too when the teacher specifically said, "today try something you've never tried before, reach for something new."  Side crow here I come.

We got in Lilla P. today, and I know it’s probably the most boring aspect of the group (actually, not probably, it’s most definitely), but the new stretch layering pieces are fantastic. They come in all the usual suspects (black, white and nude) and in a camisole version and the scoop tank version. They are fantastic!  Great length, great stretch fabric, great fit.  These are the perfect foundational pieces I always need and never have handy.   I’ve tried a lot of basics like this, from all kinds of places (including Target, and big box stores), and I’ve been very disappointed overall.   Target actually has a decent tank for sleeping in, but it’s not nice enough to actually wear under something where it might peek out  (like a low cut v-neck or a partially unbuttoned shirt).  These pieces from Lilla P. look super nice, and they wear really well (plus I love that it's primarily cotton.)  There is nothing worse than not having the right layering piece to go under something you have that you want to wear and with all the slightly sheer stuff that comes with spring/summer styles, these are going to be perfect!

One last note....has anyone noticed that it's staying noticeably lighter later?  It's 5:45 p.m. and it's still light outside!!!  That's progress, Spring is definitely coming!

Signed, ME {lv} 

So Much Love We Could Burst

This time, I really am keeping this short and sweet.  I just want to express a little love, since it's love day after all.  

Love for my kids, who keep me laughing and pulling my hair out on a regular basis. I had to pick Lucia up at the high school in the middle of the day, and drive her home to poop in her own bathroom because she simple could not do it at the high school.  Seriously, if that's not funny (and extremely inconvenient and annoying), I'm not sure what is.

Love for John who's unflappable peace of mind and goofy humor allow me to keep a good perspective.  25 years together and I'm not sick of him yet, which seems like a good sign.

Love for myself.  Yep, that's right.  Myself.  I can finally say at age 31....ok, I mean 48, that I love myself, and I've done a pretty good job of letting go of the self loathing of my youth.  Self love is so important, it's the foundation for everything we can and will love in the world.  

Love for yoga, which is one of my favorite things to do in the world. I'm so lucky to have found it and I know how cheesy that sounds, but it's also so true.  It's changed my life.

Love for Melange and all the amazing people I've met over all the years (nearly 20 if you you can believe).  I feel so lucky to have had so many amazing women touch my life thru this job.  It blows my mind on a regular basis. 

Love and appreciation for the fact that I have a warm cozy house and healthy food to eat.  I'm thankful for that every single day and know how lucky I am that I don't worry about having the necessities. 

Love for my country, that despite being in crisis, is still the most amazing country in the world (and I say that having a LOT of love for a LOT of countries out there.) 

Love for my friends, without whom no amount of therapy would be able to prop me up.  I feel privileged to have a circle of friends with whom I feel completely comfortable and completely supported and I don't ever take that for granted because it's a gift.

Love for my dog, who never complains about being stuck with a family that ignores him most of the time, doesn't walk him enough, and complains about his large body regularly (he really does need to go on a massive diet though.)

So that's it.  I hope everyone today takes a moment to make their love list, because it's a sweet day to remember all that you love.  It's also a really great day for treating yourself to chocolate, flowers, red wine, and oh yeah, even a little Melange shopping.

oxoxox

Signed, ME {lv}

Church Yoga & Losing My Car

Ava recently go her license (just about a week ago).  She’s 17, so she’s waited a long time to get it because we forced her to take a 3 month driving course and rack up loads of driving experience.  She’s still only an ok driver (on a good day).  I am not entirely sure I’ve ever driven with her when I haven’t feared for my life at least once.  

So now that she’s officially in possession of a card that says she’s “allowed to drive” (the state licensing system must be fundamentally flawed), she’s basically begging to drive ALL the time.  Ultimately we’ll buy a third family car, but the thought of her having easy access to a lethal weapon right now seems like a very bad idea.  So meanwhile, she’s begging to drive our cars.  My car is the smaller of the two, so it’s probably safer to drive for her and maneuver in the city and into parking spots etc.  She borrowed it today, and I gave her a very specific window of time she could use it, and then she blew thru that car curfew and brought it back an hour late claiming, “I thought it didn’t matter because you had dad’s car.”  All I know is that this is going to be TORTURE from start to finish.  I know it’s a “learning” time and I’m supposed to be patient and all that, but still, it’s horrible and I pretty much dislike every minute. I worry the entire time she has the car on the road, it’s going to take years off my life, AND I’m basically losing my car every other minute which is not a little inconvenient.

On a brighter note, I took John to my church yoga class Sunday morning at 8:30 with my favorite instructor.  It was a really hard class, with some crazy balancing moves that were hard for experience yogis.  Twisted half moon?  There were like 20 of them.  John was totally lost, and every time I happened to notice him he looked like he might topple over, and/or he was doing a very, VERY distant cousin of the actual pose. Still, he liked the class a lot, and that made me happy.  The message today I thought was fitting for me, because I literally was just complaining about my mundane, crazy boring day.  The offering today was two things, to seek things out that make you uncomfortable or challenge you because those are the moments and memories that are most valuable to us.  The other aspect of his sermon was about being present in the mundane aspects of our lives, and how much work it takes to actually do that. It’s a huge challenge, but when you can be present during all those countless “mindless and mundane” things we elevate them. I've got a lot of those mundane moments, so I'm going to really try hard this week to be less cranky about them, and more appreciate of the moments themselves.

What I also know is that we finally got Makana candle restock, and I'm so happy because I've burned thru my secret stash of them (I have to hide them from Ava & Lucia because they like to steal them.)  They all smell so delicious, and I love the smaller size we carry because it's the perfect size for the bathroom, or little places here and there.  It's also a great size (and price) for an easy little gift for your girlfriends (Valentine's Day treat anyone?)

Happy Monday!

Signed, ME {lv}

Surprises, Good & Bad

I went to bed last night late because of some teenage-dick-around-ing with the curfew (the requests to push it 'just another 10 minutes' went on for an hour), plus I had what may have been 1-4 glass of wine (I was at a dinner party and the host was so smooth I barely noticed my glass being filled up again and again, but I feel like I drank a lot and never had an empty glass which is not a good sign.)  So due to the above two things, I was not hopeful for a good night's sleep.  However, it turns out my sleep was just dandy, until 4 a.m. when I was yanked out of a deep, hard sleep, to the sound of our house alarm going off.  I was so tired, I couldn't even think very clearly.  I grabbed my glasses and my phone so I could turn off the system and rushed downstairs (along with John).  In the back of my mind I was already getting agitated that one of the girls had tried to sneak out of the house setting off the alarm, it never occurred to me that it might have been a serial killer breaking in to chop us into pieces. Good thing it wasn't.

What I found downstairs was Ava who, in her 4 a.m. shuffle to the kitchen to get water, managed to knock down a large metal tumbler from the cabinet which made a clanging sound that fooled the alarm system into thinking someone had broken glass.  SURPRISE.  That's hard to recover from, there is no returning to deep sleep after that adrenaline rush.

Then later in the day John walked in from running errands, he plunked a gallon of milk on the table, put a bag of groceries on the bar and then out of the grocery bag he pulled out a new Apple Watch for me. SURPRISE!  Mine broke a couple of weeks ago.  It just quit  working (granted it was OLD), but I really missed it yet stopped short of going to the Apple store and buying a new one (I get sticker shock and find all tech purchases  traumatizing.) 

So here's to surprises, the good kind.  Valentine's Day is coming up, and it's the perfect time to send out thoughtful little surprises to those you love.  I just bought Julie Mollo clutches for the older girls, and a bunch of bath bombs for Gia.  My plan is to make little baskets of fun stuff for each of the kids.  Still need to find little surprises for Romeo though, sadly for me I don't think there is anything at Melange he'd want (that would make my life TOO easy.)  

Signed, ME {lv}

 

 

 

Too Boring To Talk About

I have a lot of days where someone will ask me how my day was, or what I did (this happens with John all the time), and I honestly can’t imagine reciting the mundane crap I did because they can’t really want to know that stuff right?  I think that’s why I like writing so much, you can’t see the person’s eyes glaze over or the look of boredom when you explain that you did 4 loads of laundry, got gas, cleaned out the fridge, picked up a skirt for you kid and mulled over sizing for a solid 25 minutes, went to the pharmacy to try and investigate perimenopausal supplements (which made you want to shoot yourself), and picked up the house (because somehow if you don’t do that everything just progressively gets more out of order and chaos is only days away.) No one wants to hear all that really. Usually I’ll go to answer John’s question, literally opening my mouth slowly with a pregnant pause, then promptly close it and declare, "it’s too boring to talk about.

Today was that kind of day. Nothing terrible, just a lot of mundane stuff that needed to get done.  It can’t be avoided, but it’s also painfully boring stuff.  I wish I could say I found the cure for the coronavirus, wrote a novel, or invented a life changing app.  No, I just managed to finish laundry and that included rewashing the table cloth and getting out the spaghetti stains that didn’t get out the first time.  Ugh…even writing it is killing me with boredom.

I barely made it thru yoga class this morning because for some reason it was twice as hard as it was on Monday (same sequence, same teacher).  This time I had to back off several times for fear of passing out. Her messaging was all about determination (which was essentially the same message as Monday), but was totally appropriate because it actually took a crap-ton of determination to make it thru the class. 

Gia has a dance tonight, so her and her two friends are going, and this morning was all about the drama of what she could wear because “she had nothing”.  I think basically we all feel that way from middle school onward.  It's when the, 'what the hell am I going to wear' starts?  Nothing ever seems right. 

I’m putting my “chill” essential oil in my diffuser and I’m going to just relish in the fact that it’s Friday, and the work week is behind us.  I'm also gong to relish in the new Swahilli Coast beaded bracelets that came in today-- which are fantastic.  The last group sold so quickly, so we got a large restock of styles and a bunch of new styles in as well.  They are so pretty stacked up, the hardest part honestly is picking which ones are your favorite. Love these, they are so well made, sturdy feeling and totally unique!

Signed, ME {lv} 

Car Butt, Polar Express & Froggy Destresses

You know those days that move along like a breeze, where you are floating on clouds, everything works like clockwork, your skin is perfect, your outfit adorable, the kids are healthy, your husband isn’t bugging you, birds chirp and the sun shines?  Well, this was just like that, but the exact opposite.  Ugh, seriously, not sure what was in the air but Wednesday takes the award for craptastic day of 2020 so far.  Was it a full moon?

I won’t bore you with all the details, but I’ll give you the briefest of highlights so you can adequately sense my pain.  Ava decided to sleep thru her alarm feigning some illness (that only kept her home until 11:30, after which time she got dressed and went to school—I drove her adding to my list of drives.) Gia felt well enough to go back to school but started machine gun texting me at 9:30 a.m. to be picked up at 10:45 because essentially her “friends” said she couldn’t sit with them at lunch due to some pre-planned lunch activity that she wasn’t privy too since she’d been out with the flu for two days.  Those little…..  

So she was upset, wanted to come home during lunch, and not only was it 20 minutes there and back, it was also heart breaking to hear her talk about it.  On the way to get her I logged in to the store cameras to see who was working....oh, look at that, it's 10:30 and the store is DARK.  Literally every owner or manager's worst nightmare, the morning shift person was a no-show.  That little episode took a year off my life--and that's conservative.  A crisis I didn't see coming, sneak attack crisis.

Lucia texted me at 1:30 with dramatic complaints of her "killer period", so then I had to pick her up.  Then it was on to pick up Romeo, then Ava again, and then Gia again.  Normally I would just be picking Gia up at the bus stop a mile away, but because the day was out to get me, she called (along with her frienemy from the earlier saga), and announced that the bus driver didn't let them on the bus because it was "too full."   If you are counting, that's my THIRD trip to a school 20 minutes away.   Honestly, I have car butt today from sitting so long in the car, I could feel my hips getting bigger.

The brightest spot of my day was coming home after I picked Romeo up, and he declared he was “going poop ASAP”—which he does daily at exactly the same time.  He’s also declared that no matter HOW bad he has to go during school, he’ll never actually GO at school. Is there a psychological term for a fear of pooping in public??  Anyway, he got home, and shouted that he was going to do his business, and then 5 minutes later I hear coming out of bathroom the sound of him singing, and not so quietly, the hot chocolate theme song from Polar Express.  What the hell?  Where does that even come from out of the blue?  It was HYSTERICAL though, and lifted my spirits.

Lastly, I texted my dear friend a picture of yoga froggy trying to destress in shivasana, but he had to put a wrap around his eyes to mellow out.  That’s because froggy never closes his eyes, which is how I feel right now, like my eyes have been tooth-picked open all day and all I want to do is to close them and drift off into my shivasana.

Real life comes in between all the fun stuff at Melange--you heard the real life part, now on to the fun stuff--like the cool new Sarah Liller group that arrived today.  I do love her fabrics—and I will say that I’ve tried and tested them all (machine washed and accidently super hot dried), and it still looks great.  It’s one of my favorite travel fabrics.  Check out the new icy blue top to the right, the Petunia, that is actually a new gauze fabric that she did this spring and it feels like sunshine—light and airy and wonderful.  

Signed, ME {lv}

Hello Love Month, First Act of Kindness & Yoga Inspiration

I've got BIG news.  Well, maybe not that big, but it feels kind of big to me.  Lucia went to yoga with me this afternoon!!  Yes, my moody, more than occasionally irrational and irritated teen went with ME to a 4:30 p.m. (on a Friday no less) yoga class.  I thought for sure she was going to bail on me.  I would have put money on it.  But no, she actually came, and it was a good class, and I think she really liked it.  The message today was awesome, and the teacher was one I really love AND who is infamous for lots of messaging.  Seriously though, all I could think of during the entire class and all the awesome yoga lecturing was "Lucia, I hope you are really listening."  The focus today was on the concept that it is never too late to do what you want to do, or be what you want to be.  She actually gave this quirky (and totally random) example that had inspired her whole thought process.  The story went like this:

She was watching videos of kiss cams at sports events.  Who knows why, but she got sucked into some social media rabbit hole and found herself watching them.  So the kiss cam focuses in on all these different people....some are happy couples who kiss sweetly, others are couples that play jokes or dump popcorn on the others head (sounds rude, but ok).  And in one of the videos this woman turns to her date for a kiss and he laughs, shrugs his shoulders and turns away.  So what does she do?  She turns right around to the guy on the OTHER side of her, and leaned in for a kiss.  

I guess the point of this little story was just that, you, on the fly, can change it up.  Just. Like. That.  You can take something, and turn it into a totally different thing.  You can change your attitude, your relationships, your health, your look, your whatever, at the drop of a hat. Just because you can.  It's never too late, and nothing is "fixed". It's pretty empowering when you remind yourself of that fact.

On a totally other note, HELLO FEBRUARY!!  I'm so ready for a new month, and SO ready for February.  I've always had a soft spot forthis odd little bridge month, with a love holiday smack down in the middle.  I dig it!  I'm super excited about our February challenge this month because we wanted an excuse to, on a daily basis, think about, and actualize loving things for ourselves and others.  It's not easy to do it every single day in a conscious way, but we're up for the challenge.

My loving act today is going to be my kick off of heart notes.  My plan is to take my 3" heart punch that I bought JUST for this lovely month, and make little notes for the kids each day with words of encouragement or love.  One a day, and today is day #1.

Happy Love Month people!!

Signed, ME {lv}

Living Under a Rock, Music Instead of Politics, Confirmation Bias & New EF

My day started out less than great, with a series of 20 or so heartbreaking texts from Gia as she rode the bus to school. The short version is that "no one likes her, school is horrible, all her friends left her and got rides to school instead, life sucks, she might cry, and we forgot to buy art class materials."  That last one is on me because I did in fact get two emails reminding me, but I still forgot.  Suffice it to say, NOT a pleasant way to start the day because there is nothing worse than watching your kid struggle thru the awkward middle school social years. She was fine by the end of the day, and I knew she would be, but it still sucked.

Yoga was good though and it helped me separate myself from her temporary angst (always a parents' struggle.) I am loving my new mat that I can use for hot class because it doesn't require a sweat mat on top of it.  It’s from Manduka, and the thing is brilliant.  I’ve used it twice now in a hot class (98 degrees), and indeed, I did NOT need my sweat towel over my mat.   Take note hot yoga class lovers.

Music is on my mind because I’ve officially listened to WAY too much of the impeachment trial.  I waffle between wanting to be informed, and then being SO sick of hearing about it and listening to the same things over and over.  It makes matters worse that so much of the news is bias to the left or right, you have to pull from SO many different news sources just to get a global perspective on anything or hear fair representation of both sides of the arguments. Who has time for that? Infuriating, exhausting, and more and more I think the answer is to just shut it all off and listen to music. Which I did today, and I can tell you right now, it was much more enjoyable.

Sometimes I feel like I’m in the know, and then I’m reminded that NOPE, I’m not…I’ve actually been living under a rock.  Have you heard of Sofar Sounds?  Google it if you haven’t.  It’s a super cool music dealio that until very recently, I didn’t know existed.   Just figured I should pass it on since we are talkin’ music.

I also listened to more of my self help book (Everything is Figureoutable), which I wasn’t lovin’ on yesterday, but it’s growing on me because it reiterates some solid points that are good to have hammered in again and again (and if it’s delivered in a self-help format, I’ll just have to tolerate it.)  I was reminded while reading today of confirmation bias, which amounts to seeing and hearing what you want to see and hear—what confirms your already held beliefs (whether those are accurate or not).  We all have a story we tell ourselves in our head, we all have those beliefs that are cemented down in there and then we filter the world based on what confirms those beliefs, EVEN in the face of contradictory information. My other favorite thing I read today from her book was the key distinction between I can’t, and I won’t. I am guilty of this…saying “I can’t do that”, or “I can’t make that happen” or whatever it is, when REALLY the word should be “I won’t do that”, or “ I won’t make that happen.”  It’s just simply more accurate most of the time, and more empowering to use the word “I won’t.”  Example: The only time I have to work out is at 5:00 a.m., so I say, “I can’t fit in a workout”.  It’s not that you can’t, but you WON’T because you aren’t willing to do what it takes to fit it in (and no judgment there, working out at 5 a.m. sounds dreadful and sleep is the most important thing ever.)  But if you own the decision, doesn’t it instantly feel different? Doesn't it give you control back?

The new Eileen Fisher is dreamy.  I’ve got a love affair going on with that wisteria color.  So gorgeous.  Love all the white too with just that little pop of fuchsia…it’s all very spring inspiring. For all of those people out there knee deep in cold weather, maybe even snow, who are currently wondering how they can possibly even think about spring, I've got two things. First: We’ve got to think about spring because we are all getting just a tiny bit tired of our Winter clothes. Two: If we don’t snatch up the cool spring clothes now, they will be long gone by the time we actually have weather that warrants wearing them.  I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.

Signed, ME {lv}

Attitude of Gratitude, Going Solo, & Retail Therapy

Coming back from our quick jaunt to SF, I’ve done nothing but ponder how powerful the “attitude of gratitude” is, and how wonderful it is to stop and realize all the ways you are blessed, even when things seem really difficult.

My dear friend I was visiting (who I mentioned yesterday and I’ve known since 5^thgrade), is an amazing and patient mother. Her youngest was born with profound disabilities.  She’s a sweet and loving child, who is happy and so loved by her parents, siblings and caretakers, it’s wonderful to watch. Although my friend has had many moments (seen and unseen to me), where she has felt the weight and sadness of her daughters condition, I’ve also seen her grow and come to appreciate this whole new side of life, with a whole new gratitude for the simple things from her children.  A smile, a laugh, the absence of a cold, or a seizure.  Despite how hard it is, how hard it has to be, she is so grateful for the little gifts her daughter gives her every single day, the gifts she’s given their whole family.  Honestly, it’s so inspiring because it’s very easy to get caught up in what you think are the “worst problems ever”—which are usually whatever problems you happen to be dealing with at the moment. Most of us get wrapped in our world and go down the rabbit hole of "how bad could this get?" "why me?" and "this isn't fair!"  

I know personally I’ve allowed myself to wallow in how difficult my teens are at times, how “unfair” it is that everyone, literally EVERYone, seems to have an easier time at it.  It’s ridiculous, and self-indulgent of me to think this way even for a minute.  I have two healthy teens, who yes, are trouble with a capital T, but they are healthy, and generally happy, and I theoretically get to hug and kiss them every day (although they mostly don’t let me.) I'm incredibly lucky.

So here’s my reminder to myself.  Be grateful for the problems you have, they could be worse.  Find gratitude in whatever circumstances you find yourself in right this moment because there are always things to be grateful for.  

John leaves for two weeks tomorrow (some work, some play.). I start my solo parenting marathon and I’m in full prep mode.   I’ll miss him of course, a lot, that goes without saying.  Having him gone have parts that are hard, and parts of it that are easier honestly.   I end up having a lot of free time somehow, especially in the evenings, and I can plow thru projects that I need to do. It gets tiring having no back up for driving the kids around and activities etc., but there is also no one to coordinate with, and that also can be easier.  

What I do know is that I plan on pampering myself these next two weeks.  I plan on getting a facial, maybe a massage….throw in a pedicure, and definitely some retail therapy.  We are getting all kinds of new things in this week (Velvet, Margaret O’Leary and more), and I feel like the timing of cool new stuff, during a period that I definitely DESERVE to treat myself, well, that’s kismet for sure.

Hope everyone tackles the week with gusto, I have high hopes!

Signed, ME {lv}

Aggra Things, Scarves & Deserted Island Beauty

If I were being shipped off to a deserted island, and could only bring ONE beauty product, I would for sure, 100%, bring my Augustinus Bader moisturizer.  I love this stuff, LOVE.  John’s going to Europe in a week and I’ve already bugged him 100 times about trying to find the cream over there in hopes I can stock up on it for cheaper than the pricey tag we’ve got to pay here for this German import.  I can’t wait to hear what everyone else’s favorites are!

I did one thing on my “aggra” list today….as in “aggravating stuff list”.  I’ve needed to call my health insurance for months, MONTHS about some allergy testing I did back in September that the insurance denied coverage for.  I’ve been dreading calling because I was just sure I would get in some big fight with them about some tiny small print that they were trying to hang their hat on in order to not pay the bill.  I was pissed off before I even called.  Turns out though, after waiting on hold for 20 minutes, that the insurance company had just forgotten to attach the referral to the bill so they had to send it back to claims and it would all be fine.  So all this time it's been on my aggra list and it turned out to be no big deal at all.   Felt SO good to cross something off this dreaded list of things I did NOT want to do. 

We got in a new line today, Chevy & Lex, and they are the most cheery, darling scarves ever. The company is located just north of us in Washington, and the entire focus is on finding treasures while they are traveling to cool places like India.  Born entirely out of their love of trolling awesome markets in cool countries (which is by the way, one of my absolute favorite things to do.). These make me excited for the sun to come back out, for daffodils and Spring Break.

We put “hooky day” on our gratitude list today because Gia stayed home today, in a self-proclaimed mental health day.  I think she was worn out from wishing a snow day into fruition (which never happened), and when she realized there was no way it was going to snow, she was so crestfallen that she sent me a long list of reasons why she needed a hooky day.  I caved, because I usually do, AND because she’s so dedicated 98% of the time to the things she “has to do”.  We can’t be dedicated ALL the time right?  Everyone needs to give themselves a hooky pass sometimes!

Happy Wednesday everyone.

Signed, ME {lv}

Get Your Vibe On, Hypochondriacs & Friday

I know I have trashed talked my youngest daughter’s intolerance for pain, Ava’s wimpy nature when it comes to illness, and Romeo’s phobias, but nothing really compares to John’s hypochondria. Yes, I realize I’m no professional, but I feel like my years and years of therapy (and I mean YEARS), at least gives me an honorary degree in arm chair psychology.  He’s never been diagnosed but seriously somewhere in his medical charts there have got to be concerns noted.

He just thinks he’s dying of one ailment or another on occasion—and almost all of these ailments are random, extreme, and rare things.  The latest series of physical issues started with his broken rib from a ridiculously pedestrian fall down the stairs, and then it managed to flow inexplicably, into a deep vein thrombosis in his calf – otherwise known as a blood clot.  Due to his rib injury he had to change up his routine (no running, rowing or weights), so he did a spin class.  He left a class and his calf hurt a LOT.  Four days later, it still hurt a LOT apparently and despite really have no other symptoms (maybe shortness of breath he said, but I'm guessing this was more of a mild panic attack vs. blood clot related), he was convinced he was going to throw a clot any minute.  

So all this is only to explain a good chunk of my day. Listening to his blood clot concerns, watching him ice his calf, then listening to him call the advice nurse, who after hearing all these weird symptoms told him to go straight to the ER (she might have just assumed any psychological issues could be dealt with there too.) What happened in the end?  He went to the ER, they didn’t actually laugh IN his face, but I’m sure they did after he left.  They didn’t even scan him, they just gave him a prescription for ibuprofen and told him he wasn’t dying but most likely had a sports injury from the spin class he took.  He’s currently working out at the gym as I type this….with the fear of dying behind him, he’s back to concentrating on his fitness.

I’m just happy I survived this week, I think it’s been a TOUGH week all around, and I’m tired and ready for Friday.  I dealt with a lot of OTHER people’s issues this week, and I’m feeling pretty done with it.  As I type this, Gia and her friend are in the kitchen playing Norris Nuts on the speakers (loudly) —and if you’ve never heard Norris Nuts…well, you are one lucky lady.  They just made some diabetic inducing dessert that involved a layer of chocolate chip cookie dough with oreos on top, and then a brownie mix poured over the whole thing. I didn’t have the energy to dissuade this endeavor, I just have to hope it has so much sugar in it that it seizes up their jaws the second they put it in their mouths and they don’t end up eating any.

On a happier note, these new Vibe necklaces are ADORABLE.  I think we all need to pick our purpose in honor of the new year and add something pretty to our necks.   I need the smoky quartz which “is a protective and grounding stone that gently neutralizes negative vibrations.  Smoky quartz disperses fear, lifts depression and negativity while bringing emotional calmness and relieving stress and anxiety.”  Sounds good to me, I can use that.  Not only that, but I feel like it's the perfect time to do something nice for oneself!

Happy Friday!!

Signed, ME {lv}

Relaxing, Red Velvet, Wrist Ready & Peacock Pretty

You know what I realized today?  It’s possible to go thru the day without ever really relaxing your body fully.  This is true EVEN if you go to yoga.  I took a morning class and was laying on my back for the beginning of class.  It usually starts out like that and quickly moves into your standard warm up flow. The teacher tried harder than normal to center everyone on the mat, and I realized that even though I was laying there, and I seemed pretty relaxed it wasn’t until I REALLY concentrated on melting into the floor that I realized that I had been holding a lot of tension in my shoulders, upper back and neck.  When I let that go there was this immediate softening and it felt like a big sigh of a relief, BUT I also realized that usually I get to that stage only at the END of class in shivasana if I’m lucky, but usually not at ANY other time.  That's in part because I'm anticipating the next move, so even if I'm trying to be mellow in the beginning of class, my body knows it's about to move.  I probably don’t really get fully relaxed until I pass out at night from total fatigue which is more like a narcoleptic experience than a conscious relaxation process. I don’t know what that all means, just that I find it interesting that it’s so hard to fully relax my body and that it might be good to do it more often—at least for a few minutes here and there.  Maybe that would help my stress levels?

It’s mid-week….already. I am currently obsessed with two things. First, these new Swahili bracelets. I love them, I want to wear at least two at all times.  They are just super cute on, ,and I like them stacked and contrasting.  I’ve got a thing for bracelets, I love them piled up, and while I totally acknowledge it might drive other people batty, I love the soft sound they make when they hit against each other.  I’m big on my wrist candy.

The second thing I’m obsessed with is my new hair machine (it's called a Revlon One-Step Hair Dryer & Volumizer Hot Air Brush.)  It’s like a brush, curling iron and flat iron all got together and had a baby. You use it on your hair when it’s wet, and sort of “brush out” your hair while simultaneously drying it, and the barrel is ceramic so it gets nice and hot and smooths everything out.  It’s better than flat ironing because it’s not stick straight and has body to it.  All I know is that it’s the best $40 I’ve spent on anything hair related in forever. I actually bought it for Lucia for Christmas after reading about it on a blog, borrowed it a couple of times and then became a convert.  There you go, obsession #2

I also made a red velvet cake today, for Ava’s birthday, and I have no idea if tasted ok since I can't eat gluten, BUT it looked pretty.  I love making cakes, it’s a little bit therapeutic.  Mostly, I just like frosting cakes...coloring the frosting, designing it, making the flowers.  Today wasn't a masterpiece (my buttercream was a little too soft to hold flowers well), but the homemade cherry filling was pretty good--that was my twist to the traditional red velvet.  Always go to have a twist.

Lastly, I will just say that the new Prairie Underground Mid-Hedgerow hoodie in peacock is a really, REALLY good color.  It just makes me happy to look at it.  It reminds me one the classic Prairie Underground Cloak hoodie that I bought in this color about a gazillion years ago and I wore it to death.   I actually like this style sweatshirt better, it's a little more mellow, easier to wear I think than the cloak style--plus the length is better.  This might be the excuse I need to buy myself a new sweatshirt.

Signed, ME {lv} 

Tough Tuesday, Assumptions & Little Rituals

I thought Monday was hard. Tuesday morning nearly killed me. Three out of four kids were late for school, so that right there involved all kinds of yelling and frustration--and all before 8:30 a.m.. I attribute the entire reason I need botox (badly) to Ava, she’s single handedly aging me rapidly. 

I went to yoga, after the hideous morning drop offs, with high hopes that it would chill me out. It did, a bit (but honestly I was so amp’ed up that coming down 50% only brought me to moderately frantic.)  I was totally confused by the teacher’s offering today.  Something about a heart chakra and a stomach chakra, but I never quite got it.  I did hava a take away though, which didn’t involve the teacher at all. 

I often see the same people at yoga, but usually I’m in a rush, so I don’t actually SEE them until I’m already in the hot yoga room which means a couple of things.  One, my entire focus is on not bolting out the door because I’m usually ruminating on how it feels hotter than normal and too hot to actually exercise in.  Two, it’s quiet and dimly lit, with soft music playing….i.e., it’s not social hour so the most you do is look around, but that’s about it.  Today I was a few minutes early and entered the too hot room, went to set my stuff down in a cubby and a woman that I often see in the same time slot on different days was also setting her bag down.  Now I’ll be honest, she always looked kind of stern to me, not approachable at all.  She looks serious and a little intense, and for some reason I assumed she didn’t have kids and lived in an urban condo and was married to some intense job.  Where did I get that whole internal story in my head??  Who the hell knows, there is no good reason, except that if we are honest we all make snap assessments based on all kinds of faulty random info that our brain cooks up (hello biases, nice to meet ya.) 

Well, today I had a whim and said, “I see you here all the time, looks like we’re on the same schedule.” She immediately responded and introduced herself and turns out she’s SUPER sweet, has two little kids, and is not stern or serious at all.   She does not live in an urban condo either.

Moral of the story….you don’t know a person's deal, so don’t assume you do.

The rest of my day was spent knee deep in errands and birthday prep for Ava who turns 17 tomorrow. It’s harder to do birthday prep when you are SO irritated with someone you want to throttle them, yet that’s exactly what I did.  All I know is I can’t believe I have a 17 year old kid.  It made me ponder how much my life has changed in the last 10 years, and how much it’ll change 10 years from now.  We celebrated her 7^thbirthday 10 years ago.  Everything was different.  And 10 years from now she’ll be 27 and who KNOWS where we’ll all be, I can’t even begin to speculate what that might look like. It's exciting and scary both at once.

One thing I did do for myself today was to light myself a candle while I sat in my office. It’s a silly thing, because a candle isn’t all that special, I do use them all the time, but not usually in my office and today it was more of a ceremonial treat--a little ritual to make me feel good.  I used my Made Market matches (which are just crazy cute and would be a needlessly indulgent except that they make me happy and the bottle is so darn pretty to look at. The Makana candles are wonderful, I need more of them but the last one I bought is just delicious and it did make me happy to have it burning.

Besides that the other thing I did to make me happy is repositioned my flexi-yoga-frog. Yep, he sits on my desk, a gift from my dearest friend in SF, who saw him and couldn’t resist.  When we were in college we had a toy flexi-spider that was about the same size that sat on the dash of the car with a cigarette in his mouth.  He was dubbed "really scary spider" and was the mascot for our wild and debachery filled college days.  It seems fitting that my late 40's should have a flexi-green-yoga-frog as a mascot.  It's another one of my fun little rituals to make me happy...positioning froggy, snapping a picture, laughing, and then sending the pic to my friend with a caption entitled "froggy in down dog" or "froggy trying tree pose".  As my husband often says to me, "you are cracking yourself up."  Emphasis on YOURSELF (vs. anyone else).

Here's to hoping that the rest of the week is smooth like butter (that I can't eat because I'm allergic to dairy.). Again, cracking myself up....

Signed, ME {lv}

Bittersweet, Don’t Forget, & Things To Come

I have two conflicting feelings as we go into the first “non-holiday week” of January.  Kids are going back to school, and part of me is really sad that our break is over, that the “lounge-y-ness” of the holiday break is over.  The grind of the week with all the lunch making and activities starts and I'll be living in my car most of the day.  On the other hand, I’m also a little excited to get back into a proper routine, which couldn’t really happen until the kids were back into school.  Their sleep routine has been all messed up, there has been a video game blitz that might have actually done retinal damage to their eyes, they are snacking all day long (I’ve been grocery shopping constantly and I still hear “there’s nothing to eat”—I just can’t keep up.). For their own good they need to get back to school so they don’t get sucked into the vortex of laziness permanently. 

The first morning is going to be rough though, real rough.  It doesn’t help that at 7:30 a.m. when I’ve been waking up (that’s a full two hours later than normal for me), it STILL looks like nighttime outside.  We are in deep winter mode.  Hope everyone survives their Monday, it might not be that easy.

Also, simply because I’m in birthday mode (‘ve got three birthdays to contend with before the 15^th), here’s a shout out to remember January birthdays NOW.  January babies get the shaft basically—blame that on holiday fatigue.  Get your calendars out right now and figure out how you are going to make your January friends feel special (need an idea?  I just took a super cute Maika makeup bag (or the brand new Julie Mollo bags are A-dorable and fun), filled it with masks from new Kocostar, threw a jade face roller in there….voila, perfect January pick me up).

New Prairie Underground arrives today, and then my favorite inspirational pillow of all time.  Stay tuned....

Signed, ME {lv}

The Force, It's Not Your Fault, & First Weekend Of January

We took the kids to see the new Star Wars movie yesterday.  We bought 7 tickets to be exact because we added the guy that Ava is dating.  We all get there and Lucia decides she really doesn’t want to be there and she wants to über home to meet her friend to do something else.  Then Ava declares she really never wanted to see Star Wars since she’s seen none of the others in the series (when I asked her if she wanted to go the day before seems would have been a much better time to tell me.)  Her date was smart enough to just say he was “cool with anything”.  The tickets were pre-purchased so we couldn't get them into another movie, so we took out a second mortgage to buy popcorn and drinks, and finally got into the theater with 6 people.  About 20 minutes into the movie Ava shoulder taps me and her and her date wanted to permission to “bail since they didn’t understand the movie” and would rather go meet his friends to hang out.  So the upshot of all of that is my planned out “family movie night” was the two remaining kids, John and I.  Very, very aggravating (and needlessly expensive).  Not what I envisioned at all.  Common theme for this weekend though is to roll with the punches.

The silver lining however was the ah-ha moment I had this morning when I went to yoga and the instructor talked about listening to yourself and voice inside to guide your vision for the new year….which seemed to coincide pretty perfectly with the moment in the movie last night where a bit character says to one of the main characters, “but how do you know?” and he stops, pauses and says, “I just know.”  In other words, the force showed him the way. So that’s my yoga AND Stars Wars take away.  Following your instinct (inner voice, gut feeling, compass or whatever you want to call it), it’ll show you the way for the new year.  

Today John and I went shopping for Ava’s birthday which is just a few days away (winter babies are so hard, I wish someone had warned me).  My big take away was my revelation from watching John try and shop for Ava, while being surrounding (or at least in close proximity) to stuff HE wanted.  Since the kids were little I’ve taken them each individually to shop for birthday presents for friends, or for siblings or family, trying to teach them to focus on someone else and be thoughtful about it--even if for just 5 short minutes.  Ava is horrible at it, she can’t make it 3 minutes without wanting something for herself.  The other kids are now better to varying degrees (but they are still kids though, and generally kids are bad at this.)  I made myself nuts trying to make these gift buying expeditions “teaching moments” and let me tell you, take a 7 year old to the toy store and tell her to pick out a gift for her friend?  It’s a nightmare.  Anyway, what I realized today watching John is that it was probably a total waste of time because Ava is no better at focusing at 17 than she was at 7, and John is no better at 50.  It's just personality.  I had to constantly refocus him, he just couldn’t stop the distraction of seeing things that he might potentially want (he came home with shoes for himself, and I'm lucky it was just shoes.)   So basically, lest you forget, your control as a parent over personality is pretty limited. It's not your fault that you can't train/teach it out of them.  I was probably better off foregoing those miserable toy store trips with Ava and saving myself the stress because my guess is she’s still going to turn out just like her dad.  There are worse things :-), but it does get expensive. 

I will also note that because I was so dead set on making this weekend the poster-weekend for 2020 since it’s the first kick off weekend, I immediately had the worse sleep EVER last night.  Like ever, ever.    Which makes me want to eat 4 of my new favorite gluten free powdered donut that I’m obsessed with (instead of the more appropriate one). Lesson there is to not hold too tightly to any one vision, there is a good chance you have to roll with plan B (which is NOT get nearly enough sleep on the kick off weekend of the new year AND over indulging in too many sweets which will be appropriately blamed on fatigue). 

Signed, ME {lv}

The Weight of Procrastination, Goat Cheese & Card Organization

You know that feeling of getting something done that you’ve dreaded having to do?  All the anticipation of having to do it, all the energy you put into wishing you didn’t have to do it?  Then the relief of having actually finally done it, and having it behind you.  That’s a great feeling—like the weight of something heavy off your shoulders.  Imagine not getting any feeling of relief, and then imagine how hard it would be to still do the things that you dreaded doing.  That’s Ava, my 17 year old, in a nutshell.  She procrastinates like no one I’ve ever met.  EVER.  She drags her feet until the most dire of consequences have already started happening.  Then she does it, and for some unknown reason, doesn’t seem to get that rush of relief that is so helpful since that rush is stored in your brain so that the next time you procrastinate maybe you do it a little less because you just want to get it done and over with so you can feel good.  It’s a very unfortunate personality trait that I can’t seem to reason out of her.

So, as I watch Ava in full procrastination mode  (finals are less than 3 weeks away), I’m reminded that a really good way to start the new year is to check off all the crap on your list that you REALLY don’t want to do.  Imagine how good it will feel to start off the first month of the year tackling the things you ignored all last year in hopes they would go away?   Some of the traditional New Year’s kick off things I really enjoy doing….I like getting organized, I have a little Marie Kondo in me for sure.  I’m taking a break from those things though and I'm really going to try and knock off the stuff that I dread (like year end accounting, the hand-washing pile and finding the paint to retouch up the big black scratch in our bedroom--which has been there for two years).

I did distract myself earlier with the new Crystalyn Kae card cases which are darling and a pop of fun color.  Card cases are my favorite for organizing my purse and I always have one in my bag for the cards I use constantly plus my ID and some cash, plus another one  for my backup cards (like emergency visa, Costco card, coffee card I never remember to use and things like that). It makes it easy to transfer purses too or utilize a clutch because I just grab my card case, phone and lipstick and I’m good.

I went to yoga again this morning….in the name of 2020 self care and personal sanity (did you see how well I handled talking about Ava’s annoying procrastination above?) The offering today was the reminder that the best parts of us come from the most vulnerable places within us. Basically, your story, your ability to connect with the world, and strength, all comes from those soft vulnerable places within—and allowing yourself to tap into them.

My other self-care act was to eat a LOT of this amazing goat cheese brie I bought with quince paste.  Oh my goodness.  Good stuff, and I enjoyed every last bite.  Don't start out the year with crushing food goals, we all feel a little toxic after the holiday food/alcohol rotation but you can implement moderation so you can still enjoy the nourishment and joy of food without starting off the year in deprivation-food-hating-resentment mode.  Right?  My goat cheese-fest says YES.  If you are wondering whose idea it was to ask in our daily survey what food you want to eat MORE of in 2020--it was most definitely mine. I say goat cheese.

Shout out to the new Eileen Fisher, it’s pretty darn adorable and a perfect group to wear now and straight thru spring!

Signed, ME {lv}

Holidays 2019, The Real Deal

My relationship with Christmas is tenuous at best.  I want to love the holiday, I really do.  I start out each year in earnest to love the holiday and always begin with high hopes that I will do battle with stressful Christmas and only allow peaceful Christmas to stay with me.  More often than not, stressful Christmas kicks peaceful's butt.  It's the kids saying 1 million times how excited they are (that just equals massive pressure on me), it's the relatives coming, it's the sheer organizational madness of it all, and perfectionism that creeps in even though I try not to let it.

What can I say without sounding like a grinch?  Not a lot.  At this point I should just shut up, plaster a smile on my face, and open my eyes in 3 days.  My in-laws arrive tomorrow night, after which time I have to pray nothing comes out of my mouth for the 60 hour visit of an incendiary nature -- this is incredibly hard because sometimes I can't help myself and sometimes I don't even realize what I'm saying could possibly be construed as incendiary.  Add in a cocktail or two and you can understand my dread.  I'm a ticking time bomb.

Here's what I know.  We (women), make a lot of excuses for not taking care of ourselves, and when we do take care of ourselves, we make excuses why we are doing it as if we're embarrassed we are doing it.  We are most often last in line.  Kids come first, then a spouse and partners, family members, jobs....it can be awhile before we pop up on our list of priorities.  This is the time of year we all need extreme self care because every woman I know, whether she has no children, or a boatload of them, is running around doing, doing, and doing more....for others.  Which is a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong, but it's also exhausting.  It can be fun, rewarding, and meaningful, and STILL be terribly exhausting. And no, you don't have to feel ungrateful for admitting that.  You can love your family, love your life and have incredible gratitude for everything in it, and STILL recognize that Christmas can be madness, insanely tiring, and fray every last one of your nerves.

Most people I know are relieved when Christmas is over.  That sounds horrible to say out loud, but the truth is, the whole thing is a lot of pressure.  You want everyone to feel loved, to feel special--each gift to be perfect.  You don't want to forget anyone.  You also have to remember people that quite honestly you could stand to NOT remember quite so much.  That right there is taxing on one's emotional spirit.  

So all that is just to say, take care of yourself.  Be gentle with yourself.  Do things for yourself, don't apologize for doing it.  Whether it's a bath in the middle of the day, a new lip gloss just because, or some other indulgence that you deserve.  Whatever you need, take it.

Christmas is almost here, and there will be plenty of moments that will be wonderful.  I can't wait to see the look on everyone's faces as they open gifts I've labored to pick out so carefully.  I can't wait to see the unbridled joy that Christmas brings my kids.  A 9 year old boy Christmas morning is a wonder, it really is.  I will however, also be SO happy for the moment AFTER all the crazy, when I can kick my feet up, and say, "done, and done."  

A big shout out to all of you who are feeling the strain these last few days pre-Christmas or Hanukkah.  I feel ya, and just know, we are almost there.  Take a moment here and there, more if you can, for yourself, and remember that self-care is an act of love for yourself AND others around you.  If you care for yourself you are able to be present for others.  My favorite yoga wisdom I heard recently was "you can't pour from an empty cup."   Be good to yourselves in the spirit of Christmas--love and kindness for ALL (that's right, YOU too)!

Wish me luck.

Signed, ME {lv}

 

Euro Adventure 2019: Day 41 Phantom, Melatonin Deformities, Divorce Pictures, Holy Whole Foods & Ear Wicking

Our last day of the trip. Very sad, at least John and I were. The kids, it was mixed.  Ava is excited to come home since she’s been gone since January.  Lucia seemed a little excited to go back, but the littles were actually NOT excited—they wished we were going somewhere else.  It’s hard to imagine we have no car to pack up, or a next destination arrival to plan out.  The pattern is a little ingrained by now and it feels weird to do something different.

We tried to kick off early to maximize the day, and we did get off at a decent time.  We started the morning out in Kensington (after taking a quick double decker bus ride), having smoothies and breakfast nibbles.  We walked thru Kensington Gardens, Hyde Park, and then back to Mayfair and Marylebone.  The parks were huge, and open but with a lot of trees and some areas that were sort of "wild".  They weren't fussy, and felt inviting, with people sitting everywhere, chairs to rent, ponds, ducks, lots and lots of grass.   We took the opportunity to plop down at one point and chill, just enjoying the place.

We found ourselves in front of a Whole Foods in Kensington, so I forced us to go in so I could get some “healthy” plane ride snacks.  It was INCREDIBLE.  Like 10x better than the Whole Foods at home (which until now I thought was pretty darn good.) No, in fact, comparatively it sucks.  This WF had the yummiest looking prepared food section I’ve ever seen, and every specialty food thing you could possibly want.  From a gluten free, wheat free, yeast free, sugar free seed bread (can't even imagine what's left to eliminate), to powdered raspberries for baking and probably 150+ different chocolates.  I spent forever in there and still wasn’t done searching for treats (but everyone was about to kill me.)

John and I continued to snap simultaneous pictures, to which the standing joke now is that they are "divorce pictures."  At some point during the trip as we snapped side by side on our phones I said, "you know we take the same pics right? I'm pretty sure that's not necessary."  His response was that my pics often suck, and he didn't want to miss anything.  I added that if we ever got a divorce it would sure be easier than trying to trade family pics too.  It's a funny, but also not funny, joke.  The upside is if we ever DID get a divorce, I'm not wrong...it would sure be easier that we both have a ton of family pictures on our individual iclouds.  For the record, nothing is in the works, but if you had asked me on certain days of the trip, I'm not sure what I would have said. Insert big smile here.

Lunch was only one of many, many stops for food and drink.  No different than any day I guess, someone is always hungry, someone always has to go to the bathroom, and John feels it's his fundamental duty to sample as much food as possible while traveling.  We walked until literally the girls gave out, but just at that point we passed by a Ted Baker classic barber shop (didn't even know he had a barber shop too, but he does) so we sent the girls home in an Uber and John and Romeo (with me snapping pics) had the English barber experience.  It was adorable.  The guy that cut Romeo’s hair did a great job, and even though Romeo was very nervous about having any of his hair cut (he likes to look a little surfer-meets-delinquent-meets-rocker-boy), the guy was reassuring and took his time. John meanwhile got the full treatment from the guy next to him, and a fantastic hair cut (complete with ear wicking which is apparently a Turkish tradition where they take a long stick that basically has a ball of flame at the end and they wave it quickly around the ears to burn off any ear hair.)  I know, crazy right?  Gross that ear hair even exists, but kind of cool that they have devised something as dramatic as a ball of flame to eradicate it.  I’ve never seen anything like it but it works brilliantly.  Also looks like a major liability which I'm guessing is why I've never seen it before.

Eventually Romeo, John and I made it home and we quickly did some packing and organizing and then we all got dressed for the Phantom of the Opera.  All I can say is, it was AMAZING.  It was a flawless production, the quality of the actors/singers/dancers was amazing—I was completely and totally floored.  Romeo and Gia started to fall asleep at some point, it was past 10:00 p.m. toward the end and that was late for them after the day of walking we had.

We grabbed one of the classic English cabs to get home, and then had a whole long discussion about melatonin.  Lucia declared she was sleeping the entire way home on the plane the next day, and Ava said she was going to take 10 mg of melatonin.  I told her that was WAY too much and then tried to explain how it actually worked in the brain (because I think they are under the impression it’s a sleeping pill while really it’s just helping the brain to be reminded to start the sleep cycle--it doesn’t actually DO anything to the sleep cycle itself.)  Anyway, I argued with them about why they shouldn’t take such a high dose and Ava looked and me and said, “why mom? it’s not like it’s going to cause me to grow a penis.”  To which Lucia replied, deadpan, “yeah, mom is going to walk in one day and spot a penis poking thru my pants and she’s going to shake her head and tell me, I told you so, it's your melatonin penis.”   We laughed a lot, and I’ll say it now so I don’t have to say it later in case it really happens, I told you so girls, I told you so.  Ava's fundamental philosophy in life seems to be more is always better which is frightening on so many levels.  

Anyway, a good day and an end to a great trip with many ups and downs, laughs, cries, and a few almost-fist-fights.  I hope one day we'll be telling stories about this trip like we tell stories about our last trips, remembering all the good and forgetting all the bad.  There are so many moments on the trip that I think it's crazy, it's just TOO long, and it's TOO hard, but then it's over and I'm sad, and I think about all the awesome stuff we got to see.  Yes, we had to endure some long days, some brutal tantrums, some so-so airbnb's, lots of food drama and fatigue overload, but in the end, it's still worth it.  Really, really, worth it.

Signed, ME {lv}